Don’t Fall Victim To This With Bipolar Disorder

David Oliver Uncategorized

==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
Hi,

How’s it going?

Hey first I wanted to say, I have
a new Podcast you can listen to
for free. It’s about credit cards
and bipolar disorder.

Have a listen here:
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

We have been talking a lot about money.

There’s a problem that affects a
lot of people with bipolar disorder
and their loved ones. So, I’m just
warning you:

DON’T FALL VICTIM TO A
HIGH LIFESTYLE!

Once they become stable and
high functioning, many people
with bipolar disorder wind up
being really successful. They make
lots of money (while those who are
not as high functioning may still be
battling financial troubles, which I
go over extensively in my courses:

But if they do become successful,
which I teach in my courses that they
definitely can be, some of these
people start going to the extreme –
which I do NOT teach them to do!

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

The extreme is what I was talking
about before – about buying lots of
unnecessary things and living a high
lifestyle.

Then they have to cut back on
whatever they did to make all the
money, because the stress puts them
back into a bipolar episode, and the
cycle just continues on and on.

IS IT WORTH IT?

Sustaining this high lifestyle is too
much, and not worth it. You should
cut back and downsize to a more
simple life. De-stressing alone would
be worth what you have to do to
achieve it.

Take a look at all your stuff and see
what you really need (as opposed to
what you really want). Do you really
need 300 stations on your TV? Do
you need 3 cars? Do you need to eat
out 8 times a month? Do you need to
buy all those expensive clothes?

I know this married couple, where
both of them have bipolar disorder,
and they both live on disability. They
used to have high paying jobs, along
with the pressure that came along with
that, and they had all the trappings of
it as well – the house, the car, the
clothes, etc.

But both of them could not keep up
that lifestyle, and their high tower fell
down. They were both living month
to month on just their disability, until
I met them, and now one of them works
for me. But the point is, they have
continued to live a very simple lifestyle.

AND THEY ARE HAPPIER THEN
THEY WERE BEFORE!

It’s basically very simple. If you
continue to live a high lifestyle, you
will continue to have the high stress
that that lifestyle brings into your life.
And if you have bipolar disorder, that
can cause you to have episodes.

IS IT WORTH IT?

It’s your choice. You can give up
the stress, and you can live a simpler
lifestyle. You can still be successful
without all the materialistic trappings.
And you’ll be much happier for it.

I have a friend that’s made like $400,000
a year for several years. He has like $50,000
in savings and that number is going DOWN
each month. Imagine that?

You know what’s “Crazy” so to speak. I have
seen time and time again people choose between
treatment and medication and “cool” and “luxury”
items.

Hey, I just looked at the clock. I have an interview
to do. Mega bipolar success story and drug/alcohol
addiction.

Catch you tomorrow. Have a great day!

Your friend,

Dave
–
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

  1. You’re right on target, Dave. It’s so important for the bp person to be stable first, so they won’t buy a bunch of stuff they think they need and want. My husband(who is bp) buys WAY too much stuff when he’s manic. He always thinks his business ideas will allow him to be rich, and buys things with that mindset.

  2. I don’t understand why money doesn’t grow on trees, lol. I have friends who are not BiPolar who came into money and just simply didn’t know how to manage it properly. They now owe like 120,000in back property taxes, their electric bill is in the thousands, ect. A lot of people fall into the trap of not managing their finances properly. However, if you are BP you will rationalize everytime you spend as if you will die if you don’t buy it. Most people need money managers and BP’s should definately have a manager to remind them they have no money to spend on frivilous things.

  3. Dave, How can I convince my husband to see a doctor? He is absolutly sure he doesn’t need one, but has destroyed our finances and we can barely pay the bills we have. Help

  4. Simple lifestyle is good not only for people with bp. It could also help reduce consumerism,reduce carbon emissions, help protect environment and just make people much more peaceful and happier.

  5. Dave,

    This is so easy to say but extremely hard to get caught up when you are trying to recover from an “episode”. I’ve had to double payments to keep from losing things. My hubby who is BP can’t be trusted with our money. I’ve had to juggle and plea to so many places. I’ve cut out everything that I possibly can and we are still sinking.
    I no longer have a land line and we use our cell phones. We have basic cable with internet. We don’t go out and eat or shop anymore. I shop at a great store called ALDI that fits my budget.
    We don’t go to movies. We have a 475.00 a month mortgage and a smaller second mortgage for 110.00 a month. We both have fuel efficient vehicles. We downsized our car insurance (kinda hard to get when your hubby has a speeding ticket and wreckless driving ticket.) We have a 400.00 a month truck payment because we needed a truck and he was so upside down from his constant car trading. My car is 500.00 a month
    Our power bill is 180.00 a month (On the budget plan)
    I have to spend 60.00 a week to get back and forth to work which is an hour away from where we live…
    So Tell me how much more I can eliminate to get caught up because I don’t see an answer!!!
    Also I used the last bit of extra money that I had on your getting out of debt course…

    Loyal Reader
    Bettina

  6. As usual Dave, you are right on. Simple works out best; if you are mentally ill or not. One never knows when the economy will take a dive, even; moreless a bipolar episode….

    Dave, do you or anyone out there know of any natural approaches to this illness? I am doing my research and have found a few resources. Does anyone have anything to share regarding this?

    Thanks,
    LaLa

  7. Bettina,

    OMG those vehicle payments are out of control. I just bought a 2004 Jeep Grand Cheroke Laredo, 36,000 miles on it, and my payments are only $215 a month. If you have good credit like my husband you can get a car loan at 6%. I went from 1999 to Oct. 2007 without a car payment. The last vehicle I had was a Jeep Sport and I was making $400 a month payments because it was brand new. But when we sold our home in Jan 1999 we paid it off. It lasted me from 1996 to now, and I still have it. Almost 150,000 miles and just wanted something that I wouldn’t have to worry about.

    My advice and I don’t know what your full situation truly is but if you can get rid of those car payments and really negotiate when you get a vehicle you’ll have more money in your pocket. Make a strong point that you will only spend this set amount on a car payment and then don’t waver with the sales pitch. If they refuse to go with what you set at a price walk away from it. You don’t need something you can’t afford.

  8. Princesslala,

    Natural is not proven to work on mental illnesses, I have checked into several of them and my doctor will not say yes to any of them. There is yet to be hard facts that people with our disorder can be cured with natural remedies. If they claim to cure BP then definately don’t buy it and report them for claiming they can cure. It is not legal for them to claim such things unless they have sound medical proof and government approval.

    It can also be just as expensive to go the natural route as it is for prescription meds and you have a pharmasist and doctor who can assist you with questions and such if you have problems. If it is all natural who is going to assist you? Are they truly qualified to talk with you about BP?

    God Bless,
    Tere

  9. Tere,

    Thanks so much. I now realize that I need to help as much as possible. I am so glad that I stuck with my loved one, but I have read an enormous amount of information where the sufferer has TD, among other disturbances from prolonged use of antipsychotics, and it scares me and I am so very saddened. I don’t wish that for him; is all. He may not have to go thru that; but it has scared me so badly.

  11. LaLa,

    You make a good point about the long term effects of psychotrops. If I were in his shoes I might consider an alternative, but only out of fear.

    I think if enough of us were to make an issue about these side effects and get drug companies to combat these effects with other meds we might have a chance.

    At this point though if taking him off a med that has been working makes him suicidal or agitated and aggressive is it worth it to save him from the other? I can see your dilemma but I don’t know how unstable he is without meds I am not a doc. but I definately know that I personally can’t be trusted without the right meds.

    If my doctor said go for it and try it then I would do it, because I trust his opinion. Do I believe my doctor knows everything? No I don’t. However it has been my experience in the last 36 years that it is best to get the advice of a professional who knows what they are talking about. The human mind is the most vulnerable organ in the body.

    For me I did well on Lithium, but didn’t want the side effects. An alternative was manufactured and it works for me the same way, Lamictal. Same results minus the horrific side effects. Communicate with the doctor and make him work for the money you pay him.

    If you feel seriously led to try an alternative then don’t let anyone hold you back, but just be very, very, very, cautious.

    In my prayers,
    Tere

  13. Thanks Tere.

    I am working up to get my loved one properly diagnosed and eventually treated. He isn’t on meds. I had to educate myself. I had no idea what the force was that was driving my loved one to behave the way he does. I now know. He is 44. I just thought that I was battling alcoholism. I did everything I could to conceal myself and my young one from the consequences of his drinking. He doesn’t drink like he has in our 11 year history. He will sneak one now and again, but I honestly know deep down that he knows that the consequences are not worth it. Honestly, Tere, it is because of the way I have responded to his behavior that has him seeing that something is wrong even though he doesn’t admit it due to his illness.It is so hard for him to accept criticism due to the illness distorting his emotions.I have faked it thru Al Anon counseling, meaning that I didn’t have the emotions that I should, but I did the right thing anyway. Gently, I am getting him to speak and we will go to his first MD appointment together. I have put a system in place long before Dave for the finances;MY system of duck and cover; and my loved one realizes that he has problems with money. He has a bank account that is 100 miles away and he has no ATM or checks. He did this on his own.This is because I made it where he alone would feel most of the brunt of his behavior. It hurt him enough to make some changes; although he has not verbalized it; but I know. So slowly we are getting there. Every case is different. I have extracted the physical abuse–that has not happened since 99–I called the police and put a restraining order out. He no longer does that. He no longer screams to the top of his lungs at me or my young child. I called the police. The emotional punishing is all that he uses lately; and insight has taken the sting from it somewhat. I know why he does it–he percieves me as being the enemy when I don’t consent to irrationality. I am just trying to paint a picture of where he is in his illness. He has a wonderful job, which he likes, and has been in the same profession since 81. I’m hopeful.
    Tere, I am very happy for you and what you have accomplished. Please continue to share on the blog, as it gives so much hope to those who have not found the way as of yet.

    Peace,
    L.

  14. Thank you PrincessLaLa!
    I love your creative name choice for the blog. To back you up about your comment on boundary setting all my husband had to do was threaten to call the police and I would back off. I’ve never been to jail and I never want to either. But I have broken a lot of things. I’m not proud of it, but I know the extreme irrational behavior you are referring to. I never want to be like that again and I will do whatever my family says so that I don’t hurt anyone again including myself. I would rationalize that I am right and they are wrong they don’t know what they are talking about and they hurt me so I will hurt them. See it my way or no way. Really horrible feeling like that and I know you all suffer with the abuse we put on you. You all deserve better, and so do we. Thank you LALA for realizing that clear boundaries are in place to protect both you the supporter and your loved one the sufferer.

    Amen to Peace!
    Tere

  15. Yes, I had a comfortable lifestyle while I owned and lived in my apartment house. I was living on Social Security Disability, a small pension from my late husband, and about $1500/month in rents. However, I was constantly re-financing my mortgages, until it got out of hand with my last one – I owed over $1000/month on that one. But – I lived a pretty high lifestyle at that time. There was ALWAYS enough money for essentials AND occasional luxuries. After my last husband died, I sold the house, and moved into a condo, for CASH, two blocks away.

    NEVER, in my wildest dreams, did I anticipate what the loss of those rents would mean. I continued to lead a comfortable lifestyle, not realizing that I DIDN’T have the income to do so. I’ve re-financed twice since I’ve been here – mostly credit card debt. I’m just coming to the realization that I can’t live in the style to which I had become accustomed. I don’t have a lot of luxuries; I buy cheap clothes over the Internet, and the occasional gift for someone I like. BUT – here’s the rub – I CAN’T AFFORD IT.

    How do I get around that conundrum? I was used to living that way for 30 years; and now, I’m strapped at the end of the month. I’m in debt, but nothing I can’t handle – NOW. What’s going to happen when I lose all my savings – which isn’t much…

    I have a plan. I’m going to write my rich brother and have him pay off my mortgage, and in three years, when I’m 62, pay him off with 10% interest with a Reverse Mortgage, which will cover the loan and give me a little to live on as well.

    Yes – I lived “high on the hog” when I could afford it; and now I’m paying the price. I HAVE to curtail my spending – but it’s SOOO hard. I’m not at my “wit’s end” yet, but I feel it coming. If my brother doesn’t come through, then I’m way out of luck.

    Don’t make the mistakes Dave mentioned in his email. It can/does happen when you’re used to having money, and suddenly don’t have it any more. I’m living proof.

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors, and those who love them. My prayers are with you.

  16. To PRINCESSLALA: I, too, am TERRIFIED of tardive dyskinesia. Most antipsychotics have that as a major side effect. Because of neuropathy in both legs caused by Lithium, I was changed to Depakote, but that still lists TD as a side effect.

    As a matter of fact, one woman in my Lithium Group back in the early 90s, got TD, and rather than suffer with its debilitating effects, committed suicide, and wasn’t found for three days. I don’t know if I’d go THAT route, but if I showed any signs of TD, I would hope my psychiatrist could find an alternative med. I understand that if they catch it early, something can be done to arrest it.

    Lots of luck to you in finding a “happy medium.”

  18. The best way to look at a credit card is in two pieces! Cut it in half and you won’t be able to use it when you have an episode. Ditto debit, cheque guarantee and charge cards. Cancel all over daft facilities. So, when you need money you have to cash a cheque at your bank. Tell the bank never to let you withdraw more than $X at a time. Cash in hand, that’s all you have to spend each week. When it’s gone, it’s gone until the next week. This may not stop you from working up some debts but it will help keep them manageable.

    If you have a joint account, close it as soon as it;s in credit. and have separate accounts.

  19. OMIGAWD! Dave, your words of wisdom hit like a bullet to the bone!!!
    I have a terrible compulsion to buy too many clothes… Some still even have the tags on them. I experience the mania excitement & then feel guilty afterwards. I take meds & my children “jokingly”, unless they are mad about other issues(then they are very hateful), say “Mom, your’re a drug addict”. When I think I’m hiding my habit, I know deep down inside they harbor resentments & why shouldn’t they?
    I rationalize by telling myself that I pay all the bills & give them nice things. The catch to this mania is that I spent such an exorbitant amount this year we could’ve had that nice swimming pool we’ve been dreaming about.
    I am so looking forward to Seven Secrets…
    A question? Is procrastination a symptom of bipolar disorder? Does anyone out there suffer this as I do?
    Thanks Sincerely,
    Matha
    And a big thanks for this website & blog…

  20. Is procrastination part of Bipolar? I’d think it is part of any disorder that affects one’s confidence to make decisions, or robs one of motivation.

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