Hi, how’s it going for you lately? I hope you’ve been doing ok.
If you haven’t, one of the problems may be a breakdown in your communication. Good communication is SO important when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder.
Today I want to talk to both supporters and survivors about this topic of good communication. Because it does take both of you working together to make this happen.
So how DO you have good communication? This is probably the most overlooked, but crucial points: BE A GOOD LISTENER.
For a supporter, being a good listener can mean the difference between whether your loved one goes into an episode or not. If they try to talk to you but you are distracted, they probably won’t even try. What you need to do instead is stop whatever you’re doing and look at them, showing them that you’re giving them (and whatever they want to talk about) all your attention.
If your loved one is wanting to talk to you about their suicidal thoughts, for example, it is especially important that they feel like they can share this with you. It will help if in times past you have proven yourself a good listener and not just simply dismissed their feelings.
You can do this by not being judgmental, whether you think they are imagining things or not, and being encouraging and supportive. They have to feel as if they can talk to you about anything, even their hallucinations.
If they don’t feel like they can talk to you, or they have tried to talk to you in the past and feel
like you really didn’t listen to them, they will not be as forthcoming in the future telling you the truth about what’s going on with them.
This is more than just assuming that if they have a problem, that they can talk to their therapist about it. You are there more often than their therapist ever could be. And sometimes, timing can
make the difference between whether your loved one gets help or not – meaning that if they do feel they can talk to you, you will be more aware of episodic thoughts and feelings WHEN they are happening, and can help them to avoid a full-blown bipolar episode or go into the hospital if necessary.
Your loved one has to feel as if they can trust you with anything. That no matter what they tell you, you will keep an open mind and not be judgmental, and that you will be encouraging and understanding.
On the other hand, the responsibility for good communication does not just rest in the supporter’s hands. If you have bipolar disorder, you need to trust your supporter enough to talk to them. This is absolutely crucial, as they cannot read your mind. You need to talk to them, tell them how you feel, what you are thinking, and what is really going on with you. This way they can help you. Especially if you are noticing signs and symptoms of a bipolar episode. What if you need to go to the hospital? How is your supporter going to know if you don’t tell them?
For both of you, I would say it is essential to good communication between both of you to have a listening ear – just being a good listener can make the big difference.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave