Hi,
I was watching an episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos the other night, and they showed this one video about a kid who got angry. He had built this big building with colored blocks, and it was really high…But then he got mad…And kicked it! Then the whole thing toppled…And it was like in slow motion…And the whole thing came crashing down on top of him…And he ran crying to his mother…Like it was the building’s fault! Like he just couldn’t figure out what had
happened! Well…You’re not a toddler any more. But you know…There are situations where you still might find yourself wondering why you’re sitting in the middle of a bunch of “colored building blocks” because of your anger. Anger can cause us to do things that we later regret.
I’m sure that’s happened in your loved one’s case with their bipolar disorder.
Anger and rage are symptoms of a bipolar manic episode, and something that you should look out for. Especially if it becomes a pattern in your loved one. Anger is an emotion. A reaction to something. Something you don’t like. Something that, say, rubs you the wrong way. Something that hurts you. Especially if it’s been going on for awhile. And especially if you have no control over it. That’s when we usually react the hardest. Like you may get angry over your loved one’s bipolar behavior. You may not like what they do. So it makes you feel helpless. And this might make you angry. It might even make you angry at them. So what do you do with this anger? Do you fight with them? That’s what usually happens when the supporter gets angry at their loved one with bipolar disorder. The problem is that it’s easy for that to happen in too many cases.
Worse yet is when you stuff that anger and it turns into resentment. Because that can actually make you physically sick. It can cause you to have stomach problems like even have ulcers.
It can cause you to have an increase of headaches, or even have migraines. It can cause you to have body aches. It can cause a whole host of problems. And if you’re not careful…The stress can build up to such a degree that you are even in danger of having a heart attack or even a stroke.
So what’s the answer? It’s simple: Stop being angry. Now, I didn’t say it would be easy. I just said it was simple. Just ask yourself if it’s worth getting sick over just to hold onto all that anger, and you’ll see that the answer is definitely NO! Then choose to put your anger (and stress) away and to talk to your loved one instead. Tell them about the behavior that makes you so angry, and ask them to work on changing it.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
As simple as that! Simply put, just do it!
The hardeset part of anger management is to realize that you are supporting someone who is ill. They don’t look pale, they are not in bed with a fever and they have no casts or crutches. Their anger is displayed in words and actions that are directed to their supporter. I call them attacks. So my best defense is an offense that includes. 1. A reality check on the situation ( Is it real or just emotion) 2. Reenforcement that this will pass ( Tell them it’s temporary feeling) and 3. an attempt to hug (rejected or accepted)
95% of the time the anger is WAY Out of proportion to the incident. Tell them it is and move on.
This was such a great post to read today, hit home big time, even put a lump in my throat!
I am the person with the Bi-polar, and my husband, well he ia not supporter, he has it to but refuses to deal with it, I try and gve him support, but he pushes me away.
There is so so much anger for so long herein this house, stress, anger, resentment, all of what you said in your post is here in this hous, very heavy, unhappy, negitive, so it is hard to deal with the anger when someone constantly pushes and pushes you, makes you feel worthless and useless, lonely, even though many people around, feel very incredibly lonely.
He does not want to deal with anything, does not want to hear anything, so we do not talk about anything, he is very emotionally disconnected, and I ambecoming the same way when it comes to dealing with him and how he treats me, it is the only way to survive and stop being angry like you said in your post.
I have been very angry for a long time, and yes anger does have health and physical issues! I have dealt with migraines, insomnia, and now I am dealing with Angina, and other cardiac issues, supposed to keep my self calm and no stress, right, in this house? good luck, so I disconnect and help my self stay calm and not get angry, how healthy is that to do that? probably not very healthy, our marriage is in serious trouble he takes all his anger out on me, and yes the deep resentment comes in, and that different kind of anger hits, then I disconnect from it all, and the strange calmness comes in….so the post hit home big time, itis a lot of incredible hard to work not to be angry!!
(christina.macdonald168@gmail.com)
Your post on anger was well written. It’s ok to feel anger and hurt especially when the person who is ill says and does awful things. The important thing is what you do with that anger. Of course positive communication and forgiveness is the best end result for the person your caring for and yourself.
a trigger trying to stuff anger????
An exboyfriend i stumbled upon reminded me of the Seat I was sitting in when he saw me look my Radiant code 101010 — HE SAYS THAT’S WHY YOU DONT HAVE A DAUGHTER WITH BIPOLAR OR A DAUGHTER FOR THAT MATTER!
Typical Daddy’s Girl – I can’t just run away Crying to My Abba everytime something Irks me, gotta respond to life’s situations no matter what comes next.
p.s. next time I see that that problem free lady who loves to drink Minute Maid Fruit Juice, I’m going to ask her how she’s doing….she’s in a similar workforce as you – she helps a whole lot of people with problems she could never relate to.
how’s this for torture — the pure in Heart, See God not just anything