Hi,
Sorry for the delay. I had to go to the gym this morning because it closes early.
How are you doing today?
I hope you’re doing well.
Let me ask you something:
Have you ever watched two people playing a game of chess?
They’re so serious.
Each move is precise.
That’s because each move determines the outcome.
Just one move can mean the difference between winning or losing the game.
Coping and dealing with bipolar disorder is like that.
Oh, not that it’s a game by any means.
More like a war.
And a war is made up of battles.
Each battle is precisely planned.
It’s called STRATEGY.
Your strategy, too, determines the outcome, whether it’s a game of chess or a war.
Or your battle with bipolar disorder.
In my courses/systems, I discuss the fact that you need to develop strategies in order to control bipolar disorder.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
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Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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And these strategies determine the outcome of your battle.
If you went into a chess game without any strategy, you will lose the game, because I guarantee you that your opponent will be using strategy against you.
If you went into a war without any strategy, you would lose that war, because I guarantee you that your enemy will be using strategy against you.
And if you’re trying to cope and deal with bipolar disorder without a strategy, you will lose as well.
Stability is all about carefully planned moves.
And your strategy will determine the outcome.
The war against bipolar disorder is a war that you CAN win, though.
I know, because my mom has.
And I have scores of testimonials from others who have done it as well.
I helped my mom develop her strategies, made up of planning and systems.
And each move she makes determines the outcome – her stability.
As long as she follows the plans, systems, and strategies, she stays stable.
Which she has now, for a long time.
Some of her strategies are:
• getting good sleep
• eating right
• taking her medications
• following a routine
• seeing her doctors and therapist
• avoiding her bipolar triggers
• watching for signs/symptoms
of an impending episode
Some supporter strategies would include:
• making sure your loved one
takes their medication
• good communication with your
loved one
• being supportive and understanding
• keeping a safe, peaceful home
environment for your loved one
• avoiding your loved one’s triggers
(and helping them to avoid them)
• watching for signs/symptoms of an
oncoming episode
• planning in advance what to do if
they need to go to the hospital
And remembering that the enemy is NOT your loved one – it’s their bipolar disorder.
You may still lose some battles with bipolar disorder – your loved one may still have setbacks and episodes – but with good strategy, you WILL win the war!
Post responses below
Family support makes all the difference. Those without suffer, they have no one to encourage them to take care of their disorder.
Dear Dave,
as usual your email is thoughtful and full of very sound advice.
I believe I will commit the above bulleted points to memory.
Whilst my daughter is stable now and has been for the last 4 months I dare not be complaisant about this. The stangest thing is that my daughter won her major skirmish with BP so I feel like Im standing in the battle field the battles won all the troops are preparing to go home but Im still hyped up. ”
your email gives me me so many clues about how we go forward. I dont want my daughter to lose the momentum of her hard won victory . Managing the peace and on going stability requires planning – I notice her suppport workers are beginning to pull back the appointments are becoming less and less frequent – my daughter is being weaned off her court appointed pyschologist so I will talk to her about what she wants to do about that.She has been weaned off her antipschotic injections as well. I will have to make sure she is not suffering any side affects. I notice she has a definite time limit when dealing with her sons -its about 2 hours maximum.
I do find this period a little stressful ( not ever as bad as the major episode) its probably because it is a brand new unknown we are all in as a little family. I am totally convinced we will come through this new period with flying colours. although Id thought as soon as Rachel ( my daughter) had gotten her new job everything would be okay- well thats not so because there is the ongoing maintainence of the new peace. and that requires like you said strategies.
Thank you once again for your advice and opinions they are such valuable resources.
Regards
shona
i guess i lost the war and battles. she left me for another man. she tells me she still loves me and cares for me, but i want to control her life. so she left. she is in a world of fast pase. she goes to aa/na meets 3 ta 4 times a week. she dosnt take her medication like she should. she just ups and leaves after her other friend gets mad at her and does some stupid things? her children dont like him. he is also a recovering addict. since shes left i have not talked to her and try to stay away to respect her wishs. is there any way i can convince her shes doin wrong and bring her back to me? i am soooo wanting to be able to help her. i believe this because i believe God brought us together for a reason.
Hi David,
This is great; thanks very much.
Cheers,
Suzanne
David, I have Bipolar I, chronic, rapid cycling, mixed states, atypical and treatment-resistant. My regular p-doc had said awhile back that “Recovery is unrealistic for me”. I do the things you listed for your mom’s stability. A “second opinion” said that they’d run out of new meds for me and that I needed to start doing my part, like support group (I used to attend DBSA and found that I was pulled down by other people’s traumatic stories), DBT, etc. I got a book on DBT, hated it and burned it. I’ve got another based on CBT which seems slightly more helpful, but very difficult. So, my question is this: Do my moods affect my brain chemistry, or is it the other way around? Do you believe that workbooks can help deal with bipolar even when my dr. has never recommended a book or a group, and says recovery is unrealistic? Looking at my psych. records, I have been in an episode all but four months in the last two years. I’m in an HMO that is short on therapists. Getting to see one is all but impossible. I feel like giving up. Life is just too &*$%% hard!
LOL (laughing out loud)
Supporting someone who is out of control and refuses help and is in denial and bipolar is only one of the many problems wrong with them is LIKE fighting a war withOUT weapons. It is LIKE being on the front lines and risking your own life, no matter what you do to follow all the rules that you lay out. All the ideas you give to us as supporters are great if you are only dealing with bipolar but throw in personality disorders like narcissism, and comorbidities like alcoholism and behavior that is intolerable and a full moon, and it would be easier to be in a war without any weapons on the front line, becuase we are doing it anyway. Strategy – tried it all. But he is and the rest of the family is stuck on blaming me because they need a scapegoat to keep their pathological lying going. I love your ideas, and I would love to be with someone who was straigtaway ONLY bipolar but that’s not what my experience has been and unfortunately it makes the whole bipolar population look really pathetic. And unlike Chess, you can always start another game in, bipolar rages that happen repeatedly make you pack up the game and never play again!
In my humble opinion, it’s ALL the battles – each one – taken individually and WON, that determines the stability of the one with bipolar. NO war can EVER be won against bipolar until and unless there’s a cure. Although I’ve been relatlively stable for 32 years, I STILL look over my shoulder for an episode that I might NOT see coming. It’s just the nature of the beast..
I am STILL dizzy, and I can’t see the DR I’m supposed to see until the end of this month. I told the referring nurse that “time was of the essence,” in getting this condition analyzed, treated, and behind me. Think of your worst hangover – and that’s how I feel. By the time I see this new DR, it will have been three MONTHS that I’ve had vertigo.
However, I DO have GOOD news!! I’ve rented my room, and will have extra income every month to pay bills! My new “roomie” has the same name as my sister, which seems VERY coincidental. She’s on disability for TBI and epilepsy. She’s 47, and has just moved to town. She appears to be coming out of a “bad place,” and really needs some stability in having a place of her own. We hit it off right away – and she paid me one month’s rent in cash!!
Hope everybody is having a GREAT Labor Day!!
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
Reply To “Family Member” and others…..Such Good Advice….makes me think!!!!!(by the way,the last book my beloved read…GEE I WONDER WHY!!!!????) IS “PEOPLE OF THE LIE A HOPE FOR HEALING HUMAN EVIL” by M. Scott Peck MD .He finally saw GRACE b/4 he died…..He had read it many times b/4 BUT refused to make the appointment back until the day befor he died..MOMMY SAYS “THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM…..it’s YOU”…Guess what the psychs said about her 30 years ago!!!! (When he was in therapy)……I COULD GO ON, BUT YOU GET MY DRIFT..HE IS FLYING HIGH WITH THE ANGELS NOW…THE MOST DOWN TO EARTH, BEAUTIFUL MAN THERE EVER WAS!!!!! ANND WHAT A WORK HORSE!!!! WE WERE A TEAM…YOU COULD NEVER FIND A BETTER MAN! HE FOUGHT A LONG, LONG BATTLE….ALWAYS THINKING HE HAD LET PEOPLE DOWN, WHEN IT WAS HIS MOM AND DAD THAT SACRIFICED HIM…I COULD SAY SO MUCH MORE…they would never help me…….OR HIM….You know what I mean….PLESE REPLY TO THIS IF ANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS…AND he did fight her HARD and still tried to be a good son!!!!
SAY a prayer for my ALBE’
He is Guiding me now…..
Forever Yours….
KAT
YESTERDAY LABOR DAY WAS A VERY BAD DAY FOR ME, I HAVE STRUGGLED WITH BPOLAR FOR ALONG TIME DONT KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN GO ON…………..
Thank you for this message. It is one of your best, and I find it very helpful — good advice.