Bipolar – When Enough is Enough


Living with someone who has bipolar disorder can be difficult sometimes. In fact…Sometimes it can be downright overwhelming. Sometimes you know what to do…But other times you just don’t know what to do. What do you, for example, when you ask yourself…What do I do when enough is enough? And when is enough really too much to take?

Like in the following case:

Loretta was married to Richard, who had bipolar disorder, and he had been struggling with it for all of their married life, which meant that Loretta was struggling with it as well. At first, she thought she was the only one going through it, but then she went to a bipolar support group for supporters of a loved one with bipolar disorder, and found out that there were other people who had some of the same issues that she did, and that helped for awhile. However, Richard seemed to get worse as the years went by. He did things in his bipolar episodes that affected their marriage, like almost bankrupting them when he went into a manic episode and made some

foolish business investments without telling Loretta. This really upset her, and she secretly resented him for it. She never trusted him with money again, and she had to take over the finances.

One time he even got in trouble for causing an accident when he was driving erratically while in a manic episode, and it cost them a lot of money to get him out of that legal trouble. At one point, Richard even started abusing alcohol and drugs, and it cost them a lot of money to put him in a rehab center to help him deal with that. Loretta thought she was used to Richard’s “antics” when he would go into his bipolar manic episodes and even thought she could handle anything. But she found out she couldn’t, when in a manic episode, Richard had an affair. That’s when Loretta decided that enough was enough. She decided that 13 years of being a good supporter was enough. If Richard wasn’t going to get help for his bipolar disorder by then, then she gave up. She just couldn’t handle any more manic episodes. The affair was the last straw. She filed for divorce.


Many times, I talk about hanging in there with your loved one and what it takes to be a good supporter. But that does NOT mean that you have to continue to put up with totally unacceptable behavior. There is only so much you can take. Like in Loretta’s case: She “took it” for 13 years!

And during that time, she put up with all of the consequences of her husband’s manic episodes –

the financial and legal ramifications of his episodes, along with what it did to their marriage. And that was quite a toll! And there had to be a toll that it took on Loretta herself as well. It had to be very frustrating…To think that she was getting somewhere with him…Only to have him go into another manic episode and have the behaviors start all over again.

So there can come a time when you ask yourself: When is enough too much to handle? And what do you do about it? You may be up against this right now. And if you are, I ask you to consider this: You may be in Loretta’s shoes. You may even be considering divorce. But divorce may not be the answer. You may want to try a separation first…To see if that’s what it would take for your loved one to get the help they need for their bipolar disorder. The important thing is that you do NOT have to tolerate unacceptable behavior. Especially if your loved one has become violent. You must, first of all, see to your own safety. If your loved one’s rages have gotten out of control, then getting out of the situation may be the best thing for you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,


  1. My friend, you wont’ believe me but i think a married person’s marriage has just been saved just by watching the movie “Age of Heroe” – the light came on for his wife, Gail when her husband Richard asked her the same exact question that was asked in this movie “What’s the Matter, didn’t your mother love you “ENOUGH”??????

    she was not only caught off guard but her raged stopped, she calmed down, relaxed and thought about just this question. She had been travelling along this manic road for 3 years and never had she met someone to help her get in touch with the root of the solution to her manic episodes — once she thought about it…..the light came on and she realized she shouldn’t be taking out her disorder on an unsuspecting person like her spouse ESPECIALLY WHEN ALL SHE’S KNOWN AS A SMALL CHILD WAS KINDNESS AND MERCY!!!!!!

    needless to say, she is now very disciplined in taking her medications all because she remembered the question her husband asked her… STOPPED HER IN HER TRACK AND SAVED THEIR MARRIAGE AS WELL…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *