Bipolar: Email – Loser Attitude or Sad Story?

Hi,

I got an email that said:

“David-
I am sick and tired of you people saying bipolar disorder is so easy to manage. You don’t understand. We try to manage it and you mock us. We can’t get jobs. We can’t handle money. We can’t help ourselves. The government doesn’t help. No one cares. You people don’t
understand.”
———————————————————————————————————————

Now, I ask you, is this a loser attitude, or is this just a sad story? Either way, I want to respond to it, line by line, because I feel like I have a responsibility to (and I need to defend myself and the people who work for me).

She says she is sick and tired of “you people” saying bipolar disorder is so easy to manage.

When have I EVER said that? I talk about how HARD it is to manage, as far as I know. That’s
why I write all these posts! I try so hard to teach supporters how to help their loved ones how to manage their bipolar disorder.

I KNOW how hard it is to manage the disorder, because I’m a supporter myself and I watched my mother go through it (still go through it).

Then she says I don’t understand. Oh, how well I do understand. I get hundreds and hundreds of
responses to my emails and posts. And I have over 10,000 testimonials about my courses and materials about bipolar disorder. If I didn’t understand, why would all these people thank me for understanding?

What about her line about, “We try to manage it and you mock us.”? Where is THAT coming
from? Have you EVER heard me say anything that is mocking? Sometimes I might say something in my posts that is humorous, but as one of my people who works for me that has bipolar disorder says, “Sometimes if you don’t laugh about it, you’ll cry.”

But mocking? No. I think bipolar disorder is a VERY serious disorder. I talk about that all the
time.

“We can’t get jobs,” she says. Then what about all the people who work for me? They got jobs.
And what about all the people who bought my material on getting jobs even though you have
bipolar disorder? That one is a BIG seller! Those people have gotten jobs, too.

Just because you have bipolar disorder doesn’t mean you can’t work. Many people who have
the disorder have even started their own home businesses. Another one of my materials is
about just that – starting your own home business, and that is another one that a lot of people buy, and they do very well. They don’t let their bipolar disorder stop them.

“We can’t handle money.” Well, that may be true. Many people with bipolar disorder can’t
handle money. But they have supporters who can.

Yes, one of the symptoms of bipolar disorder is excessive spending. But bipolar medication does help with that, too. So maybe this woman is just off her medication?

“We can’t help ourselves.” Well, I’m sorry, but I strongly disagree. I have just known too many
people with bipolar disorder who HAVE been able to help themselves.

“The government doesn’t help.” I’ve tried and tried to tell people that you can’t live on disability alone. You have to supplement your income somehow. But I also know a woman on SSDI who says she is not too proud to take charity or go to food banks to feed her kids. She says she does whatever she has to.

“No one cares. You people don’t understand.” I guess I would leave that for you to answer. Do
you agree with her? Do you think I don’t care? Do you think I don’t understand?

Because by now I am frustrated with this woman and her email.

Because I have so many people who work for me who have bipolar disorder, and they are some of the most creative, hard-working, problem-solvers, and productive, stable people I have ever known. They are not like this woman at all.

I told one of the people who works for me about this email, because at first I felt sorry for this woman. I thought her story was so sad.

This is what my employee told me: “When I was first diagnosed, I felt sorry for myself, and I told my girlfriend my problems. She told me, “You’re not on a pity-pot, you’re in a pity-bathtub!”

In other words, she didn’t get any sympathy from her girlfriend. She was practically told that she had a loser attitude, not that she had a sad story.

So that’s what I’m asking you. I’m done defending myself. Do you think this woman has a loser attitude or a sad story?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

  1. Perhaps it is a little bit of both: loser attitude AND sand story. I think, since from the gist of her comments and your reply, that we all at least have some sort of understanding as to what it means to be depressed. And as most people who struggle with depression can attest, when you are in that depressed state, THAT IS THE ONLY STATE THERE IS.

    Maybe she’s just tired. Maybe she’s been walking down her road alone and maybe its made her angry. I know sometimes when I feel alone and like no one is listening that’s what happens to me. And so we lash out. Not because its deserved, but its because the only thing our wounded psyches can do.

    Maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge…I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, sometimes to my detriment, but I try to anyway.

  2. Well I have been diagnosed years ago and I found it dificult to accept but not once did I feel sorry for myself. I felt denial and anger and more denial. I was angry a while back at God ’cause I lost so much but I somehow get to shake my own arse back into shape without pity or help from others. So in my opinion, this lady has a rather pathetic view of us bipolar patients. I hope she takes her meds and learns to read soon.

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