Hi,
I had a discussion the other day with a friend of mine who is also a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder. The topic was accepting the disorder.
His point was that you have to accept the disorder and you can’t really do anything about it. My point was that you can accept the disorder without “laying down and playing dead.”
So who’s right?
Of course, I think I’m right. Especially because that’s what I try to teach people all the time – that you can “fight back.”
But the point is, you don’t just have to “take it lying down.” You can do certain things to “fight back”. Like, for instance, you can take care of yourself, like making sure you get enough sleep. Not just the person who has the disorder, but the supporter, too. A supporter who’s tired all the time isn’t going to be a very good supporter, are they?
It’s just as important for a supporter to be on their toes as it is for a loved one to be.
Yes, bipolar disorder is a serious disorder with serious consequences. But there are so many
things you can do to make it harder for the disorder to have control over you.
Besides getting the right amount of sleep, you can make sure you take your medications, as
prescribed, when prescribed. And the supporter’s role is to help your loved one make sure to take their medications.
You can make sure you go to all your appointments and be a participant in them. Don’t just pretend you’re listening, either, if there’s something you don’t get. If you have questions, ask them. Your doctor isn’t a mindreader! If you don’t speak up, he’ll just assume you understand what he’s saying. Why wouldn’t he, if you don’t speak up?
So it’s your responsibility to ask questions if you don’t understand something. And this is where a supporter can help. If the supporter doesn’t understand, then maybe the loved one doesn’t understand, either.
It’s a good idea to go to your appointments with a list in hand of what you want the doctor to go over with you. It saves time, because then the doctor knows exactly what you want from him.
Doctors like this. It’s kind of a “To-Do” List for the doctor, and he knows what you’re concerned
about. Then he can go down the list and nothing is forgotten, and not a lot of time is wasted, either.
And the supporter can help make the list, and you know the saying, “Two heads are better than
one.” And it’s good, too, because then some of the supporter’s concerns are addressed as well.
For example, if you have questions about medication side effects, this would be something to put on your list.
Therapy is another area where you can “fight back,” and this is a big area. Therapy helps you learn techniques that help you manage the disorder. You might even go into family therapy, where your supporter attends with you.
Or individual therapy, where you can learn stress management or other methods to manage the disorder – specific ways to fight the disorder. Again, you don’t have to “take this lying down.”
Fight back! You are stronger than the disorder!
Get educated. That’s one of the most important things you can do to manage bipolar disorder.
The more you know, the more empowered you are. If the disorder were an entity, it would be counting on the fact that you wouldn’t know more than “it” does.
But if you turn the tables on “it” and do know more, then you have the power to “outwit” it!
You will have the knowledge it takes to overpower, manage and eventually become stable and successful with bipolar disorder.
Accepting the disorder doesn’t mean that you don’t do anything about it.
To me, accepting the disorder means that you do everything that is in your power to do to make
it acceptable to you.
In the case of bipolar disorder, your goal is to become stable.
Because the ultimate acceptance leads to stability, and stability is the name of the game!
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave