Hey,
What’s going on?
Great news! The new blog is working out great except one thing. And that one thing has nothing to do with you it has to do with me. I have an extra step of posting that shouldn’t have to be.
My friend George who writes a blog is going to help me. But it’s working great.
So remember, click on the link below to read other people’s comments AND to post your own comments.
You know what is funny? Someone sent me an email asking if I was real well let me retype, “Hello, are you David a real person? Or are you a computer software program. Does anyone read these emails? I can’t imagine how a computer could produce so many different messages.”
I am a real person J
Okay…
Mother’s Day was the other week. I wanted to tell you something really important about this.
Normally I have had problems with my mom on Mother’s Day. I have no idea why.
We just know it’s a pattern. Mother’s Day usually equals problems with bipolar disorder.
Also, November is the worst month for my mom. That’s a pattern that goes back for like 40 years according to my dad.
Anyway, in reference to Mother’s Day.
My mom’s doctor speculates that it’s because it occurs during a kind of change in seasons almost where there is more sunlight.
So, let’s say 4 Mother’s Days ago (4 years), we had problems. 3 years ago we had problems. 2 years ago we had problems. 1 year ago we had problems.
After last year, I was determined not to have any problems.
Actually let me back up, and define what I mean by problems.
My mom would start going manic and say and do things that created problems.
I don’t want to write 100 pages to describe what happened, that’s not important. You get the idea right?
Okay, so this year I was all prepared. I spoke with my mom and she was all prepared, too. She had gone to the doctor before Mother’s Day. She was seeing her therapist.
She was getting plenty of rest as well. She was following her Bipolar Stability Equation perfectly.
Guess what happened?
Nothing.
We had no problems at all.
The important thing to take away from today’s email is the concept of patterns.
Many times, bipolar disorder comes in patterns.
But the difficult thing is, the better the systems you set up, the more that you eliminate and change the patterns.
Know what I mean?
I am not sure why this last Mother’s Day wasn’t a problem. But I do know that to help prevent the problem, my mom went to her doctor and therapist, made sure her diet was perfect, got enough sleep and followed her Stability Equation to a tee.
So the question becomes now is, did her pattern change? Or did the system that we followed disrupt the pattern?
In my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
I talk about patterns and many of the ones you will see. I talk about what to do when you see certain patterns and how to make sure you don’t keep repeating the same thing over and over.
One good thing to do is to listen to the success stories that I have in my systems and you will learn from the people and things that you didn’t think were patterns you will find actually are. This will help you better prepare for them.
Hey, I just looked at the clock and I have to run.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Hi David, I most certainly agree there is a pattern to bi-polar manic episodes and it is typically the weather changing for those in the US, anyways. I have noticed a trend in untreated persons and not quite stable, but receiving treatment people with bi-polar that when winter tries to turn into spring there is a restlessness and a tendency to go manic and stay manic for months and the same again when fall turns into winter. The restlessness to go somewhere else and the tendency to be depressed and highly irritable is highly noticeable.
Hey Marni and Gunzee have you found Tanya’s email address yet? If not you can use mine; angryaswipe@gmail We all, Tanya, Donna, and I have really missed you so please contact one of us. Tanya posted her email address yesterday. Please contact one of us as we have all missed you so very much!!
My email is wrong in the previous post, it is angryaswipe@gmail.com Sorry for any confusion!
My post is about Mother’s Day. I am bipolar 2 with anxiety and depressive disorder. In short, married 28 years in October yes to same man, son 23, 5th year college sophomore who graduated private high school with honors and played 4 years on varsity basketball team. Daughter will be 18 June 26, who got pregnant at age 14(possibility of 4 fathers) gave birth at age 15 in which my husband and I became legal guardians and will be until she can go before a judge and prove otherwise. Now, she purposely didnt take her pills for 2 months, got pregnant again around Feb 1st, so my husband and I signed for her to marry the father. She quit school. We have gone through therapy (4 doctors) and the legal system when she became violent in which the judge placed her in foster care last year for 4 months (3 foster homes). I’ll now say ETC.
I am on SSDI for bipolar and was approved as of 2004. I take care of her first child now almost 2.5 years old full time – considering mothers day out.
My son was suppose to come over mothers day, his truck wasnt working properly, so I got a phone call. I do not have a relationship with my daughter and she decided to send me a hateful email, calling by my first name and the name of Satin, and saying I was never a mother. Which was totally wrong, I know that, and I know in my heart I have done everything possible I could do for her. Yes, that is a big step for me. Yet, it is hurtful.
Whether I(we) have bipolar or not, I think all mothers reflect on Mothers Day and so many times there is sadness, regret, remorse, guilt, hopefullness the next year will be better.
Then there is MY mother. I must praise and make a good day for her. Set aside all my depressive feelings and make a good day for her because she is the best. A good, loving woman and mother. How hard that is, not to show how hard it is that MY mother’s day stunk, yet make hers so wonderful.
Talk about a day of cycling. And no one understands but me. How can so many feelings come and go so quickly within my mind in one day – all because someone had to name it “Mother’s Day”. And what about the Mother role I play with my granddaughter every day, 24/7 yet I am called Nana or Momma Nana. That’s my true “Mother’s Day” now. But really no acknowledgment for that accept the sweet hugs and kisses from her. And yet only envy from my daughter who doesnt want to be her mother – only wants to use her as a pawn.
So – in conclusion – Mothers Day is Shocking. To the mind of those with bipolar.
Hey David,
I’m bipolar and schizoeffective and currently unemployed with no prospects in the future and currently living in a homeless shelter. All this happened to me after my last episode and from stealing money from my parents where I was living. I take meds and can function day to day and have a disability case coming up soon and am waiting to hear some news from the Housing Authority soon about somewhere to live. I enjoy reading your articles/blogs every day as they have really helped me. Thanks.
It’s funny that you mentioned about Mother’s Day episodes. My husband, now ex-husband would have anxiety one week before Father’s Day. I had no idea nor did he have an idea he was having a bi polar episode. ( he was diagnosed in June 2007. For 7 yrs, it was a living hell, I felt like me and my son (not his biological son) were walking on egg shells during that week. And if his daughter wouldnt call which she didnt for the 7yrs that we were together, he would be the saddest person in the world. Now that we arent together and he is living alone with this disease, and Father’s day approaches, I wonder how he will handled it. I pray that he continues to take his medication and he one day is very happy
Someone help me……….please. I am trying to get help for my 37 yo daughter and she wants help…..but no one one will do anything. She saw a social worker and asked for help…so they put her in a lock down facility. Took her off all her meds and now they say that she cannot leave as she is uncontrollable. I would buy these books from David….but frankly I am flat broke from buying meds for my daughter.
Please help me…..please!
Diane
NCR55555 -I completely understand what you are saying. I cried most of the day on Mother’s Day. I think most of us as Moms are too hard on ourselves. None of us are perfect. All we can do is the very best we can. That’s it. It sounds like you are doing all you can and a little more.
My daughter is bipolar (and I think my mother is also although undiagnosed). Sometimes I feel like I will lose my mind trying to understand where she comes from and why she thinks the way she does. Mostly it just hurts. I want to see her happy and “ok” and from one minute to the next who knows how she may react. She doesn’t see that she acts any differently than any other person. Right now she is not taking any mood stabalization medication and it scares me for her. She’s 20 though and at school most of the time so I can’t do a lot about it.
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article Shocking Post Mothers Day Bipolar Disorder Lesson, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.
HappyJoy-thanks for the support. You sound as though your thoughts are as mine. My daughter has also been prescribed meds but will not take them. However, getting pregnant at 14 and now 17(on purpose) how could she. She has all the responsibilities or has applied herself with them (and doesn’t accept them) though she thinks and acts like a 13 year old – and as you said – doesn’t realize her actions are any different than anyone else’s. Being Bipolar and a Bipolar Supporter to a teenager is a hard mix. Mostly hurtful. I cannot look at old pictures, watch old videos, nor even see teenagers grouped outside for cheerleading (in which she and I were much involved for her – for years). As she has now told me “I was never a mother” etc. Says hurtful things – but I know she says them to me because I am the one she has elected to target. It would be easy to say – just ignore it, etc. but I cant – it hurts. And yet, I still have to maintain everyday happiness, raising her first child – who looks just like her and me.
Daniel-unless you are a mother, I am sure most of this does not make sense. If you are a father – and have problems with your children who are bipolar or you are bipolar – then think of Father’s Day.
Does David Oliver ever read these?
NCR55555: I understand completely about being the target of the hurtful words and actions. A counselor advised me once that the reason for this in her opinion is because I am the one person she believes will love her no matter what and therefore she lets lose when she would find a way to restrain herself to a degree with another. I thought that was a little odd since she so often tells me how terrible I am and how much she resents me and how she can’t wait to get away from me but yet she keeps coming back. It seems to attack me but the truth is it must be more than that. Hurtful for sure. More than many could imagine but I have a feeling you know exactly what I mean. Take care.
HappyJoy-Yes, I know exactly what you mean, but how do you handle when she comes back after the hurtfulness. After being told-you aren’t “her mother”, you dont deserve the title, nickname Satin-yet I have spent all my living days since her birth loving, caring and trying to help her. The old saying of Sticks and Stones doesnt apply anymore. I cannot believe it is still not my responsibility as her Mother to teach her even now, this is wrong behavior – to treat someone like this – then call when you need something or act like nothing ever happened.
NCR55555 — It is so hard and as the years go by it seems to be harder and harder as she acts like nothing happened and my heart is still broken from the last event. I know exactly how you feel. I know that yes I will still love her and will do everything I can to overlook the treatment she has given to me but OTHERS will not and so I do feel I need to help her understand it is not acceptable behavior yet she doesn’t see what she has said and done as anything out of the ordinary or so she says. When I repeat words she will say well you know I don’t mean that. That doesn’t help much does it? I think I struggle with how much is truly unrecognized on her part? How could you not realize it? But I guess reading some of the posts and blogs that is quite possible. If you want to email me and talk more, I’d love someone to talk to about it. I don’t know if I can be of any help to you but it sounds like I could at least relate and understand where you are coming from. fscruggs@shurtape.com is my email address if you want it.