Hi,
I hope you’re having a good day today.
Did you have a goal when you were younger?
Maybe it was a small goal –
Like you wanted to win the school
spelling bee or something.
Or you wanted to save up enough money
to buy something special for yourself.
Or maybe it was a big goal –
Maybe you wanted to go to college.
Or someday wanted to get married
and have a family.
Or wanted to have a good career.
But the point is, we all had goals when
we were younger.
Some of us met those goals.
But others of us met with distractions
along the way toward meeting our goals.
And distractions can cause a
disruption in our lives –
A disruption in the meeting of our
goals –
And, when it comes to bipolar disorder…
A disruption in stability.
And that’s NOT a good thing!
Here’s what I’m talking about:
One of the things I recommend in my
courses/systems is to have a routine:
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There are several reasons for having a
set routine as part of the management
of your bipolar disorder:
1. Helps you to remember to
take your medication
2. Helps you to keep a good sleep
schedule
3. Helps you to stick to a healthy
diet by eating meals at the same
time every day
4. Gives you structure to your day
5. Helps you to stay productive
6. Gives you a sense of accomplishment
at the end of the day.
Now, as part of your routine you will, of
course, go to any appointments you have
on a given day.
But if you have any distractions, they may
keep you from that appointment, and that
can disrupt the management of your bipolar
disorder, and even be dangerous for you!
For example, what if that appointment was
with your psychiatrist, who prescribes
your pills, and what if you have to reschedule,
but they don’t have another appointment
until next month?
Then, what if you run out of pills?
You’re going to have to make special
arrangements, aren’t you? Then your
whole medication schedule is going
to be off.
What if you’re distracted and have to
miss your appointment with your therapist?
You will then have to wait another week
or, if you go every two weeks, why, now
you’ll have to wait a whole MONTH
before seeing your therapist again!
And a lot can happen within a month!
If you have bipolar disorder, you just
cannot afford distractions!
Distractions can mean the difference
between stability and instability for
someone who has bipolar disorder.
Just like when we were younger and we
set goals for ourselves, so does the person
who is trying to get stable.
You should set short- and long-term goals
as well, as that would help you to be
productive, and not idle, which isn’t good
for your disorder.
But if you’re distracted, you won’t meet
your goals.
Then you might not be productive, which
can lead to depression, which can lead
to a bipolar depressive episode.
No, you need to keep your mind on the goal.
And the goal is stability.
Keep that in mind, and don’t let anything
distract you!
Know what I mean?
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Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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Post responses below
Dear Dave,
I have a father with Bipholar and he only recently turned 51. Me and brother where toddlers when he got diagnosed with the illness. We had some great times and also very bad times – depending on how my dad was doing. No being in my later twenties, talking, reading and listening – I really understand what it’s all about. I still remember praying every night that my dad be healed and the he would be the dad we knew, only to realize that it will never be the same again…..
It remains diffucult to deal with, focusing on being supportive to the rest of the family members as I am the one being strong for all of them.
My question: Why does this illness get worse(in my opinion) with ageing of the patient. My dad had a very bad year in 2008, will relapses every seconded month. Change in medication, in and out of hospital – and all the episodes manic…..
I WAS WHAT I CONSIDER NORMAL UNTIL 6 YEARS AGO MY LIFE WENT FROM FAIRY TALE TO TRAGITY WHEN MY HUSBAND WAS DIAGNOSED WITH TERMAIL COLON CANCER AND WAS GIVEN A 3% CHANCE FOR A 5 YEAR SERVIEAL.ON THAT AWFUL DAY JANUARY 20 2003 I DON’T KNOW HOW OR WHY BUT I BECAME LABLED BIPOLAR/DEPPRESED/AND ADD. MY LIFE STARTED A DOWNWARD SPIRAL AND HAS NOT STOPPED YET. I HAVE BEEN HOSPITALIZED 5 TIMES IN MENTAL INSTITUTIONS AND I STILL STRUGGLE WITH MEDICATION CHANGES ON A MONTHLY BACIS.
I STRUGGLE WITH DISTRACTIONS ALMOST EVERY DAY,EVEN HAVING TO GO TO THE STORE IS A DISTRACTION FOR ME.I CAN NEVER GO OUT ALONE BECAUSE I GET DISTRACTED AND I FORGET WHERE IM SUPPOSED TO GO UNLESS I HAVE ONE OF MY CHILDREN OR HUSBAND WITH ME.I TRY TO STICK TO A SCHEDULE BUT I FIND MYSELF WANDERING AROUND THE HOUSE NOT KNOWING WHAT IM DOING.DOES ANYONE WANT TO COMMENT OR GIVE ME SOME ADVICE? THANK YOU,KRISTIE
I am bipolar and my question is…..if I really wanted to go back to school, then how would I go about overcoming distractions that changing my regular schedule would do to me? I did two years of school and worked full time and was a mother to four and had a very unsupportive husband a couple of years ago. But I still want to go to school to become a nurse, but I am too scared to try again. Any suggestions on over coming this anxiety?
dear david. all that you jaust wrote pertained to me last week.i missed several apointments. this week i am trying to stay on top of things. i have a question . is it part of bypolar that things yuo could take emotionalynow become more less tolerable than befor. i found a support group out by me.your right it realy does help. im realy strugling today,but im going to see my docter about different meds today.tanks for listening and for being who you are.colleen boice
Talk about “distractions!” I lost a whole DAY on Monday; went to bed at 10PM Sunday night, and didn’t get out of bed until 9PM MONDAY night! Of course, I missed going on the computer and doing my work there, as well as upsetting my sleep/wake cycle, and not getting any dinner into Tuesday.
I finally called my blind-date of Sunday night, to thank him for a wonderful time. He must have thought I was demented for not contacting him before now. BUT – I have a question.
I bid “good night” to him at the restaurant, and went home. He told me when I called him this afternoon, that he had FOLLOWED me, almost to my doorstep! I did NOT, repeat NOT, invite him to my home. I would have to do a week’s cleaning before I would even THINK of inviting him in. Does this guy sound like a “nut job?” He’s 80, in perfect physical condition, and reminds me STRONGLY of my late husband, who would have been 80 this year. Just wanted your thoughts on continuing this relationship…
To DAWN: You can overcome your fear of going into nursing school by just DOING it. I was cautious when I went into mystery shopping, thinking I was waaay over my head. But – I did the first shop, not ever having done anything like it in the past – and it turned out to be sooooo easy! Just set your goal, and go for it!!
To KRISTIE: I can empathize with your depression-cycle. I have lost all my immediate family members and two husbands. There were days, MONTHS, when I’d go into a room, and forget why I was there. I had to be driven EVERYWHERE for weeks, before I felt comfortable driving myself. But – it DOES get easier. Once you’re stabilized on your meds – and you WILL be – you will look back on the depression as just part of the pattern in your life. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish you the best of luck.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
David,
Everything you said makes complete sense. My question is, What do you do when your loved one is deep into the distractions resulting in depression, and an episode. How do you come back from no meds, therapy or support for months? What does it take to get back on track?
HI KRISTIE……My heart goes out to you.
Take Care Linda x
David I tried twice to get your book ordered and both times my Internet went off and I had to reconnect to the Internet. My husband thinks the problem is on your end. Can you check on it?? It happened last time when I tried to order your book on how to make money if you are bipolar. Thank you for resending the information about this book. I will try one more time tonight or tomorrow.
Thanks for your messages and systems. I learned from you that I need to be on a schedule each day. And now I am trying to NOT go into the CRISIS mode whenever something comes up that interrupts me. I am not yelling at my husband like I was whenever he asked for some time for me to do something for him, when I was in the middle of something important to me.
This subject brought up a recent problem that was a real stresser for me……I found out that the psychiatrist that I had been seeing for 2 1/2 yrs was not on My Husband or My insurance. I had to try and find another. I did get lucky and found that my insurance ended up being better than my Husband’s (which I was using with my old psych.). I saw Her (my 1st Female psych.) this past week and I really liked her she was very good and spent a whole hour with me. My copay was alot cheaper also. And it also worked out that my therapist is also in the same office. So I saw oth in the same day (back to back). So even though I was very stressed not having a psych. it all worked out for the best….
DAVE, Here in Ireland we wouldn’t have to wait weeks to see the doctor or psych. If the usual doctor is away during your usual appointment another would stand in for him. This may not always be a good thing if you’re used to seeing a certain person who has got to know you, especially with a psych. However, it’s better than not seeing anyone for too long and the stand-in would have all your details on computer to refer to.
SUZANNE, If you’re lucky your older man friend may be a genuine old-fashioned gentleman, who wouldn’t expect to be invited to your home straight away. You can meet a great number of con-merchants on the internet though. My ex-husband tells everyone he is a successful businessman with pots of money and property. The truth is he is unemployed, with untreated bipolar, up to the eyes in debt, living in a tiny rented flat.
My boyfriend seems to be going through a similar phase to yours right now. He is a little hypomanic, with the occasional “down” day or 2, when he sleeps for 15 hours.
BETH, your loved one may need professional help. I know it’s not easy to get someone into treatment, when they believe they don’t need it. It also depends on where you live and what the law is there, if you have the authority to get them into treatment. If he is depressed it may be possible to persuade him to get psychiatric help. If he is manic and feeling invincible that is much more difficult. If the loved one is your husband or son you may be able to speak to his doctor about the situation.
Staying focussed and maintaining the stability pattern is the secret,even when agents provocoteurs do their damndest to destabilise one’s level of self esteem and one’s achievements since one has been labelled as a bipolar sufferer. David keep up the good work: Information is vital to stay abreast of anything
I have had bi- ploar for a couple of years now. I hate the mood swings and I constantly have to be doing somthing. I can’t just set and relax. I have to do puzzle books, play games on my computer, or something while I am setting down. My mind races all the time. I guess it doesn’t help when you have a mother that cuts you down all the time and tells you that I am not a good mother to my 9yr old son. I love my son very much and I do the best that I can. I have depression alot through out my day. My normal daily activites is being in bed all day when my son is at school. I have diabetic nueropathy, which keeps me pretty irratable. I am in pain constantly. Mostly my legs and my feet. I get sharp pains, like pins and needles poking my legs all the time. There are times where my legs and feet get tingely and numb. I am trying to get my disabiltiy. I have went to a hearing on January 27th. I still haven’t heard anything and my income a month is not all that great. I have help with my boyfriend and my dad. My mother like I said cuts me down and makes me feel like I am worthless. Is there a way for people to get money? I wish there was a money tree some where. I hate being broke all the time. I hope my life will get better. If anyone wants to help me out by getting out of this big depression, please do. I need something. I am getting so impatient with finding out if I am going to get my disability or not.
Well I hope everyone has better days than me. God Bless everyone and be safe!
Dear Dave
I really enjoyed your column today. I can relate somewhat, because I was in the county spelling bee for 3 years, and finished third, second, and first each year respectively. When I went to the state spelling bee, (8th grade) I was so nervous and uptight, I INTENTIONALLY misspelled words, just so I wouldn’t have to cope with the pressure any more. Years later, after I was “officially” diagnosed with a mental illness, I found myself always having trouble when I found myself “under pressure.” Hope someone out there can relate to this as well.
Hi Dave and ALL…
I just wanted to say what a difference having a ROUTINE is making for my BP.. yes I do still have erratic mood swings.. more to depression then manic.. but the eating properly AND taking medication regularly, as well as 9 hours sleep EVERY night certainly is helping me to cope with the day to day dealings of being bi-polar, an incest survivor, an unloved unwanted child (by mother),I could go on, but I wont, as I am feeling quite good today and just wanted to let You all know, I am ok, and today there is a glimpse of light..
ka kite ano 🙂