Bipolar: Remember Monopoly?

Hi,

Do you remember the game Monopoly? We played it when we were kids. You may even play it with your own children or grandchildren now. The thing about Monopoly was that it took soooo long, remember? If you were going to play the game right, you had to plan to play it for HOURS!!! And that’s a LONG time to a kid. Did you ever play a game of Monopoly, and you were winning, and all of a sudden everyone else wanted to quit? Where did that leave you?

Frustrated, huh? Disappointed? Maybe even angry? Because you were winning the game when all of a sudden everyone else decided to do something else. They “changed the rules” on you.

In order to win, you have to play the game the whole way through, so you might have felt gypped of your win. And you wouldn’t like that, because you felt entitled to that win! You did the work for it…You played by the rules…You put in the time…You played well…And you were supposed to win. But children (and some adults) don’t always have the patience to make it through a whole game of Monopoly. They might already be onto the next activity, and you’re sitting there pouting! Which, of course, will get you nowhere except left out of the next fun activity of playing. It just doesn’t seem fair to you.

Well, that’s kind of like how bipolar disorder works. Things can change unexpectedly. You could be doing everything right…You could be playing by the rules…Doing everything you’re supposed to be doing…Putting in all the time and effort to “win”…And all of a sudden the rules change on you! All of a sudden the things that you’ve always done aren’t working this time! You see signs and symptoms of an episode approaching. You better do something quick! No, this isn’t what you expected. No, this isn’t what you wanted. But just pouting about it isn’t going to get you stable. And if you’re a supporter, just pouting about it isn’t going to help your loved one one bit.

It isn’t fair! You might want to exclaim. No, it isn’t fair. But it is a reality you have to deal with.

Just because the rules change in mid-game, doesn’t mean you stop “playing” it.

You have to continue to do the things that make you stable. Just like a supporter has to keep doing the things they normally do to support you. By both of you working together, you can come out of the episode faster.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

  1. That’s 100% correct. I’m hanging on for dear life at the moment as the rules have changed again. It’s nearly 3 years since I was really depressed. 2012 was extremely challenging but got through it. Now we’re in 2013 & I’ve been put in a horrible position. I have to say no but it’s not so easy with children involved. I’m being pressures into doing something will undoubtedly effect my mental health & parenting. 15 years of a codependent relationship, only I’m no longer dependant. It’s having a huge effect on me already & I’ve become extremely antisocial & dread talking to people.

  2. On Monopoly… Our family plays it only occasionally, but we start out with specific time frame, and any other changes to the rules. We play for 1 hour or 1 1/2 hours and quit on time. It makes the game more fun. I know you can’t always change the rules in life, but it’s worth thinking about. Rules aren’t always made to be broken, but if they are set in advance – it makes it easier to tolerate. Sometimes they are a safety net for life too.

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