Hi,

This is going to be to both supporters and their loved ones with bipolar disorder, and it’s about a very important topic:

TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL

You know, one of the greatest dilemmas facing a person with a mental illness and their supporter

is whether to tell other people that they (or their loved one) have a mental illness at all, and if they decide to tell, who to tell and how. And that can only come after they have learned to accept their own diagnosis, of course…Which can sometimes take a long time in itself. It can take a lot of self-confidence to overcome the fear in telling other people that you have a mental

illness.

First of all, to the person who has bipolar disorder:

The first thing you need to do is to decide if you even want to tell other people or not. This can be a very difficult decision to make. You have to take many things into consideration. First of all, you have to examine your motives in wanting to tell others that you have bipolar disorder. In other words, you have to carefully think about WHY you want them to know, as this will help you determine WHO you want to know.

Is this is selfish motive? Will it give you some relief? Is it to answer questions on other people’s parts? Has the subject come up? Will it make a difference if you tell them? Do they need to know? What if you don’t tell them? These are just some of the questions you need to ask yourself in considering whether to tell others about your bipolar disorder.

You also need to consider how they will react. For example…Think about telling your friends that you have bipolar disorder. First, you need to remember that you have no control over other people. This means that you have no control over their reaction to things, either. So there is no way to predict how they will react to the news that you have bipolar disorder. They may embrace the news, or even be relieved, if they have suspected all along that something was wrong with you. They may react with understanding and even greater friendship towards you.

However, they may distance themselves from you and, if they do, you need to be prepared for this reaction as well. If they do react this way, think about this: If someone says they are your friend, and you share something this personal and important with them and they react by distancing themselves from you, you need to ask yourself if they really were your friend to begin

with, because a real friend would stick by you no matter what, and they wouldn’t judge you.

You also need to consider whether or not you’re going to tell anyone at work whether you have bipolar disorder. You may be in a position where you feel you have to, if it affects (or has affected) your job. In that case, you might only want to tell those who are directly affected, such as the person in Human Resources, or your direct supervisor or boss. There may be a co-worker or two with whom you are particularly close who you might consider telling, in which case the same advise as telling a friend would apply, with the extra caution to consider that it could affect your job (especially if they tell other co-workers).

The people you especially need to consider telling, however, are those closest to you – your family. They have probably suspected that something is wrong with you anyway, and it would be good for them to know what, and that you are getting help for it. Especially if you are in a relationship with someone…They, more than anyone else, deserve to know that you have bipolar disorder. So you should really tell them, and then discuss how best to deal with the diagnosis.

If you are a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder… Carefully consider everything you have just read, as it can be applied to you as well. But also consider your privacy. In your case, people may not need to know that your loved one has bipolar disorder, so you may not want

to tell them, or only tell those closest to you.

On the other hand, you may want to tell people, as it might explain the bizarre behavior of your loved one, and answer some questions that other people might have about them.

The choice of whether to tell or not to tell, of course, is entirely up to you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave