Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

You know…In life in general…If you want to get someplace, you have to take the right steps to get there. That just makes sense, doesn’t it? Like this woman I know. She wanted to be a great educator. So first she got her bachelor’s degree. Then the next step she took was to get her master’s degree. The next step for her was to get her doctorate. And the final step was to get that career that ensured that she would be the great educator that she wanted to be. And you know what? She did all that. Because she took the right steps to get what she wanted.

I know a man who wanted to become successful in business. Well…He started off with an idea. (A good idea, of course.) He took a small step at first, utilizing a good business plan. Then he took a bigger step, enlarging his business. Gradually he took enough of the right steps that he parlayed that idea into a tremendously successful business!

I did the same thing when I started BipolarCentral.com. First…I just wanted to help my mom with her bipolar disorder. So I took the first step and got educated about the disorder. Then I took the next step and found out how to get her stabilized. Then I did research into other people who had the disorder and people who were supporting them. Then I started the website. And everything blossomed from there.

So what am I getting at? And what does this have to do with bipolar disorder? I’ll tell you. You have to take the right steps to insure stability with your bipolar disorder.

Take my mom, for example. Recently she was under a tremendous amount of stress. Things were happening at work…And on top of it all, my dad got real sick. So because my mom had to go back and forth to the hospital, her schedule was all off. That meant that she lost sleep, for one thing. Which is bad when you’ve got bipolar disorder. And she stopped eating right, because she had to just grab what she could at the hospital. After a little while, she felt herself starting to go “off” with her bipolar disorder.

So what did she do? She took the right steps to avoid a bipolar episode. First: She got in touch with her psychiatrist. And her psychiatrist increased one of her medications for a few days. Then she talked to her therapist on the phone. Then she got her sleep under control. Then she started eating right again. Then she started pacing herself with work and being proactive in the problem that had been stressing her out at work.

By taking all these steps, my mom stayed stable and was able to avoid a bipolar episode, in spite of all the major stress in her life at the time. Your loved one can avoid an episode as well as long as they take the right steps.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

I wanted to share with you a comment I received on my blog:

“There is a difference between a symptom and a behavior. A symptom is what is experienced by a person as a result of an illness. A behavior is an ACTION that person takes in response to that experience. Hypersexuality, for example, does not mean being unfaithful. Hypersexuality is a symptom. It is the experience of a suddenly or dramatically increased sex drive. There are many choices as to what to do in response to a sudden increase in libido. The vast majority of those choices are not harmful to self or others, illegal, irresponsible, or regrettable.

So I don’t dispute for one minute that in general, there is a set of symptoms that is typical for a person with bipolar disorder. Most of us here agree that bipolar disorder doesn’t go away. That means if I have bipolar disorder, I will have symptoms — EXPERIENCES of the illness for the rest of my life.

My responsibility to myself is to think about how I want to conduct myself, what kind of life I want. Responsibility means I keep tabs on what I DO. Yep, I know that typical set of symptoms. What I DON’T do is ACT just the same as every other person who has those same symptoms. And therein lies the difference which some people tend to disregard when talking about the whole big bunch of us.

I could feel like doing all manner of destructive things. I could tell you the reason why I feel like doing destructive things is because of symptoms of bipolar disorder. And I could be right! At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what destructive thing I felt like doing, nor does it matter why.

It matters which CHOICE I made.”

———————————————————————————————————————

So, he is basically talking about the difference between a symptom and a behavior. He’s defining a symptom as what is experienced by a person as a result of an illness. Then he defines a behavior as an action that the person takes in response to that experience. He uses the example of hypersexuality (increased sex drive), which is one of the symptoms of bipolar disorder. So hypersexuality is something that a person in a manic episode might experience, because it’s a symptom.

In his words, “Most of us here agree that bipolar disorder doesn’t go away. That means if I have bipolar disorder, I will have symptoms – EXPERIENCES of the illness for the rest of my life.” I like the way he put that, because it is realistic. It’s not realistic to assume that you won’t have symptoms if you have bipolar disorder, because if you have the disorder, no matter how long you’ve been stable, you WILL have symptoms from time to time.

So then he goes into CHOICES. This has to do with what he said in the beginning of his post:

“A behavior is an ACTION that person takes in response to that experience.” So you have a symptom, then an experience, then a CHOICE, then an ACTION (behavior). Now, some people stop there, and make poor choices, or impulsive decisions, which cause wrong actions.

So what is the key, does he say? RESPONSIBILITY. He says, “Responsibility means I keep tabs on what I DO.” He uses the example of wanting to do destructive things, and he concludes, “At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what destructive thing I felt like doing, nor does it matter why. It matters which CHOICE I made.” And that would be great if everyone could do it that way. Unfortunately, when someone with bipolar disorder is in an episode, their thinking is impaired, and they won’t necessarily be able to make good choices, or exhibit good behavior.

When they are in an episode, your loved one may throw responsibility out the window and be unable to control their impulses as a result of their “symptoms.” At that point, everything this man said is “out the window,” since the person is “experiencing” a bipolar episode.

At best, though, in my opinion, I agree with what he said.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews641/

The new disorder: teen temper tantrums
DO> What do you think about this controversy?

Carrie Fisher vows ‘to learn’ from Catherine Zeta-Jones
DO> An encouraging decision, don’t you think?

OCEAN BEACH WOMAN FINALLY HAS A LITTLE PEACE OF MIND
DO> This woman’s story will move you.

Long ER wait leads to son’s final hospitalization
DO> This man really struggled, don’t you agree?

New Treatments for Bipolar Mania
DO> Important clinical findings, wouldn’t you say?

Rescue dog helps Fargo woman manage challenges of bipolar disorder
DO> Don’t you think this is an interesting approach to treatment?

A Rorschach test of modern mental health care
DO> Do you agree with their opinion?

Obama: ‘He’s a Kennedy,’ He Didn’t Have to Talk About His ‘Bipolar Disorder …
DO> Don’t you think he was a brave man to talk about his bipolar disorder?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews641/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

 

Dave

Hi,

I have a friend who says that when he was younger, his mom had an expression she would say all the time when things got a little frantic and she got stressed out as they sometimes do when you’ve got kids: “I don’t know if I’m coming or going!” I can see how a mother could feel that way at times. I can even see how someone with bipolar disorder could feel that way, too. With extremes in mood swings and other issues that surround their disorder, and uncontrollable emotions sometimes, they could easily feel like they don’t know if they’re coming or going. Things can get pretty confusing for the person who has bipolar disorder. That’s why they depend so much on their supporter. Your loved one depends on you for a lot of things. Especially to help them when they’re feeling like things aren’t exactly within their control. Those times when they don’t know if they’re coming or going. Those are the times when you need to know what’s coming AND going.

You need to always be in control. So you need to be emotionally healthy. You can’t let your emotions (feelings) get in the way of being able to handle things. That means that you should be dealing with your emotions in a healthy way. Such as talking them over with your loved one. Or a friend or family member. Or someone else you trust, such as a clergy person, or a therapist. If you don’t have someone you can talk to about your emotions/feelings, you should at least be writing them down in a notebook or journal. This way you still get them out and don’t stuff them. Otherwise they would just come out in unhealthy ways (like fighting with your loved one).

You also need to be physically healthy. You should be exercising regularly, at least three times a week, for at least 30 minutes each time, in a way that gets your heartbeat up. This could be in any way that you like – even walking would work, as long as you do it with regularity and consistency.

Also, make sure that you take care of your physical concerns health-wise. Get regular physical check-ups with your doctor, and see him/her for anything else that concerns you in between those regular check-ups. Eat a healthy, nutritious diet that is low in carbohydrates, fats, and sugars, and take a multivitamin to supplement it.

You should also be mentally healthy. You should do things that occupy your mind and challenge you, like work. Now, work is definitely a challenge sometimes, isn’t it? But you should also enjoy your work, and it shouldn’t be a source of stress for you. If it is, you should consider another job.

You should also find ways to be stimulated creatively. Like in the hobbies you choose. They should be creative outlets for you, and you should enjoy them.

You should also be spiritually healthy. This doesn’t mean that you should pray or go to church or temple all the time. But many people find that prayer does help. And many find that meditation also helps. Having an active church/temple life can give you an outlet where you can have friends outside your loved one and their “bipolar world.”

I know I’ve said an awful lot of “should’s” today, but if you do them, you’ll be a lot happier and more able to handle the comings and goings that go along with bipolar disorder.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

A friend of mine just got back from vacation in Florida and was telling me about it. She was on the beach collecting shells and found a smooth, polished stone. She explained to me how these stones start off as rough and what we think of as normal looking stones, but after time and the ocean tides, the stone gets washed until it is smooth and polished. The key phrase here is “over time.” That’s what made me think of bipolar disorder. Because if you’re thinking that your loved one is taking a long time to get better, you’re right. And that is normal. Because you can’t get stable from bipolar disorder overnight. Just like that washed stone, it takes time for the “ocean tides” to “wash” your loved one into stability.

Let’s compare the two: First the stone starts off as a normal looking stone – rough and unpolished, unsmooth. That would be your loved one before stability. Then the ocean tides begin to wash over the stone and start the process of reshaping the stone. That would be your loved one getting used to their medication and changing, adapting to the bipolar lifestyle. Then, a little more time goes by, and the stone begins to get smoother, with the tides washing the rough edges right off. That would be your loved one learning how to manage their bipolar disorder. Then, after enough time has gone by, that rock has weathered the ocean tides, and emerges a smooth, polished stone. That would be your loved one reaching stability.

No, stability doesn’t happen overnight. And it’s hard, as a supporter, to be patient, I know. And you do have to have a lot of patience as a supporter during this process. You have to watch your loved one as they struggle first with their diagnosis. Then with their mood swings. You have to watch them when they are in episodes, and that can get very hard. When your loved one is depressed for a long period of time, and it seems like nothing you do is helping them, what do you do if they won’t go for help? That’s one of most difficult things that a supporter has to go through. Or if your loved one won’t take their medication. Because these things lead to bipolar episodes. Then you’re back to square one. And it’s hard to watch this happen. But remember the ocean tide – it goes out and comes back in again, over and over and over. Remember that stability is a process that happens over time.

When your loved one goes into a manic episode, things can get very difficult. They can get very impulsive, making rash decisions, being promiscuous, doing risk-taking behaviors, going on spending sprees, etc. It’s usually in a manic episode that your loved one will display behavior that has consequences to it – perhaps legal or financial (or otherwise). Then you have to deal with the fallout, and that can be especially difficult for you. You may have to deal with some negative feelings at this point; for example, you may start to feel that this isn’t fair, and thoughts like that. But hang on, and remember that polished stone. Remember the process. After awhile, you will see your loved one start changing. If they do the things they need to do to be stable – such as taking their medication religiously, seeing their psychiatrist and therapist, eating a healthy diet, sleeping right, exercising, being productive, etc…

Then eventually, they will have less and less episodes…And, just like the polished stone…

Your loved one will be stable!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews640/

Study: Genes may boost woman’s risk of postpartum depression
DO> These findings could help in developing a blood test, don’t you think?

Mental illness manual no ‘bible’: Column
DO> Do you agree with this man’s opinion?

Women with manic depression more vulnerable to alcohol problems
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Are we close to understanding bipolar disorder?
DO> Interesting approach to the terms, don’t you agree?

Pediatric Bipolar Disorder Treated With Ketamine
DO> What do you think about the use of this drug?

Experts look to bipolar disorder part of homelessness equation
DO> Isn’t it interesting how the two are linked?

OCEAN BEACH WOMAN FINALLY HAS A LITTLE PEACE OF MIND
DO> This woman’s story will move you.

Faster Antidepressant Discontinuation, Faster Recurrence of Symptoms
DO> This information is good for you to know.

Bipolar disorder: Symptoms, causes, diagnosis and treatment
DO> Important information that you need to know.

Man who disrupted flight says he has bipolar disorder
DO> You’ll find this man’s story frightening.

Woman gets 17 months for $130000 theft at Muncie church
DO> Do you understand why this woman did what she did?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews640/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

 

Dave

Hi,

Have you ever been to the circus? Or a local fair? Maybe even just a kid’s birthday party. I’m sure you have. If you have, you’ve seen a clown. And you’ve seen those great big shoes they wear. Haven’t you ever wondered how they can ever walk in them? I mean, they’re HUGE!

But that’s just part of their thing. They’re used to it. But can you imagine if you or I tried to walk in them? We’d probably fall flat on our faces, wouldn’t we? Well, that’s the way I see trying to negotiate bipolar disorder without a plan. Yep. Trying to manage bipolar disorder without a plan is like walking in big clown shoes. Can you get the picture? It’s like I tell people all the time – you have to have a plan.

Without a plan, you have no sense of direction. It’s like a ship without a rudder. A cake without a recipe. A college degree without its coursework. Without a plan…How will you know what to do when your loved one goes into a bipolar episode? You have to have a plan. There’s just no two ways about it. Having a plan just makes sense. And it will make your life so much easier. It is hard enough trying to cope and deal with a loved one with bipolar disorder. Things are confusing and frustrating enough as it is. But with a plan…It can take away some of that confusion and frustration for you. There isn’t a whole lot that you have control over when it comes to bipolar disorder. And sometimes you can feel really helpless. It can get really overwhelming sometimes, too. But having a plan can give you that sense of power back. This is one thing over which you can have control.

There is a saying: “Life is 1% what happens to you…And 99% your reaction to it.” Having a good, strong plan in place will help you to control your reaction to what happens when your loved one does go into that inevitable bipolar episode. And what comes afterward. First of all…

Let’s deal with the beforehand. You need to be on guard. I’m not saying that you can never relax. I’m just saying that when it comes to bipolar disorder, you can never let down your guard and trust it. You always have to be on watch for any triggers, signs, and symptoms of a bipolar episode in your loved one. When you see one happening, you need to have a plan of action as to what to do: Call the psychiatrist first, increase in medication, hospitalization if necessary, etc.

Then afterwards, you need to sit down with your loved one and do what I call a Post-Episode Analysis, so you know better for the next time what to do and can improve your plan.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

I was just reading on a blog about a person with Bipolar disorder who claims to be “just fine” without their meds. To tell you the truth, I find that hard to believe. I believe it’s the medication that makes you feel “just fine” when you have bipolar disorder. But I was also bothered by some of the responses to this person as well. They got some actual support for stopping their medications! That is so dangerous! I would never tell someone who is truly diagnosed with bipolar disorder (and not misdiagnosed) to go off their medications. Like I said, it’s the medications that make you feel better, but if you stop them, you’ll go back to the way you felt before! I hope this person doesn’t listen to the people advising him to go off his medications, because that can be very dangerous for him.

Does your loved one do this? Are you struggling with keeping them on their medications? Are they reading blogs like this one that tells you it’s ok to go off your medications without a doctor’s advice? First of all, find out why they want to stop taking their meds. Are they experiencing side effects from their medication? Tell them that the usual side effects from bipolar drugs can be dealt with.

For example, for dry mouth, just suck on some ice cubes or hard, sugarless candy. For nausea, eat something when you take your medications, and/or drink something carbonated. For lightheadedness (dizziness), stand up or sit down slowly, and it will usually pass. For drowsiness from medications that you’re taking during the day, you need to tell your doctor, as they may have you take them at night (bedtime) instead, and this will resolve the side effect.

If you have any side effects that are really bothering you, you do need to check with your doctor.

The answer is probably easier than you think. But most often, the answer will NOT be to go off your medication. Your doctor can help you get through the side effects, but you have to tell him/her about them. It may be that just a dosage change is all that is required to make you feel better. It could be that an additional drug can help stop the side effects. It could be that just changing when you take the medication will solve the problem. But it is never the right answer to just go off your medication without working with your doctor on it. NEVER. It could be life-threatening if you do. If you stop your medications without a doctor’s advice or tapering, it could cause you to go into a bipolar episode, and you might commit suicide. So you really need to report all side effects to your doctor, and let him/her help you work things out, rather than going off your medications on your own.

Most of the time, the solution is an easy one for the doctor to work out for you. But he/she isn’t a mindreader. They can’t know what’s going on with you if you don’t tell them. And if you try to do things by yourself, you could too easily complicate matters and make them worse. You really do need to leave things to the professionals in this case.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

I read this quote the other day: “Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine.” –M.F. Fernandez. The reason it caught my eye is because I always used to call my mom’s episodes “the storm.” Of course you know she is very stable now, because, for one thing, she takes her medications faithfully. For another thing, she goes to see her doctor and her therapist. She also follows a good treatment plan, and does all the things you need to do to manage your bipolar disorder well.

But back in “the storm” days…She was in a bad episode, and I really just tried to get her to the hospital because I said, “You need to go to the doctor.” At that point, she would just scream and yell three or four times a day for hours. My dad left and I’m inside and she is screaming and yelling, barging through my door almost breaking it down. So, imagine you’re like me, sitting trying to type, peaceful, and then all of a sudden a hurricane comes in or a storm. That person is screaming and hollering and yelling at you for hours at a time and then there is a pause and just as you start to feel better it starts again. Like I said, it’s like a storm. A bipolar storm.

Well, as you know, eventually we got my mom the help she needed for that episode. I did all my research into bipolar disorder, developed my systems, taught them to my mom, and today she is very stable. But now you can understand why I called her behavior the storm,” right?

So here’s the thing, and why I like that quote so much. It gives you so much hope! You can actually RISE ABOVE THE BIPOLAR STORM! I did, when I got my mom the help she needed, when I developed my systems and taught them to her, and she got stable. Here’s the good news: You can rise above the “bipolar storm,” too! You simply do the opposite of what your loved one is doing! Maintain your controlled behavior to deal with your loved one’s out-of-control behavior (their “bipolar storm”) when it happens.

Here’s what I mean. You’ll notice that in my whole story of telling you about my mom’s “storm,” and she was doing all that yelling and screaming at me, I never yelled and screamed back at her.

In other words, I stayed in control, even though she was out of control. This concept, even though it’s a simple one, is very important for you to learn. It will really help you to deal with your own loved one’s “bipolar storm” and keep you from losing your own control. Whatever they do, you do the opposite. For example, if they aren’t holding their composure, you hold onto yours. If they are yelling, you stay quiet. If they are weak, you be strong. If they aren’t rational, you stay rational. If they are out of control, you stay in control. See how the concept works?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new?  Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews639/

Shooting victim’s mom to Hickenlooper: Execute Nathan Dunlap
DO> What do you think the governor will do?

Mental illness ’caused by chemistry’
DO> This video will interest you.

More guns used in suicides than homicides
DO> You will be moved by this video.

Antipsychotic drugs recalled
DO> Important information that you need to know.

Glenn Close’s family sheds light on mental illness stigma – USA Today
DO> Don’t you think they are doing a good thing?

Psychiatric diagnoses of mental illness ‘lack scientific evidence’
DO> Do you agree with their opinion?

Patrick Kiefer: Wellness and Bipolar Disorder – Winona Daily News
DO> Some good information you want to know.

First Person: Living Optimistically with Bipolar Disorder
DO> This woman’s story will move you.

Studying a Link Between Stress and Bipolar Disorder
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Controversial Update in Diagnosing Bipolar Disorder in Children
DO> Important information about children, don’t you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews639/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

 

Dave