Hi,
Let me tell you about a friend of mine. This friend of mine never loses a coin toss. Do you know why? He has a special coin. This coin is a two-headed coin! So he can never lose! Ha-ha!
Well, let me tell you about another friend of mine. This is like a two-sided story. But it isn’t funny.
Bill’s mom has bipolar disorder. And she suffers from depression much of the time. And when she does, she can’t even get herself out of bed. She is one of the sad stories. It seems like the doctors can’t ever get her medication right, and even when they can, she forgets to take it half the time. She really struggles with her bipolar disorder.
But let me tell you about the other side of the coin. Bill’s wife, Michele, has bipolar disorder, too.
And I want to tell you about Michele because I think it is important that you hear about a successful person with bipolar disorder.
There was a time when she was not such a good example, however, There was a time when she struggled with her bipolar disorder too. See, Michele wasn’t diagnosed with her bipolar disorder until she was in her forties. So before she was diagnosed, she went through many episodes where
she would be terribly depressed – so depressed that she tried to kill herself five times. Five times!
She would also go into bipolar manic episodes where she would spend excessive amounts of money, sometimes more money than she had, and she went into great credit card debt. She even got married in a manic episode more than once! She had terrible manic episodes. And then she would crash into even worse depressions. This went on for years.
She was even in hospitals and institutions five times for her bipolar episodes, all before she
was finally diagnosed! In fact, she was misdiagnosed so many times that it took until her
forties before she was finally diagnosed correctly, and by then she was really messed up! In fact, by then she was convinced that “they” were going to lock her up forever and throw away the key.
She had no hope for the future.
But finally, she found the right doctor who put her on the right medications, and she started to
stabilize with her bipolar disorder.
Today, Michele is stable, and has been so for many years. She is happily married to her best
friend of ten years, and they have been married for four years now. He is her supporter, and does a great job of it – he has been able to keep her out of the hospital for many years, even when she was close to full-blown bipolar episodes.
You see, Bill is a success story, too. He also has bipolar disorder. But he learned early on how to
manage his disorder, so much so that he is able to take care of not only himself, but a wife and a mother both with bipolar disorder.
Now Bill and Michele run a successful home-based business and live a relatively stress-free life
helping other people with mental illness by sharing their stories of recovery.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
I read with great interest the story and what an amazing ending. I know how tough bipolar is, and I struggle with the hi and low’s even to the point of being fearful of being out on the street. She had to go through so much, but what a recovery. The possibilities are endless. Sometimes you think your case is the worst and then you find that it is far from it.
They sound so lucky compaired to me. I am trying to find the right meds now and can’t seem to want to stay on anything. I don’t make a lot of $ and on government assistance. I feel terrible about myself and feel like there is no hope to get the depression out of me. I was diagnoised bipolar but having a hard time accepting it. I don’t know what to do. I wish I have more websites where I hear of people getting better and their lives turned around. I pray to G-d alot and put my faith into him. I get up and go to work and mind feels so bombarded with emotions of confusing thoughts. I would like to know if there are people that have been poor but have turned their life around with proper care. I went to culinary school but just not in any shape to take a leadership position and that’s where the money is. Maybe I’ll feel different next week. I’m lost..Can you please send me some insightful experiences from other people?
I would like to hope and believe that every person with Bipolar can find the right medication and lead a fulfilling life. My boyfriend has struggled for a long time waiting for the right medication. Going to different programs and working hard to achieve life goals. I personnally believe that it can be done and I am praying that we can have a life together like Bill and Michelle.
My wife show signs of having Bipolar and/or Borderline Personality Disorder. We have been married for 13 years and I have known that something was not quite right since day one. Before I met her I knew nothing about these disorders but wanted to understand what was going on in her head, together with her actions and moments of depression for no reason. I have done extensive research in order not to move too quickly for a divorce. Recently, through a support web site I came across a disorder that fit her personality 100%. Narcissistic personality disorder definition and symptoms parallel her personality and behavior as much as the definition and symptoms for Bipolar disorder. I am 62 years old and have been in excellent health all my life. We have two children together and after 13 years of living in the same household I feel my health is slipping away. My problem: 1) My wife does not think there is something wrong with her and refuse to seek help, (I have learned there is mental illness in her family history). 2) I am afraid to leave her along with our 8 year old daughter for any long period of time because of the yelling and fighting. Our daughter has asked me in the present of her mother to divorce her because she can’t take it any more. 3) I am not sure if I see signs of BPD in my daughter or if it is the environment in which we live. 4) My wife is spending large sums of money without my knowledge and when confronted refuses to tell me what she did with it. Our 12 year old son overheard a conversation and asked, why would mommy want to take money from the family? I have all but given up my lively hood to raise our children from the moment they were born to present. I felt this was necessary because my wife was always depressed and never showed much patience. What should I do in the best interest of our children and my health?
i have different situation going on in my life,yet
similar in some aspect:in my scenerio the obstacle is a
person.he has alway been a people oriented person, whom
just happen to be the other grand-parent to my grand-daughter.i’m torn between going to her birthday party
and staying home because i don’t want to be around him
or his group of friends.deep in my heart i really
don’t want to go,but i feel obligated to go to the
party. i think you can help me with this dilemma
also i know your a fair person with a pure heart.
waiting to get your advice.
That is great that they are doing ok now. I have bi-polor also with ADHD. I have 2 boys that had ADHD but my youngest one has bi-polar also. It took almost 2 year to get the right medicane for them both. There are times that my boys and i go at each other but we have been going to theripy also to help deal with this problem. It takes time , but we manage with it. I hope someday we all will get off these med so we could live a normal life. They are 9y and 10y and i am 44y. I had this sents i was 11y. All i can say is , everybody keep you head up and keep hoping that they will find a quirr for this disorder. thank you for listening to me, Bonnie
I too am also a success or at least I consider it a success story. Not only a success but a truly blessed individual. I met a man who was married to a bi-polar for 30 years and was the best thing that ever happened to me. My ex-husband I don’t consider or at least now I don’t consider a bad man but unfortunately was not the man for me due to his bad moods and dispositions and he could not handle the bi-polar only made it worse for me to handle and my ex-best friend a female had befriended him and although they say it was purely platonic I know as well as many other people that that was not so. I stayed because I thought that it was the right thing to do for my kids who were all in their teens at the time and little did I realize I was making it harder for them. For that I am truly remorseful and I don’t think I will ever forgive myself for what I did to them. I now have the best man in my life for me and have gone back to school and will be working part time and full time and am just ecstatic in what I have achieved on my own with the help of him and look forward to every day and what it brings for me. I think I am truly blessed and I now realize that what I got out of what my bad times in life were three absolutely beautiful childen who I know have turned out great and I am very proud of and I know that they are very fine adults.
My Mom is bipolar but never diagnosed, my daughter is bipolar, diagnosed but in denial, and I am bipolar and successful in life even though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 49 yrs old which led to the dx of my dtr. I believe I developed coping mechanisms as a young child when my Mom would go into rampages which included yelling, beatings, terror, raging, throwing things including burning hot pots,pans and food and it would go on for hours. I realized my Mom was bipolar when my dtr started acting just like she used to. One time when I had to call the police to protect myself from my dtr., she ran away and the police talked her back over her cell phone. She only remembered talking to the police and nothing of her rage…then I realized my Mom didn”t remember kicking me into a pile on the floor when I was 5 yrs old probably for the same reason…my dtr’s eyes would be black, void and steeley like a person didn”t even exist in there. On the other hand when they weren”t raging, they were both the most loving, kind people in the world. My Mom is 82 and my Dad still loves her. My dtr is 20 and very brilliant and beautiful…she won 3 scholarships to college taking applied mathmatics and working as an intern and maintaining her balance through a homeopathic remedy, fish oil, thai chi breathing exercises, sleeping pills and psychotherapy as needed. Unfortunately I have multiple chemical sensitivities and all of us are very sensitive to drugs, my dtr had severe side effects and we decided to try what worked for me…I have the less severe form of bipolar and my remedy worked in 1 month. My dtr is very complicated and it took 3 yrs to get her in balance.
Now I have fallen in love with an undiagnosed bipolar man and in 7 months he is ever so grateful for all the techniques that I have learned over the yrs and have taught him. I recognize when he is not himself, I know he will be back and support him through whatever he needs. Meditation is a great help for balancing and he is willing to help himself and strives for awareness which makes it easier for me.
As for me…David’s tapes really helped me become aware of my spending habits and in the last year I have learned to live within my means, my credit card debt went from $30,000 to about $5,000 and going down. My Dad was amazed and asked “How did you do it?” I continue to work hard to pay off my debts. The people at work love working with me…when I am around people and have to perform my job…I am good at masking my depressions and generally I am mostly in a low manic state which I like. I have to exercise every day to keep out of depression. If I get low I force myself to walk in the fresh air…whatever it takes…stand up and spin around if you can’t get yourself going…it cuts the negative energy.
Wow! Sounds like it be any combination of me and various family members. Good to hear a story of a happy bi-polar couple.
Hi David,
I really need to thank you. When I finally accepted I was sick I bought some of your books, I educated myself. The two sided coin-yea, I knew my daughter had bipolar a couple of years ago- a few months ago I told her she needed meds. I told her to tell her therapist she was in crises and I thought that would get the job done. Wow this therapist she has is a victom of crime therapist,How they turn victoms of crime over to these real flunkys-family therapists, they do not know about mental illness at all. My daughter does not live with me so I could only tell she was getting worse by phone calls. By the time my baby came home she was in a full blown episode, hearing things, paranoid, not clean- It is heart-breaking, after 2 hours on the bathroom floor i finally get through to her she needs a real doctor, found one got her on meds, she is starting to stabilize. I read all the books I have of yours and picked out The Seven Secrets of Bipolar to send home with her. She is reading it and every day is better for her. She even came by 2 days ago and said she went through all her makeup- she was not wearing any- she is beautiful with or without it, she just always was so Beautiful!! The bipolar I almost did not know who she was. Just thank you for educating me so I could hopefully educate her so she does not ruin herself over and over. Thank you David!
karen lober
My daughter is bipolar but in denial. She refuses to get help, and continues taking ADD meds. (She was wrongly diagnosed with ADD back in H.S.- She’s now 24.) She lives with my elderly parents because we had to kick her out due to her threatening my life more than once, and a lot of other unruly and unacceptable behavior. She was scary, and we felt unsafe with her living with us and our other younger children. I couldn’t take it any more, but my parents don’t really want her there either (although she doesn’t threaten them). She’s just getting worse and worse. Everyone’s tried helping her and telling her to get help, but she listens to no one. She never finished college, although she’s very smart. She’s wrecked two cars, and now either rides her bike or takes the bus to work which is at a hamburger joint. She has so much potential, and can be so much more if she would just get help. How do we convince her to get help? What can we do? Can anyone help us??? I haven’t given up yet!
I just want to comment on my situation. I believe the disorder bipolar is an hereditary gene and hits all offsping if one parent has it. Sometimes. It affects all the siblings but capabilities to deal with it are differerent. Case in point, I am #4 sibling The 1st and3rd suffered. Hospitalizations for bipolar; however all of us suffer different degrees of bipolar. I have episodes which vary for2 weeks straight and then no symptoms for 2. Years with caring loved ones for support (emotional ) then Ian on a high and when no contact I crash and fall. But its a good thing because I do realize support and safety of ones wellbeing is most important. Iam not going to say its easy but the strugle is continuos on a daily basis. The thought of drifting off to a manic phase tortures me when I think of what happens afterwards, guilt,sorrow,beating myself up with self loathing . Then it passes.
S
These are some very interesting comments. I suspect that my sister has bipolar disorder and probably has had it for a very long time. The problem is amplified 10,000 percent when the person is in denial. I just pray and wait for a miracle and a breakthrough.
THIS IS JUST THE CHANGE I NEEDED!!!!!! THAT’S HOW I’M HANDLING LIFE WHEN LIFE APPEARS TO BE FULL OF SURPRISES!!!!!! LIKE THIS:
My daughter is bipolar but in denial. She refuses to get help, and continues taking ADD meds. (She was wrongly diagnosed with ADD back in H.S.- She’s now 24.)