Bipolar? Is This Worth Working For?

Hi, how’s it going? I hope you’re having a good day.

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.”

It wasn’t easy in school for most people. We had to try hard to make a good grade. Relationships aren’t easy, either. In relationships, we have to try hard to make them work. Getting a job and working it is hard work. At a job interview we have to try hard to make a good impression, and if we get that job, we have to work hard at it.

For many of us (who didn’t get a car from mom and dad on graduation), getting that first car was hard work. Many of us worked hard to save up the money for our first car. Then we had to work hard to keep gas in it! (Which isn’t much different than today)

It’s the same in life. We work hard in life. We work hard to be a spouse. We work hard to be a parent. We work hard to be a good employee. And if you’re a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder, then you work hard to be a good supporter.

There’s also the expression, “Nothing comes easy in life.” And I agree with that, except that I would add…”…but it’s worth it in the end.”

Your loved one’s stability is worth what you/they have to go through in order to get it. The point is, that stability can be accomplished. I have many success stories to prove it.

Someone might have a bad day at work and ask, “Is this worth working for?” Or someone might see something they want (like a new car), or something they want to do (like a cruise), and they have to ask themselves, “Is this worth working for?”

Well, you need to ask yourself the same thing: “Is my loved one’s stability worth working for?” And I think you will answer, “Yes, it is.”

Now, that’s not to say it will be easy, because it won’t. Bipolar disorder is a very serious illness, and stability with it does not come easily. It takes time. Too many people get impatient with their loved one’s progress and give up too soon. There will be relapses, too. But you just have to expect them as part of the process of recovery.

As far as you’re concerned, just being a good supporter is hard work, isn’t it? Sometimes you may have to deal with things you don’t like. Your loved one may have a bad day, and you have to be patient and also not jump to the conclusion that they are going into an episode.

It’s just one of the things you have to work through. Your loved one will eventually get stabilized on their medications, and that will take time, too, so you need to be patient with that as well. Just remember that with time will come stability, and that it is worth working for.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

  1. I am so looking forward to getting information to be a better caregiver/supporter for my daughter (46 years old). Although the psychiatrist doesn’t seem to try to help her –she thinks she is making things up. Every time she leaves from an appointment she is in tears. She has prescribed a depression medicine but it’s not working. She says the RX is not a miracle worker.

    She has other health issues and takes many RXs prescribed by different doctors –diabetes doctor, kidney doctor, psychiatrist, gastro doctor.

    With what I have experienced with my daughter she definitely has all the symptoms of someone with bipolar disorder. After three years, she is on Social Security disability and presently living with me as she was taken out of her condo for hoarding. She also has a problem with shoplifting. Being an insulin dependent diabetic she sometimes doesn’t give herself the insulin because she sleeps alot and doesn’t eat regular meals. I have been dealing with this for over three years and I am at my wits end. I certainly hope I can find some answers and be able to point her in the right direction.

  2. I agree that it is all worth it however, how difficult it is at this very moment for my 18 year old daughter to see the importance of working hard. Off her meds. for the last 28 days and slipping away quickly. The worst, absolutely nothing I can do for her. It’s like sitting here and watching someone you love so dearly walk into a burning building. I feel helpless over this.

  3. Dear Kat and Eldora,
    Dave is right about stability and how it comes eventually and it takes time.
    Like you both I also had low times with my daughter,until she received the help she needed.
    Rachel had to first want that help desperately and second she had to want to get better. Until Rachel reached that point it was like watching a train wreck everyday.
    Rachel eventually did want help and she grabbed hold of life and fought her BP and came through Everyday I feel blessed to have a daughter who is courageously working hard for her stability.
    Some days are not as good as others some days like today she is riven by her BP and it is such an effort for her even to lift her head from her pillow let alone for her to get up and face the world: but she did and she did this all to help me.
    I can tell you with certainty that your child will regain stability : it takes time but they will become stable I know this for a fact.
    Regards
    shona

  4. Thank you, ladies. I have never visited the blog before, but might come here more often. It is nice to know that others behave the way my daughter (47) does. I get so angry sometimes and then feel guilty, because her behavior is probably not what she choses.

  5. Yes I do agree it takes time and understanding when dealing with those who have BP for I have a grandson whom was told he was ADHD and I believe that after looking BP up and finding out that it is passed down the family from the male side that when one is dealing with it while his son is not and then not making the Doctors do the right kinds of test to make sure that my grandson is not BP for I believe he is for I see the differnece and the meds the Doctor put him on don’t seem to be the right ones and he is only going on 11 and weighs almost 100 pounds and yes part of that is his eating habits but the other part is his meds.
    He lives with his grandfather who is BP and takes meds for it but his father won’t go get tested and get on meds because he don’t want to be labled as he calls it but it would be much better if he did then my grandson would get better help I am sure for it is said that it is passed down from the mens side of the family but when one won’t do anything about it how can they get their son taken care of the right way? My daughter has her disablilitys’ as well and I might even say she is a bit on the BP side but she was tested when she was younger and it was a form of ADHD but now that she is older I think she needs to be retested for it but I can’t make her do it she is her own adult but I just wish they would think about the kids and not just them selfs’. I don’t live close enough to be of much help and it hurts me alot for I fear what could happen each and every day for I have seen my daughters ex-father inlaw go with out his meds and its not a good site to see and that is where I get my fear of him hurting either himself or our grandson, for he is now living with him because his dad lost custody and his mom was having a very hard time dealing with him before that so that is why he was staying with his father but his father is not getting help for himself so that makes my grandson think he has nothing wrong with him and that too me is just wrong all the way around and I would love to know what I could do to help them understand that there are things they need to do even if they don’t like it so if you could please give me some ideas maybe I can get them to do the right thing for my grandson so he can be back with his mom and younger brother for he was getting mean to both of them and she didn’t know how to deal with it but yell or get so mad she may have hurt him so she let him live with his dad and I don’t understand how the courts could let someone who is BP take care of a child who is not only ADHD but who could also be BP??? I just don’t understand for if he don’t take his own meds who’s to say he will make his grandson take his? Is there any thing that can help me understand and maybe help them understand what needs to be done? Yours truly asking for “HELP”

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