=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=
Hi,
How’s it going?
I just got back from the gym and I have to
get moving. I have to catch my plane to California.
I am leaving at like noon. I am not packed. I have
to hurry.
Before I leave, I wanted to tell you about
something. I have to hurry. Sorry.
Well, I am really excited about what I’m going
to teach you about today!
It’s called THE MIRROR EXERCISE
This is a GREAT exercise, for both
survivors and supporters – even for
people who don’t even have
bipolar disorder!
I read about it in a book called The
Success Principle, by Jack Canfield.
You might know him from all his
Chicken Soup for the Soul books.
Anyway, The Mirror Exercise is based
on the principle that we all need
acknowledgment but the most
important acknowledgment is the
one we give ourselves.
It has to do with exchanging negative
thoughts to positive thoughts, as well
as positive affirmations, both of which
I go into extensively in my courses
and systems:
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The way you do this exercise is that just before
bed, you stand in front of the mirror and, as
Canfield says, you “appreciate yourself for all
you have achieved during the day. “
He says to start with a few seconds of looking
directly (eye-to-eye contact) at yourself in the
mirror.
Then address yourself by name and begin
appreciating yourself OUT LOUD for the
following things:
Any achievements –business, financial,
educational, personal, physical, spiritual,
or emotional.
Any personal disciplines you kept –
dietary, exercise, reading, meditation,
prayer.
Any temptation that you did not give in
to – eating dessert, lying, watching too
much TV, staying up too late, drinking
too much.
————————————————–
Maintain good eye contact with yourself
throughout the exercise to get the best
impact.
When you’re finished, wait a few seconds,
then say to yourself in the mirror,
“I love you.” For some, this is the hardest
thing to do, but it will get easier with
practice.
The trick during this last part is to not
just turn away from the mirror feeling
embarrassed or thinking of yourself or the
exercise as stupid or silly.”
Canfield says to do this exercise for a
minimum of 3 MONTHS.
I’d like to see someone try this for
3 WEEKS! and tell me if it makes a
difference for them.
Any takers?????
Hey, I have to run, talk to you tomorrow.
PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL HERE
Your Friend,
Dave
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I am a supporter of a now 18 year old son. This is our 5th year after being told he was bipolar. I practice in front of a mirror of how I will react and talk to him when he starts to get into his nonlistening, arguementative, and I can see the raging starting in his eyes and he is making no sense when he is talking. I practice saying ” You are not able to control yourself at this time to listen, so the answer is no and we will talk later when you are able to control yourself. I am going upstairs now.” This immediately ends the conversation and he only has the air to argue with. He might follow me upstairs and then fall apart in tears, and that is when I put my arms around him and tell him I know it is hard, but he needs to control it, not let it control him, and if it feels too bad, he needs to ask for help and we will get it. He takes three meds and has mild ups and downs. Does have addictive and money spending problems that he is trying to curb. Thankfully he is not into drugs and alcohol and is still very naive about girls. His maturity level is about 15 or 16 because of time lost from BP and ADHD and hospitalizations. He missed out on 2 1/2 years of highschool, because he just could not go, so I sold my business and home schooled him. He passed the GED the first time through, I had to learn Algebra and Geometry long with him. Yes it was a struggle, trying to keep him focused, taking breaks often, dealing with his anger, but I was determined. Now he has a job, and is slowly maturing to his age level, but it is still a struggle. But I keep practicing in that mirror, and have looked in that mirror at myself and been amazed at the person looking back at what I have done, but only because of God. Now I think it is time for my son to look in that mirror and appreciate how far he has come, the things he has achieched and to tell himself that he loves himself even to fight for himself
God bless all of us,
Janet
Thank you for this reminder to take time out for personal appreciation and reflection. It certainly will make a difference. I am happy to be receiving this BD email. It has become a good ally and friend.
i tried something similar in an AMAC class i took some time ago and it really seemed to help, though i did not keep up the practice. i’ll try this exercise for three weeks, but i’m afraid my “out loud” will be more of whisper. thanks for the lesson.
I am going to do this for at least 3 months. Thanks for the challenge.
My mother has given me such advice several times and somehow I manage not to do it. I have done it twice today, just to find out where my reluctance lay. I think it is because I do not consider myself pretty, but this time, I’ll just look for the pretty me through my own eyes.
Thank you for your concern.
This is something I have done for many years of my life.
Along with this affirmation I have also over the years learned to accept and love my body.
I also wake up in the morning…get out of bed, take a breath and say to myself “upright and sucking air. This is a good day. Bonus!”
You can’t love or appreciate others until you are able to do it for yourself.
I’m NOT very good at looking at myself and giving affirmations. Although I have been an actress in the past, I’m not USED to looking at myself as OTHERS see me.
My last, late husband could NOT agree with, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” because he had lost a leg during a suicide attempt, and couldn’t love HIMSELF. I look back and only hope that he could see the love I had for HIM.
I will TRY this exercise, if only to have something else give me the self-esteem and self-confidence I need to get me through a VERY hard time I’m having right now. It seems as if EVERYTHING I try to get a “friend” to repay a $25,000 loan fails; turns out there’s a statute of limitations on personal loans of 3 years, and it’s been 4-1/2 years. I NEED this money in order to keep my house; I have only five more months of payments available to me.
What do you DO when you’re at the end of your rope? Maybe looking at myself in the mirror and seeing the “little” good things that happened during the day, would enlighten me that I AM a viable, “normal” person, capable of taking care of myself. I have NO supporter to “bring in the cavalry” and save me.
Thank you for the “tip;” it may do some good. And – GOOD LUCK ON YOUR TRIP!! I look forward to hearing of YOUR success!
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. Please pray for Susan as she goes through a very rough time. And please save a little prayer for me as I go through the hardest time in my life. Thank you.
My Dad has had me doing something similar. Because I can’t look at myself in the mirror for too long without getting freaked out, I just say it in my mind.
It is a baby step, but I repeat “I am a wonderful wife and mother” to myself, and to my dad when we talk. I am starting to believe it and act that way.
I also use personal prayer to pour out my heart and try to sort of have a report of the day.
Anyway, I think this is a great exercize.
Sounds like a great idea. Wish I could get my son to do anything regularly. He is showing some improvement since high school, but he still tends to be able to focus on only one thing at a time and that is usually something like fishing, wrestling, or getting with his friend. Whatever it is he is is into , he can’t seem to take in anything else. He has OCD as well as bi-polar and it seems that the medications have helped the bi-polar more than the OCD.
Hi David, I always do this even when people say “I love you”, I say ” I love me to”. Depending on who says it I will say I love you to.
Karen
Hello, I really had to write about this specific exercise b/c I’ve done it before. Let me tell a little back round of myself. I’ve been going to a therepist on and off since I was about 4 or 5 years old. I did not find out I had bp until I was about 23-24. When I was in middle school I believe 8th grade, I had an extremely low/bad self-esteem. I also went through a battle w/anorexia. Well when I went to NJ to visit my friend she told me to wake up and look in the mirror and tell your self that you are beautiful and that you love yourself. She said do this as much as you can. So I did-I eventually stopped but when I did do the exercise it worked. It made my more positive. Well I’m at work so I have to go but if you try this exercise I should work! It worked for me! :)Oh and sorry about my spelling it’s not the greatest.