Hey,
I have some good news and bad news. The bad news is that
the news is not ready. Normally I send it out. But Andrea,
my webmaster is swamped and her kids have been sick.
So, I am sending a bipolar lesson today about big old
Jimmy (285 pound man).
In the gym where I train, there’s a number of hard core lifters.
These are people that have one desire. Well two. To get as big
and as strong as possible. This is their number one goal. It’s
ahead of anything else.
I have a friend named Jimmy. He is kind of like this but not
as bad. Being big and strong is a priority to him. He is 285
pounds probably about 5 foot 7 inches. He is MASSIVE. He works
out with 495 pounds on the bench like it’s absolutely nothing.
I was in the gym and Jimmy came in and he was hungry. He’s generally
always hungry.
He came in and said “Dude let’s go to all you can eat Chinese
food.” I didn’t say anything. Then Big Ed said okay, cool.
Then Anthony said okay. They looked at me and I was like “No
I have to work out, I can’t and plus it’s not my f.r.e.e day.”
Side note: I body build non competitively. NO I don’t put grease
all over my body and NO I don’t wear those shorts on stage. I do
it as a hobby and do NOT actually go into competitions.
Back to the story, they were like what??? “Let’s go….forget
f.r.e.e days.”
I explained how I couldn’t go, I had to train, I had work to
do, I am not hungry, I am not going to just drop my workout,
etc. etc.
Jimmy was like “Dude, take your skirt off and let’s go.”
NOTE-Take off your skirt is like slang. It suggests that
since I won’t go, I must be a woman, therefore wearing a shirt
and if I take it off, I will go. Make sense? Probably not
but just keep reading.
We went back and forth. He was seriously trying to coerce
me into going to all you can eat tons and tons of
Chinese food.
I said no and then he got all confused and walked away kind of mad.
What’s this have to do with bipolar disorder?
Thinking about how I said no to Jimmy made me think of bipolar
disorder. For some reason, it seems that many people have friends
that give people advice that works against your ultimate goal.
If you have bipolar disorder, you might be told, stay up late,
do whatever you want, you only live once. My mom has been told
this. This is BAD ADVICE. Friends tell you stuff that goes
against what you really should be doing.
If you are a supporter, friends might tell you to abandon your loved
one, give up on them, take your loved one to the city all night long and party and drink, or something that makes no sense at all.
You have to stand firm and put your foot down and say no.
Something that runs counter to what you feel is right. As a side
note in my course at:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
I offer f.r.e.e. consultation certificates for NON medical
and NON legal questions. I have found that most people that
use them, and what my advice or opinion on something already know
the answer and are looking for someone to validate what they
already know.
With that said, I want you to think about this?
How many friends have given you bad advice about dealing
with bipolar disorder? Whether you are a supporter or have
the disorder yourself?
THINK and then scroll down…
You really have to be careful. I don’t know why this is, but
many people that are suppose to be friends give bad advice. I
believe this is because some secretly don’t want you to do
well or to get ahead of where they are. It’s really strange.
NO I don’t have paranoid personality disorder. I first
figure this out reading a book called Think and Grow Rich
about 18 years ago.
In the book the author asserts that the worst people to
bring a new idea to is your friends because they will
shoot it down.
This is really true. Think about any good idea you’ve had
related to bipolar disorder and if you tell many, they will
tell you the 83 reasons it won’t work.
For example, let’s say you’re new to my list, your loved one
isn’t doing well. You find my site. You say, “Hey I found
this site and this guy David has a system to help me
help my loved one. I think this is the answer.”
Most likely they will say “Oh no, that won’t work. Oh it’s a scam.
No way. You’ve tried everything. He’s probably just after your
m.o.n.e.y”
It’s really funny. My brother, who doesn’t speak to anyone any
more is like this.
I will NEVER forget this. I told him I invented a way for my
mom to protect her c.r.e.d.i.t, get out of d.e.b.t and fix
her finances. It in this system at http://www.bipolarcentral.com/debtletter
He said and I quote “Don’t waste your time. There’s no hope
for her.”
That really made me mad. And I am happy to report that my mom’s
almost out of debt and did so by herself, following the system
I made for her. Even though I made the system, SHE DID IT HERSELF.
You know what? I just looked at the clock and I have to eat
get ready in only 12 minutes.
I will catch you tomorrow or later today.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Post responses on my blog please:
http://supporterblog.blogspot.com/
P.P.S. I am going to make “Say no to Jimmy tee shirts
and give them out in the gym . LOL”
Hello Dave.
I am new to the bipolar illness. I have recently started dating a guy who has bipolar illness. I have not experienced any symptoms of this disease. I am interested in having a serious relationship with this guy. I also feel that it is important for me to understand the illness and to know what I can do to help him with this illness in order for us to have a healthy relationship. I have ordered one of your classes, but I am not sure that I ordered the correct one even though I think it will help me to understand bipolar. Please guide me in the right direction to find help with my situation.
Thank you,
Sue
Hi Dave,
I have been getting information from you for a long time now. I just want you to know that you have helped me a lot, even though I have not purchased anything. I look for your posts every day and I really get a “kick” out of them. Thanks for all your help in helping me deal with Bipolar.
Thanks, Jan
Aloha Dave,
I loved your illustration about “Jimmy” today and the lesson it taught on bad advice. It takes an astutely aware person to recognize bad advice and a disciplined person to stand their own against it.
You seemed to instinctually know that partaking in that Food Fest would hinder your efforts in the gym that day.
May I encourage you to adopt a similar attitude toward the naysayers. A steady “diet” of unwarranted and rude comments given in ignorance could potentially greatly undermine your happiness concerning your achievements.
Excercising similar discipline in deflecting these assults is also a learned technique. Be aware not to let them penetrate deeply. You are far too valuable a person for the greater number of us to lose.
Denise
Hi Dave
I am new to your website and want to tell you how much i look forward to your emails each day.ive had a very tough week with my husband who i am seperated from due to bipolar disorder,he is in a manic state at the moment so you will know where ime coming from.I have tried the calm approach only to receive a barrage of verbal abuse ime trying so hard to try and understand how he feels but its all getting on top of me.kids keep asking whats up mum why do you keep crying, ime up and down feel like ime loosing grip but trying to hang in there.My husband was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 5 years ago,but has suffered for much longer but went undiagnosed,you would think ime used to it by now wouldnt you? any ways all you people out there who are caring for someone special in their life because thats what they are very special people, hang in there i beleive there is a light at the end of the tunnel but ime still searching.luv u lots glen xx
Dear David.
Well. Dave, when I talked to you last Saturday I certainly did not expect to more or less make your “Headline News” and I most certainly did not intent to sadden you at all. Although, if you knew our whole story I’m sure it would sadden almost all. But, if I ever do tell the WHOLE thing I want to use it only as a way of encouraging others who have not had it quite so badly and in hopes that they may learn something from it.
Twenty three years is a long time to go through something that carries you through emotions like: embarrassment, fear, guilt, grief, confusion, doubt, unanswered questions, sleepless nights, many, many tears, numerous breakdowns family estrangments, friends who avoid you, who don’t like and fear your loved one, endless days and nights of people being brought into our home that normally most people would walk around on the street or avoid altogether, feeding them(when you have hardly enough to put on the table to feed your own) and trying to make them feel comfortable, when you don’t yourself–just to pacify your bipolar loved one, who has such a low self esteem that he feel like that those are the only people he feels comfortable with. We’ve had them in some cases stay up to 10 days to only find out when they left that more thingsare missing out of our home and our deep freeze out in the garage.
Fifteen years ago you would have called us upper middle class people, but now, well, we’re broke. The quote of #350,000 I gave you the other day has just been since the year 2000. That’s not the whole story. If and when I do decide to tell the “whole story” it want be to cause sadness, sympathy or any ill feelings. It will be written to encourage others who think they have it so bad, in which some cases they DON’T! Not to mean that anytime you are dealing with bipolar whether it be yourself or a loved one is easy, it’s not!
Our son is now 38 years old. We have been battling for him for 23 of those years. For the first 15 years I battles it alone. It wasn’t until he was 30 that we finally received the proper diagnosis. Everthing everyone told us to that point I kept stomping my feet and screaming “But we’re not getting to the root of the problem! There’s more. I know my son!” And their reply was ” I was just trying to be an over protective mother!” When all along deep down in my heart and soul I knew differently.
It is a battle, but one each of us must face if we care for our loved one and their well being.
Where you find your strength is up to you, but it has to be from someone that you believe is a greater power than you think you are. I find my strength in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Even though I have had three breakdowns I have always come out stronger in the long run. I know God has a way of protecting us when he knows we have had enough, sometimes more than we do ourselves. I think it is His way of shutting us down when our mind is in overload. And even though I feel another coming on now, I know what I need to do. He placed me here on this earth to help others, and now he has lead me to David and all you other people. I have always been a care giver and God blessed me with that gift. Not only for my son, but for many others as well.
I searched for 2 1/2 years for a business on the internet that would allow me to do that and after much prayer He lead me to it. David, I am not wishing to advertise, but I can help others anywhere. If you feel that you can trust me and I can prove you can, please allow me help in anyway those that need financial help. There are several ways in which I can do it. I’ll be more than happy to discuss it with you in private or anyone else that is interested.
ATTENTION: DAWN
Read your post where you were trying to find college funding. Go to your local ISD. There will be someone there that writes grants for the school. They may can help you write a grant to help get college funding especially since being disabled! If not, call on the local non-profit foundations and orgs. and ask them about someone there that writes grants. Just stay away from the internet scams. I.ve been there. (
THEOUS & SOPHEA) The others want a lot of money or they want to sell you a kit ($39.00 up) to coach you through writing one yourself. Believe me, if it were that easy, we’d all be writing grants all the time. Because we just about ALL qualify for one, especially those of us that are disabled. Let me know how you do. I’ll be interested. And if none of these work out we’ll figure ouy some-
thing else. Okay?
DAVE: You would probably qualify for one too with the kind of help you are providing. For expanding, etc.
Gotta go for now. Someone else needs puter.
When you come to the end of all the light you have ever known and are about to step out into total darkness, FAITH is knowing one of two things will happen. There will be a step for you to stand on or you will learn to FLY!
God bless you Dave and all,
Nancy