Hi,

I’m going to ask you a question. A hard question, but one you need to ask yourself.

What about you?

Have you ever asked yourself that? “What about ME?”

Sometimes bipolar disorder can take over your lives to such a degree that you really can get to the point that you ask yourself that question. If you have, you need to know that it is NORMAL! You’re not alone – many supporters ask themselves that question.

Do you sometimes feel as if you have a child instead of a partner? That’s a normal feeling, too. You may sometimes wonder why you are in the relationship at all if it only means taking care of someone who is ill more times than they are not. And this may be harder on you than you thought it would be.

Maybe the bipolar disorder cast you in a role you have no desire to play, but you see no way out because there is no one else to do it if you don’t.

Maybe you’re just plain burnt out. That happens sometimes. So what about you? If you don’t

take care of yourself first, you won’t be able to take care of your loved one. Remember that.

You may be asking yourself, “What about me and what I want from life?” Well, what about

you? What do you want and need?

Now that you’ve been learning how to manage the disorder, it’s time for you to become clear

about the role you want to play in your relationship. You may feel that the bipolar disorder has taken the choice away from you. This, too, is a normal feeling.

When your loved one is in an episode, you may feel that you HAVE to play the role of the loving supporter. That you have to hold things together. But you don’t. Everything you do is a choice.

Whether it’s going to the hospital when your loved one is in an episode, helping your loved one take their medication, or putting up with constant mood swings, there is a choice. It may not be an easy choice, or you may feel like you have no choice, but it is all a choice.

If you choose to stay in a relationship where your loved one is often sick (in an episode), it’s important that you at least know who you are and why you do what you do.

Many of the people who write to me who are married to a loved one with bipolar disorder say that if they knew ahead of time what they would be getting into, they wouldn’t have married that person.

Is this you? Do you feel this way?

It’s ok if you do, because others do, but not if you let this feeling turn into a resentment against your loved one, or you stuff it and it bubbles up inside you and reflects how you feel about your loved one. You need to deal with it.

If it’s your choice to stay with your loved one, no matter what (and remember, you do have a

choice), then feeling like that is something that you just have to get over, as it will get in the way

of being a good supporter.

I know, because I am a supporter myself, that sometimes it’s just not good enough to know that

you’re not alone in your struggle against bipolar disorder – that you’re not the only one who feels

the way you do…that so much is expected of you, especially when your loved one goes into an episode, because even though you’re the one who does all the work, your loved one is probably the one who gets all the attention.

“In sickness and in health” can be hard to take when it seems sometimes that there just isn’t any

“health”! Your role gets so complicated sometimes that you wonder who you really are any more: You often have to be a financial planner, a confidant, a therapist, a nurse, a parent, a provider, a supporter, and any number of roles that maybe you didn’t sign on for.

This is a lot to ask of you. And many times it is a thankless job. And, again, if you don’t take care of yourself first, you may burn out from it.

Don’t despair if it’s wearing you out. It wears everyone out.

Again, ask yourself the tough questions: What about ME? Who am I? What do I want out of life?

Because you need to know the answers.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews546/

Here are the news headlines:

New Mobile App Helps Manage Bipolar Disorder
DO> Do you think this sounds like a great program?

The Art of Recovery
DO> Great article take a look.

Questioning Whether Bipolar Disorder Is an Illness
DO> What do you think of this?

Therapy ‘Resets’ Brain Instantly
DO> This is is a fantastic article

Bipolar Disorder Underlying Major Depression May Be Missed
DO> Great article, take a look.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews546/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting: http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What a subject, huh?

LAUGHING AT BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Before we go any further, let me tell you that I’m not talking about the kind of ha-ha let’s make a joke about the whole thing and not take it seriously kind of laughing at bipolar disorder. That’s

not what I mean.

What I’m talking about is having a sense of humor. Not just about bipolar disorder, but about life in general.

If you take life too seriously, especially if you have bipolar disorder, or are a supporter to someone with bipolar disorder, you’ll end up with an ulcer or even more serious stomach problems or stress-related problems. Really, doctors will confirm this!

Like I said, I’m NOT saying to take everything as a joke, so don’t send me any hate mail about this. I KNOW bipolar disorder is a serious disorder – remember? My mother has it, and I’ve been dealing with it my whole life. I do know how serious it is.

But if you give up your sense of humor, it will overtake your life, and everything will become stressful to you, and you won’t only suffer emotionally, you’ll suffer physically as well.

Even the Bible says, “Laughter does good like a medicine.”

I’m not saying you have to be religious to appreciate that saying. I’m just saying that even back in the old days they knew that to be true. So it would be a good thing to take to heart.

Many times, I talk about how it’s important to not be so serious all the time that the stress of the disorder takes over your life, and how it’s important to have some things that are enjoyable in your life as well.

Enjoyment, laughter, happiness – they are all important parts of management of bipolar disorder.

I’ve heard some funny sayings about bipolar disorder:

“If you like rollercoasters, you’d LOVE bipolar disorder!”

“If you have bipolar disorder, you get to play both Dr. Jekyll AND Mr. Hyde in all the school

plays!”

“Where’s my other mood? I know I had it here somewhere!”

“Well, at least it’s not TRI-polar disorder!”

“If you have bipolar disorder, you get to go shopping. A lot. A real lot. A real, real lot!”

I’m sure you can think of some yourself.

The point is that everyone – from the child laughing at a clown, to an adult laughing at

a funny saying or a joke – loves to laugh. And laughter gives us a break from stress.

There’s no doubt that bipolar disorder is stressful – both for the loved one as well as

the supporter. So any time you can get a break from that stress is a good time. You need to find enjoyment in your life anywhere that you can find it.

I usually tell people that, as a supporter, you should make it a point to take care of yourself, so that you can take care of your loved one. In doing that, I recommend that you also include times where you do things that you enjoy – like reading, hobbies, outside interests, etc. This is important. They make you feel good about yourself and your own life apart from the bipolar disorder.

Things that we can laugh at, things that we enjoy, are things that add to our lives and the enjoyment of them. So laugh at the bipolar disorder if you can, like at the funny sayings above. Here’s a case in point:

I know of a woman who, in a manic episode, bought $60 worth of make-up. When she got out of the episode, instead of getting mad at herself for doing it, she laughed, and said, “Boy, with all that make-up, I could look like a woman on the cover of Vogue!”

Of course, she was able to return the make-up and get her money back, but the point is that

she was able to inject a little humor into the situation so she didn’t stress about it. Do you see my point? There is already so much stress involved with living with bipolar disorder. If you can find anywhere to inject any humor into it, you’ll be more happy and healthy.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Have you ever thought about how things were in the beginning compared to how things are now?

I know how frustrating things can be sometimes, because I’m a supporter, too, but…

Sometimes it helps to think back to how helpless you felt back before your loved one was diagnosed and before you had any information on bipolar disorder to begin with. Then think of how much you’ve learned since then… and how much your loved one has, hopefully, also learned since then about how to manage his/her bipolar disorder. In the beginning, you knew nothing

about the disorder. All you knew was that your loved one just wasn’t “normal,” just wasn’t

“themselves.” But now you know so much more, don’t you?

Hopefully, you’ve done some research, gotten educated, read bipolar material, and at least I know you’ve been learning from these emails. Educating yourself is the main thing, as I know.

You have to learn as much as you can about the disorder in order to help your loved one.

It’s like you have this enemy that you’re fighting, and the enemy isn’t your loved one, it’s bipolar disorder. In any war, they tell you to know your enemy. in order to know your enemy, you have to know as much about your enemy as you can. So I encourage you, keep learning. Keep studying. Keep reading. Keep researching.

Never stop growing in knowledge, for the more you know, the better equipped you are to deal with the disorder and your loved one.

• Keep researching on the Internet

• Order BP Magazine or read it online

• Read books about it

• Visit your local library

• Research online articles or at your

Library periodicals section

• Go to your loved one’s bipolar

support group for f.ree literature

• Ask your loved one’s doctor for

f.ree pamphlets

Keep learning as much about bipolar disorder as you can, so you can stay in control of it instead of it in control of you and your loved one. Remember, knowledge is power! The more you know, the more in control you are. And the more you will be able to help your loved one.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews545/

Here are the news headlines:

AstraZeneca Settles Virtually all Seroquel Claims
DO> Wow, interesting, what do you think of this?

Eye Exams And Bipolar Disorder
DO> Interesting, take a look.

Antipsychotic Meds Ineffective for Combat PTSD
DO> Man this is sad I think, what do you think?

Would You Vote for a Candidate with Bipolar Disorder?
DO> Would you?

Responding To Mental Illness in Your Workforce: Leading a Culture Change
DO> Great tips

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews545/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

You know, too many people think that bipolar supporters of loved ones with bipolar disorder are weak, but I think they are some of the strongest people I know. Think about it…To watch your loved one go to hell and back when they’re in a bipolar episode…To see them feel so bad, so sad, so helpless and hopeless, and you not be able to do anything about it or to help them when they’re feeling depressed…To know that you can’t control what they do when they’re in a manic episode, to have to live with the idea that they’re out there somewhere, doing all kinds of risky

behavior, possibly leaving you in financial ruin…

That’s not weakness…That’s STRENGTH. A quiet strength. The kind of strength that other people don’t see and can’t understand. Being a supporter takes strength. Other people don’t know you or your loved one – they don’t have any idea what you go through on a day-to-day basis, so how can they judge? They can only imagine how they’d feel, so if they’re thinking you’re weak, well, it’s only because they’re looking at a mirror and that they’d be weak if they were in the same situation, so what does that say for them? They’re only thinking about how they’d feel in the same situation.

You have a quiet strength that others don’t see – it’s not a weakness. Not any more than that just because your loved one has a “hidden disorder” makes it any less of a disorder! It takes strength to hold up your head when other people are looking at you and your loved one with judgment in

their eyes, and to fight the tendency to defend yourself against that stigma. Especially when it’s coming from family and friends. They just don’t understand – they don’t have to live with bipolar disorder like you do. I’d say that THEY are the weak ones, not you!

Because it takes strength to fight this disorder on a daily basis, never knowing if your loved one is going to go into an episode or not. It takes a LOT of strength to be a supporter, as you know.

But people fear what they don’t understand, and they won’t take the time to read about bipolar disorder so that they will understand your strength in the midst of a powerful illness. So they continue to think you’re weak, when really you’re very strong. Most people only respect the strength they see reflected on the outside of a person. But the strength that you have is on the inside. That doesn’t make it any less strong, however. So give yourself credit. All the credit you deserve. Rise above the stigma, especially when it comes from family and friends. You have the stamina to maintain that strength! Both for you and your loved one. So keep up the good work! You’re much stronger than you think you are!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I wanted to tell you about a person who works for me. Her name is Michele. Now, Michele wasn’t always the stable person with bipolar disorder that she is now.

Michele used to be:

• A drug addict and alcoholic

• A terrible mother

• Married 5 times

• Couldn’t get any credit

• Had every car repossessed

• Was evicted from her house

• Was homeless

• Couldn’t have a checking account

• Couldn’t have a savings account

• Maxed out her credit cards

• Had creditors calling all the time

(until her phone was cut off)

• Went from bipolar episode to bipolar

episode with no medication

Today she is:

• Happily married

• Restored her broken relationships with

her family

• Off drugs and alcohol

• Has good relationship with her children

• Has good car

• Has beautiful home

• Has checking account

• Pays all her bills every month

• Bipolar is stable and she is on medication

• Has great job (working for me)

Michele actually even has a c.redit card from my company to make business purchases.

What makes the difference? The difference is having a plan. A system. But how do you explain about someone who suffered so much over so many years who now is married for awhile, stable,

good with money, etc.? You heard that bipolar disorder gets worse with age, right? Then why is it that so many people with the disorder who work for me, it has actually gotten BETTER with age? It seems to be the opposite of what has been predicted. It’s because they have a plan. They have systems in place.

Just because you’ve got bipolar disorder doesn’t mean you have to stay at home all the time and hide under your covers letting your supporter do everything for you!

These people who work for me have proven that. And Michele has proven that! Look where she came from, and look where she is today! Because she has a plan. She has a system.

What makes the difference? I think it is having that plan and that system. Even if you don’t have

bipolar disorder, you can still have a plan and a system. It will set you apart.

You will get more things done. You will be more productive. You will not panic when other people do. You will have less stress. You will have more money.

See what I mean? That’s what makes the difference.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I got this email:

Hi David,

I just read your email and it reminded me of me years ago. I don’t get that way anymore. I have a great psychologist. I have a new psychiatrist and I think he is a keeper. I really don’t like psychiatrists but I know if I have a good one I will be OK. I have had bipolar for 37 years. I know everything you say is true. I think it is great the work you and your staff do. I hope with

you and your staff that no one else will have to spend 37 years never knowing what tomorrow

will bring…” Sincerely, sandie

———————————————————————————————————————

Sandie was writing in response to a horrible hate mail (email) I had received, and she said some other stuff, but I just wanted you to get the gist of her email here (I didn’t want it to seem like I was bragging or anything, I wanted to get to the point of my story here).

In the email I had gotten that she wrote about, the guy had gone on and on about what a terrible

person I was and how I was ripping people off and how I was so rich off other people and I wasn’t helping anyone, etc. etc. I mean, none of that is true, of course — I’m only saying that so you can maybe understand more what Sandie is talking about.

But that’s the point of my whole email. This guy who had written me, I believe, was writing

all that stuff because he was off his medication. Only someone with bipolar disorder who is off his medication would write that kind of stuff.

See, like Sandie said…”it reminded me of me years ago. I don’t get that way anymore. I have a great psychologist.” Sandie is stable now, because she is following at least one part of the Bipolar Stability Equation – getting a (great) psychologist (or psychiatrist and/or therapist).

Without following the Bipolar Stability Equation, even the most stable person with bipolar disorder CAN go into a bipolar episode! So what happened to this man in the other email

CAN happen to your loved one, too! Remember, the most important part of the equation

is taking your medication. For that part there is no exception, no room for give or take. Taking medication for bipolar disorder is crucial to stability. So, if you take medication out of the Bipolar Stability Equation, your loved one CAN go into an episode.

The next thing is therapy. You can choose the TYPE of therapy your loved one takes, but if

they do not see a psychiatrist, psychologist (as Sandi said), therapist, or other kind of mental

health professional, they CAN go into an episode.

Your loved one should also have a good support system. Of course, they have you, but there should be other people in their support system: family, friends, coworkers (if they still have a job), other volunteer workers (if they do volunteer work), other support group members, a priest or pastor, other people in their church congregation (if they go to church), another caregiver, etc.

If not, your loved one CAN go into an episode.

They should also be taking care of themselves. This is another part of the Bipolar Stability Equation.

This includes things like eating a healthy diet, exercising, and sleeping right (8-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night).

These are the most crucial parts of the Bipolar Stability Equation. If any of these things are NOT done, your loved one’s “house of cards” will topple, and they CAN go into a bipolar episode.

However, there are also other things that make up the Bipolar Stability Equation as well, and will help to maintain your loved one’s stability.

They should also have outside activities, and do things that are productive, things that make them feel good about themselves.

One of the things I recommend is a To-Do List. They should start slow, with only a few things on the list, otherwise they will feel overwhelmed. Then they can expand the list. Getting outside and doing things keeps them from being so isolated, which is one of the key triggers to a bipolar episode, so make sure that your loved one does some outside activities as well. Send them on

some errands – this will help make them feel useful, and get them out of the house.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Have you ever thought about how things were in the beginning when your loved one was first diagnosed compared to how things are now?

I know how frustrating things can be sometimes, because I’m a supporter, too, but…

Sometimes it helps to think back to how helpless you felt back before your loved one was diagnosed and before you had any information on bipolar disorder to begin with.

Then think of how much you’ve learned since then, and how much your loved one has, hopefully, also learned since then about how to manage his/her bipolar disorder.

But think about it – In the beginning, you knew nothing about the disorder. All you knew was that your loved one just wasn’t “normal,” just wasn’t “themselves.” But now you know so much more, don’t you? Hopefully, you’ve done some research, gotten educated, read my material, and

at least I know you’ve been learning from these emails. Educating yourself is the main thing,

as I teach in my emails.

You have to learn as much as you can about the disorder in order to help your loved one. It’s like you have this enemy that you’re fighting, and the enemy isn’t your loved one, it’s bipolar disorder.

In any war, they tell you to know your enemy. In order to know your enemy, you have to know as much about your enemy as you can.

So I encourage you, keep learning. Keep studying. Keep reading. Keep researching. Never stop growing in knowledge, for the more you know, the better equipped you are to deal with the disorder and your loved one.

• Keep researching on the Internet

• Order BP Magazine or read it online

• Read books about it

• Visit your local library

• Research online articles or at your

Library periodicals section

• Go to your loved one’s bipolar

support group for f.ree literature

• Ask your loved one’s doctor for

f.ree pamphlets

Keep learning as much about bipolar disorder as you can…so you can stay in control of it instead of it in control of you and your loved one. Remember, knowledge is power! And that knowledge empowers you in the fight against bipolar disorder.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave