Hi,
How are you?
I hope you’re doing well today.
Let me tell you (you already know) – there is a lot of fear in this world.
People fear all sorts of things –
Spiders…
Dark places…
“Monsters”…
The future…
Losing their loved ones…
Dying…
Losing their job…
Being alone…
I’ll tell you, there are a lot of psychiatrists making a lot of money off people’s fears!
I was talking to a man the other day who has bipolar disorder.
I asked him what his greatest fear was with bipolar disorder.
He told me it was change.
He said he is mostly stable, but his moods can change at any time, and that scares him.
Let me tell you, this guy is 6’5” and weighs 240 pounds.
You would think that nothing would scare him.
But here he is with bipolar disorder, and he is afraid of change.
That’s why, in my courses/systems, I spend so much time talking about stability. Because the more stable you are, the less you have to fear.
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Many people fear change.
They get used to things being a certain way, and they get comfortable.
Then something changes, and they are thrown off course.
That’s what happens with bipolar disorder.
You and your loved one could be the most financially secure people in the world…
BUT…
One manic episode can wipe out your finances.
You and your loved one could be the closest couple in the world…
BUT…
One episode of rage can cause a rift between you.
You and your loved one could have the most successful business in the world…
BUT…
One depressive episode can destroy your loved one’s ability to manage that business.
But let’s go back to one thing that this man told me.
Something which I think is key to his problems.
He said he was “mostly stable.”
It’s only when you reach full stability that you lose your fear of change.
Because, for the most part, you can trust that you aren’t going to go into an episode.
You don’t have to fear the changes that an episode brings.
You don’t have to worry about your relationship with your supporter.
And if you’re really stable…
You won’t even fear a change in medication, should that become necessary.
You’ll just realize that that is a part of life with the disorder.
And if you’re really stable…
You won’t fear if you have to change your doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist.
You’ll just realize that things happen beyond our control sometimes.
So the key to not being afraid of change…
Is STABILITY.
Are you or your loved one still living in fear of bipolar episodes?
The best way to fight that fear is to strive for stability.
Agree or disagree?
Post responses below
yes I agree stability is the key while i still have little highs nd little lows caused by triggers once you learn that everybody else is going thru these same things and not freaking out you began to realize that this to will pass in time and just go with the flo become a willow and bend but be strong like an oak and stick with the idea that this is life you can handle it with the best of them.
thanks for being there for us David.
sandra ruth
i beleive i have ta agree. the more stable one is, better the life can be lived
No matter how “stable” I may be, I STILL look over my shoulder at oncoming doom. I haven’t been hospitalized for mania since 1977, but I’ve had mini-episodes that feel just as TERRIBLE as being in a full-blown manic episode. One can “think” they are stable, but the mechanics of the dis-ease of bipolar render it IMPOSSIBLE not to anticipate a recurrence of an episode.
I’m sure you’re aware that, as stable as your mother may appear, there is still the energy behind her going through another episode. So – no, I don’t agree with you that “stability” makes you immune to another episode, either manic or depressive. I think you’re wrong on this one, and I tend to go along with ALL of your other emails.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
My husband is Bipolar, Type II Rapid cycling. This means that he cycles in and out of episodes. When he is in an episode, he is irrational, abusive and suddenly thinks it is me who has the “real” problem and it becomes extremely difficult to take. I really do not know how I have survived 35 years of marriage. When he comes out of his episode, he is quite lovely. When he is in an episode, he is a monster and I am so afraid I spend the entire time just shaking. It is scary. He is seeing the best Psychiatrist who specializes in Bipolar. He understands. With medication, my husbands episodes and diminished in severity. The last medication he was given (Zeldox) really did work. However, he does not like the tired feeling he gets. I think he is taking it at the wrong time of day. However, he plays with it, sometimes does not take it, and also drinks alcohol which can often trigger an episode. Right now, he is in a full-blown crazy episode and is abusing me, as always. He CANNOT see it, nor can he be rational. This time, I told him that he needed to go to a hotel until he can be nice (I have always been the one to go to a hotel until he comes out of it). I do not know if this is the right thing, but I am feeling that I cannot handle these episodes on my own. I have decided to protect myself- and guess what– it is so beautifully peaceful in the house and I am actaully enjoying the evening without his craziness in the house.
So no, even though he has been stable, when he goes into an episode, he becomes totally irrational and cannot see beyond it. There is no such thing as stablity. Maybe, eventually, when he decides to stay on his meds, I’ll see stability.
The constant dread of another manic episode has kept my loved one in a depressive episode for a long time. I can’t persuade him to do anything, not even read your encouraging emails. The drink is doing the opposite to helping him to get better. He used to be a fighter and very positive, but recently seems to have given up. I’m not giving up hope though and firmly believe that some day he will be better, although he may have to go through another episode first.
I know I have been adding my two cents often lately. I am a long time survivor of manic depression, with other personality disorders thrown in for good measure. I was stable (according to my health care professionals and family/care givers), but in reality I was in a semi-comatose state. I really cannot recall the last 5 years. I was so doped up, I felt nothing.
I do not think of that life condition as being stable, maybe controllable and little trouble, but I was not living my life. I did nothing but watch TV and smoke.
I woke up in February, 100lbs heavier and did not recognise the old fat woman I saw in the mirror. I avoid looking in the mirror. I found an excellent weight loss sight on the net. SparkPeople, not only did they get me moving again, but they helped me find my voice. I am writing again. I went out and started a business, my first work experience in 30 years.
Through this business, I found a little home I could rent. I am independent again. Making some friends and growing an organic garden. Soon I hope to build a chicken coop and have healthier food to eat.
You would not believe the changes I have survived since February.
I am stable now, but I must be proactive in manipulateing my envirnment. Toxic people, gone. TV gone………..good food……….fresh air…….lots of walking………..listening to soothing music…. reconnecting with my maker ……….letting myself do things that give me pleasure……..surrounding myself with positive, upbeat people that see the glass half full, that look forward to the challanges as opportunities for self improvement.
And you will not like this……….stop taking medicine that was not healthy for me. The only time in my life that I have been hospitalized was when I was on the wrong medicine, eating wrong, no exercise and surrounded by my negative, pessimistic family.
Maybe, since I have food allergies (one is to wheat it is like a knock out drug for me) I will continue this journey of life without the need to take harmful pharma drugs. There have been days when sleep was long in coming, on those nights (rather than tossing and turning in my torture chamber), I get up and eat a peanut butter and honey sandwich on organic whole wheat bread with a glass of raw organic milk, I start to yawn before I rinse my glass. I am asleep before my head hits my soft feather pillow.
I have been off Lithium for nearly 6 months ( I was only taking 300 mg twice a day). I am off the Lyrica so now I can think clearly again, no more old-timers symptoms.
I am at peace for the first time since I was 16, I am 53 now. Perhaps, now is my chance to live, be loved and explore all the wonderful talents God has blessed me with. Who knows, someday my doctor will want to try a new medicine, I value his opinion and I will consider it if circumstances change.
Right now, I have my voice back………..I will try to sing my song and live this life with as much love and compassion for my fellow man as I have always wished I could do, but was unable because I was struggling to keep my nose above water so I could breath.
Bless you all, and remember to be the frog. Never give up………. never compromise your integrity…… look for the silver lining in every storm cloud….it is there. No matter how difficult your current circumstances, hold on, one thing you can depend on in this journey of life is………things change and tomorrow may be a better day.
peace .. tina AKA ContenthermitCriesOut on blog.spot.com
Carol – first and foremost you MUST protect yourself.
My lovely monster man rages on a regular basis – my son and I figured aboug 85% of the time. The 15% of the time that he can be nice is not worth all the heartache and abuse. Understandably he cannot understand because he is irrational, but the rest of us are not allowed to rage and abuse and someone suffering from bipolar should not be allowed to rage uncontrollably at any moment (literally at any moment) either. Yes, of course there are triggers, we are all triggered but we also have to protect ourselves as supporters from further destruction. It is tough love but it is what it is until they treat their illness with respect as we try decade after decade.