I wanted to address something with you.

The other day, I sent out a link for a new resource I have titled:

“Who Else Wants To Know The SHOCKING Truth About Disability And Bipolar Disorder?”

Located at:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/disability/

I received a bunch of questions frompeople basically saying in a nutshell,

“Dave, isn’t this stuff that social security will tell people?”

The answer is no.

The information in this resourceis NOT found in social security.

Even doctors don’t tell patients.

I have no idea why. It’s seriously crazy.

I think disability can be devastating to people dealing with bipolar disorder.

In my material I point out why.

I just want people to realize I am NOT exaggerating.

You’re going to learn so much that doctors and social security never tell you. Most of the time they don’t realize all of what is in my material.

Some therapists, do however. I findthat many times, therapists are morein tune with the ins and outs ofmanaging bipolar disorder on a daily basis.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know this.

If you are on disability yourself, have a loved one on it or are considering it, and want more information, please visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/disability/

Thanks and see you tomorrow morning.

Dave

Hi,

How are you?

You know what’s strange. It’s rained like every single day for weeks. It happens every afternoon.

While it was raining I was thinking of something….

I know how hard it is to be a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder, because I am one, and because I attend so many support groups, and because I talk to and hear from so many

other supporters too.

But I also know that we make mistakes, because nobody is perfect.

Like Tonya points out, who posted on my blog.

Here’s what she wrote:

“After 5 years of being a Bipolar

Supporter, I have found the

hardest thing is to differentiate

between care giver and supporter

vs. mothering and nurse maid.

Reminding someone who is

bipolar of the things they need

to do each day makes me a nag,

but not reminding them causes

repercussions that affect all our

lives. Where is the line and how

do you keep it?”

————————————————

One of the biggest mistakes a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder can make is to go from supporter to enabler.

I talk about this in my courses/systems

below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

It’s just like Tonya was asking, “Where do you draw the line?”

She’s talking about the line between caregiver and supporter vs. mothering and nursemaid.

You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve been asked this very same question.

So if you’ve been wondering it yourself, be assured that you are not alone.

Many supporters struggle with the same problem.

So now that you know what the line is, how do you keep from getting there?

Well, let’s look at Tonya’s situation.

Here’s the first clue:

She says that this has been going on for FIVE years!

She should have done something about this long before now.

You’ve heard me talk before about accepting unacceptable behavior.

That if you do this, your loved one has no reason to stop the behavior, and will keep on doing it.

That’s when you have to become a mother and nursemaid.

I mean, why should they expect any different?

If you keep doing things for them that they can do for themselves, that’s called being an enabler.

But if they get used to you doing that, then they won’t do things for themselves.

They’ll just let you keep doing these things.

Then, before you know it, you’re being like Tonya says in her post:

“Reminding them of things they need to do each day…” and feeling like you’re a nag.

After 5 years, especially, your loved one should be doing many things for themselves.

They shouldn’t need you to be nagging them at all.

So where is the line and how do you keep it?

As a supporter, you need to be the one to draw the line.

You need to tell your loved one what is acceptable behavior and what is unacceptable behavior.

You need to tell them when they are being lazy, what things they need to be doing for themselves, what you will do for them and what you won’t, etc.

Tonya also asked, once you find the line, how do you keep it?

Simple.

You set boundaries (limits), and then you stick to them. Kind of like an “If you…then I…” sort

of thing.

Do you feel like Tonya?

Do you feel more like a mother and nursemaid?

Or do you feel more like a caregiver and supporter?

If you feel more like a caregiver and supporter, what would you say to Tonya to help her out?

Hi,

How’s it going for you today?

I want to talk to you about something today.

It’s about generalizing…

And about how too many people generalize, and how it’s not good to do it.

Here’s what I’m talking about.

Like, you know I work out three times a week, because I’ve talked about it before.

And people who see me in the gym know it too, and so do other people.

Well, I do it to take care of my body and to stay in good health.

But some people at the gym think I’m trying to compete with them and trying to be like them. That’s generalizing on their part.

And other people think I’m trying to be some big famous professional body builder just because I compete non-professionally, so that’s generalizing on their part.

But as far as bipolar disorder goes…

The same thing has happened to me there, too.

Just because I have a mother who has bipolar disorder, people generalize, and think that I

have the disorder too.

Then they generalize even more, and some people think that every supporter who has a loved one who has bipolar disorder must have it themselves.

Some people generalize and think that every child of a parent with the disorder will also get

bipolar disorder (which is only sometimes true).

And some people generalize that all people with bipolar disorder are “crazy.”

This is called stigma, and is one of the things I talk about in my courses/systems. It’s one of the

things that can happen when people generalize.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Do you see how this thing can truly get out of hand?

Well, you can’t generalize about bipolar disorder either, or else…

Well, just think about it…

What if you were to just lump your loved one in with everyone else who has bipolar disorder

and generalized about them?

But the truth is that everyone who has bipolar disorder is different, so you can’t generalize

like that.

And what if you went to a support group, and one person said that their loved one was on this super great medication, and that your loved one should take it too?

If you were to generalize, you’d think that just because this medication worked for that person’s loved one, that it will work for your loved one, too, and that might even be dangerous.

Generalizing is like thinking that everyone’s bipolar disorder is the same, too.

Or that they act the same, too.

But the truth is that there are different types of bipolar disorder.

Your loved one might have one type, while someone else you know might have a different

type.

Everybody is different.

Every supporter is different.

Everyone who has bipolar disorder is different.

There are different types of bipolar disorder.

There are different medications for different people.

You just can’t generalize about all these things.

Have you ever had anyone generalize about you?

Or about your loved one?