Hi, how are you? I hope you’re fine.

I was looking at greeting cards the other day, and I came across this one that made me laugh out loud: On the cover it says, “Open this card to find your birthday money.” And then on the back it says, “Gotcha!”

Because… You can’t open the card! I thought it was so funny.

But it reminded me of the saying, “Expect the unexpected.”

See, like with the card, the way it gets you is that you ASSUME something (that turns out not to be true). Well, we do that in life, too. And when it comes to bipolar disorder, it can be dangerous for your loved one.

For example, if you ASSUME that they are stable, so they will never have another bipolar episode…That episode can come unexpectedly and you won’t be prepared for it.

First of all, no matter how long your loved one has had bipolar disorder, you still need to update your knowledge of the disorder. That’s one of the biggest reasons why I post the Bipolar News on my website, and why I stress the importance of information in my daily emails all the time. There is always new information coming out on bipolar disorder. You can’t afford to fall behind.

So you need to stay informed. That’s one thing you can do.

Another thing you can do as far as expecting the unexpected is to have a plan in case your loved one DOES go into an episode. This plan should be something you develop together, when they are NOT in an episode. You might want to come up with a code word that they can say to you when they are “feeling bipolar.” Then you can determine how you will respond to it.

Here is one couple’s plan:

Their key word is “decompensating.” If she uses this word, telling him that she feels like she is decompensating, he knows to put their plan into effect. The first thing he does is determine how serious the situation is. He asks her if she’s feeling suicidal.

If she is, (especially if she has a plan for it, how she is going to do it), he calls her psychiatrist right away, and they decide whether to put her in the hospital because she is a threat to herself.

If he believes it’s a real threat, like if she’s got a plan and intends to carry it out, he may take her directly to the Emergency Room (for her own safety).

If she is not suicidal, he tries to determine if she is in a full blown bipolar episode, or just on the way to one. He can determine this by talking with her and finding out how rational she is. If she is in a full blown episode, he goes ahead and calls the psychiatrist and the doctor either adjusts her medication, or her husband takes her to the Emergency Room.

Sometimes, if your loved one is only on the way to an episode but not in one right now, or at least not a full blown episode, they can be controlled by a temporary increase in the dose of their medication, and you may not necessarily have to take them to the hospital.

This is the plan they have developed, and you can copy it and/or make one of your own. But you still have to expect the unexpected. In other words, you may think that your loved one is stable and perfectly fine, but then they may say their key word to you, and you will have to put your plan into action.

The point is to have a plan you have worked out in advance, so you know what to do.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave