I got up at 6:00am and I am already behind schedule. Anyway, I
wanted to drop you a quick email about something that I wanted
to tell you.
Yesterday I was talking with someone about why their loved one
was “so slow” to get better. I was kind of shocked because I felt
this person was kind of being mean.
Their loved one went into a major episode like my mom and he was
saying how it had already been a month and she wasn’t better.
I said to him, “how long do you think it should take to recover
from a major episode from a serious chemical imbalance mood disorder
like bipolar disorder?” He said, “well when you say it like that
I guess well maybe longer than a month.”
So I told him to listen to “My mom’s story” which is a cd
in my courses/systems. He skipped that cd because he
wanted to get to the important stuff. I explained
I didn’t add filler material in my stuff and that everything
was important. He said that he would go through everything more
carefully.
I hope this isn’t you. If you got my courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I hope you listened to that cd. It should have been the
first one for you to hear. I did that on purpose.
WHY DO I HAVE MY MOM’S STORY ON A CD?
I wasn’t going to have this. But really at the last second
of finishing up my material I decided to include it. See when
my mom was undergoing treatment, I never knew how long it would
take. I didn’t know what to expect. NOBODY would give me any
answers or estimates. It was really annoying. They would give
me the you just have to wait and see.
I felt like if I put exactly what I did to help my mom on
on CD and how long it took, it would help you know what you would
be up against. People love that cd because of this.
Think about this. If you have a loved one and he/she is not
getting better after 6 months you might feel like there is
something wrong. But then if you hear it took many people 12 months
or more to become stable after a major episode you change your
view.
Information is the key and that’s what the mental health community
never seems to offer. They tell you about the 16 medications,
what they do, and all the names of illnesses. They don’t tell
you a lot of the stuff you need to know. Like, it takes time
for a loved one to recover from a major illness.
If I were you, take whatever you are thinking and double it and
plan for it. This way it makes it easier. If your loved one recovers
quicker that’s great.
This reminds me on what something a girl named Lindsey told me the
other day. I was looking at getting a new desk and filing cabinet
for my home office. Right now the files fall out of the filing
cabinet because it’s broken and my desk is broken which is really
annoying.
So I was trying to figure out how big of a desk I could fit
in my room. I also wanted to get a new filing cabinet and
shelves.
I started to round down when I was doing my calculations. Lindsey
said why are you rounding down not up. Then I thought how dumb
that was. It’s kind of like helping a loved one with bipolar disorder.
Plan for recovery to take longer and don’t get mad or impatient if it
takes more time.
Hey I have to run and get some stuff done today.
I will write more tomorrow.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails that I have sent in the
past and lots of great information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give mini seminars designed to
teach you information you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
iv been in a depressive mood since feb im no closer to feeling better ,there is no time limit to how long this lasts im going mad thinking i will never feel better.it lasts most of the time till i then go on a high.
Hi, I just read the first email you sent.
I am bipolar, and I have four children who are also bipolar.
Realizing there is no cure is the first key. It never goes away, its always there waiting. If you are on the wrong medication or are not diligent in taking the medication, you WILL NOT get any better!
And to Jenny, If you are still depressed after a period of time, see your doctor and have him adjust your medication.
From someone who’s been there,
Lola Vanslette
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I’M BIPOLAR AND A RAPID CYCLER…..ONCE TO TWICE PER MONTH..SUPPOSEDLY I’M STABILIZED…I MUST ADMIT I LIKE THE MANIC EPISODES BECAUSE AT LEAST THEN I HAVE ENERGY……I ALSO SUFFER FROM SEVERE DEPRESSION AT TIMES AND RARELY GO OUTSIDE. I AM ON DISABILITY. I’VE ALSO BEEN HOSPITALIZED SEVERAL TIMES WITHIN THE LAST YEAR, THE LAST BEING ABOUT EIGHT MONTHS AGO. I SEE MY DOCTOR EVERY THREE MONTHS. AT TIMES I’VE GONE TO SEE HIM THREE TIMES PER MONTH. I KNOW I NEED MY MEDS ADJUSTED AGAIN…..BUT THAT GETS OLD AFTER TAKING EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN……
My adult daughter (31) was diagnosed last year after suffering for many years with bipolar disorder. She is no better after seeing several doctors and therapists. She only wants a social life as she missed out thru her teen years. I have financially as well as emotionally supported her for years. As an RN I have done much research on my own and read everything I can lay my hands on. Now she says she is moving out because I expect her to clean up after herself and respect my personal property. I am at wits end. All of this leaves me frustrated and at odds with my husband (her father). All they do is scream at each other. I can no longer stand the tension. What’s a mother to do????????
I just sent it but don’t know if it went thru. It was about my mother when I was a child & had asked if you thought her problem was also bipolar disorder. If you didn’t get it then I will write it again. But I just want also to let you know I appreciate your article because so many years I both (feared, sometimes hated,& yet tried to be good to my mother)because of the 10 commandments which said to honor your parents.
She was not only mean to me but my poor dad. Hiding his diabetic medications so he went into a coma & died. I’m in my 70’s now but my childhood was living hell. Our children are grown & parents themselves. But thank God, they are wonderful parents, & all our grandchildren are just great teenagers. I thank God, I showed my family love. My husband & I been married 48 wonderful years. But my life was hell until I got married and on my own. Thank you so much for your article. cjpine@bluefrog.com.
My attention was riveted to your information when I received it. I wish that I could afford to purchase your complete work to help with my wife. I am not able to even afford $97/98 on an occasion. However, I wanted to say that my wife seems to cycle more frequently that most of the stories that I have read about for someone with bi-polar disorder. There seems to be several cycles in one day then there are days between the manic episodes. she doesn’t seem to stay long in a depression episode. Is there any information that I can get to help understand and support my wife better?
I guess I didn’t get to hear the cd. I wish I had of. My Sister thinks possibly that her Son may be bipolar and my son-in-law is bipolar
How can I get your bipolar mini course?
Thank you!!!!
Hi Dave;
My daughter’s first real episode was when she was 30. Unfortunately, as you stated no one in the hospital during her 3 stays or afterwards in therapy said anything about how long, what was really happening, plus they never told her apparently what was happening to her.
So after juggling through the meds therapists etc. she was fine this past Christmas at age 32. So fine she decided she didn’t need the meds anymore, so sometimes she takes them and sometimes she doesn’t. Guess whose sliding toward the pit again. Well I’ve been getting your e-mails for these past 2 years. but I never bought your course. Never quite had enough pennies to rub together. But your e-mails have helped a lot. I have forwarded your e-mail address to 2 mothers who have teenagers recently diagnosed. I used to call my daughter the Exorcist. Now I know. I used to say she is exactly like my mother, now I know.
Yep, my daughter is a clone of my mom. But in the forties, there wasn’t any plan for help, meds. Your shut up and lived with whatever happened. Anyway, thank you for being there. By the way there is a fantastic hospital in New Jersey to help BiPolar people get on their feet, (if you can afford $3,000 per month). It is around Princeton NJ
THANK YOU. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL HELP!!!
hi Dave,
I am a supporter…or should say was. I cant afford your course because of the finacial ruin my fiance left me in. He was just recently diagnosed (in Jan) at 42. The episode started because I found out that after plannig (and putting down $) on our wedding that he had arrest warrents out for not paying alimony that I didnt even know he had. He had convienced me last spring that MY house was not a comfortable place for his children and that was important to him so I agreed to do an addition and he would be fianacially half responsible for it.I ran out of money and its still not done since he really couldn’t afford to pay for any of it (more of those bipolar lies) Long and short he had an episode and was diagnosed. I have read all your daily emails and done all the right things, he has great dr’s .He has been in the hospital 4 x since January for suicade attemts, cutting and abusing drugs.The bottom line is you cant help someone who doesnt want to help themself. I myself suffer from derpession and PTSD as an abuse survivor. I am /was a fighter. I have my oun business wihich is now going under since I am now in a bad place. I tried to take care of myself and him the best I could but all I got now was betrayal. He spent the last 3 nights with some woman he met in the hospital.No explainations, no appologies and as you had said to all us supporters, No thank you for all i had done to try to help, all the abuse I got during the episodes, nothing. Ans isince I am now left with a failing business and a mortage I cant pay by myself I hav been beatI never put a time limit on how long it would take him to be stable but this supporter will now loose everything I have, and the man I once trusted and never will again. Thank you for all your support it really gave me hope but I am just too screwd uo now to even try anymore. I guess I just wanted to vent and say thanks to you, the only one who really cared
I have bipolar type II, and I am a rapid cycler…my moods change over and over during the course of a day. Right now my nights and days are backwards (not a good thing) and had a major episode last August, and am just starting to feel like myself again. It’s been almost a year. Medicine is not a magic cure, neither is therapy, or healthy eating and habits. It takes moral support, a will to be better and do better which is hard when you aren’t “yourself” especially if you’re still in the pit of an episode. Just as there is no magic number for how long someone grieves when they lose a loved one, there isn’t one for how long it takes to get over an episode or to get back into the swing of things.
For all of those who are supporting someone with bipolar don’t give up on your loved one…(except you Ray…I read your post and my heart goes out to you, it sounds like there was more than bipolar going on with your situation). I wish my family members were even interested in knowing what to do to help, or taking the time to look at or read anything. I’ve bought books for them to read, tried to talk to them about it, etc but they don’t read the books, etc. So it’s up to me to help myself. I have moral support but that is it.
I know I can do better. I know I am worth the time it would take for someone who loves me to read a book or email, etc. I know I am not alone, but sometimes I feel very alone.
I think it is absolutely wonderful that people actually take the time to do whatever it takes to support their loved ones. HIGH ^5 to all of you.
you are absolutely right dave. i had a major episode and i dont ever feel quite normal unless i can say ive been stable for a two year period. even after a major episode you can have several relapses or setbacks it really does seem to take a long time.
Can somebody please tell me how you know the difference between doing things because of an episode and someone who IS bipolar being just plain nasty and hurtfull and simply blaming it all on the disorder???
I am understanding more as I learn but how much is a person suposed to have to deal with especially when there are small children involved and to be protected?
I am going on a downhill spiral after a high and normalcy of more than 2 years. Its as if i am running away from myself from a person that i know is going to disrupt all my smooth sailing and impulsiveness and flirtings and many dates. I am depressed and not normal depressed mood that is always there even if i am ‘normal’ but the darkness. So now i dont want to try another regime of drugs after finding a combination that works.
Lamictial 200mgxZoloftxCamcolith(Lithium)xNormison(of late because i do not sleep and exhaustion)
At least i know i may be able to control it but how can i control bipolar depression(u know the long lost relative that u dont want but know u cant chase her away for now and u have to deal with her)
Oh yes before i forgot i chased my boyfriend away because who is to say i really love him or its the different episodes that love him. For right now he just is an irrtation with his concern and lovey dovey sms’ and emails. WHich do not make sense as we leave the same house in the morning so why behave as if he has not seen me. So i changed my locks i want to be alone and he is alwys asking what is wrong as he senses i am not ok as if he is a mind magician.
I am depressed and it is very tiring as i am avoinding this after coming from a two year high and normalcy. But the moodiness has always been there with me even during those ‘happy rollercoaster rides’. But i cnat stop it anymoer as it is tiring me too much trying to do things i have no more interest in but now at least i ma back to reading those books i could not read during the happy days(i bought a bmw, went to a foreign country spur of moment, bought same color clothes, took friends on lunch and gave of my good treats i keep in the office etc) so i try to do those things which i assumed were making me allright but they no more so it clicks this morning that it was never about the actions it was the chemical imbalance David talks about(but how come it take sso long to sink in??)In my case the depressive moods never ever left me but i was in control and it was not bad i would be moody now and suddenly be ok. Not this time its as if a long lost relative has come to visit but i cannot chase her way because its family but i have to accomodate her for now. i had found a good psychiatrist doctor and psychologist and found eventually te correct combination drugs. So i wonder whether i will have to start the whole process again to deal with the depression lucky he knows how i become.
But i could not help it actually as i am suspect of my boyfriend and told him to go back to his place as he was irritating me with his’whats the matter u dont sound ok’ and i wonder how can he see that i am not ok just from my emails and sms’ which i am forced to respond to because he is ‘lovey dovey’ and i have no more emotions to respond to loving things for now. Do i have to get new meds to get better: currently Lamictil 200mgxZoloftx Lithiumx Normison(for sleeping).
Do u know whether the 5HTP, St Johns Wort, a stress/anxiety herb combination i saw at herbal shop will help instead of taking so much drugs. The poor liver needs a rest from the onslaught of so much toxicity and what about the kidneys also??
Hi David
The way I was treated for my bipolar disorder actually aggravated the condition.
The first pyschitrist that i consulted asked me questions in such a manner that i did not feel comfortable with him at all. And he made me feel that I have a disease that I should be ashamed ofand there is no hope. Such psychitrists actually need to have their license revoked. They do more harm than any good in this society. Being a psychitrist is a very responsible job and it needs to be handled with care .
And while I was hospitalised- some doctors were concerned but most treated me as someone that they didnt really care about.
The point I’m trying to make here is that pyschitrists play a major role in our society- because they are qualified to under the human mind and its emotions.
They are the first neutral party that a person with any form of depression would go to. It is important that they reassure the patient, couple it with counseling sessions and not just prescribe some medicines.
They are the people who can make a huge difference and control so much of suffering. Cause believe me there is no suffering greater that mental suffering. It completely leaves you devastated.
Hello
I have read one of your messages which you told customers to listen to your mother’s testimony on CD first before proceeding to others.
My question is…
Since there may be some deaf customers, have you included your mother’s testimony on papers to be read?
Hello
I have read one of your messages which you told customers to listen to your mother’s testimony on CD first before proceeding to others.
My question is…
Since there may be some deaf customers, have you included your mother’s testimony on papers to be read?