Hi,

How is your day going? I hope well.

Today I’m going to talk about a sensitive topic for supporters of loved ones with bipolar disorder.

It has to do with LYING.

Most supporters won’t talk about it at their support groups or with family because they’re either confused by it or possibly ashamed by it. But, still, it does happen when you’re dealing with a loved one who has bipolar disorder.

It’s really hard dealing with the lying part of bipolar disorder. No one knows why a person with the disorder lies, but it happens when they’re not stable, when there are problems with their medication and/or they go off their medication, or they are in an episode.

Here’s what I’m talking about:

Say your loved one goes into an episode. They say some horrible things to you, but when they come out of the episode, they swear they never said those things to you.

Now you know they did, you truly know they did, because YOU are not the one with bipolar disorder, and you know what you heard. There is nothing wrong with your memory. You are still hurt and smarting from the horrible words that your loved one said.

You may even still feel angry and resentful, if the truth be told.

But still, your loved one swears they never said those things to you. Are they lying? Are they?

Or worse – what if they were angry or even abusive during their episode and did things to you? But now they deny that they ever did those things? Are they lying?

Here’s a true story:

There was a woman who, while she was in a manic episode, she got violent. She screamed horrible things to her husband.

She threatened him with a box cutter. She actually told him that he better not go to sleep that night, because if he did, she would slit his throat that night in his sleep. He stayed up all night.

Horrible, isn’t it?

Well, the story gets worse.

The next day, she threw herself through a plate glass door, then called the police, claiming that her husband did it and had him arrested for spousal abuse!

When her husband came home from jail, she denied any of this had ever happened! Was she lying?

I discuss lying and bipolar disorder in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But here’s part of what I teach:

When some people with bipolar disorder go into an episode, they are not aware of what they say and do.

So when they come out of the episode, and you confront them with these things, THEY ARE NOT LYING when they deny them. They really do not have any memory of saying or doing those things!

I know, it’s a harsh reality. But it’s true.

If you don’t believe me, ask your loved one’s doctor or therapist. They’ll tell you the same thing.

This is so very difficult for supporters to deal with, because you are the ones who have to go through this. Sometimes it doesn’t help to know that your loved one isn’t lying. It doesn’t help the pain, emotionally and/or physically.

You still feel hurt, angry, resentful, and other negative emotions. You are expected to forgive them, just because they don’t remember.

And what about those things they said and did to other people? How do you explain them? It’s hard, and embarrassing.

And you don’t feel it should be your responsibility to have to do the explaining. And you know what?

It’s not! One of the things your loved one should be learning in therapy is to take responsibility for their own behavior and what they do/say when they’re in an episode. That includes what they say/do to you and to other people.

Their behavior is NOT your fault! You did NOTHING to deserve it. You need to remember that.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hey,

How’s it going?

Today’s subject is about how you deserve your own happiness too, and you shouldn’t have to put it aside just because your loved one has bipolar disorder.

DON’T!

You spend a lot of time as a supporter, and one of the problems with that when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder is that you can get caught up in your loved one’s struggle with their own management of the disorder and your helping hem with it.

DON’T!

They may have a problem with their mood swings and their own happiness because of it, but you should not let this affect your own happiness, as hard as this might be, just because of being their supporter.

You should still do things that make you happy, like:

· Hobbies

· Doing things you enjoy

· Doing things that make you feel good

· Taking care of your own needs

· Going out with friends

· Going to the movies

· Reading

· Watching videos that your loved one

may not want to watch with you

· Doing things by yourself

· Going shopping

· Spending time with your own family

· Spending time away from your loved one

· Taking a break from your loved one

· Taking a mini-vacation from your loved one

· Having a job outside the home

Just being around your loved one 24/7 will not help you and your own mental health at all – you may get so caught up in their world of bipolar disorder that you might become as sick as they are! DON’T!

You have a right to your own happiness. Don’t delay that happiness! You really need to keep a life separate

from your loved one, for your own sake. You have to hold onto your own happiness!

Grab it right now!

Take some time for R and R (rest and relaxation). Even combat soldiers do that! Don’t stress yourself out by giving all your energy to your loved one – save some for yourself as well.

Giving all your time and energy to your loved one will make you stressed out and sick. And you don’t want that, do you?

DON’T!

Also, don’t try to be your loved one’s therapist. They should have their own therapist. They should be telling their therapist their problems, and not dumping them on you or taking out their problems on you, just because you are there!

Because your loved one has bipolar disorder, they may get depressed and may try to “take you down” with them when they are in that phase of their disorder. They may want to use you as a shoulder to cry on, which might steal your own happiness. Remember, don’t act like their therapist.

DON’T!

Again, you should not be their enabler, either, or that will steal your own happiness as well. You should not be doing things for them that they can do for themselves.

That’s one of the rules I’ve taught you as a supporter in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

So don’t be your loved one’s enabler, or you will be robbing yourself of your own happiness.

DON’T!

You deserve a life of your own. You deserve to be happy. You deserve an identity of your own outside your relationship with your loved one with bipolar disorder .

Don’t get so caught up in their disorder and their problems that you lose yourself in it/them.

DON’T!

Don’t delay your own happiness. Take charge of it beginning right now!

Don’t let bipolar disorder steal your happiness!

DON’T!

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

Hope you’re doing all right.

I got this shocking attack the other day sent to me.

It said:

“David- Skip here. I have followed our emails for a few months now. I am here to tell you, you need to stop making promises to people who are severely ill. You act as if bipolar disorder is not a serious disorder. You are giving false hope to many who have no hope. Shame on you. I would doubt that you even have a mother. It’s wrong of you to mislead people with bipolar two think they can be normal.”

———————————————————

This email really annoys me.

1. I don’t mislead people. I offer hope and instruction.

2. Sir, people can be normal with bipolar disorder. And what’s normal anyway? Normal just means stable. And people With bipolar disorder can become stable. Maybe YOU aren’t normal. Maybe YOU aren’t stable.

3. I do have a mother. I have to have a mother if I am real. How else would I be born, sir? Yes, my mother is very real and, in fact, works for me, because she does really exist, does really have bipolar disorder, and is really stable.

4. You obviously don’t follow my emails too closely because I say all the time bipolar disorder is a serious disorder.

5. I write materials to educate people on how important it is to be knowledgeable on how very serious this disorder really is.

6. I learned the hard way, and it sounds like you have too, sir, just how serious a disorder this is.

7. Ask any one of the many people who work for me who have bipolar disorder how serious I think the disorder is.

8. I don’t make any promises. No one should. Not about something this serious. In fact, I do the opposite. I warn people that anyone who tells you that they have a “cure” for the disorder is lying to you.

9. I give hope. I don’t give false hope, but I give hope. Because sometimes hope is all these people have. There was a point that hope was all I have, so I know how they feel. Maybe it’s you that doesn’t have any hope. If that’s true, I feel sorry for you.

10. You need to read even more of my emails. I am an honest man. I have never tried to misrepresent myself or my materials or my work. I just try to help people learn about bipolar disorder  nd to help supporters learn how to help their loved ones.

That’s all.

That’s what I teach In my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Sir, I feel sorry for you. You have certainly misunderstood me.

It’s weird to me how there are people that really want me to tell people with bipolar disorder that they are going to suffer and there is no hope for them at all. It’s very odd.

What do you think?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going? I hope you are doing great.

I have to go right away.

I have to go to my Goddaughter’s great grandmother’s funeral today.

Anyway, to read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews394

Artist faces her demons in gallery show
DO> Interesting, don’t you think?

Depression With Other Illnesses
DO> Good article.

Emotion in Beethoven and his music – psychiatry in music
DO> VERY interesting article.

Bipolar Disorder Linked To Older Fathers
DO> Something brand new you should take a look at.

New Study Finds That Add-On Therapy Improves Depressive Symptoms In Bipolar Disorder
DO> We have been saying this for years.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews394

POST RESPONSES TO THE NEWS HERE
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope you’re having a good day.

Today I want to talk about what is, for most supporters, a very difficult subject:

What happens AFTER the episode, and how do I talk to my loved one?

I’ve been asked this question so many times in emails that I thought I should address it here.

One of the most important things you’re facing is your own fear of your loved one.

You’ve been through a lot because of the episode, that’s true.

They may have seemed like a totally different person to you (even if they’ve gone through episodes before, each one is different).

This episode may even have been a violent episode, and you may have been afraid for your life (this has actually happened to more than one of the people on my list).

You may be afraid to talk to your loved one because you have to tell them things you really don’t want to have to tell them.

You may have to discuss things like:

· Finances

· D.ebts

· Bills

· Pending bankruptcy

· An affair

· Risky sexual behavior

· Gambling

· A car accident

· Problems with your relationship

· Problems with the family

· Problems with the children

· Consequences of your loved one’s

actions during the episode

· Strange phone calls

· Your loved one’s behavior

· Things your loved one said to you

· Things your loved one did to you

And the problem is that they may not even remember any/all of this!

Another problem is that you have to deal with your own feelings before you even sit down to talk with them.

Make sure you have yourself under control even before you sit down to talk with your loved one after the episode.

In my courses/systems below I talk about POST-episode discussions and how to deal with them:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

But YOU have to be together, because your loved one may not be.

They may just be coming out of the hospital, for one thing. But you still have to have the discussion.

The most important thing is that you be HONEST with them.

Be honest about your feelings.

You are probably feeling very insecure right now.

Your world has turned upside down.

If the episode involved the police, well, that was pretty scary, and you need to talk about that.

If the episode involved violence in the home, you definitely need to talk about that honestly, because you don’t want that to happen again.

If your loved one treated you in any way that you do not want to be treated again (whether something they did or something they said), you have to make this clear to them, and you have to be honest about it.

If you are NOT honest, they will never know!

So the responsibility is on YOUR shoulders to tell them everything you are thinking and feeling about them and their episode…

Everything that happened (because they may not remember it)…

What you will tolerate…

What you will NOT tolerate…

How you want to be treated…

What you want them to do…

What you DON’T want them to do…

What the both of you need to do together…

What their treatment plan is going to be…

How things are going to go from here…

How things are going to be from now on…

Now don’t get me wrong. I am NOT saying (so don’t send me any hate mail) that you should take over the relationship or anything.

I am NOT saying anything of the kind, so please don’t misunderstand me. Your loved one is in a very fragile condition right after an episode.

They are probably feeling pretty insecure themselves right after the episode.

So it’s really important that you do all of the above things with a kind, loving, supportive, and understanding attitude.

Work things out together. But be HONEST with them.

That’s the most important thing.

Otherwise, you’ll just keep your negative feelings bottled up inside you, and that will just lead to resentment, anger, and frustration that will just build from episode to episode…

And you don’t want that.

So be honest with your loved one after their episode.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

Yesterday I talked about the news and how it can be depressing when it comes to bipolar disorder.

MANY people asked if I really don’t watch it. I seriously don’t. I read the news because I can target and avoid what I call the hype and nonsense.

Okay, so on to today’s topic. I was talking to my friend the other day about how I maintain such a low body fat.

It’s because I set up rules for myself. There’s things I will do and other things I will not do. I do not drink. I don’t eat junk every day. I work out in an organized fashion and I work out often.

I have rules that I follow. These rules lead to my objectives. I have goals.

Bipolar supporters have to do the same things. you have to set goals. You have to have objectives. You have to have rules that you follow, or else!

Or else what? Or else you will stress out. Or else you will burn out. Or else you will have no energy. Or else you will give so  much to your loved one that there will be nothing left for yourself.

You have to have rules, just like I do. Just like your loved one does. No drinking or drugs. A good diet. Exercise. The right amount of sleep – no staying out late at night partying with your friends.

You have to be a good supporter. It’s so very important to your loved one’s bipolar disorder, and to your own health,  motionally and physically.

You have to have rules, and you need to stick by them. So does your loved one. But they won’t stick by theirs if they don’t see you sticking by yours. You have to set a good example.

That’s what I teach in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

That’s just part of being a good supporter.

But if you don’t take care of yourself first, how are you going to be able to take care of your loved one?

You have to stick to the bipolar rules, or else.

And when you are in good health, emotionally and physically, you have to set boundaries and rules for your loved one.

You have to make sure they are sticking to their rules as well. Especially as far as taking their medications. And they need to stick to the rules of their treatment plan.

They have to stick to the bipolar rules, or else.

Because you both want them to recover. You both want them to become stable. And you both want them NOT to have bipolar episodes, right?

Well, the way to do that is to set bipolar rules, or else!

That’s just the way it is in life, isn’t it?

There are rules in life that you have to follow. The government sets rules. You can’t just do any old thing you want to do, or you’ll get in trouble – like running traffic lights, or breaking the law in some other way.

So you obey the law. You don’t break the rules.

So don’t break the bipolar rules, either.

You don’t want your children to break the rules you set down in the family, either. You didn’t break the rules your parents set down in the household when you were growing up, or you got in trouble, right?

So don’t break the bipolar rules, either.

You don’t break society’s rules. There are certain do’s and don’ts in society. And you obey them, don’t you?

So don’t break the bipolar rules, either.

Just don’t.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going? It’s the day after Labor Day in the US. If you celebrate it, I hope you had a great day.

I wanted to tell you something I told a friend of mine who is struggling with his business and this important lesson that relates to bipolar disorder. He told me things weren’t going that well.

He then told me about how about the economy was and all these natural disasters. He talked about high oil prices. Disease. Famine. Food shortages. He even mentioned it could be the end of the world.

What does he do?

He watches the news everyday. He watches all the negative news. And he subscribes to strange publications that only report BAD NEWS. Imagine that? It’s crazy.

The news is like a scam if you ask me.

If you think that drug companies are running scams to get people on drugs they don’t need to be and this is hurting society I think the news hurts MILLIONS of people.

It causes depression — Look at the news every day and you can’t help but to get depressed.

Seriously.

It misleads you — There’s tons of good news, but they never show it. There is virtually no good news ever reported. And when given two choices between something could be bad or good, the news always picks bad. Think about it. Oil prices are falling. But before they talked how oil would go so high that everyone would be out on the streets in total poverty. They ran story after story saying almost we are running out of oil in a week and doomed.

It’s one sided, dramatic to shock you.

It blows things up. The simplest thing is generally made to seem like it’s the end of the world. Look at the most recent hurricane. They totally hyped it BIG TIME.

They take the most extreme cases.

And they leave stuff out so it’s really doom and gloom.

How about how they DON’T show people on my list that have bipolar disorder that are super smart and are working on ways to turn a car engine into one that runs on water? That’s not dramatic enough for them.

Sorry to rant and rave but I mean all this. It makes me mad.

SO…

GET RID OF THE NEWS!

Stop reading the news Stop watching the news Stop listening to the news

AND…

Read and watch things that are POSITIVE Turn away from negative stuff Ignore people that talk doom and gloom. Say “Hey I have to run.” Make something up. Walk away.

If you are helping a loved one become stable, you have already seen enough bad news. You don’t need anymore do you?

Advanced strategies –

Take all the news channels on your TV and lock them so you can’t see them unless you put a code in. This is a neat trick my friend taught me. Some cable companies allow you to block channels for kids with a code. Like adult stuff.

You can do the same thing with news channels. Call your cable company and ask how to block channels. Don’t tell them it’s for the news or they will think you are crazy or try to talk you out of it.

I do this. If you look at my TV, ALL the news channels are blocked. ALL of them.I do follow the news but I only read the news. I am careful to skip the parts I feel are lies, and hype. I find papers like the Wall Street Journal have real news that I can use.

Subscribe to stuff that brings good news. There’s tons of it. Go to the book store and look around and you’ll find it.

And, believe it or not, if you look for it, there is actually a newspaper that is filled with only GOOD NEWS!

When are you are dealing with bipolar disorder you need to be as positive as possible. There’s already a lot of bad stuff with bipolar disorder. You don’t need to hear or see any more bad news.

If there is a disaster somewhere, you probably can’t help 99% of the time and you are working on preventing your own disaster with you or your loved one.

You probably think that I have lost it or I am out of my mind. I am not.

In my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

I teach that having the right positive attitude is CRITICAL when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder .

Well, it’s critical when you’re NOT the one with bipolar disorder, too. Even if you’re a supporter, it’s critical to have a positive attitude.

Hey one more thing. If you don’t believe me, how come whenever bipolar disorder is mentioned it’s about either a murder or a suicide.

Do you think that everything that someone does every day with bipolar disorder is connected to a murder or suicide? Of course not, but the news wants to shock you.

That’s what the news does – only report the negative stuff.

Think I am out of my mind?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.