Bipolar Supporter Blog

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews681/

Parents with bipolar disorder feel control by monitoring kids’ moods
DO> Important information for you to know, especially if you are a parent with bipolar.

Inflammation and stress combine in bipolar and schizophrenia subtypes
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Studies in developmental disorders show men are the weaker sex
DO> This video will interest you.

Pregnant women with bipolar disorder face ‘extra challenges,’ study shows
DO> This study is significant because it “confirms that substance abuse and suicidality are active problems in perinatal women with bipolar disorder.

Bipolar but no need to suffer in silence
DO> Here is one man who is doing something about the need for education and support for bipolar.

AIM subscale scores measure affective intensity in bipolar I, II
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Compensatory brain mechanisms at play in siblings of bipolar patients
DO> Good information to know if you are a sibling of a bipolar patient, or if you have a child who is a sibling of one.

New gene for bipolar disorder discovered
DO> The scale of this investigation is unparalleled worldwide.

Innovative study uses pharmacogenomic test to treat patients with psychotic disorders
DO> These results make you think, don’t they?

Researchers closer to improving safety, effectiveness of lithium therapy
DO> Some important new information about lithium that you might like to know.

Executive dysfunction in bipolar disorder not solely mood dependent
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Distinct motor activity patterns for bipolar depression and mania
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews681/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Have you ever noticed that sometimes things are black and white? They’re just plain that way. Easy to see the answer. Or the information. Or the subject. Or whatever. But other things are kind of gray…Like “in-between…” Or not so easy to see. Not so easy to tell the answer. Or to discern the information. Or to understand the subject. Or whatever.

Sometimes we can feel downright lost, can’t we? Or even feel like maybe everyone else sees the
answer except us. That can be really frustrating. It’s especially hard for older people, because they’re always saying: “In the old days…” Or, “Back in the day…” Or, “In my time…” Because to them, things were simpler then. They could see things clearer. To them, things are more complicated now.

And to us, well…I guess that’s the way things can seem to us as well sometimes. Especially when we’re dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder. It’s not always clear what to do. It helps to get advice from people who have been where you are. They can offer you help and advice because they know what you’re going through.

That’s why I advise going to a bipolar support group. Being around people going through the same thing that you are can help sometimes. Maybe you’re struggling with an issue, and someone in the group has struggled with that issue, and they tried something with their loved one and it worked with them. So maybe you can try it with your loved one too, and maybe it will work for you too. That’s how it works.

You not only get support in a support group, but sometimes you get really good advice too. It helps for those times when you’re struggling with something, and you just don’t know what to do. It helps to know someone who’s already been there and gone through it.

Sometimes just bouncing things off a close friend or family member can help as well. That’s why I recommend that you develop your own support system (your loved one should also have
their own). You should have people that you can go to and talk to and tell them how you’re feeling. It helps not to keep things in.

They can also offer more than just encouragement – sometimes they can give some pretty good concrete advice. Maybe even something you didn’t even think of.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews680/

Residual symptoms linked to poor functioning in euthymic bipolar disorder
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Further support for hippocampal volume as psychosis biomarker
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Amherst Man Sentenced on Burglary Conviction in Fluvanna
DO> Do you think this is fair?

BDNF abnormalities may predict bipolar disorder
DO> You’ll find some important information here.

More support for interhemispheric disconnectivity in bipolar disorder
DO> You’ll see an interesting difference between men and women.

Diagnostic errors common among patients with bipolar disorder
DO> Doesn’t this bother you?

Inflammation and stress combine in bipolar and schizophrenia subtypes
DO> This study reveals something very interesting.

Bipolar disorder led Vancouver man to send hoax powder to politicians, comedians, he says
DO> This man’s story will shock you.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews680/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Do you remember Play-Dough? I think it’s even still around today! I remember having a blast playing with it as a kid. There was so much you could do with it! There were so many colors it came in. There were so many different shapes you could make it go into. Especially if you bought the special molds. But even if you didn’t, you could always use Mom’s cookie cutters,
couldn’t you?

The thing is…Some kids could spend hours using their imaginations and making all kinds of things with Play-Dough. Other kids would play with it for a little while and then lose interest and go on to something else. And then there were other kids who would just EAT it! LOL Just kidding…

But what I’m getting at is that different people, if given the same circumstances, will react in different ways. Just like those children, given the same toy. Like everyone with bipolar disorder is different, so the same medication/treatment is not going to work the same for everybody.

So think about how that relates to you, as a supporter. On the one hand, I hope it would be good news to you to find out that you are NOT alone. There are SO many other supporters of a loved one with bipolar disorder out there. I know, because I get emails and letters from thousands of them. So no, you are not alone. And that should be good news.

Because I know that sometimes I felt, when I was dealing with my mom as her supporter, that I was alone in what I was trying to cope with. And when I found out that there were actually
millions of people that had bipolar disorder, it was a revelation to me. I just didn’t know that.
So just knowing that helped.

But it was still hard going through being a supporter to my mom. It’s still hard for you, isn’t it?
The daily ups and downs…The mood swings…The bipolar episodes…The unpredictability…
The financial pressures…The impulsive acts…And maybe just the fact that your loved one
got diagnosed with bipolar disorder turned your life upside down.

I know it has for some supporters. I know in some cases, their loved one makes it really hard for them at work, too. That might be part of the problem for you, as well. But you hang in there, don’t you? In spite of all the problems, you still hang in there. Because you feel like you have no choice.

So you try your best, sometimes just to get through the days. But sometimes you think that maybe your best just isn’t good enough. So maybe you start to compare yourself with other supporters. Maybe you hear about other supporters in your support group and you think they are doing better than you are, so you want to be like them.

But I’m here to tell you…That’s not the right way to think. Mostly because everybody is different, and you don’t know what’s really going on with them. They might be struggling just as much as you are!

They might even be jealous of you! So just keep doing the best that you can, and hopefully
things will eventually get easier for you. Just don’t compare yourself to others, because
everybody is different.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews679/

Comorbid OCD and bipolar disorder should be treated as mood disorder
DO> Interesting study, don’t you think?

Higher risks among perinatal women with bipolar disorder
DO> Good information for you, especially if your loved one gets pregnant.

Treatment priorities set in new national research effort
DO> Important study, don’t you agree?

Region of the brain essential for social memory is identified
DO> You’ll find these results interesting.

Psychoeducation reduces internalised stigmatisation in bipolar patients
DO> This study reveals something very interesting.

Residual symptoms linked to poor functioning in euthymic bipolar disorder
DO> These results make you think, don’t they?

Older Dads at Higher Risk For Kids With Psychiatric Problems: Study
DO> Shocking results, don’t you think?

$700000 deal reached in death of jailed bipolar man
DO> Do you think this is fair?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews679/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

At Christmastime we see and hear the sentiment “Peace on Earth Goodwill Toward Men…”
But when you’re dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder, don’t you sometimes wish you
could have “Peace on Earth” all year round? Yes, when you have a loved one with bipolar
disorder, there will inevitably be times when there won’t be peace between you. Unfortunately, there will be times when your loved one won’t even be at peace with themselves.

That’s one of the problems when they’re first diagnosed, in fact. Usually they are finally
diagnosed because they are either in, or just coming out of, a major bipolar episode. During a bipolar episode, especially a manic one, they can do things they’re not very proud of. This
can leave them not feeling very good about themselves.

In fact, just the fact that they have a mental illness can affect their self-esteem in a negative way and cause them to feel bad about themselves, so that even long after they’re diagnosed with bipolar disorder they may still struggle with self-esteem issues. In fact, poor self-esteem can be one of the indicators of having bipolar disorder to begin with.

Because your loved one struggles with their own self-esteem, they probably have a poor self-image as well, so they probably have a problem seeing you for who you really are. This leads to a problem with trusting you. That is, they will naturally not trust you. This will lead to problems in the relationship, of course. Which probably explains at least one of the reasons why you may fight so often.

Another reason could be that their problems with poor self-esteem and lack of trust lead to insecurities. They find it hard to believe that you really care about them in spite of their bipolar disorder. They know that sometimes their behavior is not acceptable (like getting agitated and angry, or some of the things they do in a bipolar episode, for example), but they still do it anyway, then they get mad at themselves for doing that behavior, and then take that anger out on you – it’s just a vicious cycle of bipolar behavior.

Definitely NOT “Peace on Earth,” is it? Problems with anger and rage can be a symptom of a bipolar manic episode. This can be controlled by medication that will control the mood swings and hopefully prevent episodes. But the issues behind the emotional side of your loved one’s anger, like their anger at having bipolar disorder, for instance, can be worked out in therapy.

Therapy will help them learn how to appropriately channel that anger and rage and how to handle those negative feelings in the right way, and not to take them out on you.

Medication can also help in some instances; say, for example, if anxiety and stress are the root cause and have led up to the anger and rage, then medication can help curb the anxiety. The important thing is for your loved one to get treatment for their bipolar disorder. Without treatment, there is no hope for them to ever get better – for them ever to find peace with
themselves, much less for there to be peace between the two of you (i.e., less fighting).

And I’m sure you would like there to be less fighting, as most supporters of a loved one with bipolar disorder do. They report that fighting is one of the most common symptoms of their loved one’s disorder and the cause of dysfunction in their relationship.

Many supporters take their loved one’s anger personally, which they shouldn’t do. Don’t take it personally. In most cases, they really aren’t mad at you, but just mad in general, or mad at their disorder, or mad at themselves, etc. And if you take it personally, you may be apt to want to get mad at them right back, which will just cause more fighting and just make things worse, not accomplishing anything.

Your loved one needs to learn how to deal with conflict in a relationship in a healthy way (i.e.
communicating about it), instead of fighting about it, which also just makes things worse. So that’s another thing they can learn in therapy. Therapy will also teach them how to have a healthy relationship with you in spite of their bipolar disorder, and how to communicate effectively with you, which they may also need to learn.

It may be very difficult for you to even imagine there being peace with your loved one, but don’t
give up hope. With treatment (medication and therapy), it is possible that your loved one can learn how to cope and deal with their bipolar disorder issues.

First, they need to come to terms with their past. For one thing, this means that they need to let
go of things they can’t control. They may seem to you to be a very controlling person, and this too may be a source of contention between you. They may even try to control you, because they
feel like they have no control over anything else in their world. I’m not saying this is right, just that it might explain some of their behavior.

This is something else that they should be working on in therapy. Hopefully, by working on past issues, it will help them to deal with the present easier, and they will stop being so controlling.
As they progress in their therapy, this and other issues will get better, and there will be more
peace in their life and between the two of you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

If you haven’t found out already, you will probably find out that if you’re a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder, lots of people will say you’re crazy. First of all they’ll say your loved one is crazy, because many people still don’t understand about bipolar disorder, or mental illness in general, so they still call people with a mental illness “crazy.”

Then they’ll say that you’re crazy, too, for “putting up” with them. Many would even probably think you should leave them (because that’s what they would do). Even your friends and/or family might do this. So don’t expect to get much reassurance or support from these people who say (or think) these things.

And many times you can expect to feel very alone when you’re dealing with a loved one who has bipolar disorder. That’s why it’s important to have your own support system outside of your loved one’s support system.

The important thing is that YOU know you’re not crazy (although sometimes you might feel
like you are ) But that leads me to my point.

I had someone ask me the other day if a supporter can “catch” bipolar disorder from their loved one. Really. She did ask me that! I told her you can’t “catch” bipolar disorder like you can catch the flu from someone else, but yes, if you live with someone who has the disorder, you may find yourself picking up some of their behaviors.

Like you might find yourself more moody than you used to be. For another example, you don’t have bipolar disorder or major depression, but you may find yourself depressed more often. Or you may have been a relaxed, calm person before, able to handle a lot of things, but now find yourself stressed-out more often than you used to.

Maybe you never suffered from anxiety before, but now you do. You might even be on medication for it. You might find yourself getting more headaches than you used to get (or even migraines) that you have to take medication for, which could be a sign of stress from bipolar disorder (your loved one’s).

If you look at the signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder, you’ll see that there are some that you can begin to “mimic” if you live with someone with the disorder as their supporter. Again, it’s not that you’re catching bipolar disorder or anything, and I’m not suggesting that you’re developing bipolar disorder yourself.

I’m just saying that, as a supporter, you can begin to have some of them without actually having the disorder (just from being a supporter). Again, this also does NOT make you crazy, either!

There may be times that you seem to have more energy, and you may super-clean the entire house in a single day. But that doesn’t mean you’re in a bipolar manic episode. You may have insomnia, but that doesn’t make you manic, either.

And just because you have a little bit of extra money and choose to spend it on yourself for
some clothes, doesn’t mean you’re on a manic shopping spree. You have more control over the money than someone in a bipolar manic episode.

You might be super tired and spend an entire Sunday in bed (you might even feel lazy and do
the same thing, because you feel you deserve it from working so hard Monday through Friday),
but that doesn’t mean you’re in a bipolar depressive episode.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Other people may call you crazy, or they may even call you bipolar, but it’s only out of their own ignorance. You know the truth.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews678/

Gene mutation increases disorders risk tenfold
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Local shootings spark gun law concerns
DO> You will find this man’s story shocking.

Highland Park’s Napier channels disorder into art
DO> This woman’s story will inspire you.

UCLA researchers searching for genes that cause bipolar disorder
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Coach, wife team up to battle bipolar disorder
DO> This man’s story is very interesting, don’t you agree?

Genius or madness?
DO> These results make you think, don’t they?

Support for progranulin role in bipolar disorder
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Jan Green, Bipolar Mother Of Four, Was Locked In Solitary Confinement For Years Without Being …
DO> This woman’s story will shock you.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews678/

POST RESPONSES TO THE NEWS HERE

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

It’s obvious that things like a heart attack or stroke would be considered a trauma, wouldn’t you
agree?

Well, experts liken the following things to trauma level as well:

• Change in job
• Marriage
• Divorce
• Having a baby
• Graduating from school
• Buying a house
• Getting a new car
• Moving
• Having an operation
It’s easy to see how these things might be considered so, when you think of it in light of the fact that they are all major changes in a person’s life. But the reason they consider these things actual
traumas is that they elicit physical responses in people – remember the old “fight or flight”
response? Well, it’s something like that. They can bring about high anxiety or nervousness,
and high amounts of stress in a person’s life.

When facing something like a trauma, like one of the things I listed above, or any major change,
your loved one may experience an actual bipolar episode. If they do, they may start taking things out on you, just because you are the person closest at hand. Believe it or not, they may treat you poorly because they trust you so much. I know that it sounds like a contradiction, but it’s true.

It could also be because you’ve accepted this behavior in the past, so they feel that they can
do it again and get away with it. If you have let them get away with poor treatment of you in the past, they have no reason to believe that you won’t accept it in the future.

It doesn’t even have to go that far. For example, it could be anything to get their way. Say your loved one doesn’t get their way. So they pick a fight with you. And you give in, so they get what they want. This way they learn that every time things don’t go their way, all they have to do is fight with you, and they will get what they want.

All you’ve done is reinforce their negative behavior, whether you meant to do it or not. I’m sure you don’t like this. You probably want this to stop. So what can you do about it? Well, stop it, of course! But how?

Well, you need to set limits. And you need to establish consequences for poor behavior. Then you need to be consistent in meting out those consequences if your loved one breaks the limits you have set. It’s almost like dealing with a child. What did your parents do when you were a child and you threw a tantrum? Well, for certain you didn’t get what you wanted. In other words, they set a limit. Then you probably either got spanked, or they just ignored you (didn’t reinforce your negative behavior).

In other words, you paid a consequence for breaking the limit they set. You need to do the same thing with your loved one. Say you want them to stop fighting with you and getting their own way. So you might say something to them like: “I love you, but if you insist on fighting with me every time you don’t get your own way, I’m going to ignore you when you do that.”

You have established a limit (their fighting)…And a consequence of their behavior (you will ignore them). You could even make sure they understand what will happen if they do it again by having them repeat it back to you.

Then comes the crucial part. The very next time they fight with you, you MUST ignore them!
And you must do it every single time they fight with you, until they stop the behavior. When they see that this no longer works, believe me, they will stop doing it.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

Remember those old TV shows that had robots in them? (This was before we had the current computer generated imaging with its perfect robots that don’t make any mistakes or anything).
I’m talking about like back when the show The Jetsons was on, if you can remember that far back, or have seen reruns on TV.

So what I’m getting at is if something went wrong with the robot, and it got “stuck,” and it would just keep repeating the same thing over and over again, like a broken record. And everyone would think it was hilarious!

Well, we know that nobody’s perfect. But we’re not robots, either. And when someone goes into a bipolar episode, they don’t just keep repeating the same phrase over and over again, now, do they? That would be ridiculous. But they CAN repeat the same bipolar behavior over and over again.

Over time, you can learn what your loved one’s episode triggers are. Triggers are situations or events that can “trip” or cause your loved one to go into a bipolar episode. Like the Jetsons robot I referred to at the beginning of this post. A sort of “glitch” that can get them caught up. A trip wire, so to speak.

Like, say, your loved one does not do well around crowds. If you take them to a family reunion or a big wedding reception, this could be a trigger for them to go into a bipolar episode. Or stress could be a trigger to an episode for your loved one, so you need to avoid situations or events
that can cause stress for them.

Lack of sleep is one of the biggest triggers to a bipolar episode for people who have the disorder, so it’s especially important to maintain a good sleep schedule. So it’s very important not only to know your loved one’s bipolar episode triggers, but to watch for them. But it’s just as important to be aware of their personal signs and symptoms of episodes.

There are general signs and symptoms of bipolar depressive and manic episodes that everyone should know, but not everyone with bipolar disorder will experience all of these signs and symptoms. So you should be aware, over time, of which ones your loved one exhibits when they are heading for a bipolar episode.

In other words, what might look like just “tired” to someone else, might signal a bipolar depression to you, since you know your loved one so well. And, knowing their pattern, you can help them do something about it before it goes on too long and gets out of control.

If they seem confused or disoriented, or their thought patterns unusual, you should know that this could be a sign of a bipolar episode for them. It might not be for someone else, but if it is for them, you should be able to jump into action and know what to do to avoid a full-blown bipolar episode for your loved one.

Sometimes, it’s normal to have a burst of energy. It’s great sometimes – it helps you to get things done. But for your loved one, it might indicate the beginning of a bipolar manic episode. Over time, by studying their repetitive bipolar behavior, you will learn that. You will know which is episodic behavior for them and which is not. Yes, a burst of energy may not be indicative of an episode. But in another case it might be. Only you can know the difference for your loved one
because of their past repetitive behaviors.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave