Doing it Alone with Bipolar Disorder

Hi,

How’s it going? I hope you’re doing well today.

I read a lot, mostly business magazines. And I read an article in one of them the other day about an entrepreneur who is very wealthy, a self-made millionaire.

Granted, self-made implies that he did it himself, but even self-made people have to have had some help along the way, wouldn’t you think? Nobody does it all by themselves.

But this guy was going on and on about how he did everything all by himself, that no one ever showed him even one little thing, nobody ever taught him anything, nobody ever helped him in any way, he did it ALL himself, etc., etc. And I was actually offended at all the pride that was just oozing out of this guy. He just took all the credit!

Didn’t even give his parents any credit for raising him or anything! I mean, usually even self-made millionaires give credit to their parents at least, you know? But he was just so full of himself!

I mean, I’ve worked all of my life, always had my own businesses, and I would say that I’m a self-made man too (but FAR from being a millionaire LOL). But I don’t go around bragging about how I’ve never gotten any help from a single sole, nobody’s ever done anything for me, etc., everything I’ve gotten I’ve gotten all by myself, etc.

I’m pretty honest about giving credit where credit is due and about how I’ve gotten good advice from other people, etc. I’ve had some pretty good role models, and that has helped as well.

I don’t think anyone can make it in this world all by themselves. Especially people who have bipolar disorder. In fact, some of the worst cases of bipolar disorder I’ve ever seen were people who tried to make it by themselves, without any kind of a support system.

I’ve had bipolar supporters talk to me about their loved ones and how they kind of shut them out of helping them and it’s not so much that it hurts them personally (the supporter) as much as it hurts them to see their loved one struggle when they don’t have to, because they have a supporter right there who is willing and wanting to help them.

It’s hard to watch your loved one wanting so much to make it on their own, knowing that it doesn’t have to be that way. And that they’re probably going to fail, because, like I said, some of the worst cases of bipolar disorder I’ve seen were people with the disorder who tried to make it on their own.

On the other hand, one of the most successful cases I know of is a couple where both of them

have bipolar disorder, and they are each other’s supporter. They are married, so they are around each other pretty much 24/7. They know each other so well, and each other’s signs and symptoms, so they can tell when the other one is “off” in any way, so there’s no telling how many episodes they’ve been able to avoid just by being vigilant.

They help each other. They talk to each other. But most importantly, they listen to each other.

If one tells the other that they’ve noticed a few signs or symptoms that might indicate that they

could be going into an episode and that they should go to the doctor, they listen, and they go.

They’ve learned from experience that a supporter can be invaluable in preventing bipolar episodes. They both remember how, before they got married, they didn’t have supporters, or a good support system, and went into many episodes, having to be hospitalized several times trying to make it on their own.

A good, strong support system is just invaluable when you’re trying to manage bipolar disorder.

If your loved one is giving you a hard time about helping them to manage their bipolar,

show them this blog. Show them the difference that having a good support system vs. trying to do it alone can make. They need to know that they cannot make it on their own.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

  1. David-
    I read, understand, and appreciate your views and advice, but, for me, most of it is all in vein. My daughter, who is 26 and does not live with me, has chosen to take all of her anger out on me, and has no contact with me. We didn’t have a fight, or anything else (that I know of), to prompt this, but I have not seen or heard from her in over a year. Now and then, I would send her a text msg. just to say that I was thinking about her, and that I love her very much. Around the holidays, I found that she has now blocked me from her cell phone. My heart is broken, and I have put it in God’s hands, in hopes that he will keep her safe, and one day bring her back to me. She was always a caring, loving girl growing up, and the rational part of me knows that her actions, now, are probably beyond her control (if her medication is not correct), but, my heart doesn’t understand. I was a very loving Mom, and this is just devestating.

  2. David, There is many times I think about you….I ask myself, “What would David do in this case?”….You have helped me and my supporters no end…..I feel that you are a major part of my support….I give all the credit to you, my Mom, and to the Glory of God and my Savior Jesus Christ

  3. why do people equate major clinical depression with bipolar disorder?…..depression is only one component of bipolar disorder the other is mania or manic episodes…..that is where we get the term manic depression which equates to bipolar disorder

  4. I really appreciate your emails David. I did find a support group in our area. But i still look forward to hearing from you .

  5. Dear Dave,
    Our loved ones have to want to have great supporters.
    this process can take many years and a few wrong turns and maybe a hospitalisation or 3
    And things or circumstances get in the way like:
    people who make friends with our loved ones and influence their decisions, not always in a good and helpful way.
    The very negative voice in our loved ones head that repels all help may be in operation and our loved ones have to learn to discern that or their need for those thaty love themis ghreater than that voice
    We have to want to be that supporter and all that entails and this means patience patience patience
    I knew in my heart that this enemy bipolar would never be able to wear out my love for my daughterever!!!
    and I knew my daughter wanted my help she did’nt know it yet.
    SO patience patience, patience
    And then one day she aknowledged my help and thats all I needed to know
    Rachel has been in recovery for 1 year she has a position at university and every day she is a blessing
    Rachel and her sons live with me and will be with me for the foreseeable future
    I love my daughter she has so much courage.
    Regards
    Shona

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