Bipolar Disorder Lesson From My Shoveling Snow–I fell down

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Hi,

How’s it going?

Hope you are doing well.

I wanted to tell you what happen
to me on Thursday and it’s a very
important bipolar disorder lesson.

Here’s what happen. It snowed on Thursday.
You may have heard about the “big snowstorm”
in the Northeastern part of the USA.

So everyone was all freaked out about it.
It was a lot less snow than they said
it was going to be.

So at around 5:00pm, I was done working
and decided to head over to the gym.

I went there and couldn’t believe there
was no one in the parking lot. I knew
exactly what had happen–the gym was closed
early.

I couldn’t believe it. I was so annoyed.
So then I thought “what am I going to
do?” I decided to drive over to my
one office and pick up some stuff. It’s
also by where my parents live. So I decided
to head over there.

I was driving along and one of those “New Jersey
mean drivers” (which New Jersey is filled with),
was driving right behind me. I let him pass
and when he did, he honked his horn at me.

I was driving 35 miles per hour in a 35 mile
per hour zone with snow on the road?

So I went to the office, and picked up some stuff.

Then I decided to stop by the store and pick
my mom up a surprise (my dad was away on a trip
so he wasn’t going to get a surprise). I got
over to my parents and noticed that my mom
had a little bit of the drive way shoveled.

So I figured I would be a good son so to speak
and shovel the rest. So I went into the
garage and looked for the “good shovel.”

The good shovel seemed to have vanished
and there was another one. I was skeptical
about how good it would be.

IMPORTANT BIPOLAR LESSON COMING

Here is where my nightmare started.

So I started using the shovel. It
was horrible. This being kind.

It was super flimsy. It was junk.
I was getting really mad. Then I fell
down trying to push the snow. The
thing was terrible. I had sneakers
on.

I had a bad shovel and I was slipping
and sliding all over the place. This
little kid saw me and laughed and asked
if I was dancing. I said, “NO, how
about you help me.” He said, ‘I
am going to play with my Xbox.”

I slid all over the place.
I noticed that people were looking at
me as the drove by like, I was some kind
of “side show.”

Then people were driving by and beeping
at me and saying, “hey, how’s it going,
having fun?”

I was like in my head, “yea, I am having
a blast.”

So I wound up spending a really long time
doing a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

WHY?

Because the shovel was horrible. I was
so mad at the darn shovel I decided
it would be punished when I was done.
It was going to be put into the garbage.

I was wondering while I was shoveling
should I try to go find another one really
fast. But I figured that would take longer.

Eventually my mom came out side. I wanted
to surprise her but since it was taking me
so darn long and it was so noisy, she eventually
heard me.

I was like “mom, what the heck kind of shovel
did you buy?” She was like, “one that was
on sale.”

I was like “why didn’t you get the good kind?”
She said, “that cost a lot more.”

I said, “do you want the shovel to work right?”
She thought about it and said, “well I guess
you are right, I guess that’s why it was so
hard for me to shovel the driveway.”

I said, “You think :)?”

I was finally done. Then I said to
the people watching and laughing that
it was time to pay up for my show.
They laughed at me some more. One
person asked if I would shovel their
driveway as well. I was like, “no
thanks!”

Then I was thinking about something
with bipolar disorder.

how people shop for doctors and
the important bipolar disorder lesson.

You know what the first question from
the average person is?
Guess and then scroll down…

No cheating!!! Guess then scroll down…

“How much do you charge?” If someone say a lot,
many people say, “oh that’s too much.” You know
what the first questions should be:

-Do you know bipolar disorder well?
-How much experience with bipolar disorder do you have?
-What your philosophy of medication?
-What kind of success have you seen?
-Are you accessible for emergencies if so, how?
-Have you ever been sued for your services?
-How long are your visits with patients?

In my systems/courses below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I talk about how to shop for a doctor. I have a
system where you can sort through hundreds
of doctors or therapists and have them
contact you full qualified. Then you just
ask the questions I have listed (like
the ones above and more). I also go
a step further and have the doctor
sign a document with their answers.

It sounds crazy, or impossible but it
works. This is how I found
my mom’s doctor. I NEVER worried
about price first.

You worry about if the person can
do the job and then price.

Just like the shovel. The shovel
my mom bought was a great price but
it was horrible. It didn’t do the job.
Overtime the shovel will wind up erasing
any savings because it takes so darn long
to use the piece of junk.

When it comes to doctors, ones that
are direct cheap usually are terrible,
flooded with patients and unable to
deliver great service and they themselves
don’t usually stay in one practice long.

Ever have this happen where you just think
of price.

You really do get what you pay for.
I saw these towels in the store a month ago.
It was like $6.99 for a million (okay
maybe not that many, like 30).

I swear that they fell apart in my car
on the way from the store 🙂

I told my Grandmother and she laughed
and said, “You get what you pay for.”

Well I have to run. Catch you tomorrow.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

  1. Hi Dave,

    A few years back my son was shoveling the snow from our driveway(which is pretty big). It was icy, and very difficult to shovel so he did a small section, quit, and came inside. My daughters and I decided to take a stab at it. We grabbed different shovels, and started working. A few moments later our neighbor came by with his large snow plow attachment on his truck and offered to do our driveway(and wouldn’t take any money. –so nice!) He finished in about 10 minutes. The girls and I went back inside and told my son to take a look; that we were done. You should have seen his face–it was hilarious.

    My husband is bipolar. He’s had 3 different doctors. The one he sees now is excellent, & very knowledgable. I think the cost of seeing a doctor is WAY less than my husband’s manic expenditures, so it’s worth the money. We are fortunate to have good insurance, though. I’m sure it’s difficult to make those payments without insurance.

  2. Hi Dave

    I understand the logic here but what about people who are on fixed incomes or no income who have less of a choice of who they see. Medicaid users have less of a choice because not all mental health providers accept medicaid. That is something I hope to see change one day.

    And then there are those that have no income because they can’t hold on to any of the money they do manage to make but also refuse to get help anyway. And the first reason they cite for not getting help is their finances. Besides the denial that will never seem to end, what do you do with that?

  3. Dave, that was a really good comment. I live in Canada and here we don’t pay for the Healthcare which is why a lot of people here just accept the Doctor they are given, I did look around for someone very knowledgeable in Bipolar both in the Family Doctor and the Phsychiatrist as I feel my wifes health and well being is worth that and so is mine and my 14 year old sons. Thank-you Doug

  4. David,

    Your comments are, I am sure, very accurate. From the UK though it always makes me wonder why Americans have not improved their healthcare system to be inclusive and deliver good care to everyone.

    Here, since I was diagnosed, I have been to our GP (family doctor – gatekeeper to specialists) had a home visit from a psychiatrist (accompanied by a nurse in case I needed instant medication!) seen her at her clinic, and started therapy sessions with a psychotherapist.

    The direct cost to me? Nil. The quality of the service, so far as I am able to assess: very good to excellent.

    And the speed? Well I realised I needed to deal with the problem only in May, and caused some delay by my own slowness in the gap between my home visit and returning forms.

    Our National Health Service has now become quite slick ;-), and a recent operation and aftercare saw me being treated almost as well as if I were a private patient.

    OH yes, there is also a thriving private sector and insurance business….

    As I am retired I was very impressed, having been a user of the service since it was started in 1948.

    Joseph Harris

  5. “you get what you pay for” paid $69 for one of your courses and found that it wasn’t worth ten dollars. I asked for a refund and got no reply. What is my bipolar lesson here? Pretty impressive if I do say so myself.

  6. RE: What John Said

    The “Buy my course” has always seemed a tad less than altruistic. And, where is the office/real person you can actually visit to look over a contract about what happens when you do not feel the “course” is worth what you paid for it?

  7. Every piece of email I receive from this Bipolar Supporter stuff starts talking about money and asking if I would pass up a doctor who costs more for someone who is incompetent but charges less.

    I am on Social Security Disability and have one of the lowest levels of income…. below federal poverty level. I have NO money!

    So I’d rather stop receiving these teaser emails if they’re just going to talk about money instead of giving any real help

  8. At a recent Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, one of the members launched into a tirade on bipolar depression, demanding that all AA memebers who are taking mood-stabilizers return their sobriety tokens and reset their sobriety dates, on account that psychiatric medication alters mood. He proceeded to verbal attack other members who have discussed their medication at meeting. He boasted of being bipolar himself and suggested that — despite being estranged from his entire family — refusing to take medication was the key to his success, though he did not provide any details on what he means by success. Apparently he is not alone. Now, at the start of the meetings, he and his cadre of anit-med crusaders make it known that medications are not part of the program. And they have successfully dissuaded several members from taking their meds. I have been ostracized for standing up and stating that none of AA memebers are in a position to impose his/her medical opinions on other members. What the heck is going on here? Please, anyone? I would love it if David Oliver would comment, but I welcome commments from anyone — regardless of his/her position.

  9. Corygordon,
    Although I can not give you these people’s definition of “success” I would like to say from my own personnal experience with alcoholics that it is the choices they made, which they also believed were “good ideas” that got them into this mess. It wasn’t the doctors who told them to drink and throw their lives, not to mention families, away. If they had such good ideas why isn’t there anyone around who cares about them any longer? As with all bipolar people, one of the most common ideals is self diagnostics, which cause them to get themselves into even more trouble in the first place! The want so much to believe that they are no different than the next person, or if they are it is the other person that is “screwed up”. But as with all idiots, not just the bipolar ones, until shot down and proven otherwise their ideas are best and the heck with anyone else. Unfortunately, this tirade will go on as long as there are “followers” boosting his ego or until he is deemed a threat to others which he obviously is. I would recommind you speak to the coordinaters to advise them of this person and how his self-diagnosis is going to cause others more problems than they already have.

  10. Can someone help me?
    My fiance stopped taking her meds swhen she found out she was pregnant with our child, within a week she was a different person. Withing two weeks she said she never wanted to see me again. Could her stopping her meds cause this and what should I do. We had a great relationship before the pregnancy.

  11. Poor Dave – a “side-show” for the neighbors! Now at least you get a feel for how we bipolars have to deal with life, either in a manic, or depressive, episode. Mild, yes, but at least, a “taste” of how others perceive us – not “normal,” but not “crazy” either. I’m sorry you had such trouble with the “cheap” snow shovel, but at least you LEARNED.

    I didn’t go “shopping” for a psychiatrist OR a therapist, or any kind of support system – it just “fell in my lap.” At the end of my rope in a clinical depression, I had heard of the Region X Community Mental Health Clinic, and that the head psychiatrist there turned out to be a psych-tech on the University ward I was on 7 years before. He dealt with my depression by treating me “chemically” – putting me on Desipramine, and within a month, I could see the “light at the end of the tunnel.”

    Well, I stuck it out with Region X, and I couldn’t have made a BETTER choice. Not only was it enormously CHEAPER than private psychiatrists (and there are a BUNCH of them in my town), but it had highly-skilled personnel, that treat their clients with due respect and knowledge. The psychiatrist I saw there for four years, eventually went into private practice, costing something like $150/hour. My psychotherapist that I’ve had for almost 30 years, was the first nurse I saw on the University ward in 1970! Region X gave me a feeling of “coming home” and has served me well for 30 years.

    It is important to keep your self-respect and self-esteem with your psychiatric service providers. Yes, they ARE cheaper than the private practitioners, but the QUALITY of the staff there is EXCELLENT. I trust ANYONE I am referred to there. With my “personal” therapist retiring next year, I still have the feeling that I will be served by the highest quality care that can be offered.

    The adage, “You get what you pay for,” doesn’t exactly fit Region X. They have a sliding scale, as well as take Medicare and Anthem. My therapist says I have the best insurance coverage she has EVER seen. And believe me, I am GRATEFUL for it – I have Federal Government Blue Cross/Blue Shield through my late husband’s pension, and couldn’t SURVIVE without it.

    I still have co-pay, but it’s so low, I can afford it. What I am UNABLE to afford very well, is the MEDICATIONS. My monthly bill comes to about $300! The clients at Region X, if they had spent any time at the State Mental Hospital, only had to pay $1/bottle; but the General Assembly voted that down three years ago! I’m very willing to give up some “luxuries” to pay for my much-needed meds, however.

    BIG HUGS to all those with bipolar disorder, and the ones who love them. My prayers are with you. Stay sane, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

  12. To DANODAVIS: In my opinion, you should get your girlfriend to see a doctor, not only for prenatal diagnosis, but to get her on psych meds that wouldn’t harm the fetus. Her drastic mood swing is a symptom of a manic episode, and should be addressed IMMEDIATELY. She may soon try to self-medicate, which would only serve to harm her AND the baby.

    If she pushes you further away because of this, get her family to intervene. A pregnant bipolar survivor needs extra-SPECIAL care during this time. Your love for her may be anathema to her at this time; remember, hormones play a part in bipolar disorder, as well as the chemical imbalance.

    Please try and get her under a doctor’s care. At this point, that’s the most important thing you can do for her AND your baby.

  13. um Dave ?
    I know it was exciting to have a “real life” example to talk about a bipolar issue, but dear Dave, oh my goodness Dave… (laffin)

    YOU were shoveling snow in sneakers !?!?!?!? I gotta ask.. did you have a hat and mitts on ?

    lolol.. ok, so i’m from Wisconsin where we do a fair amount of snow shoveling. BUT DANG Dave… shoveling snow in sneakers ????

    Perhaps the bigger lesson is in taking the time to properly prepare when tackling any chore. Instead of rushing in, taking the time to think about “am i really prepared to do this mentally, physically”

    (hugs) i still love ya Dave and bless you for all you do for us.

  14. I see your valuable lesson but what do you do when you live in Canada and you don’t get to pick and choose your own psychiatrist. Here we wait up to a year each time we are referred to a specialist. By the time you get to see one you almost feel priviledged and don’t feel you can be too picky? What do you think?
    Sue Ellen
    Nova Scotia, Canada

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