Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.
Maybe you know a story like Lisa’s. Lisa had cancer. She was constantly dealing with her own mortality, and there was a constant struggle to keep her from dying. There were also a lot of good things that went on in Lisa’s life, but most of the time she was so focused on the bad that she couldn’t see them.
One day the doctor caught on to her depression, and told her that she was making her lifespan shorter! He told her that if she didn’t take time to enjoy life sometime soon, that she was quite literally going to kill herself! Her body was already compromised enough, it couldn’t handle the added stress of depression.
Lisa didn’t understand what she was supposed to do, so she asked the doctor what he meant. He told her to stop and smell the roses. There was more to life than just her cancer! There were also things she could enjoy and learn from. But she had been missing them…
Lisa went on to learn to accept her cancer as just part of her life. After some time of enjoying the rest of her life, she got some good news from the doctor: The cancer had gone into remission! The doctor flat-out told her he knew it was because of her change in attitude.
He had seen all sorts of people come through his office with cancer, and the ones that survived were the ones that were positive about things. That doesn’t mean that they were happy they had cancer, or anything stupid like that. It just means that they were able to push past the negative and find other things to focus their energy on.
Hmmm. Stop and smell the roses. How long has it been since you did that? I know, it’s so much easier to just crisis-build. That is to say, it’s so much easier to just focus on the negative until the negative takes over.
Your loved one has a horrible disorder that they’ll never be cured from. This disorder is affecting every aspect of both of your lives, and quite frankly, you’re sick of it. Well, these things are true, and they shouldn’t be ignored per say. But if that is the only way you ever think, then it will wear on you eventually.
People need to think positively. If you want to keep your mental health in tact, you need to make a point to see the positive as well as the negative. The good as well as the bad.
It will also set a good example for your loved one. If they see you acting in a more positive manner because you are thinking on a better level, then they are much more likely to do the same. Which could, in the end, help solve some of those problems that you could have been brooding over.
And the really good thing about enjoying life is – well – it’s enjoyable! It’s not like I’m asking you to do something you’re not going to like. What are the roses you can stop to smell? What ways can you be more positive today?
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
Hi, David. I am impressed by how the Doctor helped Lisa to re-focus her attention and gain remission from Cancer. Well, I have re-focused my life and I am pretty busy with my Catholic Church affairs, prayers, Day-long 1st and 3rd Saturday of the Month Prayers, Healing Sessions and Holy Mass. The Tuesday learning Cenacle has now given me friends with whom we study the Divine Mercy Devotion together. We also do Outreach Evangelization of the Eucharistic Apostolate of the Divine Mercy in Parishes outside Nairobi Archdiocese to other Dioceses in Kenya. My life has changed dramatically, emotionally psychologically and spiritually.
The best I have reaped from this re-focussing is the lessening of back pain from the Disk Degenerative Disease I have suffered from for almost 10 years. It was so bad I had to undergo a 5-hour operation in 2004. But when the problem re-curred, I was advised not to accept another operation. So I was resigned to living on pain killers to enable me to walk and do some exercise and perform some light chores around the house. Since I could not afford Physotherapy, life looked gloomy to me. Until God, in His Loving, Merciful Wisdom led me to the Eucharistic Apostolate of the Divine Mercy. Since then, I am not only eternally grateful to Him, but I am a very, very happy 71 year-old widow.
Dear Dave:
You are so right. Having bipolar disorder is NOT, by any means, a “death sentence”!!! However, allowing it to take over your life, or how you look at life, can and will be, devastating to both you and your loved ones. Trust me, I’ve been thru really nasty bipolar depression where there didn’t seem any point to getting out of bed. I’m not saying that you can change a chemical imbalance in your brain by being more positive, cause it just doesn’t work that way unfortunately. But, even some slight adjustments to the way you are looking at things currently versus the way you’d like to be..can help. Try writing a daily journal, “5 things I can be grateful for today”, if you can’t think of 5, make it 3, or even ONE!! Even seemingly small things count! e.g. I have a pet who gives me unconditional love. I have a close friend whom I can talk to. I am able to take medication to control my symptoms. I am able to get up and go for a walk to clear my head. I like the colour I painted my living-room, it is a soothing blue. The garden came up really nice this summer. These are just several SIMPLE examples of what someone might write. It doesn’t have to be extraordinary or amazing. But it will make you feel better. Also, when you are feeling bad, try doing something nice for someone else, however small…example, the other day I was feeling down because I’m currently unemployed. I went across the street for a coffee and decided, why not buy the tenant downstairs one too? She is disabled and cannot work. At least I can work! She really appreciated the gesture, and before long, I actually felt better. There is always someone else worse off than you.
To all living with Bipolar Disorder: I feel for you because I’m there too!!!
I love this that you shared with us today. Even if you aren’t bipolar everyone needs to enjoy life and it’s blessings. Sometimes it’s just harder for those of us that are challenged.
God Bless
David, your articles are very good. But I noticed in this one there is a spelling error. I hope you will not be offended if I point out to you that the Latin phrase is per se, not per say.
Also, I am receiving two identical emails each time you send one!
Otherwise, keep up the great work!
Thank you David,you are an angel.
Hi David! I noticed this said Bipolar Supporters Blog. I’m one who has bipolar disorder. I had to tell you that I have been extremely depressed since I found out that my mate does not beieve that I have bipolar disorder. After reading this email it really made me remember that I used to be real positive. I’m going to start walking again. There are so many beautiful things to see while walking. I had been making excuses that it’s just too hot since I’m in Texas. Not in the evenings. At least it is tolerable. I have felt fat and ugly. But you know, only I can change that. People said I used to light up a room when I entered it. I know why and I can fix that too. After reading about Lisa I thought, “You think you got it tough!” Life IS what we make of it! Thank you for waking me up to remember I can be positive if I just try.
Yes being positive is good and smelling the roses too, but remember we all have a short life here, but what about the everlasting life?? Remember God promised life ever lasting, so maybe we should dwell a little more on our spiritul side of life. Pray to God to strenthen us to endure things, walk in his footsteps and obey his laws. Believe in the resurrection like the bible talks about. Learn about who God is and what the bible tells us of his Son Jesus Christ. The best and oldest book in the world and available to all who want God in thier lives.
THIS IS A LIFE SENTENCE!!!SMELLS GOOD!!!
News in the mainstream media is often negative and depressing. There is a website that focusses only on the positive, happy news articles that never make it to the forefront of the daily news. http://www.happynews.com. It gives me an uplift when I am down.
Our glass is 1/2 full…..
Thank you very much for the uplifting message,yes we have to start smell the roses again, eventhough the whole world is full of evil. thanks Dave