Hi, how are you? I hope you’re doing good.
You’ve heard the expression, “No pain, no gain,” haven’t you? Well, I work out a lot, so it’s a real familiar saying around the gyms. I wanted to talk to you today about that. About how everything has a cost. Especially your loved one’s bipolar disorder. Stability is NOT going to
come easy for them. You will both have to go through some pain.
Like when they have episodes. If you’ve been with your loved one during a depressive episode, then you know they are in emotional pain at that time. And you may feel helpless or frustrated by it, because there doesn’t seem to be anything you can do to help them.
But just being a good supporter to them at those times might be all you can do. Be there for them. Listen when they want to talk. Be loving and supportive. Eventually, they will come out
of the episode. And you will have gained something.
In looking back at the episode, you can both determine what caused it, and avoid that in the future. That’s called a “trigger” – something that makes your loved one go into a bipolar episode.
The more familiar you are with your loved one’s triggers, the more you can avoid them, and your loved one will have less episodes. Your loved one will go through a lot before they reach stability.
What if they go into a manic episode? There is definitely some pain with that. Because it’s usually the manic episode that will have consequences to it. And some of these can cause mental or emotional pain. Like, for instance, if your loved one went on a spending spree while in a manic episode, your pain will be in the area of finances. You may hurt financially for a while before you get things straightened out.
But again, like with a bipolar depressive episode, you can learn from a manic episode as well. You can gain from the pain. Each episode should teach you something. If nothing else, you should be learning what your loved one’s triggers to a manic episode are. And you can learn how to avoid them. You should be learning about what leads to stability for your loved one.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
Dear Dave,
As always, I appreciate your emails so much. Everything you said in today’s email is so true. Even though each episode your loved one goes through is very painful, there is always something to be learned.
We know so much more now than we did 11 years ago when our son first got sick. Your words are comforting, especially since you understand first hand how it is to suppport a loved one with Bipolar Disorder. Your mother is very blessed to have you for a son.
Thank you for all that you do and God bless you and your family.
Sincerely,
Lola
Clermont, Florida
I wanted to reply to this one. It is true what you are saying but for most people the only insurance they can get is medicaid. I fought for months to get my medicaid back just for them to tell me at the place I was going to for counsoling prior to being cut off that they no longer accepted it for counsoling only for psychiatry. AND they had to do another intake since it had been 8 months since I had been there. I haven’t had the intake yet because the appointment was 3 months out. EVEN THOUGH I told them that I have been living WITHOUT my meds for 8 months and it is getting harder and harder to work and do everyday things. I still have about a month and a half to go. and NOW in light of all this, I find out that most places DO NOT take medicaid for adults for counsoling which I desperately need. A service coordinator that works with my son thinks I have tell tale signs of aspergers which that and bipolar are often misdiagnosed for each other, and there are no resourses for adults to be tested for that either. and NOW to top all of that off, they are cutting funding for medicaid for mental health. I work for a man with CP who goes and talks to legislature all of the time, I am advocating myself now, and we get the news on these things most of the time before the public does. The cuts are going to be bad and steep and leave alot of people out in the cold. So yes, I know full well about treatment and what I need to be doing, but they put so many road blocks up its like you run out of gas before the traffic jam ends.
Tracy
Hi,thanks for yuors advisement,that wen I have memori I feel the same or wors,in anothers country this condition is trade like anxiate and depression sindrome,I corrently have 44, and is only 2 years a go I have the correct medication.yuo can imagin how manny mistake and prroblems go in on in all this years,I have 4 childrens (2 bipolar) different mariage and the worst you fell bad,but yuo don’t know yuo ar sick,I try to explain but is to manny years,I feel much better,same days not,but is not the same crises,I need to be strong for my childrens the 2 bigs 21 and 19 they have thei ownen crisis is difficult wen yuo ar adolescent I remenber me,I work in the medical feel and I feel my job help me thanks tania