Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

Remember how Superman always wore a big S on his chest? Well, some people might say that some bipolar supporters wear a big S on their chests, too. It could be because they try to do everything themselves. They don’t accept help from anyone else. They don’t have their own support system. They put too much time and energy into their loved one and not enough time and energy into themselves. They don’t take care of themselves. They aren’t balanced. They are usually stressed to the max. They don’t do things that bring them pleasure.

They don’t do anything outside of their loved one. They don’t have any hobbies. They don’t take care of their own health. They’re always busy trying to please their loved one. Everything they do is for their loved one, and nothing is for themselves. They try to be perfect. Everything they do has to be perfect.

Does this sound like you? If so, take the S off your chest! You are NOT perfect! Nobody is. Your loved one should not expect you to be perfect, and you shouldn’t expect yourself to be, either. Trying to be perfect is only going to exhaust you! To say nothing of the stress that it will bring upon you.

All you can ever do is just the best you can do. And you can’t do everything by yourself, either.
You need to have your own support system, just like your loved one should have their own
support system. You can’t keep holding everything in all the time. And sometimes even journaling your thoughts and feelings just isn’t enough – you need a real person to listen to you.
Like a close friend or family member, or maybe a clergy person. Some supporters even go to a therapist of their own.

Taking care of yourself should be a priority – if you’re not in good emotional and physical
health, then you’re no good to yourself or your loved one. Having outside interests will help to keep you emotionally healthy and well-balanced. You need to do things that make you happy and bring you pleasure, whether that is working at a job, having a hobby, or just reading a good book or going to the movies or lunch with a friend.

You need to keep yourself balanced – mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. You should have an exercise program in place – even if it’s just walking (30 minutes at least 3
times a week). Just remember that you are not Superman – don’t expect too much from yourself.
If you do, you will get into trouble. Just ask yourself if what you are expecting from yourself is more than you would expect from someone else. If it is, then you need to lower your expectations.

Or ask yourself if what you are expecting of yourself is more than other people would expect
from you. If it is, then again, you need to lower your expectations.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

Remember how Superman always wore a big S on his chest? Well, some people might say that some bipolar supporters wear a big S on their chests, too. It could be because they try to do everything themselves. They don’t accept help from anyone else. They don’t have their own support system. They put too much time and energy into their loved one and not enough time and energy into themselves. They don’t take care of themselves. They aren’t balanced. They are usually stressed to the max. They don’t do things that bring them pleasure.

They don’t do anything outside of their loved one. They don’t have any hobbies. They don’t take care of their own health. They’re always busy trying to please their loved one. Everything they do is for their loved one, and nothing is for themselves. They try to be perfect. Everything they do has to be perfect.

Does this sound like you? If so, take the S off your chest! You are NOT perfect! Nobody is. Your loved one should not expect you to be perfect, and you shouldn’t expect yourself to be, either. Trying to be perfect is only going to exhaust you! To say nothing of the stress that it will bring upon you.

All you can ever do is just the best you can do. And you can’t do everything by yourself, either.
You need to have your own support system, just like your loved one should have their own
support system. You can’t keep holding everything in all the time. And sometimes even journaling your thoughts and feelings just isn’t enough – you need a real person to listen to you.
Like a close friend or family member, or maybe a clergy person. Some supporters even go to a therapist of their own.

Taking care of yourself should be a priority – if you’re not in good emotional and physical
health, then you’re no good to yourself or your loved one. Having outside interests will help to keep you emotionally healthy and well-balanced. You need to do things that make you happy and bring you pleasure, whether that is working at a job, having a hobby, or just reading a good book or going to the movies or lunch with a friend.

You need to keep yourself balanced – mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. You should have an exercise program in place – even if it’s just walking (30 minutes at least 3
times a week). Just remember that you are not Superman – don’t expect too much from yourself.
If you do, you will get into trouble. Just ask yourself if what you are expecting from yourself is more than you would expect from someone else. If it is, then you need to lower your expectations.

Or ask yourself if what you are expecting of yourself is more than other people would expect
from you. If it is, then again, you need to lower your expectations.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews672/

People with Mental Disorders more Likely to Use Alcohol, Drugs
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

‘First-line’ role for sleep deprivation in suicidal bipolar patients 
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Aggression treatment needed for patients with bipolar disorder
DO> Important information for you to know.

Legalizing marijuana will bring many problems
DO> Do you agree with this man’s opinion?

Jane Pauley publishes ‘Your Life Calling’
DO> This famous newswoman and talk show host’s story will inspire you.

Study explores bipolar in postpartum period
DO> Good thing for you to know, especially if you’re planning on having children.

Chantix Helped People With Mental Illness Quit Smoking Longer in …
DO> Good information for you if you want to quit smoking.

Bipolar screening tools not tailored to young people
DO> You’ll find this study has important information

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews672/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

There used to be an old nursery rhyme that went:

There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good
She was very, very good
But when she was bad she was horrid!

——————————————————————————————————————-

I don’t know why that made me think of today’s topic, but it did: How you have to take the bad with the good when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder. Or maybe it should be the other way around if you continually dwell on the bad – that you might need to be reminded that underneath it all, there is still some good to be found. Just in life in general, there is both bad and good to be had. You don’t have to be dealing with bipolar disorder for that to happen. But it just seems to be amplified when you are dealing with the disorder.

Like the nursery rhyme line, “but when she was bad she was horrid,” sometimes what you have to go through can seem almost intolerable. But it could be just your subjective interpretation of
events – to someone else it might not seem so bad. Not to belittle what you have to go through as a bipolar supporter, because I know it’s rough. I know how bad it was for me when I was going through it with my mom.

But taking the bad with the good, you have to admit that there is some good in there. Even though the bad times are, as the nursery rhyme says, “horrid,” the good times are just as good.
And there are good times in between your loved one’s bipolar episodes, you’ve got to admit.

One of the facts I’ve talked about before is that someone with bipolar disorder only has about
4-5 full-blown episodes in their lives. It is a fallacy that they go from one episode to another
all the time. But it can seem like it sometimes, can’t it? Because you are there for the worst of it.

You know your loved one better than anyone else. You know the bad side of the disorder. You know firsthand what “horrid” means. Yes, it’s true that during episodes your loved one can get pretty out of control. But in between bipolar episodes, your loved one can be normal. So you have experienced those times as well. And you need those times to balance out the bad times.
Otherwise you wouldn’t still be with your loved one, would you? It would just be too hard to take. Too much bad all the time.

But it’s the good times that make it worth it to stay with your loved one. And the good times can be very, very good, can’t they? So you have to take the bad with the good. And you have to focus on the good in order to put up with the bad. It helps if you can separate your loved one from their disorder. Have you been able to do that? One supporter I know does this by keeping a photograph of him and his wife from when she was at her best, between episodes. He looks at this picture whenever his wife is in an episode and exhibiting acting-out behavior, so he can separate his wife from her bipolar disorder. Another supporter keeps a scrapbook of “best times”
that she and her sister have had.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews671/

Me2/orchestra enlists musicians with mental illness
DO> This story will inspire you.

Tragic, avoidable
DO> Are you appalled by another senseless tragedy?

GADL1 gene variants predict response to lithium in Han Chinese
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Register-Guard: ER Doctor Sues Psychiatrist
DO> This outcome could have been avoided, don’t you agree?

Family history points to more severe bipolar disorder
DO> Some good information for you to know.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews671/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews670/

Abnormal neural responses to emotional stimuli found in bipolar …
DO> Important study, don’t you agree?

Depressed mood cited most frequently in early bipolar disorder
DO> Some good information for you to know.

Shared genetic risk for bipolar disorder and BMI
DO> Bet you didn’t know this about your body and bipolar disorder.

Diet may not fully explain cardiometabolic problems in bipolar disorder
DO> Interesting study, don’t you think?

Increased energy/activity was key symptom in hospitalized bipolar …
DO> You’ll find these results surprising.

Multimorbidity in bipolar disorder and undertreatment of …
DO> This is some information about bipolar you’ll want to know.

Treating depression fails to reverse cognitive deficits in bipolar …
DO> You’ll find this an interesting study.

Asthma link to mood disorders strengthened
DO> Important information for you, especially if you have children.

Antidepressants may not be effective in treating bipolar disorder
DO> You may be astonished at these study results.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews670/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Merry Christmas to you all. Hope you had a great day.

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews669/

Bipolar disorder patients hold contradictory self-associations
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Predictors of substance abuse identified among teens with bipolar …
DO> Important information for you to know if you have a teenager.

Mental disorders link to heart disease risk
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Smoking During Pregnancy Associated with Increased Risk of …
DO> Important information for you, especially if you want to have children.

Diabetes blamed for brain neurochemical abnormalities in bipolar …
DO> Don’t you think this is an important study?

Mood stabilizer plus antipsychotic can prevent bipolar relapse
DO> Good information for you to know.

Diet may not fully explain cardiometabolic problems in bipolar disorder
DO> This can be no worse for your loved one.

Head injuries increase risk for psychiatric disorders
DO> This can be dangerous for developing bipolar disorder.

Glenn Close Promotes Mental Health Legislation on Capitol Hill
DO> Don’t you think she’s a good supporter?

Shared genetic risk for bipolar disorder and BMI
DO> Don’t you agree that this is an interesting study?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews669/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

If you’re a bipolar supporter, I have some good news and some bad news (don’t you hate when people do that?). The good news is that your loved one can get better. The bad news is that the bipolar disorder they have, works to try to prevent you from helping them get better.

Take a look at this: Someone with the screen name “tried them all” wrote the following:

“For over six years, I have been lying to myself. I have been hurting myself emotionally and
physically. I seek help, but I am really lying that I want help at all. I’ve seen at least a dozen
professionals, none of whom have helped me. Although each and every one had a fault, I could
not overlook their deficiencies to see my own.

I am angry, but won’t admit to my anger. My anger is at myself…anger turned inward. I do
harmful things to ‘act out’ my anger, but I only hurt myself and those around me. I have done nothing to help myself and all my efforts to seek help thus far have been in vain. I have lost the love of many. I no longer have the people and things that have meant most to me.

I have found that instead of working with these professionals, I have worked against them. Instead of trying to make things better, I have only made them worse. I have only thought negatively, rather than positively. Instead of saying “I can,” I make excuses for why “I can’t.” I don’t try now because I fear failure. I have failed because I have been lying to myself.”
———————————————————————————————————————

You can see how this person is struggling with a battle against bipolar disorder. On the one hand, they want help. On the other hand, the bipolar works to stop the person from getting help. It is complicated indeed!

I find that in these situations, supporters have to make huge efforts to get their loved ones into the right treatment. It’s like bipolar disorder is your enemy, fighting against you all the time, and doesn’t want you to win, so in order to help your loved one, you have to step up your efforts every time the bipolar does (which seems to be all the time sometimes).

You can just feel the pain that this person in the post is going through. All the “on the one
hand” and then “on the other hand,” whether they say it or not. They are so confused! I bet your loved one goes through the same thing. The most important thing is not only that they get
treatment, but that they get the right treatment. Not only that, but they have to be cooperative with their treatment.

This person talked about the many professionals they sought for treatment. But then they said, “I have found that instead of working with these professionals, I have worked against them. Instead of trying to make things better, I have only made them worse.”

One of the ways you can help your loved one is to encourage them to work with the professionals trying to help them. Tell them that they need to be part of their own treatment, or it won’t work, and they can’t get better – that they have to be HONEST with their treatment team.

First of all, if they don’t go to their appointments, they will NEVER get better, because how can they get ANY help at all? Tell your loved one that as much as you love them, that you can’t help them all by yourself – that they need these professionals to help them, too.

Maybe you can even show your loved one this email and let them read the post from “tried them all,” so they can see how they might end up if they don’t cooperate with their own professionals.
Let them see some of the things that this person said.

I’m sure your loved one doesn’t want to hurt themselves emotionally and physically like this
person says they’ve done. I’m sure your loved one doesn’t want to do hurtful things in “anger turned inward” to hurt themselves or you.

Or to be like this person who goes on to say, “I have lost the love of many. I no longer have the people and things that have meant most to me.” Maybe you should tell your loved one that you
don’t want them to turn out like that. That you don’t want them to lose you, but that if they
continue not to seek help for their bipolar disorder, that they might lose you anyway.

I know that seems harsh, but many supporters have left their loved ones because, without
proper treatment, their loved ones got worse, not better. I know you want your loved one to get better. I know that you love them, or you wouldn’t be with them.

One of the hardest things, supporters tell me, is getting their loved one into treatment. This post shows what happens when a person with bipolar disorder doesn’t get the treatment they need, or the right treatment.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews668/

Inflexible thinking in ADHD blamed on bipolar disorder
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Sunshine can make you happy
DO> Good tips for better moods.

Mental disorders may boost men’s heart disease risk
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Genetic counseling could help bipolar patients adapt
DO> Good information for you to know.

Shared genetic risk for bipolar and alcohol use disorders
DO> Don’t you think this will help us in the future?

Scientists created camera test for the diagnosis of mental illnesses Information-Analytic Agency NEWS.am
DO> Isn’t this an exciting breakthrough?

Marker for inflammatory bowel disease linked to bipolar disorder
DO> Don’t you think this is an important study?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews668/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave