Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

The other day I was on my way to a very important meeting. I gave myself plenty of time to get there, just in case something happened like traffic, or anything else I couldn’t predict. It ended up being a good thing I did that.

It ended up I had forgotten I had very little gas in the car. When I got to the gas station, there was a line of cars waiting to get gas. I ended up having to wait 10 minutes before I even got up to the gas pump! I would have been something like 20 minutes late if I hadn’t planned for the unexpected.

And this was a meeting I could not afford to be late to. So it’s a good thing that I thought ahead.

That’s the thing about planning. You can’t plan for everything, because you never know what is going to happen. But if you make room in your plans for the unexpected, then you can handle it when something unexpected happens.

That means you can’t procrastinate on the things that need to get done. If you procrastinate, and you are at the last minute scrambling to get it done, and then something else comes up that needs your immediate attention, you end up having to choose between the two. And especially if that other thing is an emergency, it can really mess up your plans. So it is better to get things done ahead of time, so that if the unexpected should happen, you can handle it.

It also means allowing yourself extra time to do something, like what I did with the meeting. This may mean leaving early to get somewhere. It also may mean keeping a calendar to keep track of when everything is due or when events are happening. If you can see on a monthly calendar all of your upcoming events, then you can figure out which of them needs to be dealt with in what order. I would suggest using a monthly calendar for this, as you can see more dates at a time that way.

So what does this have to do with being a bipolar supporter? Well…

Imagine this scenario. You have a list of things that need to get done over the next week. Everything on your list is very important and can’t wait an extra minute. But you have waited until the last minute to start working on them.

Your loved one has been depressed lately, and all of a sudden you realize that they’re suicidal. That is something that needs to be taken care of immediately, regardless of how important those other tasks might have been.

Now, you may feel like asking “why did they choose now?” But the thing is, they didn’t choose it. You, on the other hand, did choose to wait until the last minute to get those other things done. See what I’m getting at?

Let’s take a less extreme example. You’ve got that task list to do, the one that you’ve procrastinated on. Your loved one ends up going into a manic episode and is likely to go on a spending spree or follow some “crazy” idea if they are not watched closely. Do you stay home and take care of them, or do you ignore your duties as a supporter to get your list done?

You shouldn’t ever have to make this kind of decision. If you get the things you need to get done finished ahead of time, then hopefully you will never have to. You can’t plan for everything, but you can make the most of your time and take certain precautions to make sure you have allowed for the unexpected.

What things do you need to work on when it comes to this?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave