Hi,
I hope you’re doing well today.
You know the old saying about a “chip on your shoulder” and about someone having one?
Well, first let’s talk about what it means before we talk about someone having one or not, ok?
So what do we mean when we say that someone has a chip on their shoulder?
We mean that they have something bothering them that never goes away.
This can even lead to a bad attitude that other people can see, if they’re not careful.
The point is that it’s something that they carry around with them.
Something that they still haven’t worked out. A burden, you could say.
Like a trigger to a bipolar episode, that lays beneath the surface until it’s aggravated, and then it goes off.
That’s the bipolar chip!
See, there are some people who have bipolar disorder that walk around with a bipolar chip on their shoulder.
Who have let the disorder become a burden to them.
Who may even walk around with a bad attitude, or a victim mentality because of the bipolar chip on their shoulder.
But you see, you don’t HAVE to walk around with a chip on your shoulder, especially a bipolar
chip!
If you have bipolar disorder, and you have read my courses, you know that you should have a support system, and a good support system is there to help you, to keep that bipolar chip OFF your shoulder!
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Having someone help you, like a good supporter, will help to make your burdens lighter, and will help keep you from having a bipolar chip on your shoulder.
Then your burden is lighter, and you can concentrate on the things you should be concerned about – like managing your disorder!
If someone with bipolar disorder carries this bipolar chip on their shoulder, it’s easier for other people to tell that they have the disorder.
Why?
Well, think about any person who carries a chip on their shoulder.
They might show physical signs of it.
They might hang their head.
They might be easily angered, or even fight a lot.
Or they might show signs in their face, or have a bad attitude.
They might even talk about it, or complain all the time.
Well, it would be the same thing if someone carried the bipolar chip on their shoulder, wouldn’t it?
Someone with bipolar disorder who does NOT have the bipolar chip on their shoulder is one of those who it’s harder to tell that they even have the disorder.
They would be spending more time managing their disorder than they would complaining about it.
They wouldn’t be hanging their head (in shame).
They wouldn’t have a bad attitude.
And instead of fighting others, they would be fighting the disorder.
Some people who have a chip on their shoulder put a lot of effort into getting that chip off their shoulder.
Some people who have a burden spend a lot of energy getting rid of that burden.
Like these days, many people have financial burdens, because we’re in a recession.
Even though so many people complain about it because they might have a financial chip on their shoulders, other people spend their time getting that chip OFF their shoulders!
They do things proactively to make things better for themselves.
Well, that’s what a proactive person with bipolar disorder would do!
They would spend their time making things better for themselves…
And getting that bipolar chip OFF their shoulders!
Do YOU have a bipolar chip on your shoulders?
What are you doing to get rid of it?
If you have gotten rid of it, how did you do it?
Post responses below
Thanks for all your insightful articles Dave.
One question – why do you write each sentence on a separate line?? Its really difficult and disrupting to read it that way, it doesnt flow. It would read better broken into paragraphs..
Thanks
Greetings~*
My name is Kira and just found your old website. I am wondering how and when I may receive the free bipolar info. My mother is bi polar and I am 16. I’ve been gaining info/. But none useful personaly to me.
Kira~*
My boyfriend does not just have a chip, right now he has the whole world on his shoulders and everyone can see it. They’re all saying “What’s up with him?” “He doesn’t look well.” etc. etc. He is in denial about everything and tells the doctors that he is ok. He told me yesterday that he has been getting a pain in his chest plus very bad IBS for 2 months! No wonder he looks ill and doesn’t want to do anything. It’s usually stress that causes symptoms like IBS and chest pain. He used to tell me everything and I was often able to help. Recently he wants to suffer on his own. What can I do? As far as I know he is still taking his meds, but he should tell the psych about the other problems and maybe the doc as well. It seems right now he wants to be a martyr. I am very worried.
An interesting article. I used to have a huge bipolar chip on my shoulder. This was made worse by my own perception of myself as flawed. I had episodes every year for many years and as a result my family saw me as needing constant care/and a big burden on their lives… The huge amount of extra attention my mother gave me as a result caused a great deal of jealousy amounst my siblings. The episodes also eroded the trust of my family.
What changed?
Well, I found a medication that actually works… Seroquel. I can feel it bring my brain back to order in a matter of hours. Just as importantly my beautiful, loving husband has also done wonders for my self esteem. He loves me for who I am and he doesn’t see me as flawed. He sees me as intelligent, beautiful (inside and out) trust worthy, reliable and fun to be with. These are qualities that are really important to me and have often been brought into question when the disorder rears its ugly head.
My husband sees the disorder as a separate thing to who I am. He is able to make the distinction. This has been life changing for me as now I don’t seem myself as ‘Bipolar’. I see myself as a valuable person with great qualities who mangages ‘Bipolar disorder’.
Dear David,
I am totally new to this site, but can truly relate to everyone on. I have been searching for help, a support group in my community, but found your site. It has been very beneficial reading the comments for the last couple of days. I too, am living with my husband who has been diagnosed bipolar, manic depressive, but refuses to accept it. I have spent years trying to find the help we, yes we, both need. Couseling, Dr.’s, etc., only for my husband to run everytime, the many Dr.s & counselors tell him they want to work on him, and help him, not me. I have been through years of therapy, which was good, but went because I’ve always been told, by dysfunctional, sick, people, that I’m the CRAZY ONE, and I need help. Well, the therapy has helped me to learn to live, or not, with diseases, such as BP, Alcohlism, drug addictions, abuse, etc. My husband has been known to ’self medicate’ with crystal meth, alcohol, gambeling, etc. It scares the crap out of me. We have lost a lot of money with his gambling, stock market, etc. I have spent so many years with him, and my previous husband, watching them,doing the drugs, alcohol, ect., but this BP thing is new to me, even though I’ve lived with him for 10+ years. I’m not sure what I’m truly living with, and not sure what I’m supposed to ‘excuse’? Because of his addictions too. The lies, the grandiose behavior, the verbal abuse, mental abuse, and a few times in his manic anger phases, I too, have gotten physically hurt. I watch him 24/7 lay in bed, no and watch TV, sleep, and play video slots, no shower, then out of the blue he gets around certain ‘known drug addicts’, and he’s up for several days 24/7. Then turns around and crashes again. When I ask him or confront him, he blows up and becomes verbally abusive, ignores me for days, blames me for his ‘rotten lot in life’, then the cycle starts again. I do love him with all of my heart, but I wonder sometimes if I’m just doing my vow of ‘in sickness and health’, or being codependant or what? I’ve also been in Alanon for 23+ years. I too, have had to go on antidepressants for the last few years, because I feel like I’m drowning. People in my life, my mom, gpa, etc., dying, and I feel like I’m watching my husband die too. Not sure how much ‘HELP’ I’m supposed to be giving him? Or should I just get out? I’m not doing very well! Very confused,scared, and lonely. The latest episode was a few days ago, and I’m always left feeling very INSANE. So I’m really appreciating this site, and the support. Thanks! SOS
#26 Written By Carla on August 16th, 2009 @ 2:20 pm Your comment is awaiting moderation.
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