Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

I hope you’re having a really great day.

I have some bad news for myself. My dad had a stoke yesterday.

I have to take off and head to the hospital.

Actually I have two problems. My mom was NOT sleeping well over the last week BEFORE this happened to my dad.

Last night my mom was sending me emails after 11:00pm. The fact that my dad had a stroke will probably make things worse. In addition, my mom’s worst period of the year for bipolar is November through early December.

I have to think long and hard and plan for the worst. I have to think of all the possible ways that bipolar could get the upper hand.

I have so many systems in place, I don’t think it’s possible. BUT, bipolar is smart and sometimes there are small cracks in the system that it can slip through and create an episode.

After using my own Doomsday system, I don’t think this is possible anymore.

I told my mom to make sure she takes care of herself.

My dad called me late yesterday from the hospital and did NOT want me to tell my mom to avoid worrying her.

I told my dad that would not be possible because he if did not show up at night she would then worry more.

He said, “ohh, that’s right.”

So she was told.

Hmmm.

We will see I guess.

You know I talk to a lot of people about bipolar disorder, right?  It seems like everywhere I go, I run into someone who has bipolar disorder, knows someone who has it, or is a supporter to a loved one with the disorder.

Well, the other day, this supporter was talking to me about her loved one’s bipolar disorder, and she seemed really troubled.

She said:

“I know you’re going to think I’m a really selfish person for saying this, and I know there’s a lot of people out there who have it worse than I do, but I really don’t care about them. All I care about is my husband and his bipolar and helping him get better, and that takes all my time and energy. Does that make me selfish? Do you think I’m a terrible person?”

——————————————————————-

Well, what do you say to something like that?

First of all, I assured her that she wasn’t the first supporter to express those kinds of feelings to me, because she’s not.

Then I assured her that just because she feels that way does not make her a terrible person.

When you have a loved one with bipolar disorder, your world can become very small to the exclusion of everything (and everybody) else.

Your problems can seem so overwhelming to you that it takes all your time and energy to deal with them.

Your life as a supporter is definitely not an easy one.

When I asked this woman, “What about your support group?”

She said:

“It’s almost the worst there, because mostly all they do is complain. I mean, some of them I feel sorry for, because they have as many problems as I do, but the rest of them I resent. Their loved ones are doing better than my husband, and they’re the ones who complain the loudest. They don’t even try to help me. Maybe I’m not the selfish one – maybe they are.”

I didn’t know what to say.

Bipolar disorder or not, everyone has problems.

And to them, their own problems seem worse than everyone else’s just because they’re happening to them.

That’s why, in my courses/systems, I teach problem-solving techniques, because they’re so important, not just for the person with bipolar disorder, but for their supporter as well.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

There’s a difference between being selfish and “taking care of your own.”

If this woman was truly a selfish person, first of all, I don’t think she would’ve been so concerned about it.

And second of all, if she were really selfish, she would be off doing things she wanted to do instead of taking care of her husband and being a good supporter to him.

But these are just my thoughts.

What do YOU think?

Do you think she’s being selfish?

I’d really like to know.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope you’re having a good day.

About 12 days ago, my mom started noticing some things that were “off.”

She wasn’t feeling too well, so she asked a friend to describe what she noticed about changes in her (my mom’s) recent behavior.

She thought she might be going into a depressed episode.

Well, I’ve told you before that my mom has systems in place.

So the first thing she did was call her therapist and ask her for an emergency appointment, and she was able to see her later that afternoon.

Then she made a list of the symptoms her friend had observed, and she took that list with her to her therapist.

Her therapist said that my mom was in a “rapid cycle” of bipolar disorder.

In my courses and systems, I talk about the different types of bipolar disorder. Rapid cycling is not a type of bipolar disorder in itself, but it just means that your episodes happen more frequently than usual.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
In my mom’s case, this is her “bad time” of the year anyway, so we watch her more closely than usual.

That’s why she was using her system.

And she did the right thing, that when she noticed that something was “off,” or didn’t feel right, she called her therapist and then went to see her.

By doing that, she avoided a full-blown episode.

These are what we call “mini-episodes,” or “relapses.”

But now my mom feels as if she’s failed.

So is a relapse a failure?

NO.

Especially if you’ve followed your system and done everything right.

Remember that with bipolar disorder, there are things you can control, and things you can’t control.

You can’t control the chemical imbalance in your brain.

But you CAN do something about it when the chemicals fire off unexpectedly.

You can do exactly what my mom did.

She didn’t fail. She did exactly what she should have done. And that’s not failure.

In fact, it’s just the opposite.

I’m proud of her for the way she handled the situation.

There was a time in the past when she didn’t have a system, and she would have gone into a full-blown episode.

But because of what she did this time, it shows me that she is following her system, and did the right thing.

We can call this rapid-cycling, or we can call this a mini-episode, or we can just say that my mom just experienced a phase of bipolar depression.

But the point is, she did NOT go into a bipolar depressive episode.

Because she followed her system.

Your loved one should have a system in place as well. And you should be a part of it.

You can help them by watching for signs and symptoms of an episode. Even if they don’t notice that they’re “off,” you can, and you can point it out to them, and encourage them to seek help (early).

And as long as they follow their system, they shouldn’t be going into episodes, either.

At least not as often as they did before their systems were in place.

But you can’t predict what their bipolar disorder is going to do.

Because there still isn’t a cure for the disorder, episodes are going to happen from time to time.

They can be minimized, though, and mini-episodes, or relapses are NOT failures.

Relapses should actually be expected, but if you catch them early (by watching for signs and symptoms of episodes), you can keep your loved one from going into a full-blown episode.

Odd. Guess what?

Hey, I just checked my email and my mom sent one that said how she wasn’t sleeping so she a) scheduled with her therapist b) called her psychiatrist and scheduled an immediate appointment.

My mom said that she is confident that a major gigantic episode like what happened in 2004 will not happen again because of all the systems we have in place.

What do you think?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope you’re doing well.

Guess what?

Yesterday I went hiking like I told you. It started to snow when I was on the mountain and I almost slid off.

Kind of scary.

In addition, I fell in a River with hours required to walk back to my car. I was sooooo cold it was amazing. I had to drive home freezing.

After I got home, and unfroze myself, I was actually talking to my Goddaughter’s mother who was telling me that Anna (my Goddaughter) was afraid of different places in their house.

She was afraid of shadows and also certain toys.

Let me ask you:

Hey remember when you were little, were you afraid of ghosts and goblins?

Things that went bump in the night?

Creepy crawly things?

Scary things under your bed?

Big giants that would come and eat you?

Monsters that hid in your closet?

Huge beasts that could stomp on your house?

Were you afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Now that you’re older, are you afraid of any of those things? Of course not.

You’re an adult now, and you realize that those things were just childish fears of things that didn’t really exist (except in your mind).

Yes, they were childish, and yes, they only existed in your mind, but I bet the fear was very real to you, wasn’t it?

It’s the same thing with bipolar disorder.

For one thing, people fear what they don’t understand.

That’s why one of the first things I teach in my courses/systems is that you have to learn as much as you can about bipolar disorder:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

The more you learn about bipolar disorder, the

less you’ll be afraid of it, because knowledge is power, and power defeats fear!

This is why I have NO problem hiring people with one or more mental illnesses. Have you ever wondered why I do or how I can?

It’s because I have tremendous knowledge on this topic and I am NOT afraid of the individuals.

People who have psychological problems with phobias (fears) or anxiety disorders, learn to overcome them by facing them.

You have to face your fears.

In this case, you have to face your fear of bipolar disorder, of what it does to your loved one, of what it can do to you, to your life, your family, etc.

You have to overcome your fear of bipolar disorder.

As long as you have a fear of the disorder, it has power over you. You have to take back that power! Face that fear head on so that bipolar disorder loses its power over you!

After you’ve obtained knowledge (knowledge is power, remember), you have to obtain tools (some people call this their bipolar toolbox).

In your toolbox you should have:

· Books on being a supporter

· Internet (to looks things up)

· A strong support system (for you as a supporter)

· A healthy diet and exercise

· Friends and family

· Balance in your own life

· Activities of your own

· (possibly) your own job

· A social life

· Church activities (if you are spiritual)

· Hobbies

· Recreational activities

· A journal (to record your thoughts and

feelings)

· Good communication with your loved

one

You can add other things to your toolbox as well, but you get the idea.

Picture a workman carrying a toolbox on his way to work. He looks serious. He looks strong. He’s ready to tackle the big job.

That’s YOU.

You’re ready to take on the big job of fighting bipolar disorder now.

Now, who’s afraid of the Big Bad Bipolar Wolf? lol

NOT YOU!

If you have been on my list for a while, I am sure that you have learned, the more you learn, the less you fear.

Agree?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going today?

What’s new?

I am actually going hiking today so I have to take off pretty quick—because it gets dark earlier these days. I don’t want to get lost in the middle of the woods at night : )

Anyway, you know, one of the worst parts of having bipolar disorder is going through the depressive end of the mood swing.

It’s especially hard on the supporter, because you feel so helpless to do anything about it but to watch your loved one suffer.

You can’t just tell them a joke and make them laugh and it’s all over. It’s just not as simple as that. Or watch a funny movie with them – even if it did bring them out of it, it would only be temporary.

If your loved one had the flu, you could give them medicine to help them feel better.

But there is no “cure” for their depression.

You can encourage them to do things, but they are fighting a real enemy.

And their worst enemy is boredom.

Boredom causes more bipolar depressions than anything else (notwithstanding the chemical imbalance that causes the mood swing).

In my courses/systems below, I talk about To-Do Lists, which are very helpful with keeping the enemy of boredom at bay, and I show you how to do this:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Some people are good at making To-Do Lists and keeping up with them. Larger projects can be broken down into smaller tasks.

Everyday tasks can be big accomplishments for someone when they’re depressed.

What’s important is to keep busy, because boredom is the enemy of bipolar depression.

Sitting in front of the television can deepen a bipolar depression.

Even your trying to make conversation with them can make them more depressed.

One woman who was used to gardening as a way to feel productive (which helped her manage her bipolar disorder) found herself getting depressed during the colder months of the year, until she found some indoor plants that she could take care of year-round. This helped her with her depression.

Another woman who struggled with bipolar depression had been an English teacher before her disorder forced her to go on disability.

Because she had been used to being so busy before, boredom quickly set in, and she struggled with depression greatly.

She began tutoring out of her home, which filled up her time, and her depression lifted.

A man who had formerly run a successful auto shop before his diagnosis of bipolar disorder was overcome by bipolar depression simply out of boredom. There just wasn’t enough for him to do around the house, and he felt useless.

Then one of his friends asked him to work on his car in his garage. One friend led to two, and now he is no longer bored nor depressed.

Another man became the head of his bipolar support group and not only plans the monthly meetings, but also plans outings for both those with the disorder and their supporters and families.

In his downtime, he spends his time researching the Internet for new information on bipolar disorder he can share with the group. No longer bored, his depression has decreased.

Another woman became a literacy volunteer.

Yet another woman began volunteering as a school nurse at her child’s elementary school.

And one woman, who struggled with bipolar depression for years, works for me now. She has become a contributing writer to this website and, although she has had a depressed day here or there, has not had a bipolar depressive episode in almost four years.

Boredom is the enemy of bipolar depression.

But if you think of your talents, you can think of ways to use them so you don’t have to be bored, so you don’t have to be depressed.

Read back over some of these examples. These people aren’t depressed any more. They are helping themselves, their supporters, their families, their communities, and other people.

Boredom doesn’t have to be your enemy if you don’t let it.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope you’re doing ok.

I was talking to this friend who was is a professional complainer. Unfortunately in mental health, there’s a lot of professional complainers. That’s why it’s my job to get these people more positive.

It’s odd in the last week, I have heard many people complaining about so many things that make no sense to me.

If you find yourself complaining a lot, seriously you have to look in the mirror and ask, “what can I do to make things better.” People get super mad when you say that to them because complaining people want you to go along with their complaints.

I always focus on the solution not the problem.

Okay, well, we have a new president.

It doesn’t matter who you voted for, or whether your candidate won or lost.

The fact remains, we still have a new president.

But some people are still complaining about the fact that Obama won! Now, how productive is that?

Seems like some people will complain about anything, no matter what.

But here’s another fact –

Anybody can be president – even YOU!

IF… they want to.

IF… they follow the right path.

IF… they meet the requirements.

IF… they campaign for it.

IF… they are voted into office.

The fact remains, though…

It IS possible!

Why, anyone can be a great pianist, too!

Like the old joke:

“How do you get to Carnegie Hall?”

“Practice, practice, practice!”

But it’s not really a joke.

You can be a great pianist IF you’re willing to do what it takes to be a great pianist.

So, just like being president, IF you want to be a great pianist, it IS possible!

IF you want to…

And IF you do certain things.

Now, in my courses/systems, I teach that stability is possible, too, IF you do certain things.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Let me ask you something:

What did you want to be when you grew up?

The president?

An astronaut?

A ballerina?

A great writer?

An actor?

Then why aren’t you one of those things now?

Because you didn’t do what it took to become it.

Whatever you want to be, you have to do certain things.

So now let me ask you this:

Do you want to be stable with your bipolar disorder?

Then you need to do certain things, just like Obama did to become president.

· You have to learn about the disorder.

· You have to take your medication.

· You have to see your doctor.

· You have to see a therapist.

· You have to have a support system.

· You have to get good sleep.

· You have to eat a good diet.

· You have to exercise.

· You have to be productive.

· You have to have a positive attitude

· And other things.

In other words, you have to learn how to manage your bipolar disorder.

Agree or disagree?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you are doing well.

I am actually sending the news out super early today because I have to get going right away.

Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews404

Another Teen Abandoned In Nebraska
DO> Hmm. Sad story.

Overeating and substance abuse are similar disorders
DO> What do you think of this?

Four new books tell the true stories of mental illness
DO> This is great. The more press on this, the better.

Fallout from a bipolar neighbour
DO> What do you think of this article?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews404

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope you’re having a great day!

I am actually dead tired because I was up to like 2:00am working on stuff.

My computer was driving me out of my mind. It kept turning off and on. I am very angry at it 🙂

Oh, over the next few weeks, I am going to advertising a cool new job. It will be a great for someone with bipolar, depression or multiple mental illnesses. How do I know? Because I already have had one person in this position with 10 mental illnesses and another with 4. It’s for someone who is smart, creative and is a pretty good writer.

I will post it soon.

Oh, NO this doesn’t mean that it is not for someone without a mental illness.

I am an equal opportunity employer just pointing out people with one or more mental illnesses are encouraged to apply.

Someone started a rumor that I only hired people with a mental illness which is not true. I hired someone a month ago without one…so there 🙂

But I do have a lot of people with a mental illness that work for me. That’s true.

Anyway, you’ve heard of One Size Fits All, right?

You’ve probably even tried something that has had a tag on it that says “One Size Fits All,” right?

(Most people have, and found out otherwise).

Here’s a perfect example: T-shirts.

One Size Fits All.

Yeah, right. Until you wash it and find out that One Size Fits ONE – a child!

What about using the One Size Fits All technique on shoes?

Wouldn’t work, would it?

Then why do some doctors treating patients with bipolar disorder try to use the One Size Fits All technique on them?

They prescribe the same medications to all their patients with bipolar disorder!

Back when bipolar disorder was first diagnosed, the first drug prescribed for it was Lithium. Lithium was touted as the “wonder drug” for bipolar disorder.

Until some people had psychotic reactions to it!

Some people did well on that drug (still do), but others didn’t. So the drug companies had to come up with other medications to treat bipolar disorder.

The One Size Fits All technique sure didn’t work with Lithium!

In my courses/systems, I talk about how there are good doctors and bad doctors. A bad doctor will use the One Size Fits All technique and prescribe the same medications for all his patients with bipolar disorder.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Whereas, a good doctor recognizes that different patients have different needs.

If he’s really good, you should feel as if you’re his ONLY patient (while you’re there).

If he’s a good doctor, he shouldn’t just keep prescribing you the same medications every time you see him, year after year after year. There should be changes from time to time.

Otherwise, he too is following the One Size Fits All technique.

Let me ask you something.

When you go to your therapist, do they act bored?

Are they easily distracted?

Do they take phone calls during your session?

Do they do other things while you’re talking?

Just like there can be good doctors and bad doctors, there can be good therapists and bad therapists, too, and these are all signs of a bad therapist, one who is using the One Size Fits All technique – who treats every client with bipolar disorder the same way.

It can even happen in Support Groups! I know, because I’ve been there, and seen it happen.

Mary tells Joe that her sister Lucy found this miracle cure for bipolar disorder, so Joe should put his wife Linda on it right away so she can be cured, too!

Well, first of all, we all know there’s no cure for bipolar disorder, so there’s some kind of scam going on there.

Second of all, just because something worked for so-and-so, doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you.

Why?

Because One Size Does NOT Fit All!!!

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.