Bipolar: Is Love Enough?

Hi,

You know, we read all the time about people who get into trouble with the law, who even do really serious crimes like murder. And we wonder about their background…We wonder what made them that way. What was their life like growing up? Was it terrible for them? Were they abused? And it’s very surprising when we sometimes find out that they came from a home where their mother loved them very much. So you come to ask yourself: “Is love enough?”

Sometimes you get to the point where you ask yourself “Is love enough?” when it comes to dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder, too. Like you may wonder after you read the following email that I got recently:

“At this point, i have to say I’m at the very end of the rope now, and I’m losing my grip now. Few days ago, my man was at his worst, he wanted to leave me, I didn’t stop him this time as i was so emotionally and physically exhausted. Then he left the country and planning to die alone in a strange land. Last night, I almost lost him. I tried every possible effort i could to hold him back by threatening him with my life. Finally I managed to hold him back for one more day, but I don’t know what’s going to happen the next day. And I don’t know how much longer can I hold on to this end of the rope on one hand and holding him on the other. I feel like I’m losing my grips on both hands now. I love this man very much and i know he loves me deeply too. But at this point, I don’t know what else can i say or do to help him get out of this darkness,

especially when he’s now in such a faraway land.”

———————————————————————————————————————

It certainly does sound like this woman is at the end of her rope, doesn’t it? I can just imagine all the things she’s already been through with this man before she’s gotten to this point. And now you can just hear the desperation coming through in her email. Like when she says at the very beginning of her email: “At this point, i have to say I’m at the very end of the rope now, and I’m losing my grip now” And again later when she says: “I feel like I’m losing my grips on both hands now.”

Things can get so bad that you may feel as this woman does: “I didn’t stop him this time as i was so emotionally and physically exhausted.” If you do, know that it is common for a supporter to feel that way.

Then, she says, he left the country to die in a strange land. She doesn’t say whether he was planning to kill himself, but we can assume that. That’s because 1 in 5 people with bipolar disorder will kill themselves. So he could very well be one of the statistics. Bipolar disorder could have driven him to that point of desperation. But look at what point of desperation trying to deal with it drove this woman to: She says: “I tried every possible effort i could to hold him

back by threatening him with my life.” That’s pretty desperate, too. And sometimes, as a supporter, you can get to feeling that desperate as well. Like when you’ve “tried every possible effort,” as she had.

She says she loves him very much, as I’m sure you love your loved one very much, but is love enough? This woman needs to get this man into treatment as soon as possible, if there is to be any hope for recovery for him. That’s the best hope for your loved one as well. Because love is just not enough when it comes to bipolar disorder.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

  1. Is only love enough?? I say, no, when yours loved one have bipolar, I agree.. you need meds, good scrink, and many others tools to keep him/her in fit.. and I start to think, them are called: loved one.. so, ther is love also.. othervice we call them; clients, those, costumers, etc.. so, there is that thing called love. So, with those other tools and with love we can keep them on much connected in real life. What is our part on then? I think it is live with them anyhow and of cource USE those others tools as best as we can.

    Well, here things goes bit better now, after long maina episode.. now, I can recharge my batteries and just gain back that love what we has just talked today. I do hope all best moments of life with or without our loved ones.

    -pekka

  2. John Lennon had the perfect solution for the world we live in: ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

    I have an officer friend who I saw today that reminded me, “for you” it’s just Smooth Sailing from this point on

    Your only sister is bipolar, your aunt was bipolar and your former employer was Bipolar but some how you’ve managed to steal away three weeks of vacation to find what truly matters (how you are seen in the eyes of the one you love), and LOVE AND HAPPINESS WITH THE RIGHT PERSON.

    “YOUR MOTHER MUST BE TRULY HAPPY AS SHE LOOKS DOWN ON YOU FROM THE HEAVEN”

    I SAID THANKS OFFICER, I OWE YOU A BOX OF DONUTS – HE JUST SMILED AND WENT ABOUT HIS DAY!!!

  3. My heart goes out to this lady. The worst thing must be the fact that he has gone to a foreign country, where they might not understand bipolar disorder n he could end up in big trouble. After my loved one’s last big bad episode I decided I couldn’t go on being in a part time on n off relationship, but would continue to be his friend n supporter. At the beginning of the year he signed himself back into the psych ward for 2 months in a deep depression. When he was discharged he was happy n very sensible, making all the right decisions. Then someone wound him up again (it doesn’t take much to get him stressed these days) n it didn’t take long to be on his way into another episode. The doctors adjusted his meds probably a bit too late. A couple of weeks ago he stayed with me for a few days completely doing my head in. While he stayed on meds n off drink the threats n paranoia were minor, but the endless talk, religiosity n delusions did my nut. At first he was helpful, fixing things in the house, cleaning, cooking, etc. Not only did i have work to do, I also had to do all the shopping, as he wouldn’t leave the house in fear of being seen by the doctors or police he believed were chasing him. While I was at work, my dear friend went rooting around the house n bit by bit many of my belongings started to disappear. Jewellery, ornaments, books, cd’s, even clothes. When I approached him he denied having hidden anything away n made out that I was scatty n couldn’t remember where I put my stuff. On earth level he likes my cooking, but in an episode he finds fault with everything. Apparently my cooking is not adventurous enough, because I don’t put barbecue sauce in coffee, sugar on sausages or even catfood into sandwiches – yikes! One of his symptoms of an episode is eating some really weird food concoctions. A week ago he went “on his travels” n nobody knows where he is. He is in regular contact, cleverly using other people’s phones so nobody can trace him. The last time I heard from him he did sound much calmer n happier. Is it possible that he can sort himself out without professional help? He wants to go to Egypt n thank God he has no visa or any papers to get him on a plane – he would not be safe there. He is somewhere in the country, probably in disguise under an assumed name. As long as he stays calm n off the drink he maybe ok. However, he will run out of meds n money before long, which can’t be good. I don’t want to involve the police after what happened last time, also promised him not to. Some of my belongings are still missing, though I found a big stash in the garage. My love for him helps him to an extend, but I have no love for his bipolar disorder. The meds don’t seem to be working, as this is the third episode in 2 years.

  4. Dear Friend,

    i have a bit of a different start — see I am the one that comes from a troubled past (I’ve attracted quite a bad pattern that was revealed to me by past jobs and relationships) I’ve even been told that that’s why some were praying for my “situation” to change in these two areas.

    I have recently met a wonderful human being and i brought this past in the person’s life and I am a much better human myself because this person has demonstrated “empathy” right from the start and now it’s going towards the path of unconditional love. This person calls herself a Pilgrim (which she describes as everywhere I go I am never truly home as Home is Nirvana! I enjoy everywhere I go don’t get me wrong, it’s just that i project “home” on jobs, friends, and relationships so this helps me adapt to each situation. I’ve learned so much from her! Call her the “Unseen One” – THE STUDENT OF LIFE – FOR WE ARE ALL TEACHERS AND WE TEACH EACH ONE WHAT OUR STORY IS AND THEY LEARN BY “replicating” or repeating our every lesson – this is what is brought in “mutual relationships” not general ones;

    By the way I’ve had a bad pattern of talking to people inside my house as if they were beaus and neighbors – i’ve since been healed and accept each person as a unique person.

    As the student what I’m learning is to bring better energy into my job and current relationship and in this sense – LOVE IS SUFFICIENT!

    My love for her helps her to soar and experience what I’ve already known she’s always been accustomed to. She is worth getting up at 5 am for to enjoy pancake breakfast at McDonalds! – Unconditional Love from a Loyal Friend.

    a separated branch rejoices!

  5. Hi!

    What happens when you reach a point in your life when that’s all you know Love Love Love

    way too much love now – but is love all that’s necessary? There’s always other areas that can still be stabilized in “loved ones” lives.

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