Hi,

One of the first things parents teach their children is to get along. Unfortunately, that isn’t always such an easy thing to do. A mother might be tending to something in the kitchen, only to hear a scream of “Mine, mine, mine!” piercing through the air. Then she has to go into the other room and become a referee to her two children involved in an argument over a toy. Even as they become older, arguments seem to become an inevitable part of life. Magazines are constantly writing articles on relationships and how to communicate more effectively. But they don’t seem to give advice on how to argue more effectively, do they? Well…If arguing is inevitable, then I ask you, why not give advice on how to argue more effectively? That’s what I want to talk about today.

Because anger and rage are very common problems when you’re dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder. And because of this, it’s only reasonable to conclude that arguments are going to crop up because of that. And you can probably attest to that, right? Some of your arguments have probably been pretty bad, too, haven’t they? The problem is that sometimes they seem to pop up out of nowhere. And sometimes you can’t even seem to figure out what started them! That makes it hard to figure out how to stop them, either. So the best thing you can do is try to figure out how to handle these arguments when they do occur.

I want to tell you about a surprising way to argue with your loved one. Tell them that they’re right. That’s right – Simply say, “You’re right.” That’s one of the quickest ways to end an argument with your loved one. I’ll tell you why: Because sometimes…A person with bipolar disorder in a manic episode will get an idea into their head, wrong or right…But they will believe that they are right. And they will keep going with this idea no matter what it takes until you admit that they’re right. So the sooner you do it (even if they’re not right)…The sooner the argument will be over with. But here’s the thing: Sometimes it could even be about the most trivial thing! But still they have to be right! It’s a pride thing. So, in this case, you have to swallow yours…And let them be right. Yes, even if they’re not. You have to be the better man.

Notice I said “let them be right.” Chances are that they’re not going to be right. Chances are that you are actually the one who is going to be right in this case. But that’s going to have to be enough for you. Just to know that you are actually right, I mean. And somehow you’re going to have to be able to say, “You’re right” to your loved one and seem like you mean it anyway. That’s if you want to stop the argument.

It may seem like a hard thing to do…Especially if you know that you are really right. And you may not want to do it. You may even resent having to do it. But ask yourself: Would you rather do this…Or keep arguing? Because your loved one will just keep on arguing for as long as it takes until you do say it. Remember…They are not thinking rationally. But you are. You must do it, for the sake of peace.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave