Bipolar: Don’t Be Set in This

Hi,

There are many types of art: Among them being paintings and sculptures. Have you ever seen a beautiful sculpture? Perhaps even the famous sculpture of David? Have you ever seen a sculpture in stone? Then you know how permanent it can be.

What about Mount Rushmore? Have you ever seen it? Many people think it should be one of the 7 Wonders of the World because it is so grand! It, too, is made of stone. And it is as permanent as it can be.

We even have an expression: We say things are “set in stone.” That’s when we’re saying they are fixed, or immovable.

But when it comes to bipolar disorder, you can’t be fixed or immovable. You can’t be “set in stone.” You need to be flexible when you’re dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder. If you are too fixed in stone, you really won’t get anywhere with your loved one.

They won’t do anything you say. They won’t respect you (or your wishes). They will probably just resent you. They may become belligerent. They may even become hostile toward you. They may fight with you. They may say things that hurt you.

What I’m saying is: If you are fixed in stone, it can be a very negative thing when you’re dealing
with a loved one with bipolar disorder. Again, you need to be flexible.

Their doctor or psychiatrist needs to be flexible as well. For example: Say your loved one is having a problem with their bipolar disorder. They may even be headed toward an episode.

But luckily, you are catching it in time (because you are a good supporter and you have noticed the signs and symptoms early). If they are set in stone about medications, they won’t consider changing them. Even if that’s exactly what is needed. They need to be flexible. Because in many cases, just a temporary increase in medication can help avoid a full-blown episode.

Or your loved one’s medication may need to be changed, or another medication added. So your loved one’s doctor or psychiatrist needs to be flexible about medications. And your loved one definitely needs to be flexible.

For example: They need to be flexible about having an open mind to new suggestions. Like for things that their therapist might suggest in a therapy session. They need to be flexible enough to try what the therapist says to do to help them with their bipolar disorder (or, say, their relationship with you).

They even need to be flexible about suggestions from me about things that will help them get stable with their bipolar disorder. Things like changing their sleep schedule or their diet.

But you do need to be flexible when you’re dealing with your loved one. Say you’re doing something with your loved one that just doesn’t seem to be working any more. You have to be willing to try something new.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

  1. They say sometimes you get just what you need.
    I’ve been with husband 35 yrs and his ability to work has been more challenging than I think most people could/would survive. The dejuvu is hard to accept and the past year has been hell as we are trying to survive on my pay only with two teens who I’d say are most impacted and my little sister who is loaning consistently so we don’t end up on street. Think we’ll no i know I could go on and on about the negative influence of my situation but that’s something your message helped me to try and accept the recent setback and let my mind be more flexible in my way of thinking. Thank you for the moment I will hopefully think flexibility tommorrow as I communicate with him. Take care.
    PS many of your emails have helped but this time I’d let you know I appreciate your help.

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