Hi,
Here’s an interesting challenge for you to think about: I dare you to be happy.
Yep, just like when we were kids, and somebody dared you to do something. Or double-dared you… I dare you to be happy.
You might ask me, “Well, Dave, how can I be happy when I suffer from bipolar disorder or
depression?” Well, I still dare you to be happy!
See, happiness is a state of mind – an attitude. It doesn’t depend on whether everything is going
right in your life. It has to do with how you FEEL about your life.
Everything doesn’t have to be perfect for you to be happy. You don’t have to have everything going your way for you to be happy. You don’t even have to have everything under control
for you to be happy. And your happiness does not depend on whether you are cured or not.
I know a person who has bipolar disorder, and she still has episodes from time to time, but she is still happy. This is because she has a good life, and even though she still has episodes (because she still has a chemical imbalance in her brain), she has learned how to manage her bipolar disorder. This woman is one of the most positive people you’d ever want to meet.
See, this is what I’m talking about. This woman still has bipolar disorder, but she is HAPPY!
It’s all about your state of mind (your attitude) towards life and your problems in it. You can choose to focus on the negative or you can choose to focus on the positive. You can choose to be unhappy or you can choose to be happy. Yes, happiness is a CHOICE. One that YOU can make!
So…I dare you to be happy!
In life, there are some things you have control over, and some things that you don’t have control over: Your attitude is one of the things you DO have control over. Regardless of your moods, or the mood swings that come with bipolar disorder, that is. And for supporters of loved ones with bipolar disorder, who might suffer with depression, it’s the same thing. You could be depressed from time to time, but you can still be happy.
I know, that sounds weird, doesn’t it? But depression is a temporary state of mind – it will pass, if you let it.
But generally speaking, you can be a positive person. You can make a CHOICE to be happy.
You can control your attitude, and still be happy with your life, you can still be happy with yourself, you can still be happy with things in general. You can change the things in your life that you have the power to change. This will make you happy. Or you can accept the things that you cannot change, which will also make you happy. Acceptance is a powerful force in itself.
And acceptance can bring happiness.
So, despite bipolar disorder, despite depression, you can still be happy, that’s what I’m saying.
So… I dare you to be happy. I double-dare you!
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
Wow how right on you are David:
Yes as a supporter I use to feel trapped and worried about everything I did and said etc. but then I stopped about 6 months ago and said “It is what it is” and I changed my life completely. I live each day as it comes and make myself happy and pray for strength and endurance to get me through and God must be helping as I am free of all fear.
Yes the fear of failing, and not being a good supporter and that is a failure in itself. Let go and let God and all will work.
I also told my loved one to pray, and help himself too, and I give him more responsibility.
It seems to be working and we are both happier.
Thanks for all your help to me during the years and your number one in my books David thanks Alice
Hello Dave;
Yes it is the same Danny that posted last time. Daring to be happy is a good challenge but sometimes life throws curveballs which make it very difficult right at that exact time. Like when your bipolar wife graduates from 6 years of university with distiction that you helped her achieve, you pay off your house and the stresses that make day to day life are supposed to be getting better…AND…THEN…your bipoalr wife abandons all plans, good things and a solid group of friends and supporters because the responsibility of success is too much. Not to mention the $250 000 divorce settlement that the entitled one seems to need to survive I wonder if you said to Van goughs brother just be happy how that would have gone over. OK so it is a choice but when choices around you are so destructive to not only the one with the condition the only choice is to save yourself and still take massive hits in the process. It is a choice to live up to your potential, it is a choice to do addictive drugs, but the people around you still might care and have some helpful ideas.
Been through the wringer and I feel OK! It is my choice to not let this condition destroy me.
HI DAVID,
DOUBLE-DARE IS GOOD, VERY GOOD ACTUALLY.
DESCRIPTION OF YOUR HAPPY FRIEND IS SO ACCURATE
I KNOW I KNOW HER, UNLESS SHE HAS A HAPPY TWIN.
HAPPINESS IS NOT A PERFECT SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES BUT
A FEELING LIKE NO OTHER. PERFECTLY ACCURATE WORDS
THAT CAN BE USED WHEN ONE ACHIEVES THE UNTHINKABLE
DESPITE ALL OF THEIR PERSONAL LIMITATIONS DUE TO
BIPOLAR OR OTHER CONDITION.
TRUE SURVIVORS, STORIES OF SUCCESS…THERE ARE MORE
THAN WE THINK OUT THERE. WE WILL NEVER TRULY KNOW.
TO ALL OF THEM AND FROM ALL OF THEM THANK YOU FOR YOUR
CONCERN AND ASSISTANCE. WE ARE HAPPY AND SO FORTUNATE
TO HAVE YOU. WE NEED ALL THE INSPIRATION AND HELP WE
CAN GET, AS YOU VERY WELL KNOW. GOD BLESS YOU!
Dave,
Thank you, I loved this one. You made my day and I’m going to start living this way. You are right, you can choose to be happy or not. We seem to forget this when we are caring for our loved ones and things are so up and down. I think if we do this our loved ones will see our change of attitude and maybe jump on board and be more happy with us. I’m going to sure give it a try.
Have a good day, and thanks for all you do to help those suffering from bipolar. I always look forward to your emails.
Hi Dave,
As a supporter to my daughter, I am always so grateful to receive your emails and surprised sometimes at how pertinent they are to my circumstances. I had made up my mind today to smile at everything and be happy, as you say. Me being uhhappy and low is not going to help anybody.
Something my daughter said to me today – I have been suffering from a virus for about six months and was feeling exceedingly fed up with it – she said if I had to live with it, so be it – lots of people have to live with far worse. How right she is – what is my little virus to anyone who lives with bipolar?
Than you for your continuing emails – they do help me so much.
hi david, you are so right. us people are so lucky! that we are positive and happy for the most time.thanks be to god.i find that most people are not that lucky, for some reason or not.you are right on and it should help many.
Thank you Dave – Once again your timely reminders give me positive food for thought. Just when I’m again feeling the walls closing in, as a bipolar supporter, you are offering a reminder to help me step outside the co-dependent box for a breath of fresh air. An attitude adjustment on my part certainly can only be a breath of fresh air for my bipolar loved one as well. Thanks for making my day, and you have a good one as well =)
sweet i wish everyone happiness just do it i dare ya!!!!!:)
that’s what I like about you – You are never late
Today, I’m like my favorite Apple Juice brand – I’ve VERYFINE
Hi Dave,
Being positive in life is definitely something to strive for, whether you are a sufferer of bipolar disorder, depression or a loved one of somebody who suffers.
It is also true to say that some of us have an easier time being positive than others, some bipolar sufferers’ experience greater down periods for longer cycles and some suffer severe lows for most of the time. So I do believe the struggle is different depending on the person and what works for one person unfortunately doesn’t work for all.
One thing I do know that works for mood regulation is keeping a regular daily routine. I really try to be positive I want to be positive, but find it doesn’t always come so naturally. But keeping a regular routine and waking up at the same time each day seems to really help my low moods. Something to do with circadian rhythms I think. Anyways, thanks for the great site!
WELL MR. OLIVER,
LIFE’S IS LIKE THIS: YOU’VE BEEN GIVE A TICKET FOR 2 TO GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD THAT YOU NEED TO BE ULTIMATELY HAPPY — HERE’S THE CATCH – YOU ARE NO DOUBT READY, THE OTHER PARTY (USUALLY OUR “BETTER” HALF IS STILL DELAYED)
HOW YOU “HANDLE” THE MEANTIME EXPERIENCE IS ALL YOURS
DO YOU GO BY URSELF, DO YOU REPLICATE THE TRAVELING COMPANION, DO YOU JUST GRAB ANYONE TO GO WITH – THINK “PARADISE” THOUGHTS – HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY WHERE YOU GO WHEN YOU GO WHEN SOMETHING “VERY IMPORTANT” IS MISSING – there is no medication that can produce this…..
YOUR SPOUSE OF CHOICE, YOUR PARENT OF CHOICE, YOUR NEIGHBOR OF CHOICE — HOW DO YOU LIVE UP THE DARE??? HOW DO YOU DO THAT WHEN YOU ARE AWAKENED TO “YOUR CHOICE”
MY SUGGESTION: OCCUPY TILL SHILOH! AND KEEP BUSY TILL PERFECTION SHOWS THEN AND ONLY THEN THE FRAGMENTARY THINGS START FADING AND YOU START SEEING THE PERFECT ENVIRONMENT, SITUATION AND LIFE — OCCUPY TILL THEN DON’T JUST GRAB ANY PARTNER TO MOVE ON — I HEARD THE NIGHTMARISH STORIES THAT BRING ON AND EVEN CREATE BIPOLAR IN PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT BIPOLAR
YOUR CHOICE IS WHAT KEEPS YOU POSITIVE IN LIFE, ISN’T THAT THE CASE – AND THERE’S USUALLY NO PAIN ATTACHED TO THAT.