Bipolar Lesson From a Rose

Hi,

I read a poem the other day, and I thought It was really beautiful.

Here it is:

Life is like a rose.

In order to partake of its beauty

You must also suffer the pain of

Its thorns

———————————————————————————————————————

Now, that may be a good statement about life in general, but I’ll tell you what it has to do with

bipolar disorder. It was written by someone who has bipolar disorder herself — Michele, who works for me.

So let’s talk about what she says, and how it does relate to bipolar disorder. We’d all like our loved one’s bipolar disorder to go along without a hitch. We’d love it if they were medication complaint, stuck with their treatment plan, had no more episodes, always saw their doctors, therapists, etc., without complaining… We’d love it if they would always take care of

themselves (so we wouldn’t have to)… Stick to a good diet (and never cheat)… Exercise (and not get lazy)… And sleep right (never staying up too late to watch those late movies or TV shows).

We’d love it if we had a stress-free life as a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder.

Yes, we’d love those things. But that’s not reality, is it? The reality is like what Michele wrote about the rose. You have to take the bad with the good. A rose is very beautiful. But it also has its thorns. Just like bipolar disorder. It has its good days. But it also has its bad days too, doesn’t it? What a beautiful life it would be if we didn’t have to deal with bipolar disorder…

NOT TRUE! We’d still have to deal with life itself. And, like the poem, which was NOT about

bipolar disorder, by the way, it was about LIFE… No life is perfect.

You’d still have to deal with many of the same problems you’re having to deal with that you are

now with your loved one’s bipolar disorder. So what I’m trying to say is… Don’t feel sorry for yourself when times get bad, because they would get bad sometimes with or without having to deal with bipolar disorder in your life. That’s just life itself.

If you have communication problems with your loved one who has bipolar disorder, you would probably have communication problems with them even if they didn’t have bipolar disorder. If you have problems with expressing your thoughts and feelings, and/or you tend to “stuff” them now, you probably would anyway, and that would still be a problem. If you feel distant from your loved one at times, you would probably feel distant from them even if they didn’t have

bipolar disorder. If you tend to get stressed and anxious, you would probably still get stressed and anxious whether your loved one had bipolar disorder or not. If you are short-tempered and tend to get angry easily, it is probably not because of your loved one’s bipolar disorder – it just may be the way you are.

What I’m saying is that you can’t blame all your problems on your loved one’s bipolar disorder.

Some of your problems would still be there whether your loved one had bipolar disorder or not.

Learn from the Lesson of the Rose.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

  1. I am glad I found your site it is very helpful. My daughter was recently diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder and has been hospitalized. She has had mania and seems to hate me at the moment this is very painful as we had a good relationship before this happened. There were no warning signs this happened after she had a minor surgery she is 18 years old. I am trying to learn as much as I can about the illness, it is so hard to separate illness verses what she can control sometimes I feel like she is border on abusing me not physical but emotional. Thanks for listening.

  2. I really look forward to your postings. We found out my Husband suffers from Bi polar about 3 years ago. It has been a struggle trying to find the right medications, right therapist. Some days are much harder than others. Todays poem really helped. Thank you

  3. I think today’s posting was very true and Encouraging under the Guise of a Bi Polar Supporter we try to cover up all our Shortcomings under it,Hence a good eye opener

  4. AHHH BUT IT WAS OCTOBER’S ROSE THAT TOUCHED MAJESTICALLY

    isn’t the Thorn usually the “role” that’s assumed in a given situation.

    much too many people give others permission to “institutionalize” or “medicate” a non existing problem – My friend’s husband to be ran to Church today to have a talk with a person that’s qualified to help in his unique situation, my friend also mentioned He never opens up to her…..that shed light (perhaps she was assuming a bipolar mother role in his life) and a Biological mother at 49 years old is the last thing he needed…..

    needless to say, A Prep is on it’s way……

  5. My friend who is 49 years old (she’s so proud to brang on that age) not my spouse is bipolar so i know alot about covering a “loved ones”s shortcomings.

    I’m a custodian’s daughter, sometimes you just find yourself mopping up another’s mess.

  6. i know a truly blessed person….what a beautiful life she still reflects……one thing ,she is dealing with bipolar and many other problems (as I heard one problem brings on another). Here’s her situation – she’s actually not the one with the problem, however she has this not so blessed skill of attracting people with problems whether are “sent” or “she unintentionally has them drawn close to her”.

    i saw her Saturday and asked how other people’s stories were affecting her these days – she said her stress and pressure went down tremendously when Her Father made her aware that she was taking on their personalities and losing herself to them. She immediately started letting go of her need to control an “already established” and simply started living…..in that way she allowed a Higher Power to guide her environments, her life and even those she continually attracts. She’s much happier and calmer – she’s returning back to that Blessed State that I once met her a while ago.

  7. i had to help my friend today as this what she represents to her sister — those thorns…her sister is very beautiful however she is not easy to approach as she has “prickly” aura due to dealing with one too many people with bipolar so i quoted the quote below to my friend and she understands…..how to be a GOOD SISTER TO HER OWN SISTER NOT A NEIGHBOR NOT A LOVER (as her sister has been known to make this very clear) you know those thorns on roses right…

    there’s love thy neighbor (this is easy) as you’ll take the neighbor with the thorns — then there’s cohabitating with annoying family members and crossing those boundaries (that’s not easy)

    You have to take the bad with the good.

    A rose is very beautiful.

    But it also has its thorns.

    Just like bipolar disorder.

    It has its good days.

    But it also has its bad days too, doesn’t it?

    Thank you Dave – now my friend differentiates the kids and her sister, her beau and her sister, her friends and her sister! Yay! that’s one small step towards progress in this area

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