When You Mess Up This Part of Bipolar

Hi,

I’ve been thinking about something I want to talk to you about. Cause you know how I get so many calls and emails about certain subjects, right? And a lot of times that’s where I get my

topics for my daily emails. So that’s where I got the topic for today’s email.

So many people have talked to me about messing something up with their treatment plan. Then they don’t know what to do, so many of them just keep messing up.

One example is getting off their medications, which, I’ll tell you right now is NOT the right thing to do! Or they stop seeing their therapist, and again, that is NOT the right thing to do. Or they start skipping appointments with their other medical professionals, and again – NOT the right thing to do. They might have started an exercise program but not exercised in awhile because they’re not sticking to their treatment plan. Same thing with eating healthy. They may have started on a diet, decided to eat healthy, but just didn’t stick with it, so they messed up that part of their treatment plan.

I want to talk about what happens when you do start to mess up some of the parts of your treatment plan, and what you should do. It’s easy, like I just did above, to talk about what you shouldn’t do! So that part is easy. And in most cases, just do the opposite of that.

So for instance, what should you do if you’ve messed up your medication? You need to start

taking it again, but here’s the problem. You can’t just start where you were, because depending

on how long you were off it, you may need to build back up to that. So in that case, you need to go back to your psychiatrist and have him help you get back to where you were.

If you’ve messed up with your therapist, just make a new appointment, and start going regularly. If they accept you back as a patient, then all is forgiven. If they reject you, you will just have to start over with another therapist. And that’s ok, you can do that. Don’t let that get you down.

Just don’t let any more time lapse before finding another therapist, because you really do need to

be in therapy.

But now let’s say you’ve begun isolating again. Here’s where it gets tricky. People with bipolar

disorder are very good at isolating. It’s one of the top indicators for having bipolar disorder and one of the top triggers for a bipolar episode.

Supporters who have loved ones with bipolar disorder watch for this trigger in their loved one.

But if the person with bipolar disorder has let this slip, has started isolating again, then they are in a dangerous place – they have obviously let part of their treatment plan get out of control.

Now they have two choices when confronted with this by their supporter: they can close down, shut out the world, get all depressed, climb into bed, pull the covers over their head, feel sorry for themselves, cry, and go into a depressive episode… OR…they can accept that even tho they let a PART of their treatment plan get out of control, that the WHOLE treatment plan is still working, and they can still fix it!

If they are lucky enough to have a supporter who is still sticking by them through this, then they can both work on the problem together.

First you identify what went wrong. Then you can fix it. It doesn’t have to be something all dramatic and such. It can be something as small as just not sleeping right. But once it’s identified, you can work on it. And it doesn’t have to be so overwhelming that it drives

your loved one to their bed – it only has to be faced One Day at a Time.

Just today. Only today. Work on your treatment plan the best that you can only one day at a time. Just do the best that you can. That’s all anybody is expecting you to do. Nobody is expecting you to be perfect. And they are certainly not expecting you to be perfect overnight!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

  1. Hi Dave,
    I think you are accurate on everything you had written but when I had a bipolar episode I went the other direction. I became extremely manic, paranoid, wanted to be around people and needed excitement. That is when I had to go back on my medicine on a daily schedule, return to a therapist and psychiatrist. I have a brother and a close friend that becomes depress and wanting to isolate when they discontinue their treatment plan. So I guess it depends on the individual.

  2. David
    This is my 1st response to your Emails
    Thank you for them, I recently discovered that my bi polar diagnosis may have been incorrect as it was brougtht about by a suicide attempt in 2004
    at the time I was suffering a herniated disk and was
    on 3 medications…1 Ultram 2 Ambien 3 celebrex and was given steroid injections to combat the disk problem
    I have since discovered that at least 2 of these medication have been found to cause suicidal thoughts
    and actions,,and may hve been the underlying reason
    for the attempt…they put me on depacote and I still
    had the thoughts plus involutary movements in the hands
    I gradually got off medication in Feb 2010 with no ill
    effects. I recently got a side effect print out on depacote fromthe phamacy 4-5 pages long with one side
    effect suicidal thoughts and actions why would you be put on a medication to keep you safe and the side effect be just as bad or worse!!!
    best wishes
    Lea Williams

  3. I swear Dave, ive been signed on to your mailing list for years, through the rough times and the good. I’ve had alot of success with my bipolar disorder, but like any sufferer, when i start neglecting my wellness i get into trouble. Your emails are always right on point, and even if they don’t apply to my current state, I always nod my head and say: “this guy gets it”. Your efforts deserve reward. Thank you, I’m sure your words are helping someone right now. Please keep it up.
    Nathaniel

  4. sounds great. It helps to southe my self image when I goof up and even people who know me , but havn’t realized or know I am bi-polar change there positive opion of me. I was on a three week “HIGH” and said and did some strange things and am now living them down. Its heart breaking to me as I sometimes try so hard to remain ” normal” then to goof-up again. I’m thankful for your website. It has given me confidence to try, try, try, again. Gods richest blessing on you. mary

  5. Dear David,
    I am thankful for this site and for all of the information imparted to my family.My son, 48, who lives with me is on a rx regime that has given him a stability he’s not known for years.His last drink was 3 years ago and he went into a cycle that lasted almost one year.The years previous to that were a nightmare for him as well as family,friends,neighbors.However he remains isolated from everyone.Believes I am poisoning the food and subsequently throws things out.If I take him to the store he swears that people have touched him and thus poisoned him.Only after an hour and much complaint that he is poisoned does he settle down because “the poison has not killed me” His psychiatrist tells me that in another time he would be locked away in an institution for life.He lashes out in anger at me calling me names in the most benign situations.I have been involved in Al-Anon for over 40 years and use the principles in my daily life.I get so sad at this since I decided to let him live with me and in the past he has taken care of me when I was seriously ill.
    Is this as good as it gets? His Dr. is pleased with his recovery and says all people who live together have problems.I love him dearly and want the best for both of us.Any suggestions.
    Warmest regards,
    Sharon

  6. Dear Dave and all bloggers,
    My name is Lynn, and I’m a recovering alcoholic, and live w/Bipolar II every day. The ‘Big Big Book’ speaks of living ODAAT, and thankfully, A.A. also teaches this, that one day @ a time is really the ONLY way to live and live happily. I do appreciate the posts, and always read them. Must admit I don’t do blogs, but I do read all the posts. Thanks for letting me share.
    Lynn S.
    keepin’ it simple

  7. dear david,I myself have bipolar and two young children,i hate them seeing me when i am not doing so well,it is hard to fake it.i am in the middle of a set back.now starting something new so i don’t hit the bottom again VERY HARD!will this pain everend…..

  8. Again this email must have been written to me. My loved one is messing with everything. He is manipulating his meds, refusing to keep up with his appointments, as “God’s special ambassador to the world does not need any help.” The doctors and psychs are “not helping, but sent by the devil to stop his mission to save the world.” He is in a big bad episode. I have a variety of other problems to sort out in my life at the moment. I promised to stand by him. He knows I love him and care about him and I am the only one who listens to him. I just spent the last 24 hours listening to him talking /shouting at the speed of light, getting very little to eat, no sleep and no rest. 3 years ago he went through exactly the same (though slower) and ended up in the psych ward for 6 weeks. He is beginning to look very ill now. As we don’t live together, I have no authority to get him professional help. I promised I would always be there for him. Unfortunately the first weekend in March I will have to go away for a few days to some family obligations, which can’t be postponed. I’m not sure right now if I am giving him the support he needs or just enabling him. Any advice would be appreciated.

  9. To Nightlady – I’ve watched the rapid progression of your gentleman friend’s deterioration into “madnsss,” with great trepidation. You are a special woman to want to help/protect your boyfriend from his demons – but, unfortunately, if he is unwilling to help himself – or seek help – the end of this story will not be pretty. When I went through my 3 manic episodes half a century ago, I had NO ONE to care that I could count on. The very BEST you can do for him is to notify his health care provider(s) of the situation and perform an intervetion. I know full well how euphoric and GRAND a manic episode can FEEL, as does your boyfriend, and he won’t give up easily…its mesmerizing effect on the consciousness outdoes any man-made drug, believe me. I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpfull. As you are going away during some of this episode – which is GOOD for you, BAD for him – perhaps distancing yourself, an answer will come to you…good luck, and godspeed.

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I continue to pray for my country.

  10. I enjoy reading your emails for it helps me to be a better supporter for my teenage daughter. The past year has been a challenge as they are trying to find the best treatment plan for her. Now they think she has Aspergers in commorodity with BiPolar I. She does everything she is told and there has been improvements but we still struggle with anger and aggression.

  11. Thanks for your help, Suzanne. The health authorities already know. Several times a nurse or someone has tried to speak to him, but he won’t let them in. He feels they are “out to get him,” so he has run away again. He phoned me this evening, didn’t want to tell me where he was as he was sure that his phone was bugged! But he promised to call me every day to let me know he was ok. He said when he comes home he wants to marry me. I know that sadly this is also the bipolar demon talking. Unfortunately the real man does not want to get married, and on paper he is still married. I am divorced. He said he was going to buy me a wedding dress. That’s a first, normally the man is not supposed to see the wedding dress before the wedding. I would marry him for real (if he really wanted to) provided he would once and for all follow a proper treatment plan. All I can do now is wait and see what develops. When he doesn’t phone me and I can’t get through to him I will get worried. I see all his friends and neighbours around town, except the one I would like to see. He also has bipolar, and provided he is not in an episode himself right now, he is the one who could really get through to him and help him.

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