Bipolar Supporter Blog

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews608/

Bipolar Disorder Is Insidious
DO> Talks about what a sneaky disease bipolar is. Don’t you agree?

Replicating risk genes in bipolar disorder
DO> This study has an interesting finding.

Getting help for bipolar disorder —— from chaos to control
DO> Article about someone with bipolar disorder. Can you relate?

Bipolar disorder Homeland Clare Danes Carrie Mathison CIA agent Laura May …
DO> This woman’s story will touch your heart, do you agree?

Demi Lovato opens up and gets help for bipolar disorder, do you know someone …
DO> This celebrity talks openly about her bipolar in a video, what do you think?

Mental illness is the hardest fight I’ve ever had, reveals Frank Bruno
DO> Horrifying story about his hospitals stays, don’t you think?

Bipolar swings emotions from high to low
DO> She makes some good points. See what you think, let me know

How To Achieve Bipolar IN Order
DO> Watch this interesting video to learn more about bipolar disorder, take a look

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews608/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews607/

Bipolar Disorder: Lark Voorhies, ‘Saved By The Bell’ Actress, Diagnosed With …
DO> Did you ever see her on TV? What do you think?

Lark Voorhies And 11 Other Celebrities Living With Bipolar
DO> Here’s a list of celebrities you may want to know.

Rock musical puts spotlight on bipolar disorder
DO> Interesting article about his view on bipolar disorder.

Do you feel guilty about having bipolar disorder?
DO> Really good article on guilt and bipolar, take a look.

KSTP’s Ken Barlow goes public with his struggle with bipolar disorder
DO> Do you agree with what he did?

Mental Illness Awareness Week is Oct. 7-13
DO> Interesting article about more than just Mental Illness Awareness Week.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews607/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

 

Dave

Hi,

You know, I get a lot of emails and calls asking me some of the same questions, and so those are the ones I try to write to you about, because you may be dealing with the same issues. Well, one of the questions I get asked about most often is what to say and what NOT to say to your loved one when they’re in a bipolar episode. I got asked this by one woman especially this one time:

“Dave, I hope you can help me. I am so frustrated I don’t know what to do. My husband is just so mad at me it seems like all the time. No matter what I say it always seems like it’s the wrong thing to say like I can never say anything right. Of course this is only when hes in a bipolar episode otherwise hes the nicest guy in the world. But how do I know whats the right thing to say and whats the wrong thing to say so I don’t make him so mad all the time? Can you tell me? Thanks Emily.”

Well, maybe you feel the same way. Maybe the same thing is happening to you. If so, know that this is a common thing that happens when someone who has bipolar disorder goes into an episode, especially a manic one where they get agitated, irritable, and angry. So how do you know what to say and what NOT to say then? I can tell you from my own experience with my mom, as well as from what I’ve learned from talking to other supporters and what they’ve written to me and told me.

For example, you should never tell your loved one in an episode that you know how they feel.

This is one comment that can make them very angry at you. The truth is that you do not have bipolar disorder, so there is no way that you can truly know how they feel. It would be better if you said something like: “I can understand that you might be feeling [ ] right now…” And insert a word like frustrated, or angry, or resentful, or hurt, or whatever feeling you have noticed or think that your loved one may be feeling. This way you’re acknowledging their feelings, but you’re not antagonizing your loved one, either. Especially if you stay calm and say it in a soft voice. You’re showing your support and understanding, but you’re not assuming anything either, which is what makes them mad at you.

Another thing you should never say to your loved one during an episode is, “You could just snap out of this if you wanted to,” or something along those lines. I know you can get really frustrated waiting for your loved one to come out of their episode, but this is still not the right thing to say, even if you have to bite your tongue. I know I did, when my mom was in her episodes. I kept thinking things like, “If she loved me, she would stop this behavior,” or, “If she would just try harder, she could come out of this episode,” and things like that.” But I realized that she WAS trying, and that she was NOT doing this to me personally! If you say these things to your loved one, you’ll be making a mistake. These types of comments can truly make them mad (hurt them) because, well, think of yourself in their shoes. If it were you, don’t you think if it were that easy, that you would do it? It isn’t that easy. That’s why your loved one is struggling.

You need to be more loving, supportive and understanding. Try saying something like: “I know this is a hard thing for you to be going through, but I just want you to know that I’m here for you.” Your loved one may say things like, “Just leave me alone!” Or even something as terrible as, “I hate you!” My mom did that, too. But you can’t take it personally. It’s just part of their bipolar episode.

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

 

Hi,

I have a friend who calls himself a “recovering alcoholic.” One day I asked him what’s the difference between being a “recovering” alcoholic and a “regular” alcoholic? And he said, “I don’t drink.” So let me ask you something: What’s the difference between being a high functioning person with bipolar disorder and being just a “regular” person with bipolar disorder?

For one thing, if you were to look at a high functioning person with bipolar disorder, you’d probably never know that they even have the disorder. They are productive, stable, and successful, and live a pretty normal life. So what else makes the difference? Usually their attitudes. A high functioning person has a positive attitude…While a low functioning person is just the opposite – they have a negative attitude. Another difference is that one is willing to do whatever it takes to reach (and maintain) stability, while the other one isn’t. Guess which one isn’t. Right. A low functioning person is like those people with bipolar disorder who you hear complain all the time, or blame all their problems on the disorder.

A high functioning person will change their lifestyle to suit their stability. They will eat right, exercise, and keep a good sleep schedule. They will be productive. They will take all their medications willingly (not just for their bipolar disorder, but for everything). They will see their doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist faithfully. They will have a strong support system. They will avoid what they’ve learned are triggers to a bipolar episode for them. They will keep their stress and anxiety to a minimum, avoiding those things and situations (and sometimes people) who raise their stress and anxiety levels. They will watch for any signs and symptoms of episodes, so they can avoid them. In other words, in one word, they are STABLE. And they worked hard to get that way. While the low functioning person is just the opposite. They won’t be medication compliant (or will complain about having to take it if they do take it at all). They won’t have a strong support system. They think they can handle this on their own. They won’t go to see their doctor, psychiatrist or therapist, because they don’t think they need them. They will probably sleep too much and even be lazy and unproductive. They will go through several episodes. In other words, they are NOT STABLE.

What’s the difference? Just what I said in one sentence before: The high functioning person with bipolar disorder will do whatever it takes to get stable and to maintain that stability. Willingly and with a positive attitude, they will do WHATEVER it takes. Is your loved one doing whatever it takes to maintain their stability? If not, they could lose it.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews606/

Johnny Lewis Was Dealing With “Psychopathy or Bipolar Disorder,” Says His …
DO> Check out this exclusive interview.

Double Standard for Bipolar Disorder
DO> Do you agree with this opinion?

Actress Erin Moran homeless: Could drugs or bipolar disorder be a factor?
DO> Do you think this Happy Days actress indeed has bipolar disorder?

Your Questions about Bipolar Disorder Answered
DO> A Dr. answers the most common questions about bipolar.

Despite illness, Rep. Jesse Jackson on track for reelection
DO> More about Jackson’s campaign for reelection despite his bipolar. 

Genes Determine If Lithium is Effective for Bipolar Disorder
DO> Interesting article about lithium and genes.

Experts: Bipolar disorder abstruse, hard to diagnose and treat correctly
DO> Opinions from a psychiatric symposium. Do you agree?

Actress Marion Cotillard’s Internet stalker pleads guilty to sending hundreds …
DO> Strange case. What do you think?

The Life-Saving Bipolar Disorder Treatment That Nobody Tells You About
DO> Good article for a supporter.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews606/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

They say that what you see is what you get. I say that what you see is not necessarily what you get! Here’s what I mean: You can hope for one thing…And then get surprised when you get something totally different. You can look at something a certain way and think you’re sure of what you see…Then find out it’s not. Think about optical illusions, for example. If you look at it one way, you see one thing. But if you look at it another way, you can see something else. The important thing when it comes to bipolar disorder, is that you DO look at what is facing you, however.

Optical illusions can “trick” us. Well, bipolar disorder can trick you in sort of the same way. You think you see it one way, but something changes, and then you can see it a totally other way. A lot of it has to do with your attitude. If you look at something with a positive attitude, you’re going to see it one way. But if you look at it with a negative attitude, you’re going to see it another way. When you apply this principle to bipolar disorder, you can see the difference that your attitude can make.

Here’s another example: If you look at your loved one’s recovery from bipolar disorder with a positive viewpoint, you’re going to see them as stable someday. And you hope for that day. If you look at your loved one’s bipolar disorder with a negative attitude, however, you may think that they’ll never get better. Think about that optical illusion. There are two ways to look at the same thing.

One supporter put it this way: “Right now my son is not stable with his bipolar disorder. But at least he’s trying his best. It’s just that he keeps having problems with his medication. Sometimes he gets discouraged, but I try to keep him optimistic, because I am a positive person, and I try to keep him focused on the future and that someday he will be better, that soon they’ll get his medications right.”

That’s the difference that a good attitude can make. This woman is a good supporter. Having a positive outlook can help you get through the hard times. It can keep you looking forward to the “someday” of stability. It can help you to look forward to your loved one reaching the recovery stage of their bipolar disorder. Things may look bad now, but if you look at it later, things will look much different. That’s how bipolar disorder tricks you. It can get you believing that what you see now is what you’re always going to get. But that’s not true. If your loved one is doing the things they need to do to further their stability, then you have every reason to hope that they will recover. Just try not to get discouraged. Just remember that it won’t happen overnight, but it will happen. Just keep in mind that the bipolar disorder will try to “trick” you into thinking that your loved one will never get better. But you don’t have to believe it.Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

 

Hi,

They say that what you see is what you get. I say that what you see is not necessarily what you get! Here’s what I mean: You can hope for one thing…And then get surprised when you get something totally different. You can look at something a certain way and think you’re sure of what you see…Then find out it’s not. Think about optical illusions, for example. If you look at it one way, you see one thing. But if you look at it another way, you can see something else. The important thing when it comes to bipolar disorder, is that you DO look at what is facing you, however.

Optical illusions can “trick” us. Well, bipolar disorder can trick you in sort of the same way. You think you see it one way, but something changes, and then you can see it a totally other way. A lot of it has to do with your attitude. If you look at something with a positive attitude, you’re going to see it one way. But if you look at it with a negative attitude, you’re going to see it another way. When you apply this principle to bipolar disorder, you can see the difference that your attitude can make.

Here’s another example: If you look at your loved one’s recovery from bipolar disorder with a positive viewpoint, you’re going to see them as stable someday. And you hope for that day. If you look at your loved one’s bipolar disorder with a negative attitude, however, you may think that they’ll never get better. Think about that optical illusion. There are two ways to look at the same thing.

One supporter put it this way: “Right now my son is not stable with his bipolar disorder. But at least he’s trying his best. It’s just that he keeps having problems with his medication. Sometimes he gets discouraged, but I try to keep him optimistic, because I am a positive person, and I try to keep him focused on the future and that someday he will be better, that soon they’ll get his medications right.”

That’s the difference that a good attitude can make. This woman is a good supporter. Having a positive outlook can help you get through the hard times. It can keep you looking forward to the “someday” of stability. It can help you to look forward to your loved one reaching the recovery stage of their bipolar disorder. Things may look bad now, but if you look at it later, things will look much different. That’s how bipolar disorder tricks you. It can get you believing that what you see now is what you’re always going to get. But that’s not true. If your loved one is doing the things they need to do to further their stability, then you have every reason to hope that they will recover. Just try not to get discouraged. Just remember that it won’t happen overnight, but it will

happen. Just keep in mind that the bipolar disorder will try to “trick” you into thinking that your loved one will never get better. But you don’t have to believe it.Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

 

Hi,

Remember when you were younger, and you wanted something so bad you almost couldn’t stand it? Like at Christmastime, getting that one present you wanted more than anything else. Then, as you get older, you may have the same strong desire for something, but you can’t always count on someone else providing it for you. Some things you just have to do for yourself. When you know what you want, and you want it badly enough, well, you’ll find a way to get it. That’s what happens when you’re an adult. No more Santa Clause. Just you. And your ability to attain what you desire. First, though, you need to know what you want.

So how does this relate to bipolar disorder? (Because you know I always relate everything to bipolar disorder somehow, right? Lol) Say you want things to be less stressful at home. Say you want it very badly. Well, no one is going to do the work for you – you first of all have to want it bad enough, and second of all, want it bad enough to do what it takes to attain it. So you might think of ways to make your home environment more peaceful. You might brainstorm some ideas and then act upon them. You can’t just wait on your loved one to do it for you, because they may either not see the same need, or acknowledge it, or be willing or able to do it like you can. I know, that sounds like it’s all on you to do the hard work…But sometimes you have to pick up the slack from your loved one. That is, if it’s something you want bad enough. Again, if you want something bad enough, you’ll do whatever it takes to get it.

If your loved one wants stability bad enough, they will do whatever it takes to attain it. And that may be what you want as well. Although you can’t make your loved one do what they have to do to attain stability…You can do your part. You can help them remember to take their medications.

You can see that they get to all their doctor and therapist appointments. You can make sure that they stay productive, even if that means writing up a To-Do List for them. You can go to your own support group and find out how other supporters are dealing with their loved one’s bipolar disorder. In other words, if you want something bad enough, you’ll do what it takes to get it.

That doesn’t mean, though, that you can’t ask for help. In fact, if you don’t ask for help, you may suffer supporter burnout, trying to do everything yourself. On the other hand, you don’t want to do for your loved one what they can do for themselves, either. You have every right to expect them to participate in what they can. Like the example I used of keeping a stress-free home environment. They can help with that, too. Can you think of an example of something you wanted so bad you were willing to do whatever it took to get it? That’s the right attitude you (and your loved one) need to have toward bipolar stability.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews605/

Clinical Psychologist Reveals Amanda Bynes May Have Bipolar Disorder
DO> Interesting to read what this psychologist has to say.

Can Fish Oil Help Your Brain – and Bipolar Disorder?
DO> And the debate over fish oil continues…

Bipolar woman sues King Soopers, claims she was fired for disorder
DO> You won’t believe this woman’s story, do you?

‘Homeland’ star Claire Danes on playing bipolar: ‘I gorged on manic …
DO> Interesting viewpoint, take a look.

Second trial begins in stabbing death
DO> Interesting to see how bipolar disorder is a factor in this case. What do you think?

Aide: Rep. Jackson Selling Home to Pay for Healthcare NBC Chicago
DO> Shows how bipolar costs affect everyone, did you know this?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews605/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

 

Dave

Hi,

I’m real busy in meetings today, but I wanted to make sure I got out this email to you, because I felt the subject was so important. I got an email about something I really want to discuss with you today.

It said:

“Before I was on meds, I scared my family half to death. They never knew which direction

I was coming from. You web site is informative. I like actually getting information from someone who knows the disorder. People don’t understand it until they have to deal with it, and it takes a while for them to “get” it. You are helping more people than you know.”

———————————————————————————————————————

No, it’s not the compliment part, although it is nice to get positive feedback, because it helps me to remember why I am doing this. It helps me to keep going, to know that I am helping people like you. But what concerns me is the part where this person says, “Before I was on meds, I scared my family half to death.” The emphasis should be on, “Before I was on meds…” Because this is when you should be the most afraid of your loved one. That’s why I stress the importance of taking bipolar medication so much. Without your loved one being on medication (and the right medication at the right dosage), there is no telling what they’ll do.

You might be afraid of what they’ll do to themselves. You might be afraid of what they’ll do to others. You might be afraid of what they’ll do to you. You might be afraid of what they’ll do to the children. You might be afraid of their behavior in general. You might be afraid they will just get so out of control that you won’t know what to do. You might be afraid of what will happen if they get out of control. You might be afraid of what will happen if you have to put them in the hospital. You might be afraid of what will happen if you lose all your money because of one of their manic episodes. You might be afraid of what will happen if they even try to kill themselves.

These are a lot of things to be afraid of, aren’t they? And there are even more! It’s no wonder this person says, “Before I was on meds, I scared my family half to death.”

The problem is the unpredictability of it all. Without your loved one being on medication, there is NO telling what they will do…No telling what they are capable of doing during a bipolar episode (which is what will happen without medication). That’s why it’s so important to get your loved one on the medication they need.

This person also goes on to say: “They never knew which direction I was coming from.” That’s because without proper treatment, even the person with bipolar disorder does not know which

direction they are coming from. And even they can be afraid too. They may get paranoid, have delusions (false beliefs), have hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that aren’t there), or even get violent or abusive. The only way to really help your loved one is to make sure that they are on medication and that they get the proper treatment that they need.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave