Today I want to talk about a very important concept when it comes not just to bipolar disorder, but life in general: TRUST. Did you ever do that trust exercise when you were little as a game, or in a corporate setting where they did it as an exercise like in a seminar setting? What you did was have someone stand behind you, and you just let yourself kind of free fall into their arms, just trusting them to catch you. It sounds simple, and it is, really, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy to do, because it’s not. Trust is certainly not an easy thing to do. Especially not if you’ve had a hard time doing it in the past. Maybe something happened to you that caused you to stop trusting, for example. Maybe even something tragic…Like a past history of abuse. That can happen, and cause you to stop trusting altogether. Which can be causing problems for you now.
But also…If your loved one with bipolar disorder has lied to you…You could be having problems with trusting them as well. That’s one of the issues, a common issue, actually, that comes along with bipolar disorder. But if your loved one has lied to you, it could feasibly have made you very upset…Even to the point that you no longer trust them at all. For example…
They may have gone into a bipolar manic episode…Which caused them to spend money excessively…And then they lied about it to you. So now you don’t trust them with the money at all any more. This is a common problem with people who have bipolar disorder. Sometimes they don’t get caught until the credit card statement comes in, for instance, which could be
some time after they have actually spent the money. But they do get caught. The thing is…
You have to ask yourself…Did they mean to lie to you…Or is it the bipolar disorder?
That’s one of the things I get asked about most often by supporters of a loved one with bipolar
disorder. And all I can tell you is…It’s usually a judgment call. They could lie out of fear.
Usually the fear of getting caught, or the consequences. That’s usually the case with money, or sexually related offenses. Or they could lie from the bipolar episode itself, in which case, they may forget it totally when they come out of the episode. This makes it much harder on you.
Because then you really have to ask yourself was it the bipolar disorder or was it them? Did they mean to lie, or did the bipolar disorder make them lie? In my opinion (and this is just my opinion), I think it should be that, whether they meant to lie or the bipolar disorder made them lie, the result is the same, so either way they should have to pay consequences for their action.
But it’s up to you. The thing is, that you have to live with it – you have to decide to trust them again, and when you will do that. And what they have to do to earn back your trust.
Well, I have to go!