Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

Hope you’re doing well.

I have to get going because I have a lot of driving to do today.

Anyway, I got this email:

Hi David,

I just read your email and it reminded me of me years ago. I don’t get that way anymore. I have a great psychologist. I have a new pyschiatrist and I think he is a keeper. I really don’t like psychiatrists but I know if I have a good one I will be OK. I have had bipolar for 37 years. I know everything you say is true. I think it is greatthe work you and your staff do. I hope with you and yourstaff that no one else will have to spend 37 years never knowing what tomorrow will bring…”

Sincerely,
sandie
—————————————————————-

Sandie was writing in response to a horrible hate mail (email) I had received, and she said some other stuff, but I just wanted you to get the gist of her email here (I didn’t want it to seem like I was bragging or anything, I wanted to get to the point of my story here).

In the email I had gotten that she wrote about, the guy had gone on and on about what a terrible person I was and how I was ripping people off and how I was so rich off other people and I wasn’t helping anyone, etc. etc. I mean, none of that is true, of course — I’m only saying that so you can maybe understand more what Sandie is talking about.

But that’s the point of my whole email.

This guy who had written me, I believe, was writing all that stuff because he was off his medication. Only someone with bipolar disorder who is off his medication would write that kind of stuff.

See, like Sandie said…

“it reminded me of me years ago. I don’t get that way anymore. I have a great psychologist.”

Sandie is stable now, because she is following at least one part of the Bipolar Stability Equation – getting a (great) psychologist (or psychiatrist and/or therapist).

That’s one of the things I talk about in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Without following the Bipolar Stability Equation, even the most stable person with bipolar disorder CAN go into a bipolar episode!

So what happened to this man in the other email CAN happen to your loved one, too!

Remember, the most important part of the equation is taking your medication. For that part there is no exception, no room for give or take. Taking medication for bipolar disorder is crucial to stability.

So, if you take medication out of the Bipolar Stability Equation, your loved one CAN go into an episode.

The next thing is therapy. You can choose the TYPE of therapy your loved one takes, but if they do not see a psychiatrist, psychologist (as Sandi said), therapist, or other kind of mental health professional, they CAN go into an episode.

Your loved one should also have a good support system. Of course, they have you, but there should be other people in their support system: family, friends, coworkers (if they still have a job), other volunteer workers (if they do volunteer work), other support group members, a priest or pastor, other people in their church  congregation (if they go to church), another caregiver, etc.

If not, your loved one CAN go into an episode.

They should also be taking care of themselves.

This is another part of the Bipolar Stability Equation. This includes things like eating a healthy diet, exercising, and sleeping right (8-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night).

These are the most crucial parts of the Bipolar Stability Equation. If any of these things are NOT done, your loved one’s “house of cards” will topple, and they CAN go into a bipolar episode.

However, there are also other things that make up the Bipolar Stability Equation as well, and will help to maintain your loved one’s stability.

They should also have outside activities, and do things that are productive, things that make them feel good about themselves.

One of the things I recommend is a To-Do List. They should start slow, with only a few things on the list, otherwise they will feel overwhelmed. Then they can expand the list. Getting outside and doing things keeps them from being so isolated, which is one of the key triggers to a bipolar episode, so make sure that your loved one does some outside activities as well. Send them on some errands – this will help make them feel useful,
and get them out of the house.

Maybe you even have some suggestions of your own that you can share with other supporters of things that have worked for you?

If so, we’d love to hear them!

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How are you doing today?

Well I got a whole bunch of phone calls yesterday about the posts on the bipolar blog at:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog

People were posting threats to one another and negative things about me.

Let me say a few things:

1. We do have moderators and look very closely at what is being posted.

2. If you post a threat, your post will not be approved.

3. If you post negative things about me, that’s okay. Except death threats. About 7 months ago, we banned the posting of all death threats. We had 4 very sick people posting that most crazy things and saying they  were going to kill me. Some even called me as well.

These individuals were extremely ill and totally out of their minds. If you have been on the list for a while you might remember a woman who posted a comment saying that I fly to California and broke into her house and stole money from her and she demanded I pay her back. I know two of the people did go to the hospital and now are doing okay. The other two, I have no idea.

Anyway, in my position, not only do I get threats, I get people saying that I have no idea what I am talking about and that I am part of a huge drug company conspiracy.

Some say that people with bipolar disorder are totally hopeless and that I am giving people false hope when I say they can be successful.

Then there is another group that says that since I advocate people take medication that I am part of giant conspiracy setup by drug companies to medicate everyone on the earth. The idea goes that I am a drug company or I am extension of one or I am controlled by one more more. Something like that. It’s honestly crazy. The people who work for me with bipolar disorder often ask how I put up with this kind of thing and why I allow people to post stuff saying that I am part of this giant conspiracy by unknown and unnamed drug companies.

The reason is because in America we have f.ree speech. So unless you are saying something that is going to hurt others, you can say it. There’s no question sometimes what people low it.

People SHOULD question all I say. They should think about it. They should use my daily emails and information as jumping off points.

If you disagree with me, say so. Write something intelligent. If you don’t think people should take medication with bipolar disorder, say why no and tell what they should do. Write stuff that makes sense. Not nonsense like I am trying to drive up the stock price of all drug companies. That’s called nonsense.

4. If you see posts that make no sense and are total nonsense. If you see things that sound so strange you laugh, you are seeing what happens generally to people who get off their medication and stop their treatment. These individuals can say and do anything. You see it from time to time on my blog.

If you have bipolar disorder and you are doing well, and you see these strange posts, this should motivate you to always follow your treatment plan.

If you are a bipolar supporter, it should motivate you to get your loved one into treatment.

Whether you have bipolar disorder or not, relationships are important to you. If you give love, you get love.

All of us want to feel as if we are important to someone else – whether that relationship is an intimate one with a spouse or boy/girlfriend, or parent or other family member.

To keep your relationships intact and growing, you must do certain things, and these are things I talk about in my courses/systems below, but I’ll outline some of the ideas in this email.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
1. Work on your communication skills a. Learn how to listen actively
b. Learn how to problem solve together
c. Make positive (instead of negative) statements
d. Consider the other person’s position
e. Learn how to compromise

2. Set limits with your spouse/family
a. Learn about boundaries
b. Set limits and stick to them
c. Communicate what is acceptable/unacceptable behavior
d. Stay in control of set limits
e. Establish consequences for breaking of limits/boundaries

3. Stay in control of your disorder
a. Take your medication
b. Continue your treatment plan
c. Make sure you sleep well
d. Live a healthy lifestyle (diet/exercise)
e. Keep all regular appointments with your doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist
f. Keep your stress levels down
g. Watch for triggers
h. Contact your doctor/psychiatrist
if you feel anything is wrong

4. (If married) Insure intimacy is intact
a. Maintain physical intimacy
b. Maintain emotional intimacy (communication)
c. Get marriage counseling if necessary
d. Be spontaneous
e. Don’t let things get boring or complacent

5. Don’t forget the children
a. Tell them that you/your loved one has bipolar disorder
b. Explain it in terms they understand
c. Use age-appropriate language (excited instead of manic, sad instead of depressed)
d. Keep them involved in family activities
e. Don’t hide things from them

6. Don’t forget the family
a. Tell them that you/your loved one has bipolar disorder
b. Stay involved in family activities and gatherings
c. Keep in contact with relatives
d. Don’t hide from the family or be ashamed about your/your loved one’s disorder The point I’m trying to make is this:

You need to work on your relationships, whether you have bipolar disorder or not.

Your family is an important part of your life.

Keep them close to you.

Use the above points to keep your relationships intact.

Don’t hide your/your loved one’s bipolar disorder from them.

Educating your family about the disorder is an important thing to do as well.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope you’re having a great day!

I am actually in North Carolina which for those that don’t live in the US, it’s down towards the southern part of the country.

Anyway there are a ton of big strong looking trees here. I guess it gets really windy and the trees never fall down.

This woman said to me, “I want my son to be strong like these trees.”

She was saying how society seems to be getting more difficult and you need to be strong.

I was of course thinking about bipolar disorder : )

If you’re a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder, you need to…

Be like a tree – STAND STRONG!

A tree takes everything thrown at it:

· Wind
· Rain
· Sleet
· Hail
· Snow
· Storms
· Etc.
…and still it STANDS STRONG!

As a supporter, you get a lot thrown at you, too:

· Medication non-compliance
· Treatment non-compliance
· Difficult loved one
· Social stigma
· Family problems
· Bipolar episodes
· Consequences of those episodes
· Anxiety and stress
· Ingratitude
· Loneliness
· Isolation
· Fear
· (possible) Abuse
· Etc.

So you need to be like a tree, and…

STAND STRONG!

Not just for your loved one, but for yourself!

If you don’t take care of yourself first, how can you take care of anyone/anything else? Your job? Your loved one? Your children? Your family? Your responsibilities?

It is NOT selfish to put yourself first in this case. In fact, if you don’t you could actually become ill, and then where would you be?

You must be like a tree —

STAND STRONG!

Do whatever it takes to keep yourself STRONG –

…to fight off all those things I listed before, because they’re not necessarily going to go away.

A tree stands strong no matter what the elements.

A tree stands strong no matter what comes up against it.

A tree stands strong no mater what the circumstances surrounding it.

You need to be like that tree, and STAND STRONG!

Here are some suggestions from my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

· Learn stress reduction techniques
· However you have to do it, find peace within yourself
· Stay calm no matter what the situation
· Improve your self-esteem
· Use positive affirmations
· Learn good time management skills
· Apply self-improvement
· Take up a new hobby
· Re-establish relationships
· Read books on bipolar disorder
· Read for pleasure
· Renew spirituality
· Have a social life
· Be productive
· Take a long bubble bath
· Spoil yourself
· Relax, relax, relax

In other words…

Do whatever it takes…

So that you can…

Be like a tree and…

BE STRONG!

Let me ask you a question before I take off because I really have to go.

Do you thin it’s better to be strong like a tree or not? Some people get mad and offended when I say this kind of stuff.

Let me know. See you tomorrow.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How are you?

Well I am in Virginia today. It took me 3 hours LONGER than it was suppose to because of traffic and an accident.

I was stopped for like 2 hours.

But, let me get on to the news.

Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews412

Discovering the Truth about Psychological Disorders through a Biblical Perspective on Mental Illness DO>Intersting, article what do you think?

Local Man Helps Students Understand Mental Illness
DO> Great article, don’t you think.

Cathy Weaver Suffers Setbacks In Launching Non-Profit Artrageous
DO>Hmm. What do you think?

FDA Decides Against Warnings on Epilepsy Medication Suicide Risk
DO> Wow this is scary, don’t you think.

Dallas County Probation Program Addresses Addictions, Bipolar Disorder
DO> About time, don’t you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews412
==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope you’re doing ok today.

I am actually driving toe Virginia today so I have to leave right away. It’s a LONG drive.

Hey, here’s a strange question for you:

What if the sun didn’t rise today?

I know, it is pretty strange, huh?

But think about it –

Would it be the worst thing that had ever happened to you?

I have a reason for asking you this question.

Because you know I volunteer at several support groups, right?

Although, sometimes I get so discouraged that sometimes I ask myself, “Why am I doing this?”

And I’ll tell you why.

It’s because some of these people, well, all they do is complain. Like bipolar disorder is the worst thing that has ever happened to their loved one (or could happen). Like their life is over now.

And that gets to me, because what if their loved one had heart disease, or cancer?

Wouldn’t that be worse?

It’s not like bipolar disorder is a death sentence.

But some people act like it is.

So think about the worst thing that has ever happened to you. You made it through it, right?

You must have, because you’re reading this right now!

But some people don’t, because they dwell on the past.

In my courses/systems below, I talk about getting over the past and dealing with what’s happening in your life right now, and how important that is:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
The worst thing that could happen in your life right now, I suppose, would be that your loved one would go into a bipolar episode.

But if you’ve followed my emails and other teachings, you’d be prepared for that to happen.

You would have learned to expect that.

You would have learned to watch for triggers to an episode.

You would have learned to watch for signs and symptoms to an episode.

You would have an Emergency Plan in place in case it does happen.

In other words, even if the “sun doesn’t rise today,” (if your loved one does go into an episode), you would be prepared, and it wouldn’t be the worst thing that ever happened to you.

What do you think?

What’s the worst thing that has ever happened to you, and how did you get through it?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going today?

I was talking to someone the other day who has bipolar disorder and they weren’t doing too well.

I asked them a lot of questions trying to figure out why, but I’ll spare you the gory details.

The bottom line is…

They’re only seeing ONE doctor! I mean, one doctor for EVERYTHING to do with their bipolar disorder!

One doctor.

No psychiatrist.

No therapist.

No counselor.

No social worker.

No spiritual advisor.

NOBODY. Just the one doctor.

Needless to say, I was SHOCKED!

In my courses/systems, I talk about building a strong support system, and how you have to have a whole treatment TEAM in order to get better.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
This person was saying that because their doctor was the one who diagnosed them, he was the only person they trusted to take care of their bipolar disorder.

But then I reminded them that they weren’t getting better only using that one doctor, so something must be wrong with their system!

(Actually, it didn’t seem to me like they had any system to begin with, because you can’t have a system with just one doctor in it.)

You have to have a TEAM of professionals if you’re going to get better with bipolar disorder.

You can’t just have ONE professional on that team.

You need to at least have a doctor, psychiatrist and therapist.

That’s THREE right there!

Because each one has a different job to do, and you need all three to do their individual job for you.

Your medical doctor takes care of the physical side of you.

They are responsible for any side effects from medication, any physical aspects of your bipolar disorder (like headaches, insomnia, etc.), bloodwork you may need to monitor blood levels of bipolar medication in your bloodstream.

They also take care of your physical health.

Just like anyone without bipolar disorder, if you get sick, you go to your medical doctor.

All those things that your medical doctor takes care of for you, well, your psychiatrist and therapist can’t do that.

Your psychiatrist follows your bipolar disorder. They monitor your medications and prescribe them, adjusting them if necessary, and adding new medications the old ones.

Your medical doctor and therapist can’t do that.

Your therapist is responsible for helping you with the issues surrounding your bipolar disorder as well as with your life issues.

They don’t just spend 15 or 20 minutes with you like your medical doctor or psychiatrist. They work with you on a long-term basis as well, and they work with deeper issues. Your medical doctor and psychiatrist can’t do that. So do you see?

Like a puzzle, you need all THREE parts to make up your professional treatment team in order to get better with your bipolar disorder.

You have to have a system. You have to have a team.

And a team does NOT consist of only ONE player!

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I went to a meeting recently with several successful business people.

My goal was to meet up with them and get them to help me with a few aspects of my organization.

My mission was accomplished.

But while I was there, I discovered that one of my friends, who is a really successful business person, was married FOUR (not a typo) times!

Oh, but that’s not the worst of it!

He’s about to get married for the FIFTH (not a typo) time!

So he decided that before he did, he would do the following:

1. Go to extensive therapy

2. Pick 9 friends that had to all agree that it was okay to marry anyone new

3. Make a list of must haves, can’t stands, non-negotiables, and traits that he wanted in his next wife.

4. Understand why he got married and divorced so many times (relying on the therapist to guide him).

———————————————————–

I was thinking about this and thinking about how this concept is perfect for bipolar disorder.

Many times people with the disorder are married multiple times because of the impulsivity of the disorder.

I know of a man who got married in a bipolar episode.

And another woman who did it twice! (not with this other man, of course)

But people who have bipolar disorder do things that they later regret doing and have to pay consequences for.

In my courses/systems I teach about a Post-Episode Analysis (a term I made up), where you sit down with your loved one, and together you analyze the episode and try to figure out how it happened and what you can do about it not happening again.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
That’s kind of like what this man is doing now.

That’s why I was saying that you could relate it to bipolar disorder.

Even if you’re the supporter, and not the one with bipolar disorder, you can still apply this concept to your life.

We all make mistakes.

But you can use this system to analyze why you made the mistake and how you can avoid making the same mistake in the future.

Now, I’m not saying that you’ve been married 4 times or anything…

But you can apply it to other areas of your life, even the simple ones.

You can use it to change a certain behavior you want to change, for instance.

Or to help you deal with your loved one’s behavior.

Say you didn’t deal with a certain situation very well.

List the situation, and what you did.

Then list the things you could have done differently.

Then list how you can avoid doing the same thing again.

Try this method, then let me know how well it worked for you.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I have been talking a lot about the New Year to get you thinking so you have a great one.

With a new year comes a lot of changes, and that’s what I want to talk to you about today.

Many people make New Year’s resolutions in the hopes that they’ll be able to keep them, but how can they, when they not only didn’t keep last year’s, but they can’t even remember WHAT resolutions they made last year?

(I’m not saying you’re one of those people, so don’t get mad at me – I’m just saying some people in general.)

But there’s a certain way you need to be in the coming year if you want to be successful in 2009.

You have to be

OPTIMISTIC.

Especially with what’s happened to our economy at the end of this past year.

Everybody has gotten so pessimistic, so down, so depressed, just so NEGATIVE!

Just look around you.

Business sales are down, because people are afraid to spend money, because they don’t know what is going to happen to our economy – they are afraid it’s going to get even worse.

Well, living in fear is not good for someone with bipolar disorder, or their supporter, either.

I even talk about that in my courses/systems, how negative emotions can be triggers to bipolar episodes:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

The point is, you have to be OPTIMISTIC

in 2009 if you want to be successful in the coming year.

Not just if you have bipolar disorder and want to avoid an episode, but if you’re a supporter, too, just in your general attitude toward life. You can’t live in fear of what “might” happen, or it will bind you up into a negative attitude, and it might cause you to make bad decisions.

The way our economy is right now is already affecting people’s financial decisions.

It’s causing people unnecessary worry about the future, about things that might or might not happen, and that’s a bad thing for people with bipolar disorder and their supporters.

You really shouldn’t worry about a future that hasn’t even happened yet.

I mean, I know I always tell you to be prepared for the future, but there’s a big difference between being prepared and being worried.

That’s why you need to be OPTIMISTIC!

Being optimistic keeps you in a positive frame of mind, while worrying keeps you in a negative frame of mind.

I’ve known people who had bipolar disorder who stopped being optimistic and instead became very negative, and then they got depressed.

Then they got so depressed that they went into a bipolar depressive episode.

I’ve known others who worried themselves so much that it led to stress so bad that the stress and anxiety itself led them into bipolar episodes.

You wouldn’t want that for your loved one, would you?

Now which do you think will be better for your emotional health and the emotional health of your loved one?

I think it’s good advice for anyone, whether they have bipolar disorder or not to be OPTIMISTIC in 2009.

Do you agree or disagree with me?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.