=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=
Hi,
I need to talk to you about something
that is really bothering me.
You know I get tons and tons of emails,
right? Well a lot of them are positive
ones, and they make me feel really good,
like ones that tell me how much these
emails help them, and others on how
much they have learned from my courses
and stuff like that.
Those are the emails I really like, and the
ones I’m used to, pretty much. But then
there are the emails I get that really get
me down. And I’m not a person who
likes to get down, or who gets down
easily.
But I got this email, and this woman
went on and on and on about her
problems. Now, don’t get me wrong –
it’s not that I don’t care about people’s
problems, because I wouldn’t be doing
what I’m doing if I didn’t care. You
know that, right?
But it’s just that I deal in solutions.
That’s what I write about and teach in
all my courses, how to find solutions:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
The solutions, right? Not dwelling
on the problems. Those who have
gotten my courses know that that is the
type of person I am. And so do you,
who are reading this email. I don’t
dwell in the negative – I dwell on the
positive, and I expect the people who
are around me to dwell on the positive
as well.
So I get really disappointed when they
don’t. Like this email I got the other
day where this woman just went on and
on complaining, but didn’t offer any kind
of solution to the problems she was having.
To tell you the truth, after reading that
email, I felt like I should have charged her
a consultant’s fee, like a psychiatrist would
do, just for reading (“listening to”) all her
complaints!
Now again, I don’t want hate mail for this,
or people saying I don’t care, when you
know how much I do care.
The point is, after all this positive email I
had read, this one negative email had the
power to bring me down. Why?
So I thought about it. And I talked to
Michele about it. And she told me about
this equation she used when she was
bringing up her kids:
THE 10/2 EQUATION:
Regarding negative people – If you are
a 10 and they are a 2, and you hang
around with them, you will not bring
them up to an 8, they will bring you
down to a 4.
————————————–
She used this in teaching her
children how to choose their friends
wisely. But really, can’t you see
how it can be used in dealing with
bipolar disorder as well?
Here, follow me with this, as I apply
it to the email I got. I can either
surround myself with positive people
or negative people.
Regarding the email I got, I am the 10
and she is the 2. I could try to answer
her with positive answers, and try to
bring her up to an 8, but considering
how negative her email was, most
likely that won’t work, and she will
just succeed in bringing me down to
a 4 instead.
See what she’s done already? I’m
already bummed out about it, feeling
negative, letting it upset my day to
the point that I’m writing about it on
my blog and sharing it with you.
OR…….
I can choose to stay a 10 on the
positivity scale in the 10/2 Equation.
I can let that email go. I can surround
myself with positive people. I can
stay positive and NOT let negative
people bring me down.
These are choices I can make.
People like the lady in the email are
going to be negative no matter what.
They will try to get other people to
listen to them complain, but they are
not solution-oriented. They just want
someone to buy into their negativity.
But we don’t have to do that. We are
TENS! We have a choice! We don’t
have to be brought down to 4’s if
we don’t want to! We can surround
ourselves with positive people!
Speaking of that, I’m going to the
gym and surround myself with positive
people who are taking care of their
bodies!
I’ll talk to you tomorrow!
Your friend,
Dave
P.P.S. Want your own copy of these daily bipolar
emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
P.P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
Whew, you’ll get responses on this one! I’m one of no doubt many people married to a person who is not fully stable so he’s often very negative. Luckily I’m very positive myself, but I certainly can feel how I get dragged down at times. And when he’s down and dragging at me I certainly do what I can to stay positivie, particularly including surrounding myself as much as possible with other positive people. But there’s a limit to that when you’re married.
The solution for getting negative e-mails is to leave them behind, but that won’t work for a marriage. So I’m very much into the idea of looking for further systems to give other solutions to the 10/2 equation when your spouse is on one side of it!
Thank you!!! We live in a world of negativity. I too will listen to other peoples’ woes.. and trust me… after awhile they can indeed drag you down. When that happens I try to call those who are generally more positive people and that lifts my spirits. I don’t expect everyone to feel like they’re on cloud 9 every day… but if it’s day after day after DAY of this… trust me… sometimes it’s better to concentrate on others who are more uplifting. I couldn’t agree with you more, David! Kudos
I have two questions for Dave and fellow readers.
For the supporters; If you are in a committed relationship with a bipolar survivor, either married or partnered, had you known at the beginning of your relationship that your partner had bipolar, would you have gotten involved? Please be honest.
For bipolar survivors; When you are (or were) dating, at what point and in what way do/did you introduce the fact that you have bipolar disorder?
These are tricky issues for me and I’d like some suggestions. I thank you in advance for any advice!
that is just too funny.
the “what goes around comes around ” sure applies here! LOL
10-2 is true but who you are depends on your perspective.
man I love todays letter!
good to see the funny in things
Dave,
I’m sorry but I don’t agree with you about the lady and her email! Here’s why, some women (and a few men) are talkers. Am I right so far? Well, it seems to me, psychologically speaking, this woman just wants to talk about what is bothering her. And you, as a man feel like you need to fix her! It’s not that she doesn’t want to be fixed but at the time, she just needed to be heard. Wanting to feel as reassured. She could have been experiencing an “episode”. Do you understand where I’m coming from? I am sure that she felt better after getting her “words” out.
Wow! I have never written here before but I had to after reading this blog. I am so glad you do not let people like that get you down. All that negativity could hurt those that you ARE helping. Way to let it just “roll off”! I totally agree with the 10/2 rule.
Keeping negative people around can definitely get you feeling down about yourself and/or the bipolar therefore leaving you feeling drained and not wanting to do anything or be motivated.
I was diagnosed a year ago yesterday (Feb 6th) with bipolar and generalized anxiety disorder. I am a stay at home mom (as of this past October-could not deal with the work stress any longer) and I am home most of the day by myself. I could very easily feel sorry for myself and go back to bed after I drop my daughter off to school. BUT, I don’t. I look forward to getting your emails and it does encourage me to be productive. I am even looking for a part-time job to keep me occupied during the day (and to help with those “unforeseen” expenses)…
In the short of it – Thank you for all you do and the positive engery you generate to those of us who really do want to feel good about ourselves!
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave,
I am so happy that you ended on a positive note and you know the 10/2 rule. I thought I was gonna have to come to Jersey and sit you down and straighten you up for choosing to allow this e-mailer’s 2 to bring you down to 4! We need you too much for that! But a word of caution: You have dealt with the ugly of bipolar long enough–you even dealt with it before you knew that there was a name for the unbelievable mess you were dealing with when you mom was not stable. Can you recall having those negative moments? Did you know anything BUT??!! Remember–we are all evolving. Gently steer those dear souls (the 2’s) in the right direction in love, without judging; and at the same time keep your 10 intact without blinking. We supporters deal with codependence and it rears it’s ugly head in different ways…like not being able to shake off a negative person and put it in it’s place without sharing it with another….it takes time. You, too, Dave, are evolving. Thanks for all you do. Please address the codependent truth in some of your mailings. That should be addressed weekly for all of the supporters on your list. This information, too, is solution oriented.
Love,
LaLa
Peace
Here is the deal. I used to always see a problem and think of all the reasons why that problem keeps me from doing what I want to do.
Now, I look for solutions. I will give you an example:
I applied for Social Security Disability 5 years ago. I had my “final” hearing Nov. 30. My son turned 19 January 30th of this year. Because my SSI is in limbo, still, and I no longer have a minor child, I am no longer eligible for Medicaid.
At first I slipped into old habits and panicked. Then I calmed down and started figuring out what to do.
I talked to my therapist. He is in an office that the minimum fee for someone of my income and lower is $65.00. I don’t have the money to pay that once, let alone every week. The Psychiatrist price is the same. Instead of stewing I found a solution.
My therapist is going to call me once a week. I won’t be charged and he won’t get in trouble with his office.
My bipolar meds are a bit tricky. I had a bad reaction to one and was put on another. But, because I have trouble with side effects I needed to detox for a week before starting the new med. If I should happen to need a change in medication again I could have a problem.
I set up a meeting with the financial caseworker in my Doctors office and made arrangements to get all of my medicine from the companies and little or no charge so I will not be without them.
I also set up a low-cost doctor visit schedule.
Then came your e-mail about ways to get emergency money. I totally was going to order it.
Then, I didn’t get my child support check this week. (He owes 2 years of back support, so I still have an income.)
My son can’t find employment.
Instead of getting myself all depressed and felling sorry for myself, I started brainstorming solutions. Then it hit me. When I was in college I sold my plasma. Why not now?
My son hates needles, but he really wants to move to Idaho so he is going with me this afternoon to give that a try.
I don’t know if I will be accepted because of my medications, but it is worth a try.
I am sewing crafty things and have thought about selling some of my crafts.
The point is this: I have a choice. I can feel sorry for myself and get all depressed or I can do what I can do, and know that I control my own life.
I am Bipolar. I am also a Bipolar supporter. My son is bipolar. We rely on each other, however we do NOT enable each other. It is tough sometimes, because our family members have disowned us. (Except my step-dad who is a remarkable man.) We have set up a good support system of professionals and have been working hard with a counselor to make sure we are supporting each other and not enabling.
Both of us are stable, even though we are under tremendous stress. It is a full time job to keep the bipolar in check. But it is soooo worth it.
Keep up the good work, Dave. You are an inspiration and an affirmation every day!
Thank you.
I was happy to learn this 10-2 application.
I am not bi-polar and sometimes my then husband used to try to make me feel like I am the one with BP.
He gets depressed and negative but not in a suttle way. He would just blurt out all sorts of negativity and when he would get depressed, he reacts in anger and hate, like everyone around him is responsible for his depression. he came off his medication and so I finally went through with the divorce to ensure I stand my ground.
I still have hope for him, but I’d pray from the distance that he goes back to the doctor.
He’s threatened my life several times, blaming me for what has happened to our family, so I can only now support him from a distance, by what is referred to as exercising Tough Love.
Fantastic. BP myself. Work out like a banshee, and sunshine helps tremendously. I am in an invitation only cycling class this winter, T & Th nights (2-2 1/2 hrs) and someone set my cycle and trainer up for me out of kindness, but they set it next to a pro rider and a buddy of mine that has been cycling for years that has tremendous capabilities. Well. My training turned out to be ratcheted up by about 50%. I had been sitting next to a few with great attitude and not as much to give, but I gave so much more just because of my position. I was able to que off of the cadence that the other two had and focus on form and my own cadence. I had thought I might try that Tues. night anyway, but the person setting up the bikes did me the favor of moving me to another position. I am staying right there! I am a 10! Staying there takes work…
I agree with the person that said that the “negative” emailer was just venting. We ALL have to vent at times. Can I suggest that the next time you realize that the email you are reading is going nowhere but DOWN, you quit reading it. It is not a crime. You are allowed to do that. You could even ask someone else to read it, so that you can reasure yourself that ALL emails are read. That way, both you and the writer are helped. Just a suggestion. Thanks again for everything, I look forward to your messages daily.
Thankyou for posting that e-mail I am trying to support a person that tries to bring me down to his level. When he is down to bring me down also. I almost feel guilty if I don’t. I just have days I have to get away to get my head on straight. But when you are married to the person its very difficult. Its good to see others deal with problem also. I am learning to take care of myself to stay positive.
Amen! I knew this before I met my bi-polar and now my ex-fiance, but thought it would change. Instead, it got worse. You ARE the sum of the people you surround yourself with!
David,
I like the 10/2 equation you were speaking of today. It makes alot of sense. Although I think if you can concentrate on the positive you can also remember that your purpose in writing these emails etc. is to help people and not lose focus of that. I also want to say once again that I think you are doing a great job and keep up the good work.
thanks for all these email of info to me i have a girlfriend of 11 yrs now and had a 3 yr old son together…she also has 12 yr old son…plm is what can i do to help her to move about and have the energy to do so cuz all she want to do for the past 2 month is to sleep 14 to 17 hrs a day and has a very high level of anixty … she just got out of hosp. about a month ago and been taking her med. everyday … any help or idea u ll give me i ll be very thankfull to u and if u need more info .. email me about it thanks
love all that info u send me … very informed and does help me thru the worse of my life thanks again
your friend
christopher dickey
When I was last employed I started out a 15 and was reduced to a -5! I am so glad I am not chained to the bowels of hell anymore. If you weren’t listening to negativity you were dealing with critical nit pickers. Having a positive and supportive work environment is DREAMLAND!!!
The world is a 2 to teach us how to be 10’s hopefully before we die.
I agree with your 10-2 scale as long as the person you are dealing with is constantly negative and does nothing to see the light even after you’ve tried to show it to them. I’d like to ad my own opinion on something: Just because your taking medicine for Bipolar disorder doesn’t mean it’s going to fix all of your problems for you.
You have got to take responsibility for yourself. There are ways to monitor your moodswings. Too many bipolar people go to extremes hurting people because they feel their illness will take the blame. That is not fair at all. If you really love those around you you’ll give atleast a fair warning that your not yourself today. I would know because I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 16 years ago and did nothing but hurt my loved ones and myself for many years till I decided the last time I was hospitalized (6 years ago) to take responsibility for myself and stop pitying myself that only feeds the illness more ammo. God gives everyone of us challenges to overcome while we are here. Not to be pityed for but to overcome and be better for it. I’m not perfect and I still go through my ruff patches but I’ve taught myself a different, far less damaging way to live with my disorder. If I can do it anyone who really wants to can.
Hi David….
Well, a girl I used to go out with once said,”you know, I can get 40 compliments a day, but if one person points something out like i look like I’m gaining a bit of weight or something like that, all the 40 compliments go out the window and I focus on the negative comment which ruins my whole day”…..It seems to me that people who are bipolar need a lot of attention and go out of their way to get it during downward spirals. Much to my shame, I’ve done it, and have even been aware of doing it while I’m doing it, and am wishing in the back of my head while it’s going on that I would just shut up. I think when someone is in a lot of pain, when that ache and depression settle in for a stubborn, frustrating unwelcome visit, the need to vent, the longing to be heard and understood creates pathetic behaviour that is not the norm during stable periods. For all you getting annoyed at my saying this, I know very well this does not apply to everyone, but perhaps that email that brought you down is not typical of the whining you endured, maybe it was for that woman, some people aren’t happy unless they have something to complain about. I hope she finds what she needs to manage her condition better. Don’t focus on that one negative harangue, focus on the 40 compliments, it makes much more sense……my compliments to you, your work continues to be of great help to me.
David,
regarding ur comments about negative thinkers and the complaints u receive.. all in all is a natural process. U are right in surrounding urself with positive people, but fair go on the negativity of souls who have no other outlet sometimes. Please consider that for even the most negative thinkers, they may not need a person to give them a solution, but simply be part of the solution as an active listener. For a woman to be heard no matter how negative or stupid the complaints may be, is part of the solution. Having actually put something down in txt and sent it off, is a part of the solution. Berating them for expression of what could be no other way of doing it, is not a solution but an acting out to their attention seeking. And by highlighting the complaining, has reinforced their behaviour and made the solution as per normal. I have enjoyed getting ur mails, it is a source of inspiration when I also have a mother with Bi-Polar as well as a brother and My eldest child. I as a supporter am not the best supporter at times and am negative too becoz of my own stresses. I have found , tho, that highlighting the very thing that gives attention, does not help them. It reinforces that what they think is true. Supporter means to give where u can within reason. Negativity back to a negative person is like violence begets violence. Would be good to consider a little more carefully at first , the emails u choose to answer in blog, so as not to end up panadering to this kind of reader , rather than support in a kindly way. I appreciate u get many but from outside the box here in the WWW, it doesn’t look good. Thanks for all that u do and have to say in ur busy life.
Kind regards,
Trace
I agree with a few people on this post. When you’re married to the person who is negative, it’s not too easy to get away from it! I am a very positive person, overall. I always try to look at the bright side of things. As far as my husband’s bipolar goes, I spent years trying to give myself hope by thinking things like this:”well, at least he wasn’t hospitalized” or “at least he didn’t spend ALL the money we have” “It could be alot worse” etc etc. But I think that kind of thinking becomes disfunctional, because it’s not realistic. I’ve started believing that I deserve better. That I deserve a stable life and spouse. And that I don’t deserve the emotional abuse that our family has endured becuase of my husband’s mania.
JUDY, I was married to a bipolar man, who refused to see a doctor and take any medicine. Apart from a long list of other problems we got into huge debts and lost everything. In spite of this I was going to stick by him, but he left me. I “decided” then I was only going to have a relationship with a man who was emotionally secure and financially stable. However, life (fate, karma, etc.) doesn’t always work that way.
On the first night we met my new man told me that he had bipolar disorder. Alarm bells rang very loudly in my head, especially with so many similarities to my ex-husband. The big difference between the two is that my new man accepts his condition and takes his medicine, while my ex refuses to admit anything wrong with him.
We have not made any sort of commitment yet and don’t live together. But we love and understand each other and are getting on very well. Our relationship is slowly getting stronger. If we ever get married, there is only one thing I would not share with him: a bank account! I would keep my own “rainy day fund” just in case.
Wouldn’t it be great if we could all be hypomanic ALL the time? We wouldn’t let anyone’s “2” bring us down to a 4, because we’re so “high” that we disregard the negativity, and go on about our merry business!!
We, as “10s” have the RIGHT to CHOOSE who/what will bring us down. I don’t see how you, Dave, can “hang up” on an email, but you can do the imaginary end to the email, and just forget about it.
Like you said, there are some people that thrive on bringing other people down to their level. If we just IGNORE them, maybe they will “go away!” But – all the arguments that we would spend our good time on to bring them “up,” are seldom productive.
The attitude of “this, too, shall pass,” is how you have to deal with the “2s.” Apparently, being negative is the only way they can cope. And – some people just LIKE to complain!
Personally, I try to project an optimistic attitude toward EVERYONE, that translates into “trust.” I trust anyone, until they give me a reason not to. Perhaps we could have the same feelings toward those who would try to bring us “down.”
BIG HUGS to all bipolars and the ones who love them. Stay sane, and know that God is the great Healer. Keep the faith.
To JUDY: Being a bipolar woman, and dealing with when and what to tell a new man, doesn’t really bother me. In Lithium Group, we talked about the best way to tell someone about our illness. I’ve found that honesty is the best policy.
When I was online dating, I couldn’t very well hide it. One of the guys who responded to me, had “Googled” me, and found out that my being bipolar was on the Internet under my name! Talk about being “embarrassed!” Now that the “cat is out of the bag,” so to speak, my life is an open book.
When I DID date someone from “Chemistry.com,” we got in a discussion about Britney Spears being a possible bipolar. As the subject came up, I told him that I had bipolar disorder. It didn’t seem to faze him. He did call for another date; but I only saw him twice!
I told my current boyfriend on the first date. He was so interested in it, he researched and investigated bipolar (this was BEFORE Dave’s supporter courses), so that he would know what to expect. He even went so far as to “diagnose” two of his former four wives as having bipolar personalities!
Play it by ear. If you think there MIGHT be a future with a “normal” person, I wouldn’t hide it from them. Bring it out in the open in a natural and maybe humorous way, so that it doesn’t frighten them away. And – be as “normal” as you can when you first meet them. There’s nothing like “fighting fire with fire” when you’re honest about it.
Good luck with whatever manner suits YOU. You have to recognize YOUR “comfort zone” in telling other people about the bipolar.
I am mostly an optimistic person, but I know that sometimes I leave a very long negative comment here. And I hope and Pray you (nor anyone else for that matter) read all of it and let it get you down. This is therapeutic for me because finally I have an outlet where I can say what I am feeling and others understand what I am talking about, instead of getting mad at me and doing crazy, Bi-polar stuff. I have my bad days too as well as my 2 Bi-polars, who are usually the ones that create my “Bad Days”. I don’t mean to bring anyone down and I have received a few personal responses regarding things I have said here, you know who you are and I appreciate your attention very much. And David, I know you must work your tail off with all you have going all the time. I hope and pray that you are very young and have quite a while before you burn out because, although I hate to be considered selfish or greedy, I need your emails with all the info you have provided for me in such a short time. I can only imagine how the ones who have been with you for a long time feel! So next time you get a negative email please entertain the idea that the person is ventilating too instead of trying to bring everyone down, they are expressing how they feel in an area where others can understand. I don’t mean read an email that is bashing you, you, nor anyone else, deserves that kind of battering. Hit delete and go on because I am sure you have plenty of other reading to do. Maybe someday, if you ever have time do so, pick a few days a month, at random, and tally up the negative and the positive, conduct your own satisfaction study and I think you will be very surprised at the results. I would give me great pleasure to do this for you so please email me the comments without any user names and I will do it for you. I used to be senior management in a market research firm and my strong points were coding (translating comments into simple lists) and editing, I started at the lowest point, interviewer and worked my way up until I was in charge of the whole place, which apparently was too much stress and the migraines started and stayed until I was on, and still am, Social Security disability. At that time I didn’t know I had emphysema creating more red blood cells to make up for the oxygen I wasn’t getting into my blood stream and that was a major factor helping to create the migraines too. Back to my offer: I would be more than happy to do this for you, in exchange for the free information you send me everyday. Pick a couple of days a week at random for about 4 weeks and send all emails, blogs, etc. anonymously to me and I will do it. The only request I have is to send me all the comments from one day on that day or the day after so I only have one day at a time to deal with because I am sure there are a lot of info every day. This is how much I appreciate your emails everyday. I think this would be a great way to show you how much we all appreciate you and I am willing to do it, just say go and send the stuff to me. Back in the late 90’s this kind of work would be worth about $2,000. This is how much I appreciate all the work you do.
Sorry David, I have been up since 1 AM because of my heath and I am very tired, but can’t go back to sleep yet, so I hit publish instead of edit on my last comment but all I wanted to do was to bring my offer of conducting a “Satisfaction Study” for you to the top of the blog. As I said in my previous comment, just say the word GO and send me the info, one day at a time, and I will provide a report for you based on whether negative or positive comments. I think you will be very amazed and happy by the report you will receive. So give me the info, make sure you pick different days of each week, do not remove user names, I receive a copy of all the blogs so I know the user names and I can compile information by user name, just in case they post more than once on that day. It would be a very tedious and tiresome job to figure out what date comments are posted on when that info is already, or should be, compiled by date on your PC and we really want to keep this random. We will keep the user names out of the report so people can feel comfortable posting their comments as they normally would, and then finally dump it in my email. Market Research is an area where I take pride in calling myself an expert and I still enjoy every aspect of it. To get started, right down the names of the days of the week on separate pieces of paper and pick 2 every week. That way it is a random study and will, based on the amount of responses and total number of members, I anticipate the margin of error will be +/- 4.5% at the 95% confidence level, I would need the total number of people who receive your information in order to better determine the margin of error. You will need to separate the Bi-polars from the Supporters and any other demographic info that you would like to see and have access to. I can provide a report based on the info you provide i.e.: Where the person lives, age, gender, practically any info you want and can access or we can design a survey and send it to all who are on your list, if you prefer, but that is not the best way because everyone who participates will be very positive with their comments, creating an enormous margin of error resulting in a waste of time for all involved. Anyways, just let me know and it would do me proud to do this in exchange for the info you provide to me. As I mentioned in my previous blog, in the late 90’s (when I last worked in market research) this work would cost $2,000-2,500. But I will be happy to do it for you because I am so pleased with the info you take the time to send to me everyday. Since my income is less than $1,000/month I really believe in the barter system and it would make me feel so much better to do something for you in exchange for the info you provide me. So hang in there and take care and let me about this idea of mine.
To HelenM,
Please email me at feedbacktodave@mentalhealthworld.net
Send me your phone number and I will call you.
Dave
Judy,
Sorry to say but when dating my husband i just thought he was moody!! I never ever heard of bipolar. So to your question, no i honestly did not know he was bipolar. I just thought this is a great person, but there are some really moody days he has. The more we got close i feel in love with the person and learned to hate the disorder. Not all bipolar people are ugly and mean hearted. I new he need to talk to someone about his issues, later to find out he had bipolar. Not all people know what this disorder is, it is labeled as moody, or hot temper’s ect… So I hope that kind of answers your question. I really did not know.
Dave,
Love your spirit!!! Keep what your doing. There will always be someone in life to bring us down.
I just pray that you will stand strong and keep the faith in what you beleive in. Who cares what one or two e-mails say . We cant save them all. God Bless.
Love the last little line, about going to the gym, made me smile….
Thanks you Suzanne for this funny:
Where Is the “BC” Located?
A minister’s widow, who was old-fashioned, was going camping for a week in California. She was nervous about the bathroom facilities and decided to write a letter to the campground owner. But as she was writing, she couldn’t bring herself to write “toilet.” After much thought, the widow settled on “bathroom commode,” but when she wrote the word, it still sounded too coarse. Instead, she referred to the bathroom commode as “BC” after the first page of the letter: “Does the cabin where I will be staying have its own BC? If not, where is the BC located?”
In the process of filing, the campground owner lost the first page of the letter. Without noticing, he left the remainder of the letter on the desk of his staff manager who found the letter and was baffled by the acronym. When he asked his wife what BC meant, she remembered the widow’s husband was once a famous Baptist preacher. “Oh, of course!” exclaimed the staff member. “BC stands for ‘Baptist Church!'” He immediately wrote a response to the widow’s letter:
Dear Madam,
I apologize for the delay in answering your letter, but I have the pleasure of informing you that the BC is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late.
The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now there is a fundraiser planned to buy more seats for the basement of the BC.
I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my part. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather.
If you decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time, sit with you, and introduce you to all the folks. Remember, this is a friendly community.”
Best wishes,
Ethan Smith
Campground Manager
ooooooooooo Dave, thanks so much for this one!! I found myself literally walking in circles not too long ago and actually getting dizzy !! My own chronic physical ailments are getting the better of me BECAUSE i’ve been putting TOO much effort into my bipolar daughter and slowly she’s been dragging me to her “2” end of the scale. ME ? positve ME ? noooooooooo, not possible !!! (laughing)
So going to take a few minutes to ground myself and then organize my day.. it’s noon; but there’s still a lot of today left !!! I won’t mention my car still buried from the 14″ of snow we got a couple days ago… >G< I'd actually forgotten i need to dig it out til i started out... too funny.
You know, when I first read the email, I was upset. I thought that it was kind of saying that I’m going to let the negative people stay negative and knowing that I am sometimes quite negative, I was a little mad. Then I thought about it. I am one of those enablers and can see that when I try to bring others up, I get brought down. So I agree, it is somewhat of a choice. Easier to make when you are further removed. I could choose much easier to not let it “get” to me if it was not a problem that I was close to.
Your message on “, Bipolar Disorder? Trying to Prevent A Divorce” was really something.
I most definitely could have used this a year ago and even now. I appreciate the discount but unfortunately I still can’t afford it. You do a great job and you deserve to be paid for your hard work so I encourage you to continue doing what you’re doing. Perhaps in a few months I’d be able to save enough even though it’ll be full price then. My husband had been asking for a divorce for four or five years every time we fought during his episodes, eventually I was worn out with all the verbal and physical abuse, so I gave it to him with lots of time in between to seek treatment. He did for about 2 months then he came off his meds. I filed on Jan 26 07 and April 17 08 is the final hearing in court. I never wanted a divorce but I couldn’t be subject to his outburst anymore. I had to make a decision. Now he’s seeing perhaps 2 or 3 women and still lives in our marital home with all our stuff. We have two kids and he’s intent on making them hate me. I love him, but I just can’t do it anymore and I chose to say goodbye to that part of my life.
David,
Thank you for posting the 10/2 equation story. I had so many toxic people in my life for a long time. My parents were mentally ill, my husband is mentally ill, I am mentally ill (bipolar) that I can’t take any people saying things to me that are not positive or supportive. So, slowly, I separated from some people. And, the more I did, the happier I became.
I always anticipated their negative attitudes and they made me anxious, but I never realized it. And, I was too weak to argue points with people. Who wants to do that anyway?
So now I’m very careful in my life. I take care of mind as well as my body. I place myself in the number 10 position all the time and won’t budge from it unless there is some rare special reason.
Cheers to you for not taking on your friend’s problems. He has to deal with them, not you.
Once again I want you to know how very grateful I am that you do what you do. You have really had a significant part in changing my life for the better. I am very grateful and don’t want you to stop. We need you. Dana Karson