hi— I am the main caregiver for my beautiful girl–23 y.o. who has bipolar
just wanted to let you know your emails have been a lifeline for us.You are appreciated!!! We talked with our supporters (DR,councilors,psychiatrist, pharmisist and church family) took off birth control and all psychiatric meds
for1 1/2 year and had our church praying us through it.
long story short she and her husband have a beautiful perfect daughter who will be 1 year old in two weeks. my girl is on prozac am and zyprexa pm only. breast fed 6 mo before getting meds restarted. Both mother and child doing wonderfully well. Thank you for all your advise and helpful info. You are a huge help

good morning. according to david, the statistics say 1 out of 5 bp will take their own life if they do not take their meds. it is just a huge risk to take b/c of what could happen!! that really scares me!!! i am a supporter. HEY WE ARE BOTH IN THIS TOGETHER!! i do not point fingers and say it is this one’s fault for this or that one’s fault for that. it is a very serious thing and efforts need to be made from both sides!!

you have to look at it from both ends. on the one hand, the bp individual may not take their meds. they think they feel fine and no longer have to feel the side effects. as a result, one may drink alcohol or take street drugs or both. again, sometimes, not always.

every person is different and has different personalities, strengths and weaknesses. i can only speak from my expereince with bp (an ex-girlfriend). i can not speak for everyone who has bp, because their are many different types as well as different meds to assist them with this terrible disease/disorder.

my (ex) girlfriend stopped taking her meds about six months ago and has made many changes in her life, including ending our relationship…everyone tells me to forget about her, but i can’t. i would be terrified to find out that she took her own life. she has tried many times before. she has two scares on her wrists from an attempt, and i have caught her trying to leave the house with razers in her bag, bottles of medicine etc. these kinds of things makes me sleepless. so, there are those who care very much for those who have bp and it is painful to watch you suffer as well. and no, we do not feel what you feel, nor will we ever, but it does not mean that we do not care, love and support you. this is as honest as i can be about all of this. it is very painful for us to watch someone you love very much suffer.

todd

I was diagnosed in 2007 with this disorder that has been dragging me around life since childhood. I am so relieved for the diagnoses, therapy, medication, and for this website. I read it everyday, and it has hit home in some way in my past , today, or how things could be in the future. As for ” Game of chance” I know this personally as I had people that I love tell me , You dont want to have meds run your life, it is all about choices and self control. Well I believed that thought and went off meds. I got arrested 2 times, lost my job, and wanted to end my life. I realize now how important it is to stay on my meds, have my psychiatrist check levels, see my therapist regularly, and read your website. You have a very positive tool here for people to use. Thanks

Dear : David
First of all T-y for all the info I am a stuggling canadian with mixed episodes of bi-polar. I have 2 boys one of 14 years of age and one of 7 years of age.. very saddly they do not live with me do the extent of mood swings and manic and mania deppression. My depressions are so severe. I once worked as a Registered nurse practionner as well as a phlebotomist. Although working with ppl with bi-polar in my career I like everyone else did not know anything except for what I learned by experience. The stigma is unfair. And psychiatrist should really learn more about it. The pain the guilt the sorrow and what’s worse is what I’ve said and done to ppl before i could get diagnosed properly. It took a u.s. a Doctor to figure out that no it was not post partum but in fact bi-polar. By the time I found out I had already had my children. Now i hurt watching my 14 year old stuggle I remember the feeling at that age the confusion anger and just what I thought at the time being high on life. AT the age of 8 he was put on efexor Anti depressant. and ritalin. I abruptly stoped his meds when he became a zombie. He actually wanted to die. Because he thought I was dying. No one understood what I was going through and neither did I. Now all I can do is be there for him in my mind he is deffenatly bi-poar I fear the worse. suicide or self injury as I did. But no help…Doctors say it is puberty but trust me when I tell you that for his age he is way too manic. He really does well in school that is his biggest fear. he thinks he will grow up as (mental.) as he thinks I am. He doesn’t understand anything about bi-polar when i tried to explain he blamed himself. his moods are not of puberty. He goes weeks without sleep and then does nothing but sleep. But the extent of his pain comes out in anger.
So my advice after knowing now that it is genetic I begg you ALL WOMEN AND MEN please remember how this illness has affected your life..Do you really want someone so pure and innocent to go through the same or worse?/////Please remember the risk of having children when you way the pros and cons. We all know babies are cute and we all want them but how selfish can we be?????????????? Please david keep reminding ppl with this death sentence illness on the sever impact it hason our children. One of my friends who is bi-polar just burried her 17 year old daughter do the suicidal thoughts of the illusion that ppl with bi-polar can acheive nothing.
Our children suffer far too much as they see us feeling helpless they feel they need to take charge and then it stikes them…Please I have already had to intervene in my 14 year old ‘s suicidal atempt once. Why should we conceive with the notion that they just might not inherit the illness. How many more lives do we have to lose? So many children out there have no one. Why not help one of them? The rewards are unexplainable the self worth that comes from being there for them…As a medical proffesional I urge all you mothers and fathers to keep an open mind and to be very careful if you do have children especially when you yourself are suffering somuch from the lack of information the medical society has and with such ittle help out there. My sister died of an overdose no one could understand I was so young but now I wish my as they used to call manic depressive mother would have thought twice about having children. Now 2 out of three are severly ill due to the genetic link with bi-polar. How many times as a child did I begg my mother to stop the yelling and fightng. To this day she blames me and that really hurts when all I wanted was love. And then when I was diagnosed both mom and dad disowned me for being such a shame to the family…It took me a very long time to get hep all the doctors blamed it on the post partum depression.. Still today I have to self medicate based onmy medical knowledge as for the only doctor that will see me due to my past mistakes always says well try this if it works let me know… Life should not hurt….and as unpleasant it is for all of us smetimes we have no one to talk too..Let alone that we even consider having children knowing that they will most probably be in our situation…NO doctors.. NO understanding or control over the mind races. And the feeling that society has just given up on us…Please as a mother and a health care worker remember all the good we can do when we are well. Don’t set yourself or your child to this hell…..And the reason I urge you to reconsider is because I hurt so deeply for my son and now I fear the the youngest….Here in Canada we are so short f doctors and resources for mental illnesses I don’t even have a doctor that understands when I told him onces that I felt useless and that I didn’t belong in this world and that i would rather be dead then to have to fear who will i hurt next, he simply told me (if you feel like killing yourself used you head and just dn’t do it) Let’s admit it we all wait for David to send us more help and answers. I know myself as son as I wake i’m online reading and the only good advice i get is from David Oliver. Is that really what we want for our children? Is that really they deserve?.. Thanks to David we are getting help. but only because we choose too. Please I’ve seen so much hurt and delusion from teens struggling with other illnesses let’s work together and stop the cycle. We mean well but the outcome is devestating. And dave please keep sending the emails, just kowing that someone out there understands at least I know that there is HOPE……Dave please take in consideration what you have gone through and you are very blessed t not have inherited the bi-polar…But Look how hard you work and look at what you and your family has gone through. And if by chance God does spare our children,, think twice and remember everyone of what we go through and do we really want to bring children in this world with having to deal with our problems?????????????????????

sicerly yours ….Still after 6 months I’m trying to save p for dave’s book.
I can honestly say that dave has saved my life. After ruptering both achilles with full intent of not being able to walk so it could all end i knew enough that by the time i would have been found also with 200oxys in my system I really thought I could save my husband and be done with my own hell.. BUT i was found 12 hours later. after that my husband had subscribed me to dave’s program also helping him cope.
I self inflicted so many times I’m on dissabilty I hate what nightmare i put myhusband through at times. the docors brought me back and I was nagry but the I now have hope.. THANK_YOU DAVE.

I totally agree that we must do everything we can to control the things we can control. Staying on meds, following our treatment plans, those things are crucial. The statistics quoted by Dave on successful suicides are sobering, particularly when, in addition to the successes, there are many, many more attempts that fail.
As for pregnancy, it sshould be considered seriously at any age. People at the lowest range of age and highest range face additional risks. Women over 40, for instance, are advised to have genetic testing for such conditions as Down Syndrome. Still, as our current Democratic Vice Presidential candidate chose, she accepted the risks and is dealing well with them and, as she has so elequently stated, her child is a beautiful and wonderful baby.
It is helpful to consider statistics for the possibility of bipolar disorder when there is a history of mental illness, especially of bipolar disorder, in the family. While genetics can predict a predisposition for the disorder, there are environmental factors that may figure into the picture as well though research in that area is still ongoing. In addition, bipolar disorder can skip generations, as it did in my family. My grandmother had it but, though my mother suffers from a mental illness, it is not bipolar disorder and as far as I know, noone in her generation in our family had it. It can also take different forms in different people in the same family. One child could have bipolar I while another had bipolar II or cyclothymia. However, the website does give some statistics which it may be wise to consider.
According to the website, there have only been a small group of studies vary in what they show as the risk for any one person.
In the general population, estimates vary from 1% to 4-6% of the population having one of the forms of bipolar disorder.
When one parent has bipolar disorder, the risk for each child is 15-30%.
When both parents have bipolar disorder, the risk increases to 50-75%.
The risk in siblings and fraternal twins is 15-25%.
The risk in identical twins is about 70%.
Granted, these statistics come from a very few small studies so they may not turn out to be exactly the same when more data comes in. However, there is enough evidence that, while the decision to have or not to have children is a deeply personal choice, prospective parents know a lot more than they did even a generation ago about the possible risks to offspring of their possibly having certain conditions.
If nothing else, these preliminary findings should serve as a tool, as something to consider when making the choice to become pregnant, just as with any condition or illness that has a genetic component, such as diabetes or any other illness that is known to be at least somewhat influenced by heredity.
Although as someone has pointed out earlier on this blog, it is possible, as a bipolar survivor, to come through a pregnancy and even breast feed successfully (and I wish the best for that young woman) and having a child does not automatically mean the child will have bipolar disorder, there has been a link established that sometimes it can run in families.
Many people know this and still choose to have children. If they do, they will be more aware of the possibilities and will, hopefully, recognize signs early and be able to get appropriate medical treatment if it happens.
Having bipolar disorder is serious. But it is not a death sentence. According to statistics cited on the aforementioned website, one in three people who are diagnosed with and treated for bipolar disorder can go for years or, in some cases, even the rest of their lives, without major episodes if they stay on meds, work with their doctors if med changes need to be made, and follow the other parts of their treatment plans successfully.

According to the website of the Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation (CABF) if one parent in a family has bipolar disorder,

You don’t take it seriously Bud. How do I pay for the Book etc, with paypal?

R you trying to seem cool, you don’t want to sell your little notes? Or is it you know it’s just another waste of paper, and you will be very ashmed if One reads it? Which is it Sugar? Tell………

The “medicine” ruins lives & families. That my Little friend is the purpose of it and the Worthless organsim, the pusher, yes you the psychiatrist. Do you get a cut for each FORCED sale?(perscription)?

In the US the onconolgist gets $500K for Killing a “patient” with Caemotherapy, why? There are many known Cures for the C, I am treating people now. (They all feel a lot better, no I am not giving them Happy Drugs). See as these things R Plants, and Natural minerals, there can be NO Patient, therefor NO Trillion$.

The WHOLE Sickness Trade, is as one huge Greedy organasm, It cannot get enough Money, of “Power.” ALL of there “treatments” R worse than the “desease” for if they where to repair One, they would have One less “Patient.” Bad for Business!

On there “medication” I am Scuicidal, and very pissed off, (But I can still have the dumb arse psych. let me go home, as “I am well,” then I stop the “meds.”) As I feel my Mind being further RUINED! I stop the “Meds” I get a little better, though it’s been years without this time & I am still only 1/2 what I was. Will it never come back? They, the sickness trade Fucked it, so they can fix it! All Tradespeople fix what they Fuck, or you get Compensated!!!!

Those in your trade, THE SICKNES TRADE/ DRUG TRADE will NEVER know there Arse from there Elbow, as, well they are all Vegitables, though worse still they don’t want to know. As they don’t need to know!

Why can NO American spell ARSE? They write Donkey. Dumb Donkey, Donkey Licker….. An obsession with the Donkey. Yes the poor ASS.

How to build new neural pathways, for Whole Brain function….. All that NO mere Mortal has, so they RUIN OURS! NASTY! We should do as we have done before, & take over the World.

Where do you publish my letters? I bet if I sent one like those YOU type, it wouuld deffanatly in the “feedback” list. How much do you pay per “nice” letter? One that’s good for Business?

NO Dr. will try the “meds”. Judges tell me not to answer any questions whithin 48 hours of a dose….. Yes It’s BAD Shit! Pushed on us by Worthless scum, on $9000+ per hour! How much does a person get per hour in the “War on Terror?” Should be Trillions of times above a psych.

What are you doing. There is NO help from you, telling us we are the shittest workers, were lyers, you are so condecending, unknowing….. You Know Nothing, your Mail is worthless, and no I do not Care what you do or where you go for little walkies. I used to do over 30 Miles when I was 3 to 7 years old. Walking, I could walk for Months. I still do not know how long I can go without sleep. Last time was over 2 Months, then some Opiates for a night, FINE! I get blisters, how do I ovoid these? You probably don’t go far enough to get a blister.

YOUR ALL “take your “Meds”, see your Dealer.” R they your employer? It’s all very lame, Boring,inflaming… Just as a Worthless scum swine UNMENTIONABLE PSYCHIATRIST!!!

I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN SEE ANOTHER PSYCHIATRIST, OR TAKE MORE “MEDS” FOR MY LIFE IS BEYOND DEATH. YES I WOULD BE FAR BETTER OFF DEAD. THE PSYCHIATRIST WOULD WIN IF THAT HAPPENS, SO I “LIVE.”

RATHER than talking about what YOUR day IS LIKE, AND HOW GREAT AND SUCCESSFUL YOU ARE WHY THE HELLL DON”T YOU STOP THE BULLSHIT AND GET TO THE POINT<<>
1 ST they lose the ability of functioning as they once did
2 nd have you told them that their sex drive will die?
3 rd not all meds agree with everyone… people need to have their meds changed continuously..
how are they going to afford it?
4 th I was enraged when I read your book
it was nothing but what you already have said and besides I and many do still beleive that you are just making a very good living off sick people.
IF you really wanted to help why don’t you just give them the BOOK?
seeing you are so important and have your business.
and stop telling suppoters that they need to seperate themselves from their loved ones.. These people you are talking about are very ill and all they need is just ONE MORE PERSON TO ABANDONE them….
Honestly Dave I am very greatfull that you are trying to help.. but please stop leading these people on. Start by really helping… Stop taliking about all the things you do and what your readers can do without having to pay money they need for food and housing and medical bills.

To John and Henry: I have never heard such whiners in my life. Now because someone who is helping people and make a living at it, it’s a major concern. Doesn’t your phycologists (God I hope you have one) charge you to wail off at him. I do not recall Dave ever saying bp people are shitty workers, or liars? He said in some bp episodes they lie, he said some can’t work because of the symptom’s of the disorder. It is to overwhelming. Your translation lacks in truth. I hope I don’t have to suffer reading another one of your e-mails. Why is it that people dump on someone who is giving his best efforts to help. Envy, I guess. You just haven’t had the brain power to have a lucritive business. Get some sleep, maybe you will think clearer.

Thank you for your emails. They have helped me a great deal these last few months. I can not afford to buy any of the materials altho I wished I could. My first love came back into my life last summer. I had not seen him for 26 years. He had gone off his meds and sit me down and told me he had been dealing with bipolar for the last 10 years. And that was most likely what ruined his marriage and his life. He came to me of all the women in the world….he came to me. I worry a great deal with his mental state…not being on his meds. He did talk to me “that he may have to go that route again. So he is now thinking of going that route again. I told him it had to be for him and no one else. That I thought this was the best thing for him. I promised to help him. I don’t know if I need to walk away for awhile and let him get the help he needs and to figure it all out himself or do I stand by and try and help him? I know he has thought of hurting himself many times over this past year. But he was 13 hours away. He has since moved closer….only 3 hours away….but I am so scared he will get in one of those moods again and I can’t get to him quick enough? What do I do? Please help.

Another question I have is the “love-making”. He talks about the meds he use to take interferred with that. And sometimes when we are making love it feels like his moods will swing. How do I know what is right and when it is not? I have not seen anything on this in your emails. Can the intimacy part be too much for one with bipolar?

Again thank you for all your information and time. Keep up the good work.
To all involved. Thanks in advance for anything you can help me with here.