Bipolar Email – Loser Attitude or Sad Story?

Hi,

I got an email that said:

“David-

I am sick and tired of you people saying bipolar disorder is so easy to manage. You don’t understand. We try to manage it and you mock us. We can’t get jobs. We can’t handle money. We can’t help ourselves. The government doesn’t help. No one cares. You people don’t understand.”

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Now, I ask you, is this a loser attitude, or is this just a sad story?

Either way, I want to respond to it, line by line, because I feel like I have a responsibility to (and I need to defend myself and the people who work for me).

She says she is sick and tired of “you people” saying bipolar disorder is so easy to manage.

When have I EVER said that? I talk about how HARD it is to manage, as far as I know. That’s

why I write all these emails! I try so hard to teach supporters how to help their loved ones how to manage their bipolar disorder.

In the courses that I write, I try very hard to teach people how to manage their bipolar disorder, and these materials are HUNDREDS of pages long!

I KNOW how hard it is to manage the disorder, because I’m a supporter myself and I watched my mother go through it (still go through it).

Then she says I don’t understand. Oh, how well I do understand. I get hundreds and hundreds of

responses to these emails. And I have over 10,000 testimonials about my courses and materials about bipolar disorder. If I didn’t understand, why would all these people thank me for understanding?

What about her line about, “We try to manage it and you mock us.”? Where is THAT coming

from? Have you EVER heard me say anything that is mocking?

Sometimes I might say something in my emails that is humorous, but as one of my people who

works for me that has bipolar disorder says, “Sometimes if you don’t laugh about it, you’ll cry.”

But mocking? No. I think bipolar disorder is a VERY serious disorder. I talk about that all the

time.

“We can’t get jobs,” she says. Then what about all the people who work for me? They got jobs.

And what about all the people who bought my material on getting jobs even though you have

bipolar disorder? That one is a BIG seller! Those people have gotten jobs, too.

Just because you have bipolar disorder doesn’t mean you can’t work. Many people who have

the disorder have even started their own home businesses. Another one of my materials is

about just that – starting your own home business, and that is another one that a lot of people buy, and they do very well. They don’t let their bipolar disorder stop them.

“We can’t handle money.” Well, that may be true. Many people with bipolar disorder can’t

handle money. But they have supporters who can. In my courses/materials I do go into that as

well. And I have talked about it in my emails, too. So there is a solution for that.

Yes, one of the symptoms of bipolar disorder is excessive spending. But bipolar medication does help with that, too. So maybe this woman is just off her medication?

“We can’t help ourselves.” Well, I’m sorry, but I strongly disagree. I have just known too many

people with bipolar disorder who HAVE been able to help themselves.

“The government doesn’t help.” I’ve tried and tried to tell people that you can’t live on disability alone. You have to supplement your income somehow. But I also know a woman on SSDI who says she is not too proud to take charity or go to food banks to feed her kids. She says she does whatever she has to.

“No one cares. You people don’t understand.” I guess I would leave that for you to answer. Do

you agree with her? Do you think I don’t care? Do you think I don’t understand? Because by now I am frustrated with this woman and her email.

Because I have so many people who work for me who have bipolar disorder, and they are some of the most creative, hard-working, problem-solvers, and productive, stable people I have ever known. They are not like this woman at all.

I told one of the people who works for me about this email, because at first I felt sorry for this woman. I thought her story was so sad.

This is what my employee told me: “When I was first diagnosed, I felt sorry for myself, and I told my girlfriend my problems. She told me, “You’re not on a pity-pot, you’re in a pity-bathtub!” In other words, she didn’t get any sympathy from her girlfriend. She was practically told that she had a loser attitude, not that she had a sad story.

So that’s what I’m asking you. I’m done defending myself. Do you think this woman has a loser attitude or a sad story?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

  1. very sad – sorry to hear where she is now….in life

    p.s. there are no coincidences in life – why one doesn’t have the things they want is always an offset by something else.

    perhaps you can’t get a job because you are needed to perform ____________________

    perhaps you people just doesn’t work for you because you need to focus less on “you people” and more on Your Higher Power

    See lately i haven’t been getting what i want but i can’t lie, i’ve been getting exactly what I need though….Protection, Assurance and Support those are offsets for the things i don’t quite have now…..

    just my two cents

    Yvette

  2. Dave i had to recopy this article you wrote on 12/09 – it was good for an associate of mine ‘TODAY” especially the “Resentment Part” – that’s why

    Hi, how are you today? I hope you’re doing fine.

    Sometimes people get the wrong idea of what being a supporter is. They think they have to do

    everything for their loved one with bipolar disorder. Even things that they can do for themselves. And that’s called enabling, which isn’t a positive thing for a supporter.

    I mean, I’m not saying not to help your loved one, you should, but just not to the extreme. Some supporters who go to the extreme treat their loved one like a child, and then wonder why their loved one resents them. You don’t want this to happen to you. You want to be the best supporter

    you can be.

    But you also cannot leave out one very important person in the process of supporting your loved one – YOU!

    Love, Marie

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