Hi,
I heard a quote the other day that I wanted to share with you: “Unless you change how you are, you’ll always have what you’ve got.” I really like that quote. I think it can easily be applied to bipolar disorder, too. Too many people with bipolar disorder and their supporters get to the point that they take their condition for granted. In other words, they stop being vigilant with the disorder. They get in a rut. Nothing’s bad, but nothing’s really good, either. Just a kind of “in between” state, where nothing changes.
Like another quote that I’ve heard: “If nothing changes, nothing changes.” Think about it. Whether you have bipolar disorder or are supporting a loved one with it, this can apply to you. But you don’t have to stay that way. As a matter of fact, staying that way can really go against you. You have to continually maintain stability and change what needs to be changed in order to do that. Even if what needs to be changed is yourself. Nobody can do that for you – you have to do it for yourself. Other people may notice what needs to be changed – they might even tell you what needs to be changed. But it’s up to you whether you take their advice. You are the one who, in the end, has to do the work involved in the change process.
There are some things you have control over, and other things you don’t. For example, you don’t have control over the fact that you or your loved one has bipolar disorder. Therefore, you can’t change it. But you can change how you react to it. First of all, you need to change the way you think about the disorder in relation to yourself: Instead of saying, “I am bipolar,” try saying, “I have bipolar.” There is a big difference. In the first case, you’re identifying with the disorder, and it can have control over you instead of the other way around, because you believe it is what you ARE. In the second case, you are acknowledging that you have this disorder, but you are in control of it instead of it being in control over you, because you believe it is what you HAVE (and not who you are). The difference is knowing who you are outside the disorder, and it can make a big difference in how you think about yourself.
You know how I like expressions that apply to bipolar disorder. Here’s another one that applies to what I’m talking about: “We can have more than we’ve got because we can become more than we are.” Can you see how that applies to bipolar disorder? It’s all in how you think about yourself. You don’t have to let the bipolar disorder dictate who you are. You can be/become more than what the disorder makes you. In other words…You can rise above it.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
I like what you said about the difference between saying I am and I have. It is a good point. But, at the same time it is something that does not need to be advertized in a person’s private life unless they choose to make it known. Too many people still label people who have a mental health disorder. Society tends to forget they are still people with all the feelings and emotions of people. They just react differently and at times need to be guided and loved inspite of all that is going on. Support by those who know them and family is important. Many of them are very brillant people. What society fails to realize is that people no matter what their diagnosis is should be treated with dignity and respect for they are part of the creation of God and we all were created in His image.
so no one told you life was going to be this way:
Attracting friends, associates, acquaintances of Grief and Misery…..Yikes! help Dave what do I do
it must be nice to have the lottery winnings, a nice house, loyal friends, come from a good family all these things are attainable and achievable.
How???
The need of a good support system – My exgirlfriend said all she had to do was look into her life, she had completely lost control, acquired a pseudo sickness overworked herself into a super sensitive paranoid person at last she finally did nothing!!! her situation seems to be changing – why??? she did nothing as soon as she realized she had lost complete control – she said oh well “i’m going to eat pork lomein until God delivers me….Well that apparently worked – the fits stopped, the anger subsided, she stopped blaming people for her life and poof! she just came back from a cruise – asked her how she did that? I stopped cursing my present and embraced it and every thing changed.
Unconditional love now reigns supreme in her life and she continues to eat pork lomein but now she can afford to do it once a week at special restaurants.
She decided to make one change
Stop trying sooo hard to change the present and let go AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.