Bipolar Supporter: Ways to Help Your Loved One

Hi,

Today I want to talk about: Ways to Help Your Loved One Stay On Track

1. Don’t Let Them Get Lazy

It’s hard for your loved one when they, perhaps, have lost their job and are now on disability. Some people lose their sense of direction when they have nothing to wake up

for any more when they have no job to go to. Don’t let your loved one get lazy just because they aren’t working any more. Encourage them to make a To-Do List, or something else that forces them to be productive in some way every day – just something that gets them out of bed with a day’s goal in mind.

2. Make Sure They Stick to Their Treatment Plan

Sometimes loved ones may stick to their treatment plans in the beginning, when they know you’re watching them, but then they slack off when they think you’re not looking. Don’t let that happen to your loved one. Make sure they stick to their treatment plan. This is so important. Especially when it comes to their medication. No, they’re not a child, and you can’t make them take their medication by forcing it down their throat. But you can encourage them and reinforce the importance of taking it. Be the same way with the rest of their treatment plan – going to their appointments with their psychiatrist, doctor, and therapist. Eat a good diet, exercise, and sleep right, etc.

3. Use a Buddy System

Try to keep them on track by finding a “BP Buddy” for them – maybe someone from their bipolar support group. Someone who knows what they’re going through, and

is perhaps sharing the same struggles. Maybe they can do some things together, maybe

some things to keep them from getting bored – maybe they share the same interests, or at

least could go out to eat or to the movies, etc.

4. Encourage Them to be Independent

Don’t act like your loved one’s babysitter. Encourage them to be independent, and

not to be dependent on you. You want to be supportive, and you want them to feel your support and to know that you’re there for them, but at the same time, you don’t want them to feel as if you’re smothering them. If you have grown children, remember back to when your children were teenagers and were trying to show that they were “grown up.” Your loved one is going through the same thing. Stay close enough that if they want your help, you can help them, but give them enough room that they can do what they can for themselves.

5. Be Their Cheerleader

When your loved one does make advances in their growth, say, in therapy, be their personal cheerleader! Make sure they know that you are on their side, not only NOT

nagging them, but being positive and encouraging, and cheering them on to do

good so that they don’t get depressed. Even small advances can be good ones. Being a good supporter isn’t an easy job. But it is so important to your loved one that you encourage them every step of the way.

6. Make Time For Yourself

You need to take care of yourself as well as your loved one. You don’t want to get burnt

out, do you? If you get sick or stressed out, who would take care of your loved one? So

it is important to take care of yourself first. You need to make sure you are balanced

physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually. You also need to have balance in your work and home life. And between taking care of your loved one and taking care of yourself. It’s important for you to keep your stress levels down and to relax when you need to, and to do things that are enjoyable for you. You should practice hobbies that you enjoy as well. These make you feel productive and help your self-esteem.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

  1. My friend and i were having a conversation about this topic in one of the oddest places – A LAVATORY!!!! we agreed on not letting our boyfriends become lazy and it’s funny as we attempted to exit the lavatory – our boyfriends were standing outside the door with shocked looks on their faces as if to say – they spend alot of time in there applying makeup and talking about men…What an odd place! why don’t you just do what you are supposed to do in there and not the weird stuff. We no doubt got the last laugh – they didn’t know we were devising plans to be their cheerleaders in there until they saw when we stepped out….AT 121 PM LOL!

  2. Hi David.
    enjoy reading all the info each day.
    my grandson has bipolar issues.
    he also had drugs problems. he has been off and on his
    medications for some time. he has had some jobs, but just only for a short period of time, a few days maybe.
    he has gotten very lazy, and expected us to be his enabler, but we had to require him to leave, and try and do things on his own. he struggle for some time, at shelters, but we feel he has finally made some progress for him. We knew he was able to be semi independent or independent if he wanted, but as long as we were be his side, and was giving up.. It was tough Love, but We feel it might had paid off in the end..
    It hurt us to see him struggle, but sometimes,its the best for the care giver and the bipolar person.
    We did what we had to do.
    We can live their Life for them, they have to do that.
    thank you

  3. good advice. I am mstly alone but I work on these issues every day and most days do pretty good. some days are bad. But the hard part is havibg to live down an “episode” and no knows why I did and said the things i did. It seems like they never forget. I just say to my self that I will live thru this also. Still its hard. mary p.s. Your a big help and a bigger comfort to me personally . thank you so much.

  4. We managed to do everything mentioned in this email for a long time, except that he would not stick to his treatment plan. The last time he asked me for help, when I see the first signs of a developing episode. As soon as I saw these signs and suggested he should see his psych to discuss options, he ran off for 3 weeks hiding away. When he came back it was too late. He refused to go to his appointments, avoided all his real friends and hung out with shifty characters. Then he stopped taking his meds (again!), developed paranoia and went into the worst episode ever. He was the prime suspect of a crime committed involving me. My life has been in turmoil since. He is in the psych ward, won’t speak to the police, and the police won’t allow me to contact him until they have interviewed him. We can’t be together anymore. Bipolar has ruined both our lives. All because he won’t stick to his treatment plan.

  5. My son is bipolar and he depends on me for everything, I do so much for him and have a hard time not doing it. I have no life at all except to do for him. I quess I hope and pray that someday he will be able to do for himself. Everytime I try to do something for myself he interfers and makes sure I’m right there for him. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel I’m never going to have a life because hes taking it all up. I love him so very much but I feel I just can’t do this anymore. I have noticed if he does stay busy then he does leave me alone some. I do feel like I’m in a trap and I can’t get out.

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