Hi,
How’s it going? Before I get started on today’s topic, I wanted to update you.
I just wanted to say that for right now, we are done accepting new applications for the customer service and admin positions that we have listed.
We have recently had some great looking people apply. Several are going through the multi step process.
Actually we had one person who is highly qualified for the admin position who had the job forwarded to her from a person on y list.
This person who is qualified has no knowledge of bipolar disorder at all. Kind of amazing. But this person is indeed qualified and going through the process.
Recently I have had to fire two people that did a tremendously poor job. Wait until I tell you the story next week. I actually got conned big time. I mean big time. Money attempted to be stolen. Sad.
Anyway, these people didn’t do anything, lied, and simply could not work from home. The tough thing for me is finding SERIOUS people who can work from home to help this SERIOUS real organization that helps people deal with bipolar disorder.
I am NOT looking for people who have broken down lives, unstable, have dozens of “problems” and want to make a “few bucks” from home.
There are many people who work for me now who have NEVER had the ability to work in the same job for more than 6 months or so.
I offer a great place to work for serious minded people.
I do have another opening. I do not have it posted yet. Andrea is working on some other stuff and can’t get it posted for a few days.
It’s for a PPC or Pay Per Click Manager. There will be VERY few people who even know what this means.
I would like to see what kind of initial response I might get.
If you are interested in a PPC management position AND you have experience, please email me at
feedbacktodave@mentalhealthworld.net
Send me what kind of experience you have. Send a resume as well.
WARNING!!!!!
If you have no experience OR have no idea what PPC Management is, please do NOT and I repeat do NOT email anything like this:
“I am willing to learn anything. I want to apply. I need a job to make some extra money”
That’s such an annoying way to email someone who is hiring. It says, “hey, I don’t care about the job. It could be anything. As long as it’s working from home. I need money and I will give it a whirl. Hire me. I am great. I swear.”
Okay, on to today’s topic.
I saw a VERY disturbing post that I really need to share with you:
David- I’ve just read through the entire explanation of all of your courses. I don’t think I can stand it because I feel that I looked down all the wrong avenues. My research and meager attempts to help were peripheral, uneducated and generally ineffective. I feel that had I ordered your course last fall, when I first found your website that my beautiful boyfriend would be alive today.
You even offered a money back guarantee. I’ve read ALL of the information. I’d never read all of it before. IF I WOULD HAVE READ IT ALL, HAVE ORDERED THE COURSE, I AM SURE HE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE. I’ve failed him in the worst way possible, and there is no going back. I’ve killed him for sure.–Lucy
————————————————————-
Doesn’t that really bother you? It really, really bothered me. I feel so sorry for Lucy, because you can tell she feels so guilty.
But something else too. It makes me feel that much more sure about what I do. It makes me want to work harder and harder and harder to get the word out on bipolar disorder to supporters to teach them like I do in my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
Now I’ve been accused by a couple of people here in the past of “soft-selling” my courses/systems on here. Well, now you know why I put them here. If I can save even one life, it’s worth it. That’s the way I look at it. See, that’s the way Lucy looked at it, the woman in the email, too. And now she feels guilty about not having ordered the course. Yes, I do offer a guarantee with the courses, but that guarantee wouldn’t have assured that her boyfriend would still be alive today. That’s why I’m always pushing the statistics about loved ones staying on their medication, because those that go off their medication stand a 20% chance of killing themselves!
And even though she says that had she ordered the course he would still be alive, that’s still no guarantee, because they still have to follow what’s in the courses.
She’s NOT responsible for what happened to her boyfriend, anymore than you’re responsible for what your loved one does.
But, like she says, if she HAD read the information that’s in the courses, things might have been different.
Now, I’m not a doctor, medical professional, therapist or any kind of mental professional, so let’s get that straight. I’m only going by what this woman herself is saying. And she is feeling Very guilty. Wrongfully guilty. It is NOT her fault.
But I have gotten other emails saying the SAME THING! I really have. One man was SO insistent that I send him my course, even though his loved one killed herself. He said he just had to see where he had gone wrong as a supporter. I even tried to talk him out of it, saying it was just his grief talking, but he was just so insistent. So I finally sent him the course for his own peace of mind.
Lucy says in her email, “I’ve killed him for sure.” Like the other man who talked to me, that’s just guilt talking. But you don’t want to be one of these people. Pay attention to what’s happening with your loved one. If they even have suicidal ideologies, if they even talk about wanting to die, or say they are thinking about killing themselves, get help. Don’t let it go too far.
This is very serious. You don’t want to lose them like these people did.
Hey, I am going hiking again today. I will catch you later on. I am going to post some photos as well since I learned how to do that.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Helping people help themselves is the ultimate sacrfice of love. Helping others can get “messy” in many ways. Struggling together is an act of courage and love. Thank you.
I feel your Supporters Blog have brought a LOT of different folks TOGETHER, either through showing them how others deal with bipolar disorder, or support someone who has it.
Just last week, there was a woman who posted that she had everything in order to kill herself last Friday. Well, someone (Sue from OH) took it upon herself to get the help that this woman needed – and she had never met her or talked to her, other than communicate on your Blog! As of this moment, we don’t know if she has succeeded in killing herself, but the point remains – the people on your blog DO care about others and try to help. I applaud your efforts, especially bringing people together, either to leave comments, vent, or help others in the same situation. It is a godsend.
We all understand you have to make money, Dave; there should be some way to get some information out to the very destitute (ones with NO money), but then I guess these emails are all we can do.
I worry and feel sorry for bipolar sufferers who believe suicide is the only answer; but I don’t know WHAT to say or how to “bring them down,” and it makes me feel HELPLESS and HOPELESS. At least “Sue from OH” felt so strongly that she stayed up 36 HOURS to hear from this woman, to make sure she was taken care of, though the hospital refused her because she didn’t have INSURANCE!!
PLEASE take seriously a loved one’s talk or actions about suicide ideation; most of the time, that is what they WANT to do. It is not always a “cry for attention;” it’s a real DANGER.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good.
Wow Dave,
Lucy, surviving bipolar is something that is no guarantee for. Please don’t feel guilty. What you are experiencing is survivors guilt. Like Dave said, you could have gotten the course and he still may have done the same thing. Bipolar killed him not you! We can’t make a decision on information we don’t have, that is to say, if we all knew what we needed to do to at all times, no one would ever make a mistake! We are HUMAN, NOT GOD, We can’t know all things at all time. You made the best decision you could at the time. When I was in my 20’s my best friend got a motorcycle, and was killed on it. I could have said, “I knew he was going to get killed on that thing” “I should have told him not to get it”. The only problem is not everyone who buys a motorcycle dies on them. I had no way of knowing.
We JUST DON”T KNOW WHAT WE NEED TO DO TO PREVENT EVERY PROBLEM IN LIFE! Your boyfriend had a LOT of work to do on his own to survive, no one can save a bipolar persons live single handed. They can work “With” the bipolar to help them help themselves. But it is like they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink! You can support a person with bipolar, but that doesn’t mean you can make them take medication, go to therapy, get in a routine, experiment with medication to find what works, be honest with their doctors, therapists, and do the work it takes to beat bipolar! IT IS NOT AS SIMPLE AS DO THIS ONE THING AND SAVE THEIR LIFE! THEY have to do “ALOT” of work on their own. You can support them, but they have to do the work themselves, you can encourage them, but they need to be courageous to take the action required to save their own life! If he would have understood how serious it is to take medication go to therapy, work with doctors, to go to an ER when he felt that way, he “Might” be alive. You just can’t make any person do anything for good or bad… People are responsible for their decisions. Unfortunately he made a bad decision. Exactly why he killed him self we may never know. It may not have had anything to do with what you could have told him or helped supporting with. Sometimes we just get it in our head and nothing will change our minds. I tried to commit suicide twice, and nothing anyone could say or do would have convinced me otherwise. So please don’t feel bad, it really isn’t your fault, in any way!
Sincerely,
Bob
in lucy’s case she should not feel guilty in any way shape or form…you can find as much information as you can grasp onto……you the supporter can not do it all the person with bipolar also has to be a part of the scenerio and in many cases they deny it’s them at all. they don’t want to read the information you show them because its not them that’s the problem they seem to truly think its the other person…..i could not help my husband when i was married to him there was nothing wrong with him… a dr told me to fix myself you cant fix someone who doesnt want help very enlightening words. I didnt understand bipolar for many years we went thru it ..I had looked for support groups for the families and found nothing. this site has helped me to understand a lot yet still when i find information and send it along to help he denies it was him still doesnt want any help. I spent years being tested if you love me you’d do this or clean the house better or not leave the house do what i tell you….people should not have to prove they love you he was shown in soooo many ways…it was like his disorder didnt allow him to be happy..we’d plan on going to a play with the kids or do something fun and he’d magically feel sick but we werent supposed to go either after the kids knew and were excited about it and the money had been spent..and when we came back omg the repercussions were unreal….we many times didnt want to go home.he’d have his episode and then after making us all scared and unhappy he was great…..he got mad one night at l0 pm because i didnt have special lights in the lamps and they were all hot from hours of usage…….in front of my small daughter he went around and unscrewed hot bulbs from every lamp said that’s what i deserved for not doing what i was told…and left us in the dark house then went upstairs to his lighted bedroom.it had gotten to the point of ok this isnt normal it isnt me i have to take the kids and myself out of this potentially dangerous and toxic situation for us. there were times when he’d come after me i thought for sure he was going to hurt me…
you as a supporter can only do your share but you cant blame yourself if the other person doesnt except your help and love….it was not your fault at all lucy needs to maybe see someone and move on with her life.one that i am sure will be so much easier…..its a long tough road you feel so responsible for them but it isnt your fault!
Dear Dave,
I know that your course saved my life. (My three children, husband and students say THANK YOU, by the way). I was having problems with a medication and my psychiatrist wouldn’t return mine, nor my therapist’s calls, despite several attempts over the period of a few days. I remembered from your course that if I was feeling suicidal, to go right to the hospital. I did, despite the “stigma” I felt doing that. I told them to give me a different psychiatrist that was in my HMO. He changed my meds while in-patient and saw me every day for the five or six days that I was there. I started smiling again and feel a part of “life”. 2 keys that I used that you gave in your course (and newsletters)=Not all drs. are good and to get help when going into an episode. Thank you SO much. I have been stable for six months, including keeping my job as a teacher. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, but I tell my therapist and dr. when I feel like that, and they both listen and try to give me alternative suggestions to handle them. I know that I have to be honest in order to get the best out of my treatment. Thanks!
Chris S.
I am really confused why people with NO experience with PPC management are submitting resumes? Didn’t I post not to do this??
It’s amazing. People are sending tons of resumes that have absolutely nothing to do with the job.
Dave
David,
I just read your email, and I to believe that Lucy shouldn’t feel so quilty about her boyfriend.
I do have a question/comment that I would really like to receive an answer for. OK, I am so very depressed right now. My life is a shambles, my husband left me for another woman (I’m being very nice on that word), and I do not have a loved one for a supporter. What do I do now? MY Mom passed away 9 1/2 years ago and I just want to be with her! Is that such a bad thing? If I was with her then all the pain, heartache, and problems would be gone. I have family, but they don’t understand me nor do they even act like they want to or care to understand me being bipolar. I’ve written to you before and I am thankful that you take the time out each day to send these emails out to help people. I just am having a reallly hard time adjusting to the way my life is right now. My shrink says that I’m suppose to get “emotionally detached” from my husband, but it is sooooooooo hard to do that. I love him a great deal and we’ve been married for 23 years! Thats half my life I’ve spent with him through times you would not even believe that have happened. I would go into detail, but I’m not so sure you’d want to hear all that. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to run away as far away as I can get, but I can’t afford to do that either. Please give me some advice to help me get through all this. I cry all the time, it’s really hard trying to work and not cry, or even think about what has happened. Thats why I really need some good advice. I know you’re not a shrink, a lawyer, or anything like that, but you’ve been through alot with your mom and I guess I’m hoping that you maybe would give me some good advice or something. I don’t know anymore bout anything.
Well I’ve rambled enough, I hope I didn’t bore you with this.
Later
I am manic depressive and bipolar. I believe them to be two differnt diseases. I am returning to school after 23 years. I also have been reading your emails. I find them helpful and I have learned about these diseases. I look forward to getting your emails.
Like you, I feel bad that Lucy blames herself. People are responsible for their own actions.Poor Lucy- wake up! Please do not publish this. Because it is only the way I feel. I feel like giving her a great big hug. Instead I will pray, for Lucy to get some peace of mind about the situation. Lucy should not blame herself for someone else’s actions
Again thank you Dave for your emails, Keep up the good work.
I am deeply saddened by the post I read today, it was like hearing that another solider was killed in the war. And, that’s what we are fighting the war to win helping with all aspects of Mental Illness. Sometimes we lose soldiers, magnificent ones right before our very eyes and it hurts. I watched both my mother and sister die, not from mental illness but, my sister from cancer and my mother from heart failure. I felt helpless and guilty, immeasurable agony and like I should have been able to do so much more. It took a long time for me to concede that it was beyond anything that I had the powers to do.
I would say to Sue, you did your part, you did the very best you could do, with what you knew and that is all you could have done. The support, the therapy, the medication and all the knowledge in the world could not have kept him from what happen. Only he knew the real battle that he fought in his head that is so ingrained that it becomes a part of your every thought and you fight and reason and try to in vision life without the madness of what you are constantly thinking in your head regardless of how much you are loved, supported, medicated, talk with, spiritually motivated, financially well to do, the thought never leaves you.
It’s more than a fight or a challenge it’s a defect that is felt and sometimes you feel that you are only staying the course because of the fact that you don’t want the ones you love to go through what they will if you are gone. Sad, but it’s a real truth for some. It makes you feel selfish and awkward; it’s not meant to hurt people nor yourself – but just not being able to get the thought of leaving here to just go away won’t leave you. Then compound that with all the bad news we constantly hear and difficult situation that you find yourself in because of the illness, and the stigma attached to this disease etc… magnifies the intensity of those deadly thoughts.
Thoughts of life need to be more than revived, or resuscitated they need a resurrection.
If you know what I mean.
I believe that I know what one is thinking during such times, therefore, sometimes it is hard to express such thoughts with anybody regardless of who they are and what they mean to you.
I am crying as I write these words because while I don’t have any attentions of taking my life, right now, It’s really hard for me to share that I struggle with the thought of it in my head so often that it hurts, and when I hear of someone taking their life it cuts like a knife and weighs in extremely heavy on my very soul. I understand how Sue feel, but, please realize that it was not because of anything you could of, would of, or should have done for him- it was not about that, we will never be able to reason with what this illness dose to the mind. I pray that God continues to give me and others who feel this way the strength to choose life, bless us with the opportunity to share our experiences with others so we can somehow get an understanding of it all. I don’t want to be a statistic. My fight is real, I can no longer, not share theses uncontrollable, reoccurring, and hidden thoughts I struggle with and the many dilemmas, issues, situation, misconceptions, and hardships I face in my head.
I realize that sometimes we have to be the voice for many who can not or will not do it for themselves for whatever the reason. We must really stay diligent in our effort to help us help ourselves. I don’t know all the right questions to ask, or things to do or to say. But, I believe the answers are within us collectively. If we are honest and truthful and are able to express how and what we are feeling, believing, seeing, and experiencing with others who genuinely what to help the cause we will get the results we are searching for.
I have to take one day at a time, and try not to live in the past or too far in the future because I know that tomorrow it is not promised to me. I have to live for the moment, and make the best of it because I know that my thoughts are subject to change if I step out of that realm of that thinking. Weird huh! Real for ME.
Dave,
I don’t think you could have made yourself any clearer in you needs for someone that is capable of this position……there are alot of people who want money in thier pocket and feel as they would be doing YOU a favor by paying them …even though they have no qualifications!
Don’t let them get you down…you know what you are looking for ,and although the process can be grueling…you have been burnt; and that in itself will guide you to the right person…someone who realizes that they need to prove themselves to YOU!
I have a good feeling about this…and it is close…Keep your chin up and
demand peak performance……you definately deserve it………..Donna
Diane,
I’m a health care professional, but not a medical doctor. You need to go to a doctor, your “shrink” or hospital to feel good again. And, do this right away.
My latest theory on bipolar for both the person with bipolar and their supporter(s) is that the reason it hits so hard is that it affects the soul. That’s why people feel so alone, because it hurts deep. The deep hurt is from either a chemical imbalance which can be treated, or a physical, biological difference in the brain’s anatomy. Either way, medication, lifestyle (exercise, good sleep, good food), along with cognitive behavioral therapy are known to be the triad (3 components working together) that is the most effective method to feel well.
Cheryl
Don’t post it.
You insist so much with those jobs. I started to ask myself if this is a new method to mentain the hope and attention on something/everything.
Bye-bye.
Dave, I have an idea,
Thought this idea might be worth posting for further input, but you can moderate it out, and we can talk about it off-post…
Let’s put together a website group together called Bipolar Owners Together Hope – or “BOTH”. both, meaning helping the cause and earning money for that …Work to educate others about bi-polar, and get paid for your efforts.
Grass-roots ownership – was it Quantas or some company that started that model of employee owned company? Anyway, maybe it could be your idea of “Tell-A-Person-About-Bipolar” – a viral based website of some sort.
Brainstorming more…maybe it’s a website that’s owned by the bipolar folks and their supporters that disseminates information (like an RSS feed) with some pay-per-clicks. Most likely a different slant than what you already do, and what I’m developing, but pertinent to bipolar. An employee owned website…those that contribute own it, and get a portion of the profits…the tasks are distributed out, so some people with the specialties do that, while other folks – the ones without the specialties who are jamming your email with a need to earn money, can be given some tasks that they can do to earn some money, while helping others.
Cheryl
And BP people are supposed to be brighter than your average John/Jane Doe?! Prove it folks – at least try Googling “pay per click” before you waste David’s time. (Yes, I do know what PPC is but its not something that interests me.)
One thing puzzles me, David. You say, ” I am NOT looking for people who have broken down lives, unstable, have dozens of “problems” ” Doesn’t that exclude at least half of all BP folk? I’m not trying to be mean – I just don’t get it.
I want to extend my thanks to Sue and Suzanne who have kept in touch with me this weekend. I have had, and am still having, a very difficult time. These two women have been so very kind and thoughtful.
I am truly glad that this website exists, not only for the valuable information, but for the support to others.
I do feel for Lucy and her boyfriend. However, Lucy,you can’t go on feeling the guilt you have for not getting the course. I have bipolar and am susicidal at times. There is nothing or nobody who can talk me out of my feelings. I am thankful that for now I have come to my senses before it is to late but I never know from day to day how,when or where I might want to take my own life. Will that invisable force that is there to stop me will be there?? That I don’t know and could wind up like your boyfriend. It is something in our minds that we have no control over.
Nice e-mail David,
Here is an interesting thought ok- I am still unable to find a Dr for my partner despite he is doing well. I have already explained it in a different blogger; my updates. Anyway, medications I really understand its importance, though what are your thoughts for someone that is a suspected sufferer, been bad most of his life and out of control and then is suddenly stable, cleaner healthwise and happier for two years and refuses to participate in breaking the law anymore? How do I continue to find a DR when he is too happy and mellow at present. I keep thinking its a matter of time, he releases his stress on labour work (hasn’t worked for 8 years)comes home has a beer watches telly, cooks and is funny. He thinks the smoke made him worse and so is able to control his mood swings better. The last Dr he saw when he was bad told him there is nothing wrong with you and anyway you are accountable for your on actions that was after he explained that he had quit drinking and has slept little in three weeks. THey shoved him sleeping tablets, my god made him WORSE, I knew it would because of your theory. He stayed awake for a whole week and was extremely volatile. He won’t go back again and sticks to drinking though fewer units to aid his sleep. I’m just grateful he is a funny happy person with a few drinks else things could have been worse. He is so happy its scary, despite that his episodes are being quick and small although just as hurtful as the bigger and longer ones: it is easier to deal with.
All this tells me that his BP is not the worse type. however, it would be nice to research all the types not just the four I have looked into, which are the worse ones. Oh and thank -you David I forgot to tell you that I got a Distinction for researching and experimenting Bipolar disorder. The tutors have never seen such in depth information including my results about how many know what it is – the results were shocking!! (remember this is Britain). So I have kept it with pride.
Oh and abit of advice to Omega triers be VERY careful, David is right about this. My partner tried a course never again, the dose is very important, he was manically too bright and that is too exhausting and causes a ripple of rapid cycling. He can only take them once a week at the very minimum though he takes them once in a blue moon now.
Also watch out about painkillers they can also effect sufferers too so if you can log a record it will help you to pick out what ones are more harmful for that person. It’s not only illegal ones that makes matters worse it is also the legal too.
To Graham,
When I say dozens of problems I mean dozens of problems that are going to interfere with the job.
You are right, lots of people with bipolar would not be a good fit but lots of people would. I am looking for the ones that would.
On another note, there is another position that I am hiring for. I am 98% certain that I am hiring someone with 8 different disorders, diabetes, and other physical problems but I am confident these issues will not interfere with her ability to do the job.
“K” – you don’t have to thank me, but I appreciate it. I consider you to be a friend now and if there’s any way I can help you, I want to try.
I’ve heard a lot of pain in this particular blog. I think that so many of us have either felt suicidal, are feeling suicidal, or have had a love one we have lost to suicide. It’s a very high risk for people with bipolar. This blog is really touching today; people are really saying how they feel. I’m so sorry to those of you who are in such pain right now.
Diane, Cheryl is right. I am also a mental health professional (but I don’t work anymore), and I can tell from what you said that you are in need of immediate help. You have been dealt some blows, and at this point it’s coming close to being beyond your ability to cope with them. You are describing symptoms of serious depression. Did you know that when things go wrong in our life, our brain chemistry can actually change and we can become sick? Please take care.
Of course Lucy shouldn’t feel guilty. I don’t think that getting Dave’s course would have prevented your boyfriend’s suicide. Some things are just going to be out of your control. Obviously he was very, very sick.
Comment: Graham: I really appreciate your powers of observation. You are very intelligent and I like it that you call a spade a spade.
David
Firstly I feel terrible for Lucy but she cannot blame herself because she was obviously trying to get help for her boyfriend but she has to understand that he has to want the help as well.
When I first came across your website, my husband had not yet been diagnosed although I had my suspicians he was BP after some research and many years of heartache & frustration. At the time I ordered your course, my husband was also suicidal (again) but until I read & learned more & he was diagnosed I really didn’t take his threats as seriously as I should have either.
I do believe in our situation David there is a good chance that my husband would not be here with us today had I not have got your course when I did. So please keep up the good work & support (your emails) for us supporters out here!
Hi Dave,
Since reading your emails they are so very informitive. In the world today it is hard to find people how truly care about the difference of another persons life. The time you have spent will help many I am sure of that.
You are a special kind of person. I try to do for others as much as I can as I do have emtional troubles from time to time. I truly believe that you get what you give. There are days that everyone somewhere needs someone.
I am glad I ran across your words. Anything inspiring can lift my day.
I am reading a book written by Eckhart Tolle~~”A New Earth-Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose”. I see you have found your purpose and that is wonderful.
Your friend,
Christey
i am from mumbai, india – have been diagnosed with bp II seven years ago – i have attempted suicide twice in the past – and i think this time i will succeed – i wish to join my mother in the next world – i want to let my wife and children have a free life – they are not responsible for this – thank you for your newsletters – walter.