Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.
There was a news story that I was following the other day. It said that in the city of San Diego,
California, some shops were posting stickers in their windows that read “Don’t Feed Our Bums.” The news report was asking for opinions on whether this was cruel or a good way to handle a legitimate concern.
They got many answers that went both ways. One in particular struck me: A man saying that no one should ever help homeless people because one of them threw rocks at him. I’ve seen people who weren’t homeless act just as cruel. Does that mean that every homeless person is that way? Of course not!
There was another comment that was left that astounded me, also, but not in a bad way this time. A woman was talking about how she had become homeless because of a series of events that she couldn’t control. She mentioned that she had never pan-handled the entire time she was homeless. Instead, she stayed in shelters where she worked to earn her stay and food.
She went to school while she was homeless, and eventually got a job and managed to get a place of her own again. But she made a very valid point: Not everyone who is homeless is there because they want to be, or because it is their fault.
Here’s another point for you to consider: Many people who are homeless are so because of unmanaged mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Now, many of you have probably heard that many people with schizophrenia become homeless, but did you know the same is true with bipolar?
I knew a girl once who repetitively became homeless for short periods of time, mostly because her mood swings made it impossible for her to stay in one place for very long. Not to mention she would burn bridges to relationships that could have helped her. She had bipolar disorder, and, for at least one period of time, ended up in a homeless shelter.
To this day, she still does not live on her own, but by following her treatment plan and learning new skills and strategies for coping, she now makes a much better roommate than she ever did before.
Usually when a person who has bipolar disorder becomes homeless, they were not on their medications. Or maybe they were taking their medications, but not reporting to their psychiatrist that the medications weren’t working for them.
Sometimes it happens because of money. When manic, they might spend everything that they had for rent, and next thing you know, they’ve been evicted. Sometimes it happens because of relationship problems. This is especially true in roommate situations, or when living with family.
How many times does a person who has bipolar disorder – and is not following their treatment plan – mess up their relationships? Sometimes it is fixable, sometimes not. Sometimes it is enough that if the person was providing them housing, they decide that they can no longer do so for them.
Can you see how any of these different factors could lead to homelessness? So yes, I would say that those stickers, and any attitude towards the homeless that is all-inclusive, is cruel. Not all homeless people act the same way, and it’s a shame if a select few ruin it for the rest of them.
It is a personal choice if someone chooses to help them, and on what level. But at the very least, we need to understand that our loved ones could easily be there. Doesn’t that make you want to go give them a hug and be glad that they’re not?
What are your thoughts on this?
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
Hi Dave, Im Tammy and I suffer from Bipolar type 2 and I agree with you on this 100%!! I feel that not all of the homeless are not out here in this world to just get free food, money,etc from people!! They really need help from others, they dont have nothing and no one at all in their lives, no family at all to go to for help! No one to love them or to support them, like I do! This is a very hard Disease , I should know!!! It gets very very hard for me at times, and i live with my 10 yr old daughter and her father, and thye can tell you Im not the easiest person to live with sometimes, but they love me and support me 100%. I hope that we can all give these people the love and support that they need in their lives to maybe turn their lives around for the better. What could I do to help you and I have a friend whos youg son has Bipolar too, she would love to help also. We live in the chesterfield, Va area. Thanks !! Tammy Foster
This is so true. Our son has bipolar and when off his meds threatens to leave and he would become homeless. Thank you for your informative comments.
My brother is bi polar. Well, he ticks all of the boxes but refuses any help. Refuses to even consider that anything is wrong. He owns a house that he supposedly rents out. In reality it is left to wreck and ruin and a dosshouse for anyone that wants to use it. My brother has spent just over a quarter of a million pounds (compensation for an industrial accident) in little over two years. He now says (I find out through other concerned friends as he will not speak or have anything to do with me, believing that I want to lock him away and ‘get his stuff’) that he plans to sell the house as he has no money left. This is my worst fear. He will have nowhere to go then. He will be a homeless, unkempt and drunk. He has recently suffered a severe beating. Just one week ago a known alcoholic and nasty piece of work attacked him, in daylight and in front of many witnesses and cctv cameras. My brother spent one night in hospital and discharged himself with fractured skull, broken ribs, black eyes, broken nose, severe lacerations to the back of his head. I visited him in hospital, taking pyjamas, slippers, underwear, towels, toiletries etc and beggged him to stay and ‘have a rest, get well’ I made sure he had my telephone number and I got his. I have tried ringing but he rejects my calls. I fear for his safety so very much. Our gp says there is nothing he can do until he asks for help or becomes a dangr to himself or others. I despair.
Homeless people are beautiful people and a gift from God. I’ve met a few homeless people in the last two years which were in that situation because of mental illness, drug addictions, loss of job and other reasons. However, even though they are in that position were suppose to welcome them in our homes and feed them. Jesus wants us to love them and tell them that He loves and feel their pain.
The frustrating thing about this disease is that you can be doing all the right things and still the depression comes. Bummer.
I wholeheartly agree with your article on “bipolar”. I have in the past worked with and kept a person in my home for short periods of time that fit the description you talked about. She is still homeless and living in a shelter after 5 years.
On a daily basis I work with homeless women and their children in a Transitional Living Center in Florida. Those that take their meds. do well, those that refuse continue to be ‘undesirable’ with an attitude.
You know your article would make perfect sense in a perfect world if my schizophrenic,bipolar loved one stayed on his Medication.And all would be well if….
1)He would be the one to leave
2)He would accept that he needs help
3)I had loving parents to run to or..
4)I would finally smarten up and not spend all my money on him trying to alleviate his pain and then when he has violent episodes I have no where to go and am the homeless one.Yes I am happy he isn’t there but whose going to support this supporter?
I think that was so cruel! First of all not all homeless people are bums. Especially in this new age of financial crisis as well as ehalth care crisis. A homeless person can not get a medical card in order to help them cope with any mental illness they may be having. They have to have an address to receive assistance. Shelters are most times full and so homeless people can not go to a shelter and go to school to become someone. Jesus was homeless. He relied ont he good people to take him in and he would stay with them for a little while and then move on. It did not make him a bum. Though some are – some are not. Help those you can for even if they are a bum, you will be rewarded in heaven. They could be an angel….then how are you gonna answer for not helping thta person just because they are homeless. We all want someone to help us in this crisis, but not many seem to want to help others in their time of need. I was moved to Michigan by my new husband once and he became very abusive menally and physically. I had no family and no where to go. me and my children slept under a pier on Lake Erie until a woman came who did not even know me and took us in. they let me stay there and clean house and babysit until I could get on my feet. I do not know what I would have done if there was a sign at that pier that said dont feed our bums! Come on people – help and be helped.
I agree with David. No matter what the population– homeless, mentally ill, certain religion, race, sexual orientation– any category of people, to expect the same behavior from each member of a group is wrong. Every human being is different and responds to their problems in a different way–some good, some bad.
At the same time I understand why some people want to categorically deny compassion and assistance to homeless people. Some homeless individuals truly make a nuisance of themselves by not following societal or community rules about pan-handling. Others, when they do beg, won’t take no for an answer and keep badgering to the point of becoming scary.
As emotional human beings, it’s tough for us not to lump all individuals together when we’ve had a bad experience with a few. It takes a conscientious mentality to take a moment and consider our attitude towards the individual we’re dealing with in that moment. It can be hard work, especially when we’re in a hurry, in a bad mood for whatever reason, or just plain emotionally drained.
Having said all of that, right or wrong, moral or not, I think it’s a business owner’s right to post a sign asking their customers not to “feed our bums.” I think it’s their right to post a sign asking their customers not to do anything. I may not agree with the judgementality of the business owner’s request, but then I don’t have to patronize that particular shop either. I don’t agree with many evangelical preachers’ sermonized messages, but they remain on TV preaching to the massess who choose to tune in.
Choices on both sides of the shop door have to be made, and our freedom of choice should be a priority.
I don’t think that many of the people that stand by the redlights are homeless and begging for money for food. I am afraid that it is a structured business for some of them.
My son is bipolar and I can tell you my heart goes out to those that are on the streets because of mental illness and circumstances beyond their control and I very much want to help them. It is just confusing sometimes as to when I am helping the right people, the truly homeless and ill.
I try and buy them a meal and give it to them instead of money so that it is used to get some nutrition in them. Is that wrong? Should I just give them a few dollars to spend as they wish?
This story really touched me. I have hated myself for over 35 years because I didn’t become the professional I dreamed I’d be. I didn’t finish college, I haven’t been able to keep jobs. In 35 years the longest I’ve held a job is 4 years! So many jobs and good opportunities and I failed. That’s why I’m so thankful for this story. My family, especially my wife has stood by my side for 30 years. Dealing with my disease; my depression, mood swings, suicide attempts, many, many jobs and lack of stability in our lives. I’ve been blessed by my familys’ support. Thank you for this story.
thank you for your perceptive angle on the homelss. I was a raging bipolar in my youth before I was diagnosed and received treatment. I went thru marriages, job, and residents depending on the mood swing. Once I received some medication, and treatment which is ongoing, I have not been homeless but I have special place in my heart and wallet for them. Life can make turns on you that you have no control over. I think that the person who made the sign has a resentment of homeless people because of an incident in his past. I enjoy your messages daily, thank you so very much David. Smiles, Jodi
I ended up homeless because of bipolar disorder. I couldn’t work because of it and had no one to help me. I was evicted because I couldn’t pay my rent. I lost everything I had and ended up homeless.
My illness was out of hand for several years and my friends and family didn’t know how to deal with me and finally got tired of trying to deal with me.
I think it is harsh to judge anyone because you never know what he or she has been through or is going through a the time.
I fully understand people with bopolar disorder. I have a sister wit this order. And it can be very frightening. She is much better now. She stays on her medication. I lived withher for awhile when she was in Manic episode.
Love to you Sis
stay strong you are there
Love Carolyn
David,you are very smart,covering all the bases,thanks for your email.
I lived in my storage room for a while. I was evicted from an apt I had lived in for 10years. They don’t care about much other than that rent money. I had been making 85k a year at a job I had self fit 15 years. When I was laid off I went back to school and got my masters degree. That project left me without much cash but I thought it was a good investment. I still think it will pay off. Took me 3 years to fond a job paying 10 dollars an hour. I actually enjoy this job a lot. It involves a contract with the company I worked for previously. I’m living in low income housing now and things are looking up. I’m 60 years old so I do worry about my expiration date getting in the way. The last few years have been an education. I don’t look at the homeless with the same eyes.
Hi,
I am so glad you sent this out!! I was just on a chat site for bipolar sufferers and had posted a comment to someone that more or less kicked her daughter to the curb because they did not know how to ‘deal with her’.
Anyone that is mentally ill in any capacity needs careful attention and help.. I agree completely that most people that are homeless out there are just lost souls that never got the help they needed.. or the meds they needed to function in society.. I volunteer alot in homeless shelters and I can see that most of them, if they could do it differently.. would.. but they never got help or treatment for their problems.. I find it very sad.
My responses are a homeless person deserves a chance in life. He is a human being and should get that kind of respect from others; that are not homeless. Right now it’s trying times, it’s very hard to get a job. I do believe in praying for the homeless and mentally ill people, so they can get help somewheres. Their are plenty of people that have a brilliant mind, but their out of a job. In certain situations they may live on the street. Like a mother nurtures her child. We should have a caring attitude toward a homeless person. Thank You Mr. Oliver. for letting me give a response to this article. Your Truly Ron
Since the closing of the mental health facilities in the eighties, there are few places for those with mental health issues to go when they are having problems with their health. Just having been diagnosed bipolar 2 in the past year, I understand more fully what it’s like. To just categorize someone is thoughtless. Most would not know that I had it. As a registered nurse, it has made me much more compassionate than I was before. I was never one to judge in the first place unless it was obvious there were some issues that the patient refused to address (alcoholism, drug abuse, spousal abuse, etc.). Right now, if it weren’t for my domestic partner, I would be homeless. My meds are not working well for me and I am unemployed so my partner is paying for everything. Once I get into the psychiatrists office (new one, the old one didn’t work out), I will have my meds evaluated and hopefully get on something better. The depressive part of BP2 is kicking my butt but there are legitimate reasons for me not to be on antidepressants until I see a psychiatrist. Thanks for the article.
Although it is difficult, we must remember that it is the disease that we hate and not the person.
I hav bipolar disorder also, its
Hard for me 2 keep down a job, I
Always seem 2 mess it up some-
How and I have been homeless many
Times so I know how it is 2 b
Homeless, and any time I see a
Homeless person with a sign I
Give money or food, I wish that
For one day ,these cruel people with
No compassion, would be homeless
Maybe then when they see these
Tired, tear filled eyes maybe then
They would find it in their hearts
2 give and 2 help, because u never
Know when hard luck will find u!