Hi,

When you were little, did you play pretend? Like…If you were a boy…Did you pretend to be an astronaut? Or a cowboy? Or an Indian? Or a superhero? Or if you were a girl…Did you pretend to be a princess? Or a ballerina? Or an actress? Or a model? Yes, it was fun to pretend when we were little, wasn’t it? It was part of being a kid. But then we got older, and we didn’t play “pretend” any more. We had to deal with adult issues and adult problems. Like bipolar disorder.

You just can’t “make” your problems go away by pretending they don’t exist. Unfortunately, some people do. That’s how they get themselves into trouble. Like…I heard of this couple. They got into trouble with their finances. So they weren’t able to make their mortgage payment. Well, this went on for a couple months. Instead of talking to the mortgage company about it, they just ignored it and tried to pretend that the problem didn’t exist, hoping it would go away. Not very realistic of them, was it? So you can probably guess what happened next. Yep. They foreclosed on the house. And this couple lost their house just because they pretended that the problem didn’t exist instead of facing it and trying to do something about it.

Now…I tell you that to tell you this: I don’t want that to be you. There are some supporters of a loved one with bipolar disorder who do pretend. Yep. They go along like they have blinders on and try to pretend that their loved one is just going to get better someday without doing anything about it. Then there are others whose loved ones are clearly in a bipolar episode, but they just pretend like nothing is wrong. That’s a real dangerous type of pretending. I want you to be realistic. Face the problem and deal with it. Pretending that the problem doesn’t exist won’t

make it better. Look at that couple who lost their house.

You may not be in a very good situation with your loved one right now. For example, you may be fighting a lot. That can happen when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder. But ignoring it will just make it worse. And ignoring your loved one can just make them angrier, and the fighting can just get worse. And you don’t want that. So be realistic. If you have a problem with your loved one and some behavior that they’re doing, bring it out in the open and deal with it. Talk to them about it. Tell them how you feel. Ask them to stop the behavior. Set some boundaries and limits.

Set down some consequences to the behavior. Do what you have to do. But just don’t pretend that the problem doesn’t exist. Because it won’t go away on its own. You have to do something about it.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave