Hi,

Did you know that in the state of Florida, it is perfectly legal NOT to wear a helmet if you ride a motorcycle? Now, I personally have a problem with that. Because I think that’s really dangerous. Just because the law says it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s necessarily what I call best practices. Best practices is what you do to get the best result…Or things you do to be the most effective in given situations.

So, say, what would NOT be best practices would be fighting with your loved one to get your point across. Do you agree? So what might be a better way? Best practices would be communicating your wants and needs in a way your loved one can understand.

For example… You might try getting them to see your point of view by relating it to theirs. If they have been laying around depressed and not being productive, you could say something like… “You know I try to do things around here to show you that you are valuable, and I would appreciate it if you did the same thing.”

If this general approach doesn’t work, you might have to give some specific examples to back up

your statement to get them to understand your point. But the main point here is that best practices are to talk things out instead of fighting about them.

Another best practice is to try not to stress your loved one out, as that can lead to a bipolar episode…And you don’t want that. So you want to keep things as stress free as

possible.

As I was saying…One way of doing that is just not to fight with them. Another way is to keep the home environment as stress free as you can make it. That would mean limiting those bugging phone calls to not when they are trying to relax, for instance… Or at least intercepting them. You could tell the person that your loved one is busy and will call them back later, for example. Then give your loved one a chance to relax…Maybe even eat dinner first…Before they have to deal with the person’s phone call.

And it’s definitely good if you intercept those annoying phone solicitor’s calls! Same thing about answering the door. You know…Those people who come to the door to solicit.

Try to keep them from bugging your loved one.

Also…If the TV bugs your loved one, try to keep on some relaxing music or just the silence.

Or let them watch what they want to watch on TV for awhile (if it will avoid a fight)…A couple I know solved this problem by simply putting a TV in the other room for the other person to watch what they wanted. Now they both get to watch what they want when they disagree on what to watch…And there are no more fights! Of course, you don’t want to do this too often…

As you still want to spend some time together. But you want that time to be quality time. So making that time stress free is certainly best practices.

It is also best practices not to let your loved one get away with unacceptable behavior. That’s where best practices would be setting limits as to what you will tolerate. You can just say to them something like: “I love you, but when you act like this, I will not tolerate it, and I will ignore you until you stop.” Then… ignore them. Eventually, they will stop.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave