Bipolar Supporter Blog

EASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews707/

Cyclothymic temperament linked to suicidality
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Life events may worsen bipolar I disorder course
DO> This study reveals something very interesting.

Bipolar man gets 6 years prison for fatal stabbing of stepfather during altercation
DO> Do you think this sentence was fair?

$13K restitution ordered in Banksy defacement case
DO> Do you think the bipolar made him worse?

Recovery-focused CBT aids bipolar patients
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Survey finds benefits, risks of yoga for bipolar disorder
DO> This practice might help your loved one.

Stress coping strategies may protect against bipolar disorder recurrence
DO> This study makes an important point.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews707/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting: http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

 

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I recently received the following email:

Hi David,

I never have written back to you so I first wanted to thank you for all your great articles on BP. I also have a suggestion for something to look into. Have you ever written about the problems of single people with bi-polar who have financial problems. I see lots of great ideas for people who
have a strong support network of family and spouses but I haven’t seen anything recently on the issues of single parents, singles and financial management for someone who has to earn enough money to pay for every penny of living expenses and mortgage and manage their Bi-polar. I’ve had to amend my schedule and work a lower paying job to reduce the stress, but I can’t afford not to work full-time.

i hope you have some good ideas for people like this?

Thanks,

Beth

——————————————————————————————————————
Beth does raise some good points in her email, and asks some really good questions, and they should be addressed.

One area where you can save money right away is in the area of prescription medications. Even if you have a prescription plan or Medicare, you still have to pay some money out-of-pocket for your bipolar medications, and that can run into a lot of money, especially if you’re on several medications.

For Beth and people like her, who are only working part-time, or who cannot work at all (or who are on Disability and only have a limited income), you can contact the drug manufacturers directly for what is called a Patient Assistance Program.

For example, Astra-Zeneca, manufacturers of the bipolar medication Seroquel, have a Patient Assistance Program called AZ and Me.

Each manufacturer has its own regulations, so you need to check with your drug manufacturer for details. If you’re not sure who makes your medication, just ask your pharmacist, and they can tell you.

There are also prescription cards available to you to help you pay for your prescriptions. For example, there is a prescription card that is available on a county by county basis. You can find out about these discount prescription cards by going to www.needymeds.org There is also other prescription help available that that website can direct you to.

So, saving money on prescriptions can definitely help you stretch your dollar.

Also, your doctor can sometimes give you free samples of medication if you ask them. Sometimes, the drug manufacturers will also give you a free 30-day supply of a medication (with a prescription) – you need to contact the drug manufacturer directly to find out if they offer this, however.

Another idea is to get a “medication sponsor” from your family – someone who might be willing to help you get your medication for, say, a month or two to help you out. They can even pay the pharmacy directly if they want to.

You can make your dollar stretch further by going to food banks and getting free food as well. This can be done on a continuing basis. Every community has these – check with your local Red
Cross or United Way to find out where your local food banks are. Usually the only requirement is that you are low income.

You should be able to lower your power bill by asking to go on budget billing (most power companies now offer this service) – where they will average your monthly usage and you pay a lower monthly amount.

Single parents can sometimes get daycare on a sliding scale. Some churches offer day care for less as well.

For some people with low income on Medicare, some doctor/psychiatrists and therapists will offer services on a sliding scale as well.

It goes without saying that you need to keep excessive spending to a minimum (such as credit card debt) and to try to live within your means. If you already have credit card debt, try to pay it off so that will eliminate one bill that you have to pay every month.

Scale down to only what is necessary, and sell off the rest. Have a yard sale and/or put your clothes in a consignment shop for extra income. You might even want to consider selling things over the Internet for extra income.

Although it is difficult to make it financially when you are a single person with bipolar disorder, it can be done. Hopefully, these suggestions will help you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

I’m lucky. My workers are all virtual. That means that they work from home in other places –
they don’t actually work in an office with me here. So I don’t have to listen to complaints like other employers do. Some employers even put up a Suggestion Box.

Unfortunately…Most of the time they don’t really get suggestions they can use. The business owners I have talked to tell me that the Suggestion Box is pretty much useless, actually. That doesn’t mean that I don’t ask for suggestions from the people that work for me.

Oh no…On the contrary. I’m constantly asking them for suggestions on how we can improve things. And I respect their suggestions, because I respect them. Because they’re not complainers.
See…That’s the thing. You have to know how to effectively state your complaint.

Actually…You have to be able to state your NEED. You wouldn’t like it if all your loved one did was complain all the time, would you? Well…They sure won’t like that coming from you, either. So you have to do what’s EFFECTIVE. And what’s effective is stating your need instead.

If you state your need instead of just complaining, that will be more effective, and most likely will not lead to a fight.

For example: Say you feel frustrated. And part of that frustration is coming from the fact that you’re around your loved one so much that you feel like their bipolar disorder is smothering
you (a common feeling for a bipolar supporter to feel). So you want some time to yourself.

Instead of complaining: “I never get any time to myself!” You can say: “I’d really like to have some time to myself. I think that would really help me. Would that be possible?”

Do you see the difference? If you were to do it the first way, you would not only be complaining, but you could come off as being argumentative. This could make your loved one feel defensive.
And could very well lead to a fight.

But in the second case…You are just stating your feelings and stating your need. You are actually even asking for their help. This changes things. It actually involves your loved one. It makes them want to help you. And should not lead to a fight.

You can also use this method in reverse. When your loved one says something that comes
off as complaining, try to look past the complaint to see what their real need is.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews706/

Type 2 diabetes adds to hospital mortality risk in bipolar patients
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Grandmother: Stargell was doomed ‘doomed from the womb’
DO> Do you feel sorry for this man?

Family of inmate who hanged self in closet sues VT
DO> Could you have seen this coming?

Cyclothymic temperament linked to suicidality
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Life events may worsen bipolar I disorder course
DO> This study reveals something very interesting.

Experimental UC Davis Therapy Treats Depression With Magnets To Head
DO> This therapy could help your loved one.

How Realizing Her Bipolar Was A Medical Condition — And Not A Spiritual Failing — Helped This …
DO> This woman’s story will inspire you.

“I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother” writer Liza Long: I’m not scared of my son anymore
DO> Do you agree with this mother’s point?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews706/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

You know, we usually think of supporters as having a certain special characteristic – COMPASSION.

We think of them as having compassion, since they are supporters, after all. But today I want to talk to both supporters and people who have bipolar disorder as well, as everyone should have compassion, don’t you think?

Some people I think are just born with compassion. And some people are more compassionate than others. But then some people just have to learn how to be compassionate.

One way to do that is to practice compassion, whether you feel it or not. And nothing helps us build our character more than developing compassion for others.

Compassion is a sympathetic feeling. It’s when you have sympathy for other people. It can just start with willingness. If you just have the willingness to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, you’ll take the focus off yourself and you can imagine what it’s like to feel like them, experience what they experience, struggle with what they struggle with, have the problems they have.

So what does this have to do with bipolar disorder? Try to imagine those people who you don’t think understand what you’re going through.

Maybe you don’t think they have much compassion toward you. They probably don’t, because they haven’t imagined what it’s like to be in your shoes, go through what you go through, experience your problems and struggles, etc.

It’s up to you to educate them. You have to educate other people on bipolar disorder because they aren’t going to learn it on their own.

They need to be willing, too, to take the focus off themselves and to imagine what it’s like to be
someone who has bipolar disorder, and to feel compassion for that person.

Compassion can be learned. It’s the recognition that other people’s problems, their frustration and pain, are every bit as real as our own – and many times even worse. It means stopping being selfish.

Compassion is something you can develop with practice. You get better with it over time. If you have it in your heart, it will come out in your actions.

Like me, for example. I’m not bragging, believe me, really, I’m not. I’m just using myself as an example. I mean, I sure don’t do what I do for the money, because I’m no millionaire!  But I do care about people who have bipolar disorder.

So I have compassion toward people with the disorder. So I volunteer at several bipolar support groups. That’s the action part.

Being compassionate is who you are. Having compassion is what you do about it. When you see that your loved one is struggling about something and it tugs at your heartstrings, that’s compassion. Then the action part is what you do about it.

You can go to them and ask how you can help them. You can just be there for them. You can be supportive in any number of ways. You can simply be a good listener for them.

Maybe there are specific ways in which they need your help. Maybe there are certain things you can do for them.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews705/

Sleep drunkenness disorder may affect one in seven
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Aberrant reward processing likely to precede bipolar symptom onset
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Children of Bipolar Parents Have Increased Novelty-Seeking and Impulsivity
DO> You’ll find this interview informative.

Optimal personalised treatment improves bipolar life quality, functioning
DO> This study reveals something very interesting.

Aberrant reward processing likely to precede bipolar symptom onset
DO> This study makes an important point.

Type 2 diabetes adds to hospital mortality risk in bipolar patients
DO> These results make you think, don’t they?

Middlesex University student invents gadget to help bipolar sufferers
DO> This device could help your loved one.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews705/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Did you ever have a time in your life when things were going along a certain way, but then all of a sudden things changed? For example: You had plans for a certain career, but then found yourself in a totally different career than the one you had foreseen yourself in?

Or…Had you imagined marrying a certain type of person, but found yourself instead married to a completely different type of person than the one you imagined you would marry?

These are just examples. But you get what I mean. The thing is…We can’t plan for every eventuality in life. Sometimes, no matter what we do, the unexpected happens. Things change.
And there’s nothing we can do to help that.

There’s something important you need to know about bipolar disorder, in case your doctor didn’t tell you. Bipolar disorder can change. There are different kinds of bipolar disorder. And you can be diagnosed with one type of bipolar disorder, but as you get older, you can actually end up with a different type of bipolar.

Here’s a case study: Sylvia had bipolar disorder for most of her life, but wasn’t diagnosed with it until she was older. When she went into bipolar episodes, she always went into manic episodes,
though. She never experienced the bipolar depressions she heard so much about.

However, when she was well into her 60’s, Sylvia experienced a bipolar depressive episode that thoroughly confused her, since she had never had one before. It was a particularly bad one, where she couldn’t even get out of bed for three weeks.

When she eventually came out of it, she asked her psychiatrist about it, and he said that since she was older now, her bipolar disorder had changed. They went over her triggers and found out that, in fact, her age did have something to do with her depression.

——————————————————————————————————————–

Here’s the thing about aging and bipolar disorder. As you get older, there are other issues that affect you other than just your bipolar disorder, but that can contribute to a bipolar episode.

For one thing…You’ve heard of “senior moments,” right? Where you start to have memory problems as you get older? Some people do get depressed over that issue.

Another thing that can lead to depression in older adults is not being able to do the things they used to do just because of the aging process itself. At first there can be a sense of denial, and they might still try to do those things…But then get frustrated when they find that they can no longer
do them.

There might even be some anger before there is the inevitable acceptance. Or they might experience depression, especially if they have bipolar disorder.

The “Empty Nest Syndrome” can contribute to a bipolar depressive episode, too. As children get older and leave home, your role changes, and that can cause problems, even making you depressed if it’s hard for you to accept the new change and the fact that your children (and you) are getting older.

Physical illnesses beset older people more frequently as well, and that can be a cause for depression. There are normal things like high blood pressure and high cholesterol that older people have to contend with, but there is also the fear of stroke and heart attack as well.

All these things can combine to give a person with bipolar disorder the risk of having a bipolar depressive episode even if they’ve never had one before.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

You know, there are two kinds of love: Conditional love and unconditional love. I want to use two case histories to illustrate my point today (but not their real names). See if you can spot the differences.

John and Mary are married, and Mary has bipolar disorder. Whenever Mary “behaves,” (as John calls it), in other words, when Mary is not in a bipolar episode or has no bipolar symptoms or behavior, John treats her well.

He does things with her, he takes her out to dinner, they do things with friends and family, he buys her presents, he talks nice to her, etc.

But when Mary is in an episode, or shows bipolar symptoms or behavior, John doesn’t treat her well at all. Like when Mary is depressed, John tells her to “snap out of it,” or says, “You could be happy if you really wanted to be.”

If Mary goes manic and spends too much money, John screams and yells at her for doing so, and even Sometimes calls her names. No more presents, no more dinners, no more time with friends and family, no more comfortable alone time, either.

There is tension between them all the time, and they fight all the time, usually about trivial things. Then when Mary is better again, John goes back to treating her nice again. Because of this, Mary cannot seem to stay stable with her bipolar disorder.

———————————————————————————————————————

Jill and George are married, too, and George has bipolar disorder. To Jill, it doesn’t matter if George is in a bipolar episode or showing symptoms or behavior of his bipolar or not, she treats him the same.

She is supportive, kind, and loving. She listens to him when he wants to talk, or simply sits with him when he doesn’t want to talk but just wants company.

Jill and George do everything together. When George is not in an episode or showing bipolar symptoms or behavior, they go for long walks in the park, they visit friends and family, they go out to dinner, they play board games or cards, they go to the movies, and just enjoy each other’s company.

When George is in an episode or showing symptoms or bipolar behavior, Jill is still by his side – she doesn’t change the way she treats him at all, even though they can’t do all the things they would normally be able to do. She rides out the storm with him, whatever that takes.

Because of this, George is pretty stable with his bipolar disorder.
——————————————————————————————————————-

Could you spot the differences? Very simply…In the first case, with John and Mary, John’s
treatment of Mary depends on whether she is well or sick. His love is conditional upon her behavior – If she is not in a bipolar episode or showing any bipolar behavior, he treats her well, even buys her presents.

However, if she is in an episode or is showing bipolar behavior, he withdraws that unconditional love and treats her poorly. His love is conditional upon her behavior.

On the other hand, we have Jill and George. Jill’s love for George is unconditional. She treats him the same whether he is in a bipolar episode or showing signs of bipolar behavior or not.
She acts the same way either way, and treats him the same way either way. That’s unconditional love.

I had one supporter who told me this: “I love my wife. I hate her bipolar disorder. These are
two different things.”

That can make it easier to separate your loved one from their disorder, and to have unconditional love for them. Whether your loved one is symptomatic or not, they need your unconditional love.

You need to be able to separate them from their disorder in order to be able to do this. Remember what that one supporter said, how he loves his wife but hates her disorder and how these are two different things. That might help you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews704/

Genetics may underpin psychiatric comorbidity in bipolar patients
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Fitness-related traits in bipolar disorder relatives may explain disease persistence
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Survey of veterans receiving mental health services finds general satisfaction
DO> This survey revealed some interesting results.

Study Pinpoints Substance Use Risk Factors among Teens with Bipolar Disorder
DO> This study makes an important point.

Family calls mental health care “cracked”: Daughter’s cries for help unanswered
DO> You’ll be moved by this woman’s sad story.

Sleep drunkenness disorder may affect one in seven
DO> These results make you think, don’t they?

Aberrant reward processing likely to precede bipolar symptom onset
DO> Don’t you think this is an important study?

Optimal personalised treatment improves bipolar life quality, functioning
DO> Good study, wouldn’t you say?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews704/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I’m going to tell you something, and you may not have thought of it in this way before, but…
BIPOLAR DISORDER IS A THIEF!

The first thing it does is that it robs your loved one of their identity – of their true self. They become this “bipolar self” – this person they weren’t before they were diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Which is hard for you, because they aren’t the same person they are in an episode than they are when they aren’t in an episode, and that can be very, very hard to deal with. So you have to try to remember what they’re like when they’re not in an episode.

It’s not their fault. It’s the fault of the disorder. It’s a thief! It steals your loved one’s real self.

Bipolar disorder can steal your jobs – your loved one’s because they might lose their job either
because their boss might find out they have bipolar disorder, or they can’t keep doing their job because of the disorder and have to go on disability. Or your job because you have to quit it to become a full-time supporter.

Bipolar disorder can steal your financial security. If your loved one goes into a manic episode (and you haven’t taken charge of the checkbook and credit cards), they can go on a spending spree, spend all the money in the checking account, and/or max out your credit cards. You can go broke, lose your car, house, and even go into bankruptcy, in one manic episode.

But, again, I’m telling you: BIPOLAR DISORDER IS A THIEF!

It can steal your friends. Sometimes friends, like society, don’t understand the disorder (or mental illness in general), and they will turn away from you. It’s like they’re scared of your loved one all of a sudden – scared that they’re going to “catch” their bipolar disorder. It’s not even necessarily your loved one’s fault. It’s the fault of the disorder itself.

It can steal your social life. Not just what I just said, but also because your loved one may be
embarrassed in public, or just may be too depressed to go out. Again, it’s the disorder, not your loved one.

It can steal your family. Again, possibly because your loved one is too depressed to go out, but also it may be because they’ve driven away their family because of what they’ve done in episodes, too.

And because of that, it can also steal your family gatherings, so that holidays are especially difficult and probably a very lonely time not only for your loved one, but for you as well. People with bipolar disorder are usually more depressed around the holidays.

It can steal your standing in church and/or in the community. Your loved one may have once thrived in the community and as a leader. Now they may be just a shadow of their old self. Now they may be afraid of what people think of them.

It can steal your intimacy. Not just sex (either because of the depression or the medication), but just the closeness you used to share.

It can steal your trust, because you don’t know what your loved one is doing during a manic
episode, or what the consequences are going to be.

It can steal your fun (when was the last time you had any), and your happiness and enjoyment of life, because of your loved one’s depression and the disorder itself.

It can steal your health – both your loved one’s and your own, because of stress and other health issues that are caused by bipolar disorder.

BIPOLAR DISORDER IS A THIEF!

It can steal your time, when your loved one has to spend time in a treatment facility and/or hospital. It can steal your self-esteem. It can steal your security as well, as you wonder when the next episode will come?

It can steal your loved one’s fulfillment and satisfaction with life, as they struggle with no
sense of productivity. It can steal your dreams…It can steal your lives, as bipolar disorder takes
over your whole lives, and everything begins to revolve around the disorder. Everything I’ve just
talked about.

But worst of all…Bipolar disorder can steal your loved one’s life. If your loved one stops taking their medication, they can kill themselves.

Now do you see why I say that…BIPOLAR DISORDER IS A THIEF!!!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave