Can You Trust Your Loved One With Bipolar?


Today I want to talk about a very important concept when it comes not just to bipolar disorder, but life in general: TRUST. Did you ever do that trust exercise when you were little as a game, or in a corporate setting where they did it as an exercise like in a seminar setting? What you did was have someone stand behind you, and you just let yourself kind of free fall into their arms, just trusting them to catch you. It sounds simple, and it is, really, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy to do, because it’s not. Trust is certainly not an easy thing to do. Especially not if you’ve had a hard time doing it in the past. Maybe something happened to you that caused you to stop trusting, for example. Maybe even something tragic…Like a past history of abuse. That can happen, and cause you to stop trusting altogether. Which can be causing problems for you now.

But also…If your loved one with bipolar disorder has lied to you…You could be having problems with trusting them as well. That’s one of the issues, a common issue, actually, that comes along with bipolar disorder. But if your loved one has lied to you, it could feasibly have made you very upset…Even to the point that you no longer trust them at all. For example…

They may have gone into a bipolar manic episode…Which caused them to spend money excessively…And then they lied about it to you. So now you don’t trust them with the money at all any more. This is a common problem with people who have bipolar disorder. Sometimes they don’t get caught until the credit card statement comes in, for instance, which could be

some time after they have actually spent the money. But they do get caught. The thing is…

You have to ask yourself…Did they mean to lie to you…Or is it the bipolar disorder?

That’s one of the things I get asked about most often by supporters of a loved one with bipolar

disorder. And all I can tell you is…It’s usually a judgment call. They could lie out of fear.

Usually the fear of getting caught, or the consequences. That’s usually the case with money, or sexually related offenses. Or they could lie from the bipolar episode itself, in which case, they may forget it totally when they come out of the episode. This makes it much harder on you.

Because then you really have to ask yourself was it the bipolar disorder or was it them? Did they mean to lie, or did the bipolar disorder make them lie? In my opinion (and this is just my opinion), I think it should be that, whether they meant to lie or the bipolar disorder made them lie, the result is the same, so either way they should have to pay consequences for their action.

But it’s up to you. The thing is, that you have to live with it – you have to decide to trust them again, and when you will do that. And what they have to do to earn back your trust.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,


  1. I know what your saying my wife and soon to be xwife started to lie over a year a go now and ya it started with money then events and she move on to other men and she has bin doing the same to him now

  2. This is just an “off the wall” comment about having bipolar disorder. I was going to write about the fact that my psychiatrist has raised my dosage of Depakote and how it made me feel. Not 2 days later, I was calling her because I just COULDN’T get out of bed and DO anything. She cut the dose by a half – and today I was a “busy beaver,” doing all the household things that I had put off when I wasn’t feeling very well. It looks like this “change” is a healthy one, and I’m looking forward to going on with my life…I often ask myself “What is ME? and “What is the Bipolar?” I really CAN’T remember what I was like BEFORE the illness hit me at 20. I suppose that’s a mute point, as I am 63 now and know no other way of living. What I am going through is a mini-nervous breakdown OUT of the hospital. As long as my doctors and therapists work WITH me and don’t act like slackers, I’m OK. We people with Bipolar Disorder DON’T want to be treated as if we are lepers; when we’re NOT in an episode, we’re as “normal” as anybody. If I’ve learned anything in my 40 years as a Bipolar, it’s you can’t ALWAYS trust your own feelings….I pulled a “trust issue” on my boyfriend about 6 years ago. I slept with someone else, and he found out. It hurt him deeply, but, because I had explained ALL that I knew of the disorder to him, he accepted my transgression, and now trusts me as much as before.

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I continue to pray for my country.

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